one.

cracks in his porcelain

1. 

 


 

 

if i lost myself
would you try to find me?

 

If today is any indication of what’s to come for the rest of his college life, Woojin thinks he might as well hop on the next train to Neverland.

 

Granted, it’s probably his fault to begin with. Who in their right mind gets buzzed at a college party the night before the first day of classes?

 

Oh right, him.

 

The longer he thinks about it, he concludes that if anything, the entire thing is Daehwi’s fault. Woojin blames him for convincing him to tag along—the kid sure loved his socializing. He knew it was a stupid idea, the second Daehwi mentioned ‘party’ Woojin was ready to forfeit his best friend status in return for a good night rest, but Daehwi wasn’t having any of that. With a resolved smile (that was arguably more along the lines of devious rather than a i’m doing this because you’re my friend and you need to have fun type of thing), Daehwi dragged the unenthusiastic Woojin down to one of those Greek frat houses that he could never for the life of him pronounce.

 

Woojin had an inkling that college parties were likely to be like high school parties, only amplified tenfold. And the second he stepped into the party—disturbingly swarming with people in various states of undress and unruliness— and was almost smacked in the head by a football (who in the bloody hell plays football indoors?), he turned to Daehwi and tried to force them both out the door quicker than they walked in. Except Daehwi slipped out of his grasp the second he saw Sungwoon and pushed through the crowd towards him, leaving Woojin alone at the door and regretting ever letting the little brat into his life.

 

He couldn’t even fathom why there were so many people at the party anyways. Classes started the next day, and walking in with a hangover wasn’t really Woojin’s idea of a good state to be writing notes faster than you were reading them off of the projector. Was this their version of a senior prank? Did people purposefully get faced the night before the first day of class and just not show up to piss of the professors?

 

Maybe he wasn’t one to be judging though, because come 10 in the evening, Woojin was on his sixth cup of beer and he was definitely a lightweight. He met an acquaintance from his dance studio—Taehyun, who was quite easily an intimidating person if you ever saw him dance—who had introduced him to his group of friends after Daehwi had all but ditched him after practically dragging him there against his will. Taehyun offered him a cup of beer, and his first reaction should have been ‘I have school tomorrow this is a bad idea’—but it wasn’t. Maybe he should have known better than to let Daehwi walk away knowing very well he was the most vulnerable to succumb to peer pressure.

 

He wasn’t always terrible at social situations, he might have even considered himself to be social butterfly at one point of his life. But that was middle school, and middle school wasn’t exactly the hardest place to fit in. Come high school though, everything had changed.

 

Isolation. Isolation was an intention. He didn’t want to be known in high school—popularity wasn’t his objective this time around, not after everything that happened in middle school. You’re a disappointment, his father had told him, curt and hard. It stung, but it wasn’t undeserved—even Woojin knew that. He had been called into the principal’s office one too many times that month, eighth grade was nothing short of a nightmare. He had befriended the wrong people; he didn’t even know a middle schooler could be that cruel, not until he became it himself. What was so influential about the mechanism that made him abandon the beliefs and values he was taught? Was it the power that intrigued him? The encouraging pats on the back that kept him going? Or he was just the loser that fell into that very dreadful concept of peer pressure that he only wished could pass as a good enough explanation for his troubling behavior.

 

At the very least, somewhere down the line he had managed to get his act together, all the more better that his family had moved the summer before high school started. He was given the opportunity for a fresh start, and he wasn’t going to let himself fall back into the influence of bad company. So that’s why he kept to himself for his freshman year, he couldn’t trust himself to be strong enough.

 

And then came Daehwi. And as much as Woojin wants to argue that the kid was nothing short of a headache, he was one of the most important people in his life. If it weren’t for the bubbly, persistent kid that sat next to him in his History class—a place where people really shouldn’t be that happy—he might have never made friends. Perhaps it was his fear of utter dependency, the reliance he had on people back in middle school indisputably made for a rocky beginning. No one really taught you how to make friends; there wasn’t a rule book or a guide on friendship. Elementary made it easy enough where you would simply ask people at the playground to join you, and if you were lucky enough to grow up with them the differences you had wouldn’t really matter by then. But how were you supposed to make friends in high school? There was no playground, not even a recess. There was just busy halls and awkward seatmate silence—no sure way of telling if you liked the same things enough to carry a conversation to last more than a day, that would keep you talking for the rest of the year. And then a teacher would interrupt you even if you finally gathered the courage to try.

 

So maybe he’s a little grateful for Daehwi’s personality, maybe the detentions for speaking during class were worth it in the end.  

 

But that night, he wasn’t so sure Daehwi was the greatest example of a good friend.

 

Daehwi found him by his fifth cup, though he didn’t know it was his fifth at first because Woojin thought he could get away with lying to him about how buzzed he really was. He just knew he felt lighter and he wanted to rid himself of the first day jitters that refused to leave him, it doesn't even register he's had five cups of beer on an empty stomach. The blonde quickly realized his state and left to find Youngmin—who, upon seeing his goofy grin almost kicked him in the shin—to help him deal with his mess of a friend.

 

And Youngmin, God bless his soul, managed to drag him out of the door before he could take another swig of his drink.

 

His red-haired friend drove him back to his single dorm (thank heavens he didn’t have a roommate to witness the monstrosity) and threw him ungracefully onto his bed, and Woojin doesn’t remember everything he had said but he does remember the words ‘I’m going to disown your annoying one day’.

 

Youngmin is a friend he met through Daehwi, a senior back when he was a sophomore. Woojin likes to refer to him as sort of a surrogate father, to both him and Daehwi. At first, he was skeptical when Daehwi told him he wanted to introduce him to one of his senior friends; for some reason the offer seemed to scream you’re gonna make bad life decisions again, but then again, it was Daehwi, and Woojin was sure that, despite the cynical personality that was deceptive against his innocent face, he would never willingly put himself in the vicinity of a problematic delinquent. If only he knew what kind of person Woojin used to be.

 

Sure enough, Youngmin turned out to be one of the nicest people Woojin had ever met. There was something incomprehensible about him—but he was tender, with a sense of honor. Well liked among his peers but not so much one to follow the crowd. Woojin took an immediate liking to him. Sometimes he wondered if people like him really existed, did he have that much going well for him that his optimistic nature was reasonable? Meeting him was when Woojin really understood the meaning of not judging a book by its cover. The more he spent time with him, the more he realized that Youngmin was prone to humility, regret even. Way too many times he watched the older beat himself up about his mistakes, never accepting good enough and only striving for great. It even made Woojin feel bad when he looked at himself and his disinclination to put any more effort than required. It’s not even that he didn’t do well in school, in fact he’d say he was one of the better students in his graduating year, it was just that he could never truly put his entire self into anything.

 

Not until he discovered his love for dancing. And Woojin came to realize just how big of an impact Youngmin and Daehwi had on his life and how he became the person he was. Up until then he never knew how it felt to be passionate about something. Sure, he had things he enjoyed, like gaming and basketball, but dancing opened up a whole new world for him (he tries not to think about Daehwi singing Disney songs at the top of his lungs right against his ear). Expressing himself was never an easy feat—he wasn’t good with words, and it’s not like he was any kind of artistic either. But dance was art, and he took control of the paintbrush awaiting its artist’s attention for his empty canvas. And just like that, Woojin finally felt like he’d become someone, the someone he was meant to be when he finally found it in him to find himself.

 

It was both strange and relieving to finally discover this side to himself, maybe he wasn’t going to grow up to be as big of a mess as he thought he would.

 

Fast forward to the morning after though, where the biggest headache of his entire life hits him hard enough to wake him up, albeit not soon enough, because the second he looks at his clock and reads 10:48AM he all but tumbles out of his covers as gracefully as he was thrown into them the night before (meaning not at all) and only ended up intensifying the throbbing pain.

 

Okay, so maybe he’s a bit of a mess.

 

And maybe Daehwi isn’t that great of a friend after all because a good friend would have set up an alarm for their drunk best friend knowing very well he had classes the next morning. As he sits up and crawls to the bathroom he makes a mental list of what he needs to do today:

  

  1. brush his teeth and make himself presentable
  2. google how to get rid of a hangover
  3. beat himself up over missing his 9:30 class
  4. get his across campus for his 11:15 class
  5. find daehwi and murder him
  6. maybe find taehyun too but only murder him with his eyes because he’s still 3 years older than him and a little scary

 

About twenty minutes and six glasses of water later (it wasn’t enough to get rid of the hangover but it was enough to ensure he wasn’t the ridiculous kind of dizzy), Woojin is racing across campus is his all black attire and backpack that’s a little too heavy for a run that’s supposed to get him to class yesterday. Maybe it’s the tolerance he’s built up from dance that allows him to run without falling flat on his face, at least that’s what he thinks until he reaches the door to his classroom and at the last second, trips over his untied shoelaces, sending him falling through the doorway and into the lecture room where—oh, all of his classmates seem to be seated already.

 

Nice, Woojin. That was quite possibly the best impression you could make on your first day of college.

 

He scrambles onto his feet and tries to drown out the giggles he can hear around the entire room, choosing to sit at the seat right next to the door so he could make a run for it the second class was finished. His professor walks in a beat after he sits down and he’s just grateful she wasn’t there to witness that entire thing.

 

First days usually put focus on the syllabus, most people didn’t find it important to go to class when that’s assumedly the only thing planned for the class, but Woojin liked knowing what he was supposed to be doing ahead of time. He takes his planner out immediately and jots down the expected due dates for all of his papers and assignments, making note of the bonus marks given for signing up for a few studies conducted by older students.

 

His professor goes over a few slides of notes, and then class is dismissed early. Woojin prides himself on being smart enough to schedule only one class on Mondays. Falling into another one isn’t exactly his plan and he only hopes that the people who saw him in psychology today didn’t run off to tell their friends about the loser who tripped and fell into class this morning.

 

Woojin knows that Daehwi has one morning class on Mondays, so he knows that Daehwi must be free right now. And it’s most likely that he’s in the main building, roaming the food court in search of his beloved sushi. It doesn’t take long to find him in line at the sushi place, and when he does, he puts on the most annoyed face he can make and trudges up to the smiling boy.

 

“Oh, Woojin!” The boy notices him, waving him over without giving much thought to the murderous glare he’s on the receiving end of, “Come eat lunch with me!”

 

“How dare you.”

 

Daehwi frowns, “How dare I what?”

 

Woojin flails his arms angrily in reference to his current state, which he realizes is worse than he thought because he looks down and sees one grey sock and one black sock peeking out through his shoes. “Everything!”

 

Daehwi puffs out his cheeks and lowers his eyes, “You’re not being very specific..”

 

“None of this would have happened if you didn’t drag me to that stupid party last night! Then you think it’s okay for you to not set an alarm for me, knowing I’d probably never wake up without one? You’re lucky I had a headache bad enough to wake me up this morning or you’d be even more dead to me.”

 

“Whoa!” Daehwi furrows his eyebrows and raises his hands up defensively, “First of all, you can’t lie to me I know you had fun. And second, I did set an alarm for you, about seven actually. Did you sleep through all of them?”

 

Woojin relaxes his clenched jaw for a moment and fishes his phone from his pocket, going into his clock app to find that, indeed, Daehwi had set up seven different alarms for him, all labelled ‘wake up you ugly drunken mess!!!’

 

The dancer looks up at Daehwi, who crosses his arms and huffs, looking away with a pout. Woojin moves to sling an arm around the upset boy, lightly shaking him and giving him a smile. “Okay, I’m sorry for doubting you.”

 

The blonde continues to ignore him and Woojin shakes him even more, “I’ll make it up to you by paying for your lunch today~”

 

Daehwi raises a brow slightly, suspicious, “Really?”

 

“Nope, but you can pay for mine!” Woojin says and leans over to the counter, grabbing a dynamite roll and placing it on top of Daehwi’s chicken teriyaki roll before walking away.

 

He can hear Daehwi yell out behind him, “I hate you, Park Woojin!”

 

 


 

 

 

The frown on his face may soon become permanently etched to him, Woojin thinks, as he exits the bookstore after purchasing the last of his textbooks needed for this semester alone. Textbook prices were absolutely ridiculous, and Woojin can admit to having second thoughts about buying them out of baseless confidence in himself to at least get a C without them, but then he realizes that wouldn’t sit too well with his parents. Anything less than a B was sure to inflame an hour long lecture that he’d probably zone himself out of after a good three minutes.

 

Woojin tosses the bag of books (or more accurately, heaves them up with a loud grunt because good lord, those things were heavy) onto his armchair and falls face first onto his bed. At some point in his half-nap he gets to thinking that maybe there’s a first day curse following him everywhere he goes. Maybe this is his punishment for the way he acted back in eighth grade, doomed to an eternity of embarrassing first days. It made sense now that he thinks about it. The first day of his freshman year in high school, he tripped up the stairs where possibly everyone in the school happened to be using at that moment, and the year after that, his foot had managed to get entangled in a bunch of cords and he was sent flying to the ground along with a cart of books, all in the quiet of a library. And it’s all the more reason he hates himself for drinking last night, he knew something like this was going to happen—it always did.

 

The vibration of his phone ends his recollection of embarrassing memories and Woojin rolls over with groan, grabbing his phone while punching at the sudden cramp in his left leg.

 

(3:47) youngmin : yo yo what up son

 

(3:48) woojin : don’t do that

 

(3:48) youngmin : where are u?

 

(3:48) woojin : in my room, why?

 

(3:49) youngmin : im coming to pick u up in like 15 mins

 

(3:49) youngmin : be ready!!

 

(3:49) woojin : are you gonna tell me where we’re going

 

(3:50) youngmin : daehwi and donghyun want to spend our last day of freedom together

 

(3:51) youngmin : u don’t exactly have a say in this so u better be waiting at the door when i get there

 

(3:52) woojin : ughhhhhhhh h h h

 

(3:52) woojin : fine

 

(3:53) youngmin : good boy

 

(3:54) woojin : bINCH

 

(3:54) woojin : that sounds weird,,, and

 

(3:54) woojin : don’t

 

(3:55) youngmin : wym im like ur dad wtf i can’t believe u

 

(3:55) youngmin : get ur head out of the gutter and get dressed

 

(3:55) woojin : i am dressed :/

 

(3:56) youngmin : then be quiet

 

(3:56) woojin : aren’t u supposed to be driving :////

 

(3:57) youngmin : sTOP DISTRACTING ME



(3:57) youngmin : i’m leaving now

 

 

There isn’t really much you can do at a mall when your budget’s first priority is supposed to be keeping you fed for the school year, but Woojin figures today is more about the company than it is the activity. The group of four walk around the mall leisurely, mostly following Daehwi around to the stores he usually found his clothes in—Donghyun liked to spoil him.

 

If Youngmin was their surrogate father, then by default, Donghyun was their mother—and he acted like it too. Youngmin and Donghyun had finally gotten together after Donghyun entered college. It was a relief to both Woojin and Daehwi, having had to watch Youngmin pine over the boy for years before he finally gathered the courage to ask him out. Woojin thinks that Daehwi takes after Youngmin in terms of hesitancy and stubbornness (the latter Woojin may also be too—he’s just too stubborn to admit it.)

 

The one store that Daehwi seems to be avoiding today is some clothing store called Zara, right next to the game store that Woojin dragged them into. And for one main reason, being that of a certain Bae Jinyoung.

 

Woojin learned of Daehwi’s (not so) little crush on the seemingly brooding boy back in junior year. He didn’t have to ask him; he didn't even have to force it out of him. One look at the googly eyes the blonde made in the few seconds Jinyoung crossed their path and Woojin was sure he had solid blackmail material, though Donghyun would never let him use it against the boy.

 

The group walks into the store (after much resistance from Daehwi, who was already red in the face just from looking at the outside of the store) and Daehwi immediately spots Jinyoung folding clothes nearby. Woojin snickers as Daehwi runs to hide behind a rack of clothes, finding a sudden interest in floral dresses.

 

“Why don’t you go say hi to him?” Youngmin questions from Daehwi’s side, startling him and almost causing him to knock over the entire rack.

 

“Are you mad? Why would I do that?!”

 

“It’s just a hi,” Woojin pipes up, “One word, I’m pretty sure even you couldn’t mess that up.”

 

The blonde all but glares at his friends, despite their good intentions, and walks further into the store towards the jackets and away from Jinyoung. “You’d be surprised..”

 

One of them manages to buy something (Youngmin adds on to his growing collection of plaid shirts amidst Donghyun’s protests) and Daehwi is relieved that they can finally leave the store, that is until Woojin moves surreptitiously behind the younger boy and nudges him into Jinyoung. The blonde manages to catch himself before the force can send both of them falling to the floor and Woojin curses the fact that he didn’t push him hard enough.

 

“O-oh my god! I-I’m so sorry!” Daehwi covers his mouth with the ends of his sleeves and stares wide-eyed at the boy in front of him.

 

“Oh no don’t worry about it, I’m fine.” Jinyoung says with a small smile that Woojin thinks probably short circuits Daehwi’s brain because his mouth moves to speak but words don’t come out. “Um, Daehwi, right?”

 

“Y-yeah.” He manages to squeak out, eyes now burning holes into the ground.

 

“We went to the same high school, I’m Jinyoung.” The blonde simply nods, probably for fear of how frequently he could manage to stutter through sentences even less than three words. “Well, I’ll see you around I guess?”

 

“Mhm, see you!” The blonde spins on his heel and grabs onto Donghyun’s arm, scurrying them out of the store and letting out a long exhale when they’re far enough away that Jinyoung can’t see how red he is.  

 

“I- didn’t know you could stutter so many times through that many words.” Donghyun pats Daehwi’s back comfortingly, quietly snapping at the other two laughing on the side.

 

They spend more time on it over dinner at a burger joint, much to Daehwi’s agitation. Donghyun throws a number of questions at him; Was that the first time he talked to him? How does he know his name? They pester him until he finally answers their questions.

 

“Yes, that was technically the first time we’ve talked..” Daehwi pouts, “He said like four words to me at most during high school, and those words were probably ‘excuse me’ and ‘hey Daehwi’.”

 

Woojin snorts, “You remember the exact four words he’s said to you throughout high school?”

 

“No!” The blonde exclaims, stabbing at his cheese fries, “Well, maybe..”

 

“What else do you remember?” Donghyun asks between bites, “Did anything else happen that didn’t require words?”

 

Daehwi puffs his cheeks out and rests his chin in his hands, eyes looking up to the ceiling to recall something, “Oh! So one time, me and Woojin had to pick up something from the Art class and that class happened to be the class Jinyoung was in and like what the heck is my luck? Anyways, I couldn’t look at him but he was at the teacher’s desk right beside me and I sort of felt his eyes on me but I didn’t wanna be delusional so I ignored it.” He stuffs a fry into his mouth before continuing, “So then, I tried to focus on asking Mr. Kim for the hot glue gun, right? But my face was so red I don’t even think I was breathing? And I was just praying for him to hurry up so I could get out of there but then Jinyoung goes “hey Daehwi” and I had to turn and wave like I wasn’t an actual fricking tomato because of him and uGH-“

 

The blonde buries his face in his hands, his present state much like the one he was describing in his story.

 

“Are you gonna continue?” Youngmin asks, amused.

 

Daehwi squeals into his hands before snapping his head up and opening his mouth to speak again, “So he says hey right? And I just give him a small wave before basically running out of the classroom and leaving Woojin to pick up the glue gun from Mr. Kim because I thought I was gonna pass out if I stayed there any longer. And then! Woojin has the audacity to make fun of even more by telling me how he was observing Jinyoung and that he was definitely staring at me and he stuttered when he said hi. Like, excuse me? There is no lying in this friendship!”

 

“I wasn’t lying!” Woojin retaliates, and it's the truth. He had definitely seen the way Jinyoung looked at Daehwi that time they visited his class, but it’s his choice whether or not to believe him, and Daehwi didn’t trust him with anything he said about Jinyoung’s possible mutual attraction to him. Daehwi glares at him distrustfully.

 

“You know, I think you might be giving off the wrong impression. You barely waste more than five words on him, he probably thinks you hate him or something.” Daehwi gasps when Youngmin finishes, head falling back into his hands and fake-sobbing.

 

Donghyun sighs and hugs the younger, “Hey, you know what would make you feel better? Karaoke!”

 

“Ooh, let’s go! It’s been a while since we’ve gone to one.” Youngmin pipes up, trying to lighten the mood that he brought down in the first place.

 

So that’s how the group find themselves cramped together on a couch in a karaoke room, watching as the previously sullen Daehwi sings cheerily to Twice songs, dance and all. Daehwi drags Woojin out to dance with him and the two older boys watch on as the younger ones continue to dance around enthusiastically, laughing especially when Woojin turns on ‘Only One’ and channels his inner BoA.

 

Later into their session, Donghyun chooses a ballad, and the rest of the group sway along to his soothing voice. It takes Youngmin back to when he was pining over Donghyun and wondering if he could ever have it in him to confess.

 

Youngmin spent most of his free time in his first year in college busying himself erasing and re-writing lyrics, humming along and trying to fit them into each chord he played on his second-hand guitar that he wasn’t too familiar with yet. The instrument was relatively new to him, but music, on the other hand, was not. Youngmin always had a love for rapping; music had surrounded him all of his life, and it was everywhere he went; it wasn’t that hard to fall in love with it. His father had been part of a band when he was younger, sometimes he thinks it was in his blood to become a musician. The first time he ever saw his cousin perform on stage, he knew then that this was what he wanted to do. There was no better feeling than when he performed for his family for the first time and was praised for his talent.

 

No matter how much he worked on his songs, he could never be fully satisfied with any of them. Even he knew at times he was being too hard on himself, but his parents believe in him; they allowed him to pursue it simply because he loved it, and he knew that with their blessing he could never afford to disappoint them. He was able to ease up on himself for a few months after he was accepted into the music program at his college, but that soon became even more of a reason to push himself harder. Good was never good enough for Youngmin, he strived for great, amazing, genius.

 

But never simply good.

 

When he was younger, the red head had found it challenging to bring himself to talk to people, but performing was different. Whenever he performed for others, his fears would completely dissipate. Maybe that's what sparked his decision to pursue music even further; It allowed him to be on stage and rid himself of his fear of people for even a few minutes to show them that he was doing something he loved, and that he was kind of good at it. And eventually the way he felt on stage translated to how he held himself off of it, confident and influential. Really, it was music that had shaped him into the person he was today.

 

But he wasn’t always confident on stage. As he grew up, the stages started to become bigger, people were more talented, and audiences were more judgemental. As his experience broadened, so did peoples’ expectations of him. They piled on until he was neck deep in worry. What if he was losing his touch? Was he getting too predictable? Were his lyrics not clever enough?

 

He was soon drowning in uneasiness, desperately looking for something new he could add to his performances. That’s why he found himself purchasing a second-hand guitar, with only little experience in playing one. He wasn’t going to give up though, that was never an option for him. So he stuck with it and decided that his performance at the talent night at a nearby café for one of his classes was going to be something completely new, an acoustic one.

 

Youngmin wasn’t the best singer, that was a well-known fact, but he did well enough to carry a tune without falling flat or rising sharp too much. This was his first song that required more than a verse of singing, which made him extra nervous because not only did he plan to (badly) play the guitar for his song, he also had to sing for people. Every nearing day of the performance had Youngmin feeling sick to the stomach and ready to bail. But it’s not like he could even if he wanted to, this was an assignment for marks, and it was college.

 

So yeah, bailing definitely wasn't an option.

 

The day before the performance had him feeling even worse, if that were possible. He had woken up from a dream that was all too vivid and realistic that it might have actually ended up happening. He pictured himself onstage on talent night, dozens of eyes settled on him and waiting for him to start his song. He strummed his guitar and when he opened his mouth to sing, his voice wouldn’t come out.

 

Youngmin never had to deal with stage fright before, so what was it about this performance that made it so terrifying?

 

The red-haired boy made a trip to his old high school for the day, in hopes of talking to his music teacher for advice and criticism. She had told him that the song was good, but Youngmin knew she was probably just being nice. He didn’t really need nice, he needed the truth.

 

Sighing, he continued to work on his strumming for the duration of the two periods that he was given to work in the empty choir room. What he didn’t expect, was for his long time crush, Kim Donghyun, to barge into the room unannounced. Youngmin had jumped in surprise, almost dropping his guitar. Donghyun instinctively moved to catch it, awkwardly pulling back when Youngmin managed to do it himself.

 

“Sorry, I was told by Ms. Jung that someone in here looked like he was struggling a bit with his guitar playing and um-“ Donghyun raises his hand with a smile, “I’m sort of a guitar player.”

 

Oh.

 

“So what is it you’re having a problem with?” The brunette moved closer, sitting in a seat next to him and Youngmin didn’t think he’d ever been this close to his crush.

 

“Actually, my problem is mostly not being able to strum and sing at the same time? Like I’m not very good at multitasking so the rhythm is kind of off. It gets slow at times and then it speeds up..” Youngmin trailed off, hoping Donghyun would catch on to what he was trying to say before he had the chance to go off on a tangent out of anxiousness.

 

Donghyun nodded thoughtfully, “Um, would you like to play it for me first? Without the lyrics just so I can get a feel for the song.”

 

Youngmin adjusted himself and with shaky hands, started to play his song. He was thankful that Donghyun had asked him to do it without singing because he didn’t think he’d be able to get through it without a voice crack or two. He stopped after the first chorus, and Donghyun reached his hands out.

 

“Okay, I’m gonna try to play it first so you can fit your lyrics to the song and get a feel for the rhythm and tempo you’re trying to go for.”

 

“Oh, do you need-“

 

“It’s fine. It’s not too dynamic or difficult chord-wise so I managed to get down the basic pattern easily.” Donghyun said, adding further when he saw the look on Youngmin’s face, “Not that it wasn’t good or anything! It’s really nice, especially for a beginner.”

 

Youngmin nodded but all he could really think about at the moment was the fact that he had to sing in front of Donghyun. He had to sing the song he wrote arguably with Donghyun in mind, for Donghyun. At that very moment. For real.

 

He didn’t even have time to take the amount of deep breaths he needed because Donghyun had already started to play. He entered the song a beat late and tripped over the first word but Donghyun gave him an encouraging smile that was somehow able to give him strength rather than throw him off. With closed eyes and a steady growing voice, he started to find his confidence again. They smiled at each other as the last chord of the chorus rung throughout the room, dissolving into the air, and maybe taking their unfamiliarity with it.

 

“The song is really good so far.” Donghyun reassured him with his seemingly everlasting angelic smile, that was sure to echo in his mind for the days, maybe months to come.

 

Donghyun continued to help him with his guitar skills, and Youngmin went crazy whenever Donghyun’s fingers guided his whenever he was holding a chord wrong. They were so distracted that they didn’t even realize the flood of students coming into the room for their next period class.

 

“So, maybe I’ll come watch you tomorrow?” Donghyun started softly, “You know, to make sure my tutoring was worth it.”

 

Youngmin smiled, looking at the ground in case the ends of his lips curled too much that he might have been considered creepy, “Yeah, it’d be nice to have a fan in the audience.”

 

Talent night had come soon enough and as much as Youngmin wanted to think he was ready for it, the second he walked into the café he knew he wasn’t. His hands felt clammy against his bouncing legs, heart in his mouth as he was called onto the stage. He made his way to the front with heavy steps, breathing become uneven as he neared closer to the stage. Right at the front, he saw Donghyun sitting at a table, cheering him on. Youngmin figured Donghyun must have seen the sheer terror in his eyes because he stood up and put a hand to his shoulder, giving him words of encouragement and two thumbs up. Youngmin didn’t smile back, he couldn’t. All he could think about was messing up in front of his professor and classmates, and even worse, Donghyun.

 

“You’ll do fine!”

 

Youngmin shook his head, “I really don’t think I can do this. I’m gonna mess up, I’m gonna mess up the strumming and then it’s going to mess up the song and-“

 

“Hey,” Donghyun squeezed his shoulder, “Would it make you feel better if I played the guitar for you?”

 

Youngmin finally made eye contact with the boy, “You’d do that?”

 

Donghyun shrugged, “Of course, If you’re really not confident in doing it yourself. I did help you yesterday so I remember the chords and the song pretty well. Are you up for it?”

 

The older nodded slowly, still hesitant about having to make Donghyun do this for him but this was, after all, for a class he needed to do well in.

 

Donghyun pulled up a stool next to Youngmin, settling down and letting Youngmin take the amount of deep breaths he needed this time (it was seven to be exact). Donghyun waited for his cue, but the older didn’t seem to have been calmed down by his usual seven deep breaths. His eyes were still closed and he couldn’t bring himself to open them. Youngmin was sure that was going to be the start of his downfall, and he’d soon have to switch his majors after failing miserably at the one thing he was supposed to be good at.

 

But then he heard Donghyun start to play; he opened his eyes in a panic—he hadn’t given the signal and he still wasn’t ready for anything. But once Donghyun reached the part where Youngmin was supposed to come in, Donghyun’s voice came out instead.

 

It took him a while to realize, but after the dizziness started to leave him, his ears were fully focused on Donghyun’s voice, and he had never been more surprised. He hadn’t known what to expect when Donghyun started playing without his cue, but he never expected that. The brunette was actually singing his song. His song. He knew every single word of the first verse, and every line was sung perfectly. But the fact that he knew the lyrics wasn’t even half as fascinating as the voice singing them. He was absolutely breathtaking. He watched as the younger sang with emotion etched across his face, as if he was telling his life story. But he wasn’t, he was telling Youngmin’s story, and he was telling it better than Youngmin ever could have.

 

By the time he reached the pre-chorus, Youngmin gained enough courage to jump in, and Donghyun saw that with a nod of understanding, as he moved effortlessly into his falsetto to continue to harmonize with the older. Together they told the story, eyes never leaving each other. And Youngmin finally felt like himself when he reached the rap section, smoothly flowing through the verse. They ended the song together, though they don’t bother paying attention to the audience’s loudest applause of the night, all he could do was look at Donghyun with the most thankful look he could give because words had failed him again.

 

The two walked off stage as the last performers of the night and Donghyun turned to him with a smile. “You did great up there, well, we did, I guess.” His hand came up to the back of his neck and he grinned shyly.

 

“Thank you.” Is all Youngmin could bring himself to say at the moment, a silence falling over them after Donghyun nodded.

 

“Well, I should probably get going now. I’ll see you around, maybe.” Donghyun turned to leave but Youngmin blurted out the only thing he mind could come up with.

 

“Date!” The younger turned back with a raised eyebrow, something akin to amusement in his eyes but Youngmin could only think about how embarrassing he was.

 

“Um, that didn’t come out in a sentence like it was supposed to..” Donghyun laughed at that and Youngmin wondered if that was going to be the end of his yearlong crush. The younger stepped towards him with a small smile.

 

“I’ll give you a chance to try that again.” Youngmin swallowed, heart loud in his ears.

 

“Would you.. like to go on a date with me sometime?”

 

And that’s how Youngmin was able to own up to his feelings for the cute, guitar-playing, angelic smiling boy that was Kim Donghyun.

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

treat me like a game
and I’ll show you how it’s played

 

 

A lot of things come to mind when you ask someone about Park Jihoon. They’ll tell you he’s hot, or that he was one of the most well-known people at his high school. But the one most common thing you’ll hear from anyone, is that he’s a good hookup.

 

No one would have ever thought that Jihoon would grow up to be the way he was. His eyes, once so vibrant they filled the world with warmth, were now dim and tired, worn from years of bad decisions that he would never admit were tearing him apart, even if he could feel every little piece of him falling to the ground, slowly and wistfully.

 

If it’s seen in his eyes, he’d never let it shown on his face. His teeth-baring smile feels inviting, maybe that’s why it’s so easy to fall for him. Apple cheeks and bee-stung lips, the things he could make people do for him is amusing. Maybe some could call him too easy in a particular sense, but he’d just say that everyone else was too. Life had become a game to him, after he had turned the tables around and stopped being the one played.

 

He knows he’s hated more than he’s loved, and sometimes it makes him feel all the more powerful. Is it wrong to relish in the envy, the spite, the jealousy?

 

At one point he had stopped feeling vengeful for the things he had been put through; life had become so numb. And maybe’s that’s why he tries so hard to search for fun. And where else could he find that but right beside him in Kim Donghan, the owner who most (but not all) of Jihoon’s secrets are privy to. No one had ever truly stuck next to him like Donghan did, and no one had ever been so accepting. Jihoon thinks that kind of respect is hard to come by, but it’s also meant to be earned. It’s somewhat perplexing, that kid’s loyalty. Though not even he could uncover the pain etched deep into the surface.

 

Things like happiness and hopefulness are still so foreign to him. It had always been an emptiness that he could never quite fill. That’s a part of him that he’d never show to people, not these ones, not now, and maybe not ever. This is an entirely different chapter of his life, one his past could never infringe upon.

 

At least that’s what he tells himself, until he’s huddled in his blankets at night and one tear breaks free, followed by an unbroken stream.

 

“Park Jihoon!” A voice yells from across the quad, the owner racing towards Jihoon, “How was the party last night?”

 

“I left early with someone on my arm, someone with really nice arms if I do say so myself.” Jihoon winks haughtily and continues walking when Donghan catches up by his side.

 

“Where’d you end up going?”

 

“Back to his dorm,” the brunette says casually, “Thank God it was on the second floor, you know how impatient I am.”

 

Donghan snorts, “Yeah, the last time someone took you home you were in an elevator up until the tenth floor and practically seething.”

 

“Okay so I’m a little hot-tempered-“

 

“Yeah,” the raven-haired boy scoffs next to him, “a little.” He darts out of the way when a hand tries to pinch his arm. Jihoon rolls his eyes but doesn’t waste any more effort in fighting him. “So has arm candy tried to call you after last night yet?”

 

“Twice this morning, and one just before you showed up.”

 

“Infatuated and or genuine?”

 

Jihoon merely shrugs, “Who knows? Probably both.”

 

“Okay but I doubt he could be genuine after only a night with you.”

 

“Oh, Donghan,” The brunette places a hand on the other’s shoulder, “It’s okay. You can admit you’re jealous of what a catch I am.”

 

Donghan looks past him and smirks, “Is that lover boy at one o’clock coming up from behind us?”

 

Jihoon tosses a glance behind him and snaps his head back quickly, ushering Donghan forward and quickening his steps, “Walk away, walk away!”

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

Two days of college and Woojin is ready to set himself on fire. Who has this much homework after two days? Did professors really have that much faith in students’ abilities? Because he knows he wouldn’t.

 

He rushes to the bathroom after his first period on Tuesday to splash his face with water, hoping it will wake him up in time for his next class. Falling asleep in anatomy probably wasn’t the best idea, considering he now had no choice but to make friends in that class just so he could re-write the notes that he missed.

 

Looking at his reflection, he notices writing on the mirror:

 

src: winkly, message for a good time ;)

 

The abbreviation is familiar, and he remembers earlier in the week when Daehwi had introduced the app to him.

 

“SoraChat?”

 

“Yeah, it’s like an anonymous texting app. You should try it! Make some online friends to discuss that show you always talk to me about.” Woojin leaned in as Daehwi showed him the app from his phone.

 

“So it requires your number?”

 

“Nope,” Daehwi fingers were back to tapping on his phone, “You just sign up with your e-mail and then they give you categories in which you can find people who share the same interests as you.”

 

“And what do you use it for?”

 

“I made friends who are Twice fans too, since you don’t seem to appreciate it whenever I gush about them.” Daehwi pouted, glaring daggers into him before resuming his typing. “I can make you one right now.”

 

“Knock yourself out.” Woojin says offhandedly, tossing his phone over to the blonde.

 

Since then he did manage to find one person to talk to, but they didn’t reply to his message after the second day. He isn’t that great at talking to strangers.

 

Woojin looks at the message on the mirror again, frowning when he thinks that it might have been an joke and this person probably didn’t know it was even on there. He takes out his own sharpie and scribbles it out, but not before noting the ID down so he could notify the person about it.

 

 

chamsaes : hey, just letting you know that your id was written on a bathroom mirror at school and I scribbled it out for you ^^

 

 

He slips his phone back into his pocket and leaves for his next class.

 

 

 

Math was never his cup of tea, but Woojin could admit he isn’t completely terrible at it. So when Daehwi barges his way into his room asking for help on his statistics homework, he’s easily able to provide the information he needs. 

 

He’s too absorbed in figuring out the meaning of one question that he doesn’t hear the chime from his phone.

 

“Who’s that?” Daehwi questions, and Woojin finally notices and reaches for his phone.

 

 

winkly: oh, thanks! although u might have prevented me from meeting some cute people ;)

 

 

Woojin stares down at his screen, almost forgetting why he had messaged the person in the first place. Daehwi notices his confusion and moves beside him to check his screen.

 

“Who’s winkly?” Daehwi hits him in the arm, “You made a new friend at school and didn’t tell me?”

 

Woojin winces, rubbing at the spot the younger had hit, “No, I don’t know them. I just saw their src on the mirror and thought someone had put it there as a joke so I scribbled it out.”

 

“Huh,” Daehwi muses as he scoots back over to his side of the bed. “That was uncharacteristically nice of you.”

 

Woojin narrows his eyes at the blonde, “Uncharacteristically?”

 

“We’re not gonna sit here and act like you’re a saint, Woojin.”

 

“Yeah but I’m not that bad of a person!”

 

“Uh huh.” Daehwi buries his head back into his notes and Woojin scowls at him before turning back to his phone screen.

 

chamsaes : oops, sorry, I didn’t know if you were okay with it or not so???

 

winkly : nah it’s fine, but I’d be okay if you kept talking to me :)

 

 

Woojin almost chokes on air, eyes darting awkwardly when Daehwi looks up at him with a raised brow. “You good?”

 

“Yep,” He says quickly, “Go do your work!”

 

Alright!” Daehwi scrunches his nose at the sudden snappy tone but looks back down at his textbook.

 

 

chamsaes : I’m not exactly the most interesting person to talk to,, um

 

winkly : I’m sure ur great

 

chamsaes : well that's up to you to decide I guess

 

winkly : does that mean you’ll keep this convo going?

 

chamsaes : maybe?? I’ll try

 

winkly : good ;) so what year are u?

 

chamsaes : first year, you?

 

winkly : ooh same here, maybe ur in one of my classes

 

winkly : I’m not telling u who I am just yet tho

 

chamsaes : well that's a little sketchy

 

chamsaes : what if you’re just trying to catfish as a student

 

chamsaes : am I gonna end up knocked out in the back of ur car

 

winkly : well im not a kidnapper

 

winkly : but if u were in the back of my car we might end up doing smth muuuch more interesting

 

 

The red rushes to Woojin’s face, his face feels hot to the touch. Why is this person so shamelessly flirty? He could be flirting with an old man for all they know.

 

 

chamsaes : i-- what

 

chamsaes: is that supposed to mean

 

winkly : aw ur not used innuendos, that's cute

 

chamsaes : I’ll have you know I understood that very well

 

winkly : then why’d u ask?

 

chamsaes : ….

 

chamsaes : listen,,

 

chamsaes : I just wasn’t expecting that ok

 

winkly : I’ll tone it down if ur weirded out

 

chamsaes : nah talk however you want

 

chamsaes : wait no

 

chamsaes : maybe censor yourself if its gets too uh

 

chamsaes : rated

 

winkly : okay!! ur so innocent :))

 

chamsaes : I am Not

 

winkly : I have somewhere to be but let’s talk later okay?

 

chamsaes : sure

 

 

“Woojin!” A voice lifts his eyes from his phone and a pouty Daehwi is waving his hands in front of his face. “Are you even listening to me?”

 

“Sorry, what?” Daehwi groans and explains his problem again. Woojin’s mind is half focused on Daehwi and half focused on the mysterious but intriguing person on the other side of that chat. They’re someone at this school, possibly even in one of his classes. It leaves him with an aching curiosity to know more.

 

 

 

 

Saturday night is thankfully calm and uneventful, since Woojin had managed to finish all of his readings and assignments the night before and the morning of. Daehwi had more piled on him, and since he’s more of a slow worker (and likely to get distracted from his numerous group chats on sorachat), he’s been stuck in his room the entire day, even spending half an hour whining to Woojin over the phone about how hard it was being a science student—that Woojin could agree to.

 

He also had his own distraction going on, and though he didn’t let it distract him completely from his work, it did help him relieve some stress. Later into the previous night while he was doing his history readings, the stranger had messaged him again. He was half relieved, due to his ever growing hate for the dry subject (he had to force himself through it for his humanities requirement). The stranger, or he thinks that he could now refer to him as a friend, had provided him with multiple spurts of laughter in between pages.

 

 

winkly : hi again mysterious person (:

 

chamsaes : hey, whats up?

 

winkly : well I was thinking that talking to u would probably be more interesting than doing my environmental studies homework so here I am procrastinating

 

chamsaes : oh environmental studies,, fun

 

winkly : I can literally hear the sarcasm

 

winkly : so what r u doing?

 

chamsaes :  just doing some history readings

 

winkly : ew

 

winkly : I guess I messaged u at the right time hey

 

chamsaes : I mean im not a procrastinator like you but I can afford to check your messages every few pages

 

winkly : wow im not ur first priority );

 

winkly : lol jk we just met (barely I still dk what u look like) that's weird

 

chamsaes : lol you wouldn’t want to see my face

 

winkly : why not??

 

winkly ; I bet it's a cute face ;))

 

chamsaes : wow you really do wink a lot

 

winkly : is that going to be a problem mr. chamsae?

 

chamsaes : not really, I think, im just not used to it

 

winkly : oh, well get used to it ;))))

 

chamsaes : I should have a trademark thing too then

 

winkly : ok well I gotta know more about u

 

winkly : we’re friends after all right?

 

chamsaes : yeah I guess

 

chamsaes : what do you wanna know?

 

winkly : what r ur hobbies?

 

chamsaes : um, I dance?

 

winkly : OMG

 

winkly : u just got more attractive—

 

chamsaes : but you don’t even know what I look like

 

winkly : ok well u as a person minus ur looks just got more attractive

 

winkly : p.s if u turn out to be ugly im gonna be super disappointed

 

chamsaes : oh man i should probably cancel this friendship right now

 

winkly : nO I was kidding don't leave )):<

 

chamsaes : fine I won’t leave

 

chamsaes : didn’t pin you as the clingy type

 

winkly : wHOA I AM NOT CLINGY

 

chamsaes : if you say so

 

winkly : ,, anyways maybe ur trademark thing could be like an action??

 

winkly : like *finger guns* or something

 

chamsaes : i’m--

 

chamsaes : not doing that

 

winkly : alright how about uhhh

 

winkly : *jazz hands*

 

chamsaes : ….

 

chamsaes : you’re messing with me aren’t you

 

winkly : just a little

 

winkly : ok I give up im not very good at this u can just do without one

 

chamsaes : you barely even tried

 

winkly : wow smh how ungrateful

 

winkly : I gave u 2 suggestions but u just shot them down

 

chamsaes : alright alright im sorry *finger guns*

 

winkly : ok I take it back that's definitely weird

 

chamsaes : idk I think I might start to like it *jazz hands*

 

winkly : I regret

 

winkly : everything

 

 

 

 

Woojin continued to talk with winkly up until the present time, and he was starting to take a liking into his new internet friend. They were like a breath of fresh air—witty, sarcastic, very flirty at times, but overall fun for him to talk to. Woojin starts to realize why Daehwi has so much fun making friends on here, it’s amazing how comfortable he already feels when he talks to winkly—if their first meeting had been in real life he’s not sure winkly would have liked him all that much. As charming as he tried to be on the internet, none of that translated to real life. The most he could contribute to a conversation face to face would probably be long moments of awkward silence and a “so..” every now and then in hopes that the other person would do a much better job at deciding what to talk about.

 

It’s probably why he’s never had a date in his life. He likes to think that he’s okay with it, but whenever he sees Youngmin and Donghyun, he wonders if he could ever take care of someone the way Youngmin took care of Donghyun. He wonders if he could ever like someone the way Daehwi liked Jinyoung. Sometimes he worries that his dreadful first day curse would somehow manage to ruin things like first dates, and first kisses, and a whole bunch of other firsts.   

 

Shaking away the thoughts of dating, he makes his way down to a diner he frequented even back when he was in high school, after he’s hit with a sudden craving for one of their burgers. He had texted Youngmin, asking if he wanted to go for dinner with him, but the older had already planned a night out with Donghyun, and thus, he was left to eat alone.

 

The familiar bell chimes as he opens the door to the diner; one of the workers behind the counter, Seongwoo, waves to him upon seeing him enter. He’s been here enough times that the second Seongwoo sees him walk in, he calls out his usual order to the kitchen. Woojin smiles as a thanks and makes his way to one of the highchairs.

 

What he doesn’t expect to see, in this town, in this restaurant, sitting in that chair right in front of him, is a familiar, but now grown up (and way, way more attractive than he remembers) brunette, who’s matching his look of utmost surprise.

 

 

 

 

 

Saturdays always meant parties, so when Jihoon ends up sitting alone that night at the highchairs in a diner nearby his school, he’s evidently drowning in boredom (and waiting to be drowning in the milkshake he ordered like half an hour ago.)

 

His bitterness only grows stronger when Donghan texts him saying he can’t meet up because of another friend’s emergency. Yeah well he was dangerously on the brink of poking his eyes out with a fork.

 

It’s not that Jihoon doesn’t have any friends besides Donghan, it’s more so the fact that he isn’t really up for spending any one-on-one time with anyone else in his contact list. He doesn’t think he could spend much time with someone else outside of school or parties without feeling awfully fake. As much as people think he’s an open book for being so well known for his sleeping around, no one besides Donghan knows enough about him to be considered an actual friend. Trusting too many people with his secrets seems like a recipe for disaster to Jihoon. And after all, he’s always enjoyed mystery.

 

He looks over the rest of the diner, which was always buzzing with excitement. Families out having dinner, and friends meeting up to get their minds off of school. It’s kind of nice for the few seconds he thinks about it, until he realizes he’s all alone and kicks at the bottom of the counter. But at least his milkshake is here now, along with a small ‘sorry for the wait’ note left by the boy behind the counter giving him a small grin.

 

The brunette mixes his drink as he zones out in deep thought, mind flooding with high school memories, back when school work wasn’t this demanding, back when he felt like he had more than enough time to breathe. His memory recalling is cut short, however, by the boy who moves to sit a few chairs down from him.

 

Jihoon turns to his side, eyes widening as he takes in the sight of the tanned, raven-haired boy in front of him. He’s familiar, way too familiar, though taller than he remembers but he could recognize his face anywhere.

 

“Jihoon..” The boy breathes shakily, seeming equally taken aback. Jihoon starts to feel dizzy, every memory he tried so hard to push back comes flooding into his mind. His calm demeanor slowly changes as his face contorts in anger, eyes flashing and nostrils flaring. He feels his fists instinctively clench up and his jaw tighten.

 

“Park Woojin.” He bites out, venom dripping from his voice. Before anything else can come out of Woojin’s mouth, Jihoon’s lips curl into a subtle, menacing smirk. “Normally when I see someone after a long time I’d say it’s nice to see you again, but I’d rather you fall into the pits of hell.”

 

 


 

 

 

A/N: 

can you tell i got lazy near the end lmao anyways im sorry that there wasn't as much 2park as you might have wanted in this chapter, it was mostly some introductions and a lot of bnm4 stuff, but you'll definitely get a lot more 2park interactions next chapter!! im not sure how long it'll take me to get the next one up considering uni starts back up tomorrow but i'll try my hardest to not make you all wait too long. 

follow me on twitter where i'm doing a progress update thread on this fic @winkscham and if you have any questions you'd like to ask me on anon, pop into my cc! curiouscat.me/holywoojin

thanks for reading, and as usual please leave kudos and any comments you have (p.s. i love long comments ur not annoying if you leave long comments they make me happy!!!)

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pink_baekbaek #1
Hi! I read this fanfiction on ao3 and I'm sorry this is late, but I want to thank you for making this story. If you don't mind, I screenshot some parts just for reminders because this tackles so many issues about oneself and relationship with others and I am so emotional and kind I really just want to thank you!
This fanfiction is so well-written and real. I do hope your doing well, because this has helped me a lot and I hope you know how precious you are. Thank you again omgomg i cant describe what i feel and i really want to convey them to words and wow just wow
jeulyuhxvii #2
Chapter 6: This is so well-written! I commend you for making this fic. I really love it! Keep up yhe good work authornim!!!

Ps. This is my first time reading a 2park fic and omg you never failed me.
dorky-u #3
This is such an amazing fic!! I love your writing and all the angst and how real pwj and jihoon seem. Please write more 2park fics because you're amazing
cthchy #4
Chapter 6: Honestly I would love to write a long comment but I have no idea how to describe how I feel after reading this other than saying it was beautiful
deathbyanime
#5
Chapter 6: This was amazing like omg TT-TT it was beautiful throughout
TokkiLover
#6
Chapter 6: I love this ;;
exocat15
#7
Chapter 6: you did a stunning job with this story. the funny parts made me laugh so much omfg (i legit choked like twice during the beginning it was that hilarious) and the angst parts made me want to curl into a ball and cry (i may or may not have done that during this chapter dkfjdfdfjkd). the angst was executed amazingly, and you captured all the emotions so well.
i'm feeling like ten different feelings rn; it's such a raw, emotional story about being human

ok i'm going to check out your other fics
(i have no regrets reading this in one sitting)

ps i can't believe there's a comment bonus on this?? it's a masterpiece?? why would no one comment on this fjksfjkdjf i'm making a blogpost riGht nOw so this cAN gEt reCognitiOn goddamn
joceychan #8
Chapter 6: seriously, beautiful. you did a really good one there. i waited everyday for the update and at the same time i dont want this to end :') looking forward to read more of your works! author nim jjang!!!
PhantomThorn
#9
Chapter 6: Iv been a silent reader for a long time but I now (since it's sadly the end) just wanted to say how incredible this story was and how much I loved it!!! it put me through SO many emotions, it made me laugh and cry (literally there were so many tears in so many different chapters and just everything was so sad and then so happy and aahh) and this is honestly one of my favorite fics, I always found myself looking forward to the next chapter and checking back everyday (I kid you not) to see if you had updated. this was such a beautiful story and I can't wait to read your next stories ♡♡♡
INmelodySPIRIT #10
Chapter 6: Waaaaaaaaa~ i cant describe how i'm feeling right now. This fic has grow a spot in my heart and i will cherish it for a long long time. Thank you for this wonderful fic byunderella-sshi. I love how you portray jihoon's and woojin's development in their life to the point that they managed to move on from their past together. It's beautiful and romantic that they both support each other so well. And i guess my fav character in this fic is donghan. God knows how much i want someone like him in my life. Maybe not as a lover, but as someone important in my life that i will be sure to cherish for the rest of my life