Poison

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Description

Kyungsoo and Jaehwan live in a world of chaos, where the Emperor's terrifying rule is poisoning everyone he touches. After months of discussion and avoiding anyone who has come in contact with the Emperor, one of the friends comes up with a plan...

Foreword

This is my entry for the August Monthly Mini 

 

I would like to thank Beauty Lies Within for the beautiful poster and background!

 

 

Comments

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-Tigress-
#1
Chapter 1: OH this is so unique. I really like the set up and the whole idea behind it all! You took a prompt that was kind of vague and twisted it into making them the heroes of their country, period. Super cool! I really iked the underlying theme of friendship and how Kyungsoo didn't have to come help, and yet he did, from what I assume was loyalty to Jaehwan. The power from the emperor was really cool, like a Midas touch in a way, though I am curious about his name (since you named the one who gave him the power!). But my favorite line of it all was, "It felt as if he had just breathed out his very soul, leaving a tired, withdrawn man behind." That was fantastic!
I'm left with questions, of course, seeing as it is such a short oneshot with so much world building and story build that could go into it, but in all I really quite enjoyed this. (Plus I know how little time you had to write it haha). There were some typos throughout but overall, good job!
Amalya
#2
Chapter 1: Let me start by saying I loved the concept of this. People with powers, a corrupt ruler who used subversive means to get there, unquestioningly loyal minions at his beck and call. It has the setup of a much larger world, and great possible heroes in Kyungsoo and Jaehwan, but that's the other side too. For me, it just feels a bit too short. And a bit fast. I liked the ending and loved the twist of them being perceived as monsters, but despite the Emperor's power, I never really felt like they were in danger. It could be more of a personal preference, though a bit more buildup or more description in the action or more insight into how they were personally feeling could have helped add some of that tension I was personally hoping for. That aside, very creative! Again, I love the concept of this world and the whole setup. I also really enjoyed Kyungsoo and Jaehwan's relationship and that brief appearance by Taekwoon was quite enjoyable. ^_^ Congrats on finishing your entry for the contest and thank you for sharing!