“I'm so sorry, Soo,” Taeyeon apologized for the nth time now.

 

Taeyeon told me everything about her encounter with Tiffany earlier with Yuri chiming in how she walked in on them standing so close together in the kitchen, much to Taeyeon’s annoyance. After hearing everything and considering the situation, I didn't blame Taeyeon. Not one bit. I couldn’t. I was the one who asked for a favor. She only did as requested.

 

I’m worried now that Jessica might catch on sooner than what I’ve hoped even with Tiffany’'s misunderstanding.

 

I pondered for a moment, racking my brain for some sort of solution. I didn’t think my plans would get compromised so soon.

 

“Why not just tell Tiffany the truth?” Sunny suggested.

 

“Yeah. Why not just tell her?” said Yuri. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

 

I looked at both of them as if they’re both crazy.

 

“Are you guys insane?!” I exclaimed. “She could tell Jessica and it will all be over. She’ll hate me.”

 

Sunny quirked a brow at that.

 

“I doubt she’d react badly,” she said. “And besides, Tiffany might not tell Jessica if we ask her not to.”

 

“I can’t do that. I can’t take that risk,” I said.

 

Despite me saying that, I mulled over what she said for a minute.

 

Why am I even considering it? Of course she’ll tell. She’s her best friend.

 

Suddenly, I felt Taeyeon place her hand over mine. The action made me look up at her.

 

“Hey. I don’t mind if she thinks it’s me. Technically, I was the one who brought the flowers to her house. Half truth, half lie,” Taeyeon said. “We can take advantage of Tiffany’s misunderstanding.”

 

“But Taeng, are you okay with that?” I asked.

 

Although Taeyeon agreed to play along with Tiffany’s misunderstanding, I can’t leave her in that position. With Tiffany suspicious of Taeyeon, I bet she’ll catch on sooner. And also…

 

Taeyeon likes Tiffany.

 

We’re all aware of Taeyeon’s little crush on Tiffany since that time we first got together. She was acting more quiet than usual even with us, her friends, there. I thought it was strange at that time until I caught on to her sneaking glances and smiling shyly at Tiffany. The others noticed it too when I talked to them afterwards.

 

Knowing how she feels, this seems unfair towards her.

 

As friends, we naturally started rooting for her. Taeyeon had denied it and the possibility of it ever happening was impossible. She felt that Tiffany was way out of her league and someone she could only dream of.

 

I feel really bad right now. I don’t want this misunderstanding to become an obstacle of what might be a potential romantic relationship between the two.

 

“It’s fine. It was my fault anyway for not being careful,” Taeyeon said.

 

I could see how guilty Taeyeon was feeling right now. Knowing her, she’ll insist so I found myself accepting her offer.

 

“But just tell me if it’s becoming too much for you, okay?” I said. “I’ll be the one to personally clear things up with Tiffany.”

 

She gave me a small smile and nodded.

 

From this incident, it seems that I have to be more careful. I can’t get myself caught. Not now. Not yet.

 

“Why did it have to be Taeyeon anyways?” asked Yuri.

 

“Because, if I sent it through mail or through delivery, she could trace it back to me,” I explained. “If I did it myself, there’s a chance some people might recognize me since I’ve been walking her home these past weeks. And I couldn’t risk that.”

 

“How about me?” Yuri asked.

 

“I don’t trust you,” I said bluntly.

 

“Ouch. You wound me,” Yuri replied. “Am I that unreliable?”

 

We all nodded.

 

Yuri laughed and shrugged.

 

“I still say it’s better to just tell Tiffany,” Sunny interjected.

 

“Why are you so confident about Tiffany?” I asked.

 

She’s been pushing the idea since earlier.

 

“Just a feeling,” was her simple reply. “I mean, I don’t think Tiffany’s that kind of person.”

 

“Yeah. She’s really friendly. Although she did scare me a bit earlier,” Yuri said. “She seems more open-minded than most people.”

 

I agreed.

 

But I’m still hesitant.

 

“So you’re telling me to go with what you say based on your ‘feeling’?” I asked.

 

“Yah. You say it like you don’t trust my judgement at all,” she snapped back.

 

She’s right.

 

Sunny has always been great at judging people. It’s sometimes scary. I still remember that time back in college. She was especially distant and cold to this particular professor that was loved by so many students. It was weird considering she was known for her friendly personality. I asked her about it one day but she told me I won’t believe her anyway.

 

Later on, that professor was found to have been extorting some students and, in exchange, raised their grades. Shockingly, he was also found guilty of having slept with some of his students as well.

 

I asked her about it and she told me it was the way he smelled. She explained that he always seemed to smell of different perfumes. And that didn’t sit well with her. I learned from that incident that she’s pretty observant. I started trusting her judgement more.

 

And she never disappoints.

 

“I do,” I quickly said. “It’s just…”

 

I heard her sigh.

 

“You’re scared. I get it,” she finished for me. “Just act fast. Taeyeon can’t lie for you forever.”

 

“I know.”

 

That issue aside, we moved on to another subject.

 

“I don’t know if she likes me that way,” I said. “I mean, I don’t want to put much meaning on how she’s been…”

 

“Been?” Yuri urged.

 

“...touchy feely.”

 

Like I said before, I noticed how she’s been clinging to my arm as of late. When I try to surprise her with a hug from behind or wrap my arms around her shoulder, she doesn’t struggle as much like before. Sometimes, she even initiates them.

 

But then again, she may just be getting used to me.

 

“What’s your plan anyway?”

 

I don’t really have much of a plan. I told them what I’ve come up with so far, to which I expected some sort of positive feedback from the three but I was met with unsatisfied expression.

 

Shaking her head, Sunny said, “I knew I couldn’t just leave it up to you.”

 

“That’s the whole plan?” Yuri seemed to frown.

 

“It’s a bit...,” Taeyeon hesitantly says.

 

I urged her to continue.

 

“...boring,” she finished.

 

Boring?

 

“I don’t understand,” I said, confused now. “Is there something wrong with my plan?”

 

“Pabo,” Sunny remarked. “From what you told us, you’re basically just going to shower her with gifts and then reveal yourself. How is that going to make her like you?”

 

“She might be thinking of someone else,” Yuri said. “So if you suddenly reveal yourself and claim you were the one who sent all the gifts and you’re not the one she’s expecting, you’ll both be disappointed. You’ll be miserable at best,” she elaborated.

 

“They’re right,” Taeyeon said. “Why don’t you try sneaking in some clues but not enough that she’ll know it’s you.”

 

“And you need to get closer with her,” Yuri said. “In more ways than one if you’re up for it,” she added in a suggestive tone.

 

Yuri even had the audacity to even wink at me.

 

“Come on, Choi. I expected more from you,” Sunny said in a disappointed voice. “Do something outside of your regular routine.”

 

“I can’t think of anything,” I said with a groan. “I don’t know what to do.”

 

We all spent a considerable amount of time thinking. We all got lost in thought until Sunny spoke up.

 

“Oh! I know,” Sunny suddenly exclaimed. “Why don’t you invite her to that company party your sister invited you. Say that you don’t want to go alone.”

 

I frowned. How is inviting her to what I’m sure is going to be a typical boring company dinner party going to help me? The only reason I’m going is because my sister asked me to.

 

“Seduce her,” she told me.

 

“Wh-what?”

 

I was flabbergasted at her remark.

 

Seduce her? Me?

 

“Show your assets. This occasion is the perfect excuse for you to wear something that’s sure to make her notice you.”

 

“Ah. Now you’re thinking like me,” Yuri said. She raised her hand for a high five which Sunny gladly returned.

 

“But I don’t get it. How is that going to help with my situation?” I asked.

 

“By slowly making it clear you want something more than just friendship. You need to show her your charms first,” Sunny said.

 

“Hey! I am charming,” I interjected. But then she gave me that wide-eyed glare of hers. I immediately shut my mouth.

 

“As I was saying,” she continued. “You’re going to have to make small leaps first before you take the big one. When do you plan on confessing anyways?”

 

“Umm I’m not sure yet,” I answered

 

She rolled her eyes at me.

 

“But you agree with what I said, right?”

 

I nodded slowly, still a bit unsure.

 

“But how do I even do that?” I asked.

 

“You’re normally flirty as it is. Just step it up a notch,” Sunny said.

 

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not flirty? I’m just being friendly.”

 

They all gave me a disbelieving look.

 

“Just invite the girl,” Yuri said.

 

 

“I’m not so sure…,” I said. “I mean, why would she even agree?”

 

“Just tell her you don’t want to be stuck in a room full of grown men in suits,” Yuri said.

 

Funny. That’s the same reason my sister gave me for inviting me to this party.

 

“Yeah. That could work,” I said.

 

Customers came flooding in so Taeyeon and Yuri had to excuse themselves. They couldn’t help but groan at the number of people.

 

“We really do need a new hire,” Yuri said with a sigh as she stood up from her seat.

 

“Let’s put up a sign,” Taeyeon said.

 

It was only me and Sunny left.

 

“So?”

 

“I’ll...,”I hesitated. “I’ll do it.”

 

---

 

I went looking for Tiffany in her office to get her opinion on some new designs. Unfortunately, her assistant informed me she hasn’t come back from her lunch yet.

 

As I was heading to my own office, I saw her exit the elevator and walk towards my direction.

 

It was weird seeing a frown in place of her usual smiling face. And the way her heels clacked loudly against the floor, I knew something was wrong. She walked straight into her office, not even sparing a glance at the other employees, leaving them all bewildered.

 

I felt it was my duty to ask so I walked back into her office. It was quite a peculiar sight, seeing her in a daze. I decided to knock on her door to get her attention. Sure enough, that did the trick.

 

“Hey,” I greeted.

 

“Hi.”

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“You know,” I began. “I’d understand it if you took a day off today.”

 

“That’s two days too many,” she told me. “We’re quite busy. I can’t just leave you to do all the work.”

 

“Well you did just experience a break up so I’d understand it if you need some time for yourself,” I said with concern.

 

She waved me off and said, ”I’m fine.”

 

I raised a brow at that.

 

“Really?” I said not believing her at all. I decided to be frank instead. “Then what’s with the frowning and the stomping?”

 

I had my arms crossed as I leaned against the doorway, pointing a scrutinizing stare her way.

 

“What?” she asked. “I wasn’t frowning.”

 

I snorted at that.

 

“I saw what I saw,” I said. “The whole office can testify too.”

 

“I’m not. See!” she said, forcing a big smile on her face. “I’m perfectly fine.”

 

Rolling my eyes at her actions, I approached her.

 

“You expect to fool me with that?” I asked while gesturing at her face. “You’re being weird,” I said bluntly.

 

“I’m not,” she denied once more. “Just...having an off day.”

 

I placed both hands on her desk, leaning down so I could be at eye level with her.

 

“Are you okay?” I asked, my voice serious and concerned.

 

The fake smile on her face disappeared. I watched as she dropped her gaze and sighed. She then looked up to me again.

 

“I'm fine really. Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing that important,” she told me. “I’m just...confused about some things that’s all.”

 

Seeing that she wasn’t planning to say anymore than that, I decided to drop the issue.

 

For now.

 

I sighed.

 

“If you say so then,” I said. “You’ll talk to me if there’s anything wrong, right?”

 

“Of course. You know I will.”

 

I simply nodded.

 

I was about to leave but then I remembered why I was looking for her earlier. I thought it over if I should bother her since it looked like she’s a bit moody today.

 

She did imply that she’d rather work. Maybe it’ll help take her mind off of things.

 

I proceeded to talk to her over the designs I needed her personal opinion on. We spent the rest of our time picking out pictures we wanted on the next issue for March. It was admirable how she immediately switched into her professional mode. But, that didn’t stop me from oserving her carefully.

 

---

 

I continued to receive flowers on a daily basis the days following Valentine’s Day. I’d always see one waiting for me every morning when I leave for work. Each flower would have a note attached to it, telling me the meaning behind each of them.

 

“You’re still getting flowers?” I hear Sooyoung say beside me.

 

I turned to her, giving her a bit of an embarrassed smile.

 

I showed her the one that I got today.

 

It was stock lavender purple flowers.

 

“Yeah,” I answered. “It seems they’re very persistent.”

 

“You don’t like it?”

 

“It’s not that I don’t like it per se,” I try to explain. “I’m just confused.”

 

“Confused? Why?”

 

Really? She’s asking me that?

 

“Let’s be honest here. I’m not exactly the most likeable person out there.”

 

The next thing I knew, she stopped me in the middle of the sidewalk and pulled me aside. She grabbed both of my arms and looked me directly in the eyes.

 

“Don’t say that,” she told me. “I’ll repeat it as many times as I can until I get it through that pretty head of yours. You are beautiful, Jessica Jung. You’re nice and kind. You can be sweet too. I know because I’ve watched you -- please ignore how creepy that sounds. And if people see you for how I see you, they’ll agree with me. So don’t sell yourself too short.”

 

I felt the sincerity in her words.

 

And the way she was earnestly looking at me, it triggered something in me.

 

I felt my chest fill with such warmth.

 

The way my heart was beating faster was concerning too.

 

I couldn’t help but blush and smile shyly as I looked away to avoid her intense gaze. Who wouldn’t after hearing all of that?

 

“You know, if you keep complimenting me like this, I might just think that you actually like me,” I said jokingly.

 

She pulled back for a moment, shock written on her face. But it was immediately replaced by a grin.

 

“What if I said that I do like you?”

 

This time it was my turn to be surprised. I felt my blush from earlier intensify.

 

I tried to form words but I wasn’t sure what to say.

 

“Just kidding,” I heard her say again.

 

She then let go of my arms then proceeded to hold my hand.

 

“We should get going,” she told me as she started pulling me by my hand.

 

“Okay.”

 

As we walked, I could sense a weird atmosphere enveloping the two of us.

 

I still haven’t fully recovered from earlier.

 

I could feel myself blushing.

 

I could feel my heart beating.

 

And I remember what she told me right after.

 

‘Just kidding’.

 

I could feel my disappointment.

 

Am I…

 

I kept sneaking glances at her as we walked. She was acting normal which made me even more conscious of myself. My focus shifted to our joined hands. Her hand was slightly bigger than mine so they enveloped my smaller one. I realized since the first time we held hands that her hands are soft. And warm.

My hand felt tingly all of a sudden

There was this excitement I couldn’t explain. And at the same time, I felt anxious.

 

As my building came into view, I felt dread at every step we took.

 

Just a few more steps.

 

And all I wanted was to continue holding her hand.

 

“Here we are,” she told me as we stopped at the entrance of the building.

 

“Yeah.”

 

I didn’t move.

 

“Sica?”

 

She turned to me and gave me a questioning glance.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked me.

 

“Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just got lost in my thoughts,” I said.

 

It was an excuse of course. But not completely a lie.

 

I still kept thinking about our conversation earlier. The disappointment I felt when she told me she was only kidding because I knew a part of me was taking what she said seriously.

 

I heard her chuckle.

 

“You space out a lot.”

 

I reluctantly retrieved my hand from hers, and started to approach the doors.

 

“Thank you for walking me,” I said. “You should get going.”

 

“It was my pleasure.” She gave me a toothy grin. “See you later then.”

 

“And with that, she walked away. I stood there for a while, watching her get further and further away.

 

Suddenly, the note attached to the flower resounded in my mind.

 

“You’ll always be beautiful to me.”