There are many reasons why you shouldn't work on christmas eve. But there are more reasons for Kyungsoo to work on that night. The main reason was the simple one: He hates christmas eve. Besides, he got no plans for that night. Nobody even suggested him one. What's the point if it's going to be turned down anyway?

So here he was, in the bookstore, working, on christmas eve. Actually he was quite enjoying it. Nothing excites him more than books. Besides, the pay was really good and he needed the money.

"Hey. Let me take it frome here. Go take a rest for a while" Jinyoung approached him in the cashier.

"You done with your book?" Kyungsoo knew the latter was reading some novel in the best-sellers racks.

"Yup. It's awesome. Now, go"

Kyungsoo smiled and thanked him then walked away to the staff room.

He took the hot chocolate from his backpack and open the book which he's lately reads.

 

My Voice

by Oscar Wilde

 

Within this restless, hurried, modern world

We took our heart's full pleasure - You and I,

And now the white sails of our ships are furled,

And spent the lading of our argosy.

 

Wherefore my cheeks before their time are wan,

For every weeping is my gladness fled,

Sorrow has paled my young mouth's vermilion,

And Ruin draws the curtains of my bed.

 

But all this crowded life has been to thee

No more than lyre, or lute, or subtle spell

Of viols, or the music, of the sea

That sleeps, a mimic echo, in the shell.

 

He took another sip. Then he closed his eyes. His mind wandered back to one year ago.

 

***

 

" I swear to god I don't understand any word of anything that you reads" 

Kyungsoo looked up and giving the other guy an annoyed look. "Yeah, said the guy who wrotes sentimental lyrics"

Jongin laughed. "I'll take that as a compliment. You're implying that I'm such a lyrical genius, right?" He smiled and sat beside Kyungsoo.

The latter just rolled his eyes. "Whatever"

"Oh come on, you said you like them!"

"Are you coming here just to annoyed me or what?"

"Geez, chill Soo. Anyway I've come up with the new one. Would you hear it and give your thoughts?"

Kyungsoo looked at him. "Sure"

Of course, he would. He likes Jongin's lyrics. He's in love with it.

Jongin played some music from his phone and start singing.

 

On this afternoon where the first snow is falling

If only I could call you, I'd be so happy

Turn back the block, turn back my heart

Would we be different now?

Sure, It's a stupid thought

But still, what if

 

Jongin stopped. "I know it's too short. I wrote it on the bus today. So, what do you think?"

Kyungsoo stared at him. He isn't sure if he's in love with the lyrics anymore. What if he's in love with the person who wrote it too?

 

***

 

Jongin stumbled off in his walk. It's too much. He couldn't see straight. His legs didn't work as he told them. They were swaying. He knew his brain is sending signals telling him what to do, whether or not his body is listening is a different story. His head hurts. It's heavy. He's dizzy. He decided to put an end to it and slumped onto the pathway. He stared into the stars in the night sky. It's too much. He wanted to cry. But he held it. His hand moved to the phone in his pocket, speed-dialling someone in number one.

"Hi"

Jongin heard the other line's answer. He remained silent.

 

If I met you, would the tears rise up?

The foolish me wouldn't be able to say anything.

 

"Jongin?" He heard the other line's voice again.

He steadied his breath and said. "It's cold"

Silence.

"Soo, merry christmas" Jongin breaks the silence.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kyungsoo asked.

 

Is it tears or is it because of the snow?

When the snow falls, would my bruised heart get covered whitely?

 

"Soo, are you happy?"

"Wha-why? Jong, are you okay?"

 

I used to think you would always be there like air

But I foolishly let you go, I'm so sorry

 

Jongin closed his eyes trying to hold back his tears. "Because I'm not, Soo. I miss you so much. I always have. Feels like it suffocated me. There is an ache that comes and goes, always returning in quiet moments. The fact that I miss you so yet I can't see you, it hurts. You've become a silhoutte, as if you walked from a photograph and left behind blackness. So tell me, Soo. Are you happy?"

 

***

 

Kyungsoo lost of words. He didn't know how to react.

But he knew he has to make sure Jongin is alright. He has to find him.

"Jong, you want to know my answer right? Well, I'll answer if you keep talking. Keep talking till I told you to stop"

He put his things in his backpack and straight out to tell Jinyoung.

"Something urgent coming up. I'm sorry, I have to leave" He showed his sorry looks.

Jinyoung looked at him for a while then said. "Well, sure. But remember to make it up to me for leaving me alone in the busiest night of the year"

"Of course. Keep it in my mind. Thank you so much. Merry christmas!" He said then slip out of the bookstore.

Jinyoung stunned for a moment. "D-did he just said merry christmas??"

 

Kyungsoo was walking while listening to Jongin's babbles.

"The stars shines soooo bright. When they being like this, it means they're happy or sad? They're shining when they're happy or when they're sad, Soo?"

"I don't know. They just shines"

"But whyyy??"

Kyungsoo sighed. "I don't know. They just did"

"Have you ever try to ask them? Maybe they'll tell you the truth"

"I'm not talking to them"

"But why not??"

"Cause I don't do stars-languange?! Seriously how much did you drink?"

"Do you think I can learn it?"

"What?"

"The stars-languange"

Another sigh. Also a frustated cry.

 

***

 

"Soo, I'm sleepy" Jongin yawned.

"Wait, I'm almost there"

Jongin looked confused. "Where?"

"Don't go anywhere. Don't sleep. Don't do anything stupid"

"Such an old man. Told you I'm sleepy. It's cold"

"Then don't go out and get drunk alone in a snowy day, you dumbhead"

"I'm not drunk"

"Uh-huh. And I'm not a human"

"It's true. You aren't"

"Wha-Stop. Forget it. I'm hanging up"

"He-" before Jongin could say another word he was being cut off. He stared at his phone for a moment.

 

"Hey, I'm here"

Jongin looked up and saw Kyungsoo. He smiled.