Thursday/Friday

“I WISH YOU’D JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

‘SLAM’

My wounds may heal but my heart still bleeds.

She wants me to leave her alone? Being away from my mate, that’s torture for every step I take away from her, like I'm stepping on a trail of hot flaming coal, and every step backwards is the cool salty sea to disinfect whatever blisters may have formed from the heat. It’ll sting, but that’s what regret does to you.

I wish that could happen to me.

To come back.

To regret it all.

But I stand for whatever Jennie wishes of me.

She told me to leave her alone, and that reminds me of something.

Last Wednesday ~

“Actually you know what? I don’t give a . I couldn’t give a ing about who the Jessica is! I couldn’t give a ing as to why you dragged an innocent who I’m guessing is a human who doesn’t understand what a ing retard of a wolf you are but I don’t need you ing up this whole up with me and my parents because I don’t know where the hell you are in the world you are because I’m your mate! Okay?! You seem to somehow, I don’t even know how, get on the good sides of my parents as a damn ty sub, and I need that to ing stay like that for the sake of us! So more rules!”

What just-

“As soon as you leave school, get home as soon as possible! I don’t need anyone wondering why you’re going the wrong way home if they follow you home to bash you up or whatever! We don’t need my parents seeing any of that , are we clear?! You only need to leave the house for school or if I tell you anyways!”

I opened my mouth but…

She sped off without a word.

~

She said to leave the house when she tells me to. And she wished for me to leave her alone. Was she telling me to leave the house? Was this something I was going to misunderstand? I don’t think so; the pain in my heart is clearly her in the bond saying to leave. She wants me gone.

I have to leave.

With my sweaty hands, probably from the fear I’d induced while Jennie expressed herself to me, I start wiping my face of the excess sweat and tears. I'm not afraid to let out my cries now, though I do keep quiet because Jennie could hear me if I start to cry hard. Something I need to do. The relentless pain in my chest is urging me to, but I can’t, first I should get to the bed.

I wipe my teary eyes one last time before I slowly move my hands to the ground to push myself up, but all my limbs are unsteady and shake within the second I apply pressure. Why am I even on the ground anyways? Oh right, she pushed me. Jennie pushed me. Jennie, my mate, pushed me, her mate. I know she doesn’t care if I get hurt, though she does try to make it minimum so that her parents don’t find out, but she hurt me this time.

Realising this new information, my arms shake even more till my body falls to the ground, hitting the cold floor with no care as my heart hurts more than ever. It feels like it is being torn in two, a half being pulled out of my chest and I ache for it to come back but to no avail.

Jennie has taken it away. And now, my heart bleeds for her.

I WISH YOU’D JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

I have to leave.

With whatever strength I have, I very much slowly get up, legs barely able to hold me up but I have no choice. I just start making my way to my school bag, emptying everything on the ground with no care though and search around the room for what I need.

• My phone is a must so I’ll take that, whipping it off the charge and in my bag.
• I need something to keep me warm, clothes and blankets. I stuff my bag with a few spare clothes, underwear, and also a small blanket that was apparently for summer but now its for ‘camping’
• I’ll take a book, for drawing or whatnot because I know I’ll go crazy if I don’t do anything to occupy my mind
• Food. And water. That’s all I need, so ill grab that before I'm out of the house.

Looking at my filled bag on the table, I look to the right to where my window is. Its not necessarily dark, the sun looks like its soon to set, leaving a gradient in the sky from a peachy pink to a dark purple that’ll wash over the whole sky and turn to a dark blue blanket. Lowering my eyes, I estimate about 50m to walk till I reach the dark forest. I’ve always wanted to run away from dad into there… maybe I should finally go.

I change into a pair of black shorts, like running shorts, and a pink polo shirt and wear a normal back jacket on top. They seem suitable to wear into the forest, I don’t have anything to trek in so these are gonna have to come instead. In fact, I don’t know why I brought spare clothes. No wait, they could rip so I guess they have a use. Last I take a black cap and some sneakers and I put the strap of my bag across me because it is those shoulder bags.

Leave her a note.

Rae?!

Is that you?!

Please talk to me! I'm scared!

She disappeared without a reply, though I could hear her voice trembling a lot.

She doesn’t oppose me.

She’s not stopping me.

I’m really doing this.

I take in a deep breath, patting my cheeks to keep me in my game after the sudden entrance of Rae before she left again.

Leaving a note though, is Jennie going to read it? No. Should I anyways? Yes, because Rae told you to so you're gonna do just that.

I dumped my schoolwork on the floor, all my books and my pens are there. I quickly pick a pen and rip a page from one of my notebooks, contemplating on what to write as what I believe will be my last words to Jennie.

Should I say why I left? Because you told me to Jennie so I'm going to? No, doesn’t seem fit.

Should I say to take care? Not to worry about me? No, she doesn’t care about me so it doesn’t matter.

How about where I'm going? That’s stupid; I don’t even know where I'm going myself.

Bingo!

I know exactly what to write, and though its subtle, empty, and also quite minimalistic, it gets the point across the board.

It’s harsh though, not to her but to me.

I leave it on my desk, placing it right on the corner so that she could possibly see it the next time she passes the hallway. The when I decide its in the right spot, I cant help the tear that suddenly drops on the paper. I didn’t even realise this would affect me that bad, or I did but I was a lot slower than usual.

Because I'm writing this simple message, even though I wish it would be the opposite. Why on earth should I be giving her these thought out message when she is the one that continues to hurt my heart, my head, even my body when it comes to school. She keeps me on my toes, making me wary of every turn I take at school. She keeps me constantly visiting Jessica, and then she scolds me for talking to her when I actually have to.

Jennie Kim is a drug.

Because though she’s so harmful to take in, though she does so much damage to my body that I'm sent crumbling to the ground, she still is so desirable yet sinful. Looking at her makes me practically touch her at least one when she’s warm, because if she’s cold then she’s in control. I can’t do whatever it is to help place a smile on her face. The literal sight of me gives her disgust, so I guess leaving her is a good idea.

I silently left my room, walking away from the room that holds my very mate that is technically sending me off but I do believe that with her out of my life, I will finally be at what they call ‘peace’. I’ve never experienced peace, so I am intrigued as to what they mean when they ‘empty out all their emotions’.

 Finally make it downstairs, and I hear the loud giggles of the maids as they whip up a dish that I'm meant to eat, but will go to waste. Maybe they can eat it though, I'm sure they wouldn’t mind. But they’re in the kitchen, and I need to pack some food for my little adventure. Siting in the living room, I think about my excuses to use on the girls when my eyes start to roam around the room when they lock onto something that can pass off.

Biscuits! And a 2 litre bottle of water that probably has 1.5 litres left but it works better than nothing! Why were they here again? Oh right, that’s how I roll when it comes to hospitality. It was for Jennie’s parents from this afternoon.

2 hours ago ~

My hands gripped the handles of the tray to the point where I could see the whites of my knuckles, yet it continued to wobble the tea cups and biscuits. Even with my werewolf strength, which was like half of the regular wolf but anyways, I was still a weak submissive who was bound to drop this tray and spill all the tea that Jennie had urged me to make with selective words.

“Oh dear, Jennie go help the poor girl.” I hear Mrs Kim say before Jennie is standing in front of me with a hard glare and taking 2 teacups away. The weight on the tray and my shoulders were now much less, making it easier for me to walk to the table of the living room and leaving the tray and giving one of the teas to Jennie and the other to myself.

But I never liked tea on its own, even with milk and sugar, it was always such a weird drink to me. Heck, I didn’t know that vampires could drink tea, only blood, but then I remember that Jennie likes milk ice cream. So with my tea, I walk to the kitchen before anybody realises and grab a packet of tea biscuits and walk back.

“Where did you go dear?” Mr Kim asks as he notices me walking over, Mrs Kim looks at me with a smile before taking a sip of her tea and Jennie just turns and stares at me with her eyes glowing red a little because I know she hates it when I talk.

“Oh,” I say before I sit down on the couch next to Jennie but we have like near a metre of distance between us. “I dislike tea on its own, so I just have it with some biscuits. Would you like some?” I shake the packet of biscuits in my hand, which have like 20 in a pack so I don’t mind sharing but he just smiles at me and answers “Its okay dear, this tea is good enough for me.” I nod to him, though I then look to Mrs Kim and look at her with the same expression, hoping she gets what I'm looking at her for and she successfully does. “I’ll try one please.” I smile at her widely before I open the packet and give her 1 biscuit before I take my own and start dipping it in the tea.

~

Now that makes a lot sense.

But where did the water come from? Oh who cares, I have food and water and so now I'm off.

I quietly make my way to the front door, almost grabbing the handle before I turn around instead and look at the grand house I live in. Or, used to live in. It was such a nice house, well mansion, but who cares. Though it held frightening encounters with Jennie or awkward moments when we saw each other before she would walk off, I still have good memories with the maids here. They made sure I was healthy, helped me with my lost voice and aren’t actually scared of Jennie; I noticed it for a while.

Well girls, its been fun.

With a sigh, I turn and open the door slowly so that it doesn’t squeak by the hinges. Immediately, a gust of wind hits my face and I shiver slightly at the thought of walking all night in this weather but then it subsides and its quickly back to a warmish/humid sunset.

When ii step out, I close the door slowly once again for the squeakiness and so that it doesn’t create a loud bang. The house echoes a lot, and I don’t need it to reach anybody’s ears right now so if I do all this, I should be fine.

‘Click’

And there, the door has been closed.

I'm free.

Walking off the actual property, I think about a few things.

I'm free from my dad.

I'm free from Chanyeol and Sehun.

I'm free from Jennie.

I'm free from anyone who feels disgusted when they are in my presence.

We’re free!

Rae?! Are you there!

Yes pup, I'm here. And I'm here for good. I'm sorry for not talking to you like usual, but when Jennie talks, I can’t talk. I start to whimper to the point where I bury my head under my paw because of how depressed I get.

Oh… But you're staying right?

Of course I am! What type of guide would I be if I eft you lost with Jennie? No, finally we are out of the grasps of anyone who tries to manipulate, hurt and embarrass you.

Yup, because we’re going to the forest!

To the forest, pup!

But won’t I be too weak to survive? I mean, there could be bears in there…

If you think like that then you won’t stand a chance. But remember what I told you, don’t show your weakness.

Okay Rae!

That’s my pup!

My grin is wider than ever as I’m only 20 metres away from the forest. I'm actually doing this. I’m going to go into that forest, and I'm going to start living on my own for my own sake.

Let’s do this!

The next morning ~

Jennie POV ~

Vampires don’t sleep.

Well they can but it doesn’t really do anything, it’s like fast-forwarding in life 8 hours or so and I don’t want to waste my life like that. I only sleep for 2 hours, from 2-4 am because it just fits in with my own schedule. Drinking a few blood bags, studying, doing whatever on my phone or watching a movie. Watching what humans interpret a vampire is before they met our kind is quite humorous. This Count Dracula as well. I mean, he does say “I want to your blood, blegh ble-blegh.” But I still like Hotel Transylvania because it’s still cute.

I'm such a child.

But something felt wrong as I kept watching the movie. Just every second, I felt the urge to just drop the phone and run out somewhere. I don’t know where, which is why it feels so off. Especially in my chest. My heart doesn’t beat though, so it makes no sense as to why it would hurt.

All of this was setting off the mood for me to watch a simple movie in peace. In fact, it started right after I vented off at ___, my stupid mate. God, just talking about her dulls my thoughts. I mean, it usually does but now with this sudden off feeling in my chest, I feel like sleeping in. But that’s stupid, I don’t sleep.

Placing my phone away, I simply get up and I literally feel like collapsing. As in, my legs want to move but then they don’t.

Its like… like I'm being lazy…

I’m never lazy, though my bed looks really nice to flop on.

Whatever, I need to get to school before that so that I can plan with Chanyeol and Sehun how to back her today. She pissed me off, and I need to make her suffer for being my mate. Though nobody knows, and I hope to keep it that way, I still can make anyone do whatever I want because  a damn royal and everyone still cares about it even when I say its okay.

Also, she keeps talking about this Jessica girl which is really frustrating because she talks to ___. I don’t want or need ___ making friends, nobody deserves to be around her. I mean, nobody deserves to bear the pain of being around her, I think. I feel so out of it today.

I change my clothes and fix myself in the bathroom, and one thing different is that it isn’t quickly. I'm trudging my way every step, reluctant to move an inch. Maybe I just need a good blood bag though, so I shove whatever books I need for today and, for once, slowly make my way down to the kitchen where there are blood bags in the fridge.

With no care, I throw my bag to the front door, or well slide it in that direction, and wander my way as my shoulders are slumped. I didn’t bother with my hair, its straight and a little messy but in a natural way so nothing is wrong with it. To be honest, it looked hot, and that’s the only thing that mattered.

The maids are probably fixing something for ___ when she wakes up so I just waltz into the kitchen, not paying attention to the weirded looks I receive from the girls due to my ‘tired’ state but simply yanking open the fridge door and snatching 2 blood bags, not my usual amount but I feel drained.

Ha, the irony! A vampire being drained.

Ah, I'm still not in the mood to crack a small laugh at my joke. Something is wrong with me. Am I sick? I mean, can vampires even get sick? Well, I guess that’s something to check in dad’s library.

I drop onto one of the couches in the living room, poking my bag with the straw that comes attached and drinking slowly in case I am sick because I don’t need to puke blood all over my clothes and the floor.

I check my phone- No wait, let me fix that.

I was about to check my phone of everything, but it wasn’t on me. Where was it? I didn’t lose it did I? That would make no sense, I was just using it like half an hour ago and then I put it away. Oh… its on the bedside table, but I thought I took it…

Great, now I'm forgetting things as well.

And I don’t want to drink this blood anymore. It ruins my appetite for some reason.

This morning is not going well.

So with whatever care, I start to make my way to my room and grabbing my phone from across my bed because I just happen to have flopped on it. I don’t regret it one bit.

When I make my way back down, I notice that ___’s door is open from a distance. Stupid. Did she sleep with it open? I don’t need to hear her wake up or whatever, she’s an annoying as always, stupid submissive.

But as I properly pass her room, I see a stack or well a mess of papers on the ground. The sun is out as well, blinding my eyes in this begrudged state of mine as I use a hand to cover my sight. When I squint my eyes till I properly adjust my sight, I push open the door and hear dead silence.

Dead silence.

That’s not normal. I should be able to hear ___’s breathing, it’s a part of the ing bond I have with her. The bond… why can’t I feel her here? Its like she disappeared completely, or well almost.

With panic, I properly come to my senses and get into the room and look around. ___ isn’t in bed, that’s what I first notice. Next is that  bed has been made, she doesn’t do I made, something I figured out for some reason, if ___ isn’t told to fix it then she won’t do it so the maids would have done it. Her clothes from yesterday are on the ground in form of the cupboard, and I go to check the bathroom but I don’t hear anything.

No a single whisper, or a heartbeat.

Is she dead? Then why don’t I want to kill myself?

Oh wait…

___ isn’t here.

She isn’t here….

SHE ISN’T ING HERE! SO WHERE IS SHE?!

“___?!” I call out, hopefully getting an answer because this is no time for fun and games. “___! I swear to god! Where are you!?” Please tell me this is some sort of sick joke she’s playing on me. But ___ can’t play jokes, she’s a damn submissive who can’t figure out things for herself.

In the corner of my eye, I see something shining to my face. When I turn, my speed is automatically in play as I realise that its paper that’s reflecting the sun due to how white it is.

When I pick it up to read it, all it says are few words that really know how to kick-start, or deflat a bond.

I'm sorry - ___.

 I instantly start have shaking hands and hold it like it’s the most delicate item in the world as I notice a tear stain she must’ve dropped while writing this and look out the window to where the woods are.

I ed up.

Real bad.

Have i been forgiven for the angst i've given you all?PLEASE ACCEPT A HAPPY OC!

Also, i hope the ble chapter in my timezone is enoug tosuffice. I'll be overseas for 12 days so stay with this :)

MEOW OUT!!