t w e n t y - t w o ; awareness 

As the temperature in the room, it sends shivers down my body. I move my hand to seek for the blanket but instead of connecting with the plush surface of one, my hand hits something hard. Startled by the unexpected impact, my eyes open to see what the object is. However, it is not an object, but more like a thing that belongs to a person. By thing I mean a bicep. And by person I mean Kai. Kai’s bicep. Jeez, did he stuff his muscles with rocks?

How is it possible that my hand would land anywhere near Kai, who is sleeping on the floor so I can have the bed last night? The distance would be at least three feet and last time I check, my arms are not freakishly long.

So picture this: I’m also on the floor where Kai is sleeping sans blanket (which explains the chills). Somewhere between the night, I must have rolled myself off his bed without ever being jolted awake and landed next to him. I might have been so deep asleep that even an earthquake wouldn’t win against my slumber. His back faces me.

Just as I’m about to remove myself from the spot next to him, he swivels his body completely around. My surprise toward his sudden movement prevents me from moving before his leg with the bad ankle hooks around mine like I am some sort of body cushion.

I attempt to wiggle with slight movement, hoping that he will return to his original position from the discomfort. To my displeasure, he doesn’t budge an inch.

This. Is. So. Rude.

If I try to forcefully untangle his leg from mine, I’m afraid of hurting his sprained ankle and waking him up. It is barely before 8 in the morning, and I’m not that bad of a friend to do something like that. Which leaves me totally trapped. This is not the predicament I would have foreseen for myself on this fine morning.

I don’t realize that his face is so directly near mine until I notice how his breath is fanning across my cheeks. Like the day from the hiking trip, I experience the same heart-jumping-out-of-my-chest feeling from being in the close proximity with his face. There are moments when you don’t notice how things usually are because you’re frequently exposed to it. You think you’re finally immune to it. But sometimes, there are moments when the realization hits you like a semi-truck going 70 miles per hour on a highway and crashing into the car the driver did not see due to blindspots.

This is one of those moments.

I am the car in the collision, being struck with the realization that Kai . . . is very good-looking. It’s not that I never admitted that he isn’t. In any normal circumstances, his joking manner and how he behaves toward me divert away any focus of his appearance. But now, without any of those in focus, it’s difficult not to see the sharpness of his jawline, the plush outline of his lips, and the way the glimmer of sunlight is hitting his tan complexion.

And I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that he’s . . .

He’s kind of beautiful. Like the kind of beautiful that you would find yourself feeling lucky that he’s yours.

Okay, wait what? I need to regroup immediately because these are not the thoughts I should be having for a friend whom I know for ages. Also, I shouldn’t even be staring at him like some sort of romantic comedy chick flick scene because that’s not the— Seriously, just abort! Abort! Cancel e v e r y t h in g because this has been a weird morning for all of us.

When I shift as a fail attempt to move away as though it would help me collect my thoughts, the stirring cause him to drift his eyes open. I can’t help it, I let out a disrupting yelp like I’ve been caught in the act of doing something I shouldn’t be doing.

Kai covers his ears at the noise as his face scrunches in irritation. “Dude,” he groans groggily. “I spare you my bigass bed and you get yourself in the tiny space on the floor?”

Defensive, I snap back at him. “I didn’t plan it, and your bigass leg was locking me in place. Technically it’s not only my fault.”

He offers a glance downwards where his ankle is using my leg as a footrest. Then has the audacity not to remove it upon noticing. “No wonder. I felt something prickly poking me. When was the last time you shave your legs?”

Although I am wearing sweatpants that cover all of my legs and said legs underneath are silky smooth since I was preparing for the date with Sehun, the comment deserves a smack on the chest. He makes a low sound of pain even though I know it doesn’t hurt.

“Your breath stinks,” I retort.

“Your personality stinks.”

Our insults are as mature as when we were twelve years old. For some unknown reasons, the immaturity forms a smile on my face. Maybe it’s because that some things don’t change when we grow older. Our hearts are still young even when our outside appearance doesn’t align.

He smothers his face in his arm but peeks one eye at me. A sleepy smile mirrors in return.

It’s sort of really adorable that I don’t know what to do with myself.

“Well good morning to you too,” he adds sarcastically but in a gruff, barely-just-woken-up way.

All the thoughts from earlier are making a comeback. Being this close is making me weird and I don’t know whether I want to run as far away as possible or move in closer.

How is he so unaffected? Is it because he’s used to being in this proximity with other girls?

He touches the top of my hair, where my bun has become undone. “I forget how curly and big it gets. Your hair.”

“Yeah. It’s a lion mane,” I reply even though I want to scream to him to please don’t touch my hair right now.

“Is everything okay? I heard a little scream when I was in the shower—oh,” Kayla freezes from her spot. Her jaw remains open until I start to see the situation from her point of view: both of us looking like we are purposely glued to each other on the floor. It doesn’t help that Kai’s leg is crossing over my leg as his hand resembles ruffling my hair although he was only inspecting it.

“Um… It’s not what it looks like,” I begin to explain.

Kai’s sister simply quirks one of her brows up and hums an unconvinced reply. “Huh.”

“I screamed because his face was so ugly it scared me.”

Kayla crosses her arms and sighs. “At least you don’t have to see it everyday.”

“Wow. I’m feeling the love,” Kai chimes in.

“Love ya, brat. Come down for breakfast if you two aren’t planning to canoodle each other all morning.”

With those final words, she slams the door close.

•   •   •   •   •   •   •

“Was the hangout okay? I didn’t hear from you all weekend so I assumed it didn’t go well.” Olivia drapes her arm over my shoulder as a sign of comfort while we’re in line to get lunch as usual. I was so occupied all weekend by other things that I haven’t even thought of updating Olivia on my date. A look of concern crosses her face. “Did he reject you?”

Ah, I feel bad leaving her out of the loop when she was so excited (even more excited than me if that was even possible.) I haven’t even confirmed to her that it was a date to begin with. She still thinks it’s a hangout.

“No, sorry. Something came up and I forgot about telling you.”

If she was thrilled by the thought of Sehun asking me out, I wonder how she would react to the entire day I spent with him.

We catch our seats in the same spot as last week. However, there seems to be more people there today and I don’t feel like having more rumors of me going around if any of them happen to overhear my conversation with Olivia.

“Let’s find a more deserted place.”

Thankfully, Olivia doesn’t question my suggestion. Once we find a place outside that’s more secluded, she’s practically trembling in anticipation. I begin the story of my unnecessary dad and his absurd sense of humor. Olivia, unfortunately, finds him more funny than embarrassing when I tell her about the part that he carried a shotgun on his back when meeting Sehun.

“I love your dad already.” She cackles. I warn her to watch out for the milk in case she’s snorting them out while laughing again.

“Ha-ha. Funny,” Olivia deadpans.

“Then Sehun opens the door for me like a gentleman he is. When I apologized for my dad, he told me along the lines of, ‘Don’t worry, I’d probably do that too if my daughter goes on a date with a boy.’”

The shriek that comes from the girl would have attracted attention had we no