“Every woman becomes their mother. That's their tragedy.” -Oscar Wilde

 

But what it if their mother used to be a member of Korea’s top girl group?

 

 

*********

 

"It defined a generation, and that generation continues to this day... they are an existence precious to me, just as much as you are to me."

 

“Wakey wakey, my darling baby~ Good morning!” A statuesque woman waltzed into the pastel-colored room.

 

The small lump in the bed stirred a bit, followed by a muffled reply. “I don’t wanna go to school.”

 

That’s strange. Her daughter loves going to school. She gently pulled the blanket and saw the kid sniffing. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Ma, I don’t wanna go to school.”

 

”Are you sick?” Her hand went to the girl’s forehead. “Are you hurting somewhere?” She sat on the bed as her arms subsequently wrapped around the tiny body.

 

Sniffs grew into wails after feeling her mother’s warm embrace.

 

“Oh dear, why?”

 

“I’m ugly.” A response barely audible as the tiny voice cracked.

 

She caught the message but she had to make sure. “What?”

 

“My classmates said I am ugly.”

 

The tearful confession made her wince. Can she smack four-year-olds? Nope, of course not. Choi Sooyoung attacked preschoolers. It will make a terrible news headline. “Wanna tell me what happened?”

 

“They said I’m ugly, Ma. They said I look weird because my eyes are big.”

 

“Look at me, darling.” Sooyoung wiped the tears off her daughter’s face before initiating eye contact. “Are my eyes small, or big?”

 

“Big.”

 

“Do I look weird?”

 

“No, Momma.”

 

She batted her eyelashes and placed her hands under her chin. “Am I ugly?”

 

If not for the heavy atmosphere moments ago, the youngster wouldn’t have suppressed her laughter. Her mother looks good even while sporting a funny face. “No. You’re beautiful.”

 

“And you are, too.” Sooyoung firmly stated, relieved that she was able to lighten up the mood. “Just because you have big eyes, doesn’t mean that you’re ugly.”

 

It didn’t take long for the weeping child to calm down. “They’re meanies.”

 

“Well, if they’re being meanies and it made you feel upset, you should tell them it’s not nice.” She spoke while rubbing soothing circles on her back. “But no shouting, alright. It would make them feel bad, too. Would you like it if your friends yell at you?”

 

“No, Momma. Friends don’t make each other feel bad.”

 

“That’s my darling.” Sooyoung softly pinched the child’s chubby cheeks. “So... are you going to school or not?”

 

The kid remained rooted in her spot, cutely fiddling with her fingers.

 

“Awww, too bad. I thought you’re going to school today so I cooked some tu-“

 

“Tuna kimchi fried rice?!” The kid dashed to the kitchen with her mother in tow. “Ma, hurry up!”

 

"That day will come, right? And I’ll need to live as Lee Soonkyu again... though I probably won’t be able to return to that. I’ll be remembered and known as Sunny, so I can’t go back. However, once I a while, I miss Lee Soonkyu."

 

Running an entertainment empire is not an easy task.

 

Yes, SNSD’s Sunny turned into SM Entertainment’s Creative Director Sunny Lee. Not your typical executive though, she’s more of a hands-on lady boss who checks everything personally than staying cooped up at their headquarters’ top floor. She would often be found in her office at the onset of working hours, as most of her mornings were spent reviewing and signing documents.

 

Incoming video call from Umma...

 

“Hello, Soonkyu-yah?”

 

“Yes, Umma.” She looked at the screen and saw her mother trying to fight sleepiness. “Why did you call?”

 

Old Mrs. Park lowered the camera to the sulking child beside her. “She won’t go to sleep.”

 

“I want my Mama, Halmeoni. I want to talk to her.”

 

Sunny heaved a lungful of air when her daughter’s face came into view. “I’m talking to you right now, little missy.”

 

“Mama!” The kid grabbed the phone from her grandmother in an instant. “Hello there, Mama! I miss you.”

 

She checked the world clocks on the wall to her right. Kuwait – 2:00 AM. “It’s way past midnight out there and you’re still awake?”

 

The lovely smile turned into an adorable pout. “I want to talk to you.”

 

“We’ll talk next time. Go sleep, your Halmeoni is tired.”

 

“How are you? When are you going here in Kuwait? Will you be here for my birthday?”

 

Sunny was quite annoyed with the barrage of questions from the child. “I said, go to sleep.”

 

“But Mama—“

 

“Go. To. Bed.” She spoke through gritted teeth. “If you don’t, you’ll never see me anymore.”

 

The frightened kid suddenly gave the phone back to her grandmother and bade goodbye before leaving. “I’m going to sleep. I love you, Mama. Please come back because I miss you.”

 

Sunny held her temples. For her, it’s better to be swamped with tons of officework than to deal with that child.

 

“Soonkyu-yah...”

 

“I still have lots of stuff to do, Umma. You should take a rest as well. I’ll make it up to you next time, alright?”

 

“Make it up to your daughter instead.” Mrs. Park chided. “You can’t ignore her forever. I’m hanging up, goodbye.”

 

Oh, the truth in those words. If she could only change the past she would’ve done so in a heartbeat.

 

Fat teardrops fell without her knowing.

 

"People who love us will love the decisions we make. In the long term, I and the other girls will have families and that’s the joy of life... and we need to experience that as well."

 

“Where are we going next, Mommy?”

 

“We’ll get our hair done at the hair salon, and eat some of your favorite ice cream too.”

 

A perfectly-manicured hand glided through the rack of leotard dresses. She just enrolled her child to pre-ballet classes with hopes to build confidence and social skills because she’s painfully shy. The little girl reminded her so much of her best friend back in Korea.

 

“Shopping for your sister?” A friendly staff approached them.

 

“She’s my daughter.”

 

“Oh...” The staff did a double take. “My bad, I seriously thought you’re siblings!”

 

Just like fine wine, Stephanie Hwang only got better as years went by. “I actually get that a lot. Thanks for the compliment.”

 

Their small talk abruptly ended when Tiffany’s phone rang. She kept a safe distance before talking to the caller.

 

“Eomeonim... Yes, we’re at a ballet boutique... Well, okay...” The pretty lady’s face sombered. “I understand, Eomeonim. We’ll be home shortly. Alright. Bye.”

 

Shy kids may not speak often, but they are keen observers. The sudden change on her mother’s expression didn’t go unnoticed. “Is that Grandma?”

 

“Yup, she wants to take you and your oppa to the movies.” Tiffany hid her disappointment with a subtle shrug, turning back to the leotard dresses on display. Her plans for their mother-daughter date fell through. “Take your pick. Any color looks great on you.”

 

It took quite some time for her to choose. “Let’s get the pink one, Mommy.”

 

“Perfect.” Her eyes curved into lovely crescents, genuinely pleased at her daughter’s choice. “You’re definitely my mini-me!”

 

Truthfully, the little girl wanted to pick the one in purple, but she opted for the pink dress because it will surely make her Mommy happy. She just wanted to see her smile more often.

 

"If later on my daughter wants to be in a girl group, then I think I’m going to oppose. I would want to help my daughter walk a different career path."

 

California, USA

 

She followed her heart. It wasn’t easy, but it definitely paid off.

 

Jessica Jung herself is an oxymoron; a hardworking lazy girl.

 

Destiny must be making up for those times she shed countless tears. Her hopes of living life filled with good experiences and laughter were turning into reality. Now in her 30s, she became a loving wife and wonderful mother. Her business is doing well, and her lifestyle changed. She can now enjoy the simple things in life, like working on some of the designs for her fall collection at home while watching Korean news reruns on TV.

 

Please stay tuned here in Han News. We’ll be right back after this commercial break.

 

She peeled her eyes off the small screen and put down her glasses. “Sweetie, would you like to have some snacks?”

 

“Yes, please.” The chubby youngster was busy drawing flowers in her sketchbook.

 

The gorgeous lady proceeded to get something to eat until a recognizable melody echoed through the kitchen.

 

Never in a thousand years would she ever forget the tune of the song that paved the way for her dreams on that summer day. Fast on her feet to their living room, she was greeted with the sight of her daughter attentively watching the television. A silhouette of nine girls bowing their heads altogether, a young ballerina holding a paper airplane while dancing...  Her hand quickly grabbed the remote control and she immediately pressed the power button.

 

“Mom?”

 

“Yes, sweetie?”

 

“Why did you turn it off?”

 

“Oh...” Jessica put on an apologetic smile, internally panicking. Her eyes caught sight of her daughter’s art materials on the coffee table. “I forgot to go to the bookstore. You know, to get stuff for work... Let’s buy crayons?”

 

“But how about snacks?”

 

“We’ll drop by at the grocery too. You can get as many as you want.”

 

“Yas!” The child cheered in excitement, raising her tiny fists in the air. She will surely grab cans of her favorite potato chips, plus a set of fresh crayons. “Mommy is the best!”

 

The sudden turnout of events caught her off guard. So much for protecting her only child.

 

She was once fearless, but now, she’s afraid.

 

"And me, to my child... what should I give my child? No, I don’t want to give them my voice, because if I give them my voice, they’ll want to be a singer. They can’t become a singer."

 

“Twinkle, twinkle...”

 

“Little star, how I wonder what you are~”

 

Nursery rhymes eventually replaced hit ballads, the deafening fan chants turned into comfortable silence, and the bright lightsticks changed into luminous glow-in-the-dark stickers on the blue ceiling.

 

Life took a turn for the better when she came. Back then, she thought she was just another empty soul. She always felt like something was amiss despite the fame and wealth. It took one look into her daughter’s eyes for her to realize that she’s not alone. Gone were the days of loneliness and pain. She saved her, and in return, she would give her all to shield her from harm.

 

“Goodnight, and sweet dreams.” She planted a forehead kiss as she tucked her to bed.

 

“Dreams? Umma, we talked about future dreams at school! Seonsaengnim asked us what we want to be after telling us about different jobs. Oh, I remember some of them! Doctor, pilot, soldier, dentist, chef...”

 

The baby-faced lady fondly listened to her five-year old who seemed to talk non-stop in between yawns. “Wow! That’s pretty interesting.”

 

“Jaejin said he wanted to be my husband! I don’t like him. He is a bad boy!” A displeased scowl showed right after crossing her small arms. That preschool boy surely got into her nerves.

 

“Right!” She mirrored the child’s frown and shook her head. Kids nowadays. “So what does my baby want to be when she grows up?”

 

“Hmm... Umma, I want to be ... a singer.” The drowsy little girl managed to finish her statement before dozing off.

 

An audible sigh escaped her lips, and she could only react with a sad smile. Those words made her feel uncomfortable.

 

I want to be a singer.

 

They’re nothing alike, save for one thing. Of all traits that could be possibly inherited, her little one got something that’s rather uncalled for: a knack for music, much to her chagrin. Fate must be playing tricks again but it’s too early to tell. She pushed all those worrisome thoughts behind. After all, her daughter’s still a kid; that opinion might change once she grows older.

 

“You know what, aegiya?” Taeyeon mumbled low enough while caressing the sleeping child’s face. “Sometimes, dreams can turn into nightmares too.”