The sun was going down outside Jungkook’s window and Sori was not home yet.

In the morning he had tried catching her eyes to see how she was, but it seemed like she always sensed his eyes on her and turned the other way or lowered her head to avoid him. She was avoiding him. The pain Jungkook was feeling was something he couldn’t understand. He found himself almost at a loss of physical strength, he barely had been able to get up and go to work in morning. Sori’s face was everywhere: in the mirror, in the pages of his favourite book, in front of him, in his dreams. She was everywhere. She always appeared to be crying in his dreams, and he knew it was because of him. What he didn’t know was why she kept appearing on his dreams. It was like some punishment from the gods, punishing him for having acted like a . Jungkook kept hearing his harsh words and seeing Sori’s pained face, right before she cried she looked at him and whatever she saw on his face scared. From that moment Sori had put some distance between them and whenever he tried to reach her to confront her, she seemed to get further away from him.

He had dreamt the same thing ever since he had that fight with Sori, if it could even be called that way, which was a good three and half days ago. He was afraid of going to sleep now, because the moment he closed his eyes, the scene from three days earlier kept flashing in his mind. I messed up big time. . I don’t even know what to say.

The night of the fight, Jungkook was worried sick. He knew Sori lately was having some health issues, so she needed to eat carefully and well, so that her dizziness could go away, but she skipped both breakfast and lunch, and when she came back it was quite late, so she could’ve eaten dinner at least, but she skipped that one as well. Jungkook had barely seen her ever since. She hid somewhere and only came home late in the evening. Even Seokjin wanted to have a serious talk with her about skipping meals, and hearing that made Jungkook feel even guiltier. Is she really skipping meals because of me?

He knew he was an , but the idea of Sori going on a diet just to look more appealing for him made him feel a bit proud of himself too. It’s hard to find someone who loves you enough to change his habits for you. He had someone who loved him that much, it was quite obvious. Did he deserve it? He wasn’t sure about that, and that sent him on paranoia at times. Jungkook knew Sori wouldn’t have a hard time if she ever decided to look for a partner, while Jungkook would never be able to do the same. Not when it came to long term relationships, at least. No one would want to spend time with a jerk like him.

Thinking about his words, Jungkook had established that this was probably the main reason why he’d reacted that way. He was good looking and he had always known it. He hardly had problems in finding girls for one night flings, and he was always careful with choosing the prettiest one out of those who flirted with him. He took pride in showing off the girls he conquered, but it was never more than that. It was always only a one night stand.

Not being able to see anyone else but Sori was ticking him off. Sori had nothing special physically. Boring dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, chubby and short. Was there in the world something plainer than that? She was constantly compared to Minyoung in his mind. Minyoung was quite tall, slender body, perfect abs, perfect , wasp-sizes waste, light brown hair and hazelnut eyes. Much of this was probably due to the fact that she was a born-werewolf, but that didn’t make her any less attractive in his eyes. Or at least, he easily recognised her attractiveness. She’d be the perfect girl to be paired with someone like him, but would she be able to love him like Sori did? Would he find her cute and y in the way he thought about Sori? Would she even be able to get it the way Sori did?

Ever since the fight Jungkook had felt completely apathetic to anything that wasn’t Sori. Looking at Minyoung he still thought she was pretty and attractive, just not to him. Not anymore. That was when he knew something for seriously wrong with him. He was staring at her and he couldn’t think of having her under him anymore, because her face was changed into Sori’s in a matter of second. He, the man who always had whoever he wanted, never having had to fight for a girl before, never being a second choice once in his life. He was now the man who could only think about a girl who didn’t even get close to his preferences. Thinking about her only worsened the pain he was feeling all over his body. Where is she? Why isn’t she home yet? Has she eaten? Did she finally go to the doctor for a check up?

He felt like Jin 2.0, however he just could stop worrying about her. The weirdness in her scent hadn’t disappeared yet, so his initial supposition about it was wrong. But if it wasn’t because of the fever, then there was something else that was wrong with her body, and he didn’t know what it was. Why is she a turned-were? Why can’t she be just like me? Stupid turned beasts can’t even heal themselves properly. He mentally scoffed and pressed his pillow on his face. Jungkook couldn’t believe himself. He’d lost the count of the amount of times he’d repeated the same identical words in his minds. It felt like a broken record was playing over and over in his head.

What if this time I really went too far and she won’t forgive? His heartbeat rate picked up at the thought. Jungkook had noticed Sori's change of behaviour. She didn’t change completely, obviously, but the fact that she didn’t try to talk to him was something new. It was even more surprising that she had the courage to talk to him in front of the others, in fact that was the first time Sori openly spoke with him in front of them. She usually spoke under her breath if they were close to them, or just made some physical signs to show him she was listening to whatever he was saying. Even that was his fault.

He never was comfortable with the idea of liking a turned-were, just imagining what his father would say if he were to discover his son's preferences scared him. Not that he would ever find out since they hadn’t met once in the last fifty years or so, actually he could’ve been dead for all he knew... still it gave him goose bumps. It would only prove him he was right, that Jungkook is just a failure in his household.

This thought was enough for him to hardly snap at her after the first time they had . It was years ago, but he could see in her eyes that she hadn’t forgotten it. If Jungkook had to be honest, he hadn’t cared that much about Sori's nature after a while, because everyone else had gotten pretty close to Sori as she spent more time in the pack, and he often felt left out because she pointedly avoided him, going as far as only talking openly when he wasn’t around. At times he noticed she tried to sit as far from his as she could when they had a meeting or they had to go out, while she didn’t care about the other packmates being close to her. He had learnt the hard way he was the one who had weird morals, and he had overcome them. Until Minyoung had joined the pack, that is. Jungkook had been trying to make Sori definitely understand she didn’t have to act like that around him anymore, since the only thing he wasn’t okay with was being openly affectionate in front of the others. However, when Minyoung joined the pack, his old self awakened and Jungkook felt disgusted by himself. Minyoung wasn’t used to seeing a turned-were staying in the same room with the others or living in the same floor as them, so her first days in the pack had been a tad awkward. Although it only lasted a couple of days, it was more than enough for Jungkook to have the time to think about the impression their pack gave others whenever they had multi-pack meetings. They were a joke. And the fact that he couldn’t behave the way he used to without feeling guilty made him feel even more disgusted with himself

He wanted to insult her, to humiliate her, to let her know her place, but at the same time he wanted Sori to always stay there, closely, with him. He wanted Sori to be always there for him whenever he need her. For some reason, this also ruined his one night stands. Whenever he was looking for girl, no one could catch his eyes. They all looked plain and boring. If he brought one of them home, he was forced to think about Sori and her scent, because he couldn’t get hard in any other way. He felt like he was going crazy.

The light series of knocks against his door startled Jungkook.

“Come in”. He removed the pillow from his face and sat up, trying to act like he normally would. As soon as Taehyung and Jimin stepped into his room, Jungkook realized what they were up to: the talk. For the record, Jungkook lost the count of the amount of times they already had “the talk”, and he also thought what they said was right, but it was hard for him to change his behaviour in the long run. Usually it only lasted a couple of days, maximum a couple of weeks, but then... well, old habits die hard, they say.

The two sat cross legged next to him and stared at him, waiting for him to start speaking. The silence between them wasn’t that common. Usually those brief seconds of silence felt like a blessing to Jungkook, but it felt bothersome today. He wanted them to start speaking or at least ask him something. When he couldn’t take the silence anymore Jungkook spoke up.

“Aren’t you going to ask me anything? Don’t you have something you want to tell me?”, his eyes alternating between hid two hyungs.

“Nah, I think you already know you ed up big time. What else can I say that you don’t know yet?”, Taehyung shrugged. “I can’t even say you disappointed us, since you already know we are disappointed in you. What else do you expect me to say?”.

“I don’t know. Just say something. At least insult me, I don’t know, just stop being quiet”, his voice sounded every bit as tired as he felt. He already knew they were all disappointed by his behaviour, and he had no excuses for it, but anything was better than that silently accusing glares. If there was something he could do to take his words back, he’d do it, but now it was late. Moreover, it felt like it was a bit hypocrite of them to act like that when they had never defended Sori...

“I have something to say, however I want you to reflect on this more than receive an answer to my question right now”, Jimin told him sternly.

“Deal. Tell me”. And let’s hope it’s not something I haven’t thought through already...

“Have you actually realized you’re losing her? Don’t you see she’s acting different lately? Don’t you see she’s starting to be more independent?”, he questioned, sounding as if he was trying very hard to show him something that should’ve been obvious to him. If Jungkook had to actually reflect about it, Sori was definitely acting in a more independent way. It wasn’t likely for her to go out before leaving a note for Namjoon or directly asking him his opinion about it, but lately she seemed to have taken up a liking for going out and coming home whenever she liked. What was even more surprising was that, for some weird reason, Namjoon let her do as she pleased. Not even them, born-werewolves, could go out without notifying the alpha about it, because he’d go berserk, yet Sori could. “There's something special in her though, but I guess no one know what it is yet. I think you'll be the surprised ones when you’ll learn about it”. Jiho’s words echoed in his mind. Were his words hinting to something like this? Was she hiding something and Jiho knew it?

“I noticed, but I don’t really have a clue about what’s going on. I... noticed some changes in her, but I don’t think it was anything major. Maybe she’s just finally going out of her comfort zone”, he said, trying to sound unbothered. “As for the question about losing her...I don’t know, hyung. I don’t want to think about it”. His voice sounded worried and sad even to him. Ugh, disgusting.

“Haven’t you asked yourself why she changed? Even if it’s only a light change, it’s still a new beginning, right? I really think you should go and clear the air with her, by the way. What you said it’s not okay, and although I try to stay out of your business, I think Sori deserves better”, Taehyung, who was usually very loud, was calm and composed today, and it made Jungkook feel weird. As if something big was about to happen and he was the only one who hadn’t taken the hint yet. Do they know more about her than I do? Do they know where she is?

“I think she needs more time to deal with the things you said. Didn’t you notice she has slimmed down? I haven’t seen eating a whole meal in the last three days and, if you remember, she was already skipping meals a bit before this whole ordeal happened. I don’t think it’s a healthy thing to do in the long run, so I think you shouldn’t wait too long before apologizing. However, I really think you should clear you mind before talking it out with her. In my opinion, the most important thing you have to do right now is gather you thoughts on that matter and decide what you want”, Jimin frowned.

“Also, have you noticed the way your behaviour has changed lately?”, Jimin asked him, finally meeting his eyes. “You’re constantly annoyed, you're divided between wanting her and hurting her. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you need to make up your mind before talking to her. Choose. You can either take her or leave her, you know she doesn’t deserve to be a second choice. A friendly reminder frpm me would be for you to choose soon, because if you wait too long, than it’ll be too late”. This all sounded pretty creepy to Jungkook’s ears. Moreover, his relationship with Sori was a topic he hardly ever liked to openly discuss. He mostly preferred to understand on his own what was going on and what he did wrong, what his feelings for her were, etc...Talking about it with other people wasn’t his forte. The guys were great, but there were things he didn't want to share with them. Also because they were never on his side whenever it came to Sori. I mean...okay she changed, but it’s not that drastic. As soon as I’ll be able to find her I’ll tell her I’m sorry.

“I really don’t know what to say. I mean, I went overboard, but I could have said worse things. Besides, I already tried apologizing to her yesterday when she came home, but she just locked her door and then she ignored me”, he explained, curling in a ball to protect himself from feeling too exposed. It was embarrassing to let others know he actually tried to apologize to Sori. Jungkook caught his two hyungs sharing a glance, as if they actually did know more and were trying to decide if it was the case to share it with him as well. Eventually they decide to do it since Taehyung started talking right after that.

“You know why she locked you out on purpose, and it’s relatable, but... her room wasn’t locked for the whole night”, the two exchanged another glance, and it was ticking Jungkook off even more. What were they hinting at?

“So?”

“We slept in her room, and from what Hobi hyung said, the previous night him and Yoongi hyung spent the night with her”, Jimin carefully stated. He averted his eyes, making it impossible for Jungkook to read his expression.

“Which means-...”

“That she’s cutting you out”, Taehyung completed the sentence for him. It wasn't very polite of him, but Taehyung often liked to be very direct when he was expressing his opinion.

Now, Jungkook guessed this was the feeling everyone called “fear”. His heart was in his throat, his stomach churning and his heart rate spiking up. Why is she avoiding only me? Is she hiding something from me in particular or she’s just mad at me? I wasn't the only one who made her sad, tho, why is she only angry with me? For a reason Jungkook couldn’t understand, he felt his eyes stinging, like he was about to cry. He never was one to cry this easily, but there was something weird with his body. He was starting to feel like he couldn’t breathe properly, and the more he told himself to take deep breaths, the more he felt breathless.

“, I knew this wasn’t going to end well!”, Jimin’s panic was clearly audible in his voice.

“Whatever, let’s just bring him to Namjoon”. Taehyung grabbed his shoulders and Jimin his legs, and headed as fast as they could towards the alpha’s office.

Namjoon was still sitting in his office. Seokjin and Narae had just left to go make dinner. Actually it was Narae’s turn, but both Namjoon and Seokjin were afraid she’d poison or spit into Jungkook’s food if left alone, so the latter followed her with the excuse of helping her. Narae had always been very protective of her best friend, and after having heard Hoseok telling Yoongi what happened, she’d been barely able to keep shut. Reasoning about it, Namjoon had thought it was only because she hadn’t heard the full version of what happened from Sori yet. Not that Narae had no right to get mad and maybe even punch Jungkook, but there was already enough drama going on lately, Namjoon would have happily skipped over this single problem. Jungkook’s better stay clear away from Narae if he knows what’s best for him.

Not to mention that was getting even worse, because Sori had avoided almost everyone in the last three days, and it was no mystery she was hurt by Jungkook’s words. Who wouldn’t be hurt and feel used at that point? What Namjoon didn’t understand was what she’d been up to in these days and where she spent her days. He had a feeling Narae knew it but didn’t want to tell him about it. And that reminded him he also had to talk with Sori about her leaving whenever she pleased. The alpha mentally groaned thinking about it. She at least had to tell him where she was heading to, because the thought of the youngest and weakest member of his pack being alone with all the rogues attacks was pushing all the alarm bells in his head and depriving him of his sleep. Up to now he’d been able to stop