First visit to the doctor

zhīzi- Gardenia

Jackson thought nobody noticed his suffering but He Jiong gege observed every moment, he put the pieces together and offered Jackson to take him to his hotel room, he was going to help Jackson, that was for sure

Jiajia, spill it out, what’s wrong with you? Is there anything you need? Can I help you?-

Gege, there’s nothing wrong with me, what are you talking about? - said Jackson.

C’mon JiaJia I saw you today, are you feeling sick? You didn’t each the dish and it had cheese and chocolate, your favorites!!! Something must be going on, tell me please I just wanna help- answered He Jiong.

It’s hard to explain gege, I have no idea where to start, I just know I can’t eat properly and my body is aching, maybe I got the flu?-

No, I don’t think so. JiaJia you know you can trust me. I know you locked yourself in the bathroom before the filming, what happened?-Asked He Jiong.

Nothing gege, as I was telling you I’m feeling a bit under the weather so I went to take some water.

Anyways, let me see- said He Jiong while placing a hand in Jackson’s forehead- JiaJia!! You’re burning!! We’re going to the hospital.

No gege!!! Please don’t!! Don’t!!! just take me to the hotel room, I’ll be fine- pleaded Jackson.

I’m not asking you JiaJia, we’re going yes or yes- said He Jiong.

To the hospital they went and the doctor delivered the news after running some tests:

Mr. Wang I’m here to read your test results. Unfortunately you have Hanahaki disease. Look this x-ray: here around your abdomen there are seeds growing and I don’t know yet what kind of flower is it because you’re just in stage 1. This sickness presents 3 stages: the one you’re going through is the earliest; you are developing seeds inside your stomach. People normally confuse the symptoms saying they feel butterflies in their stomach when they’re near the person they love. If the love is reciprocal the seeds don’t grow and people have healthy relationships, the disease doesn’t advance.

However, in your case Mr. Wang, it seems you are suffering from an unrequested love; you’re having the seeds, arrhythmia and fever those are indicators of the develop of this disease. The second stage is blooming, where the seeds start to grow and expand inside your body with vines, you start to produce petals that may be expel by coughing. Stage 3 is complete blossom, you produce actual flowers and you expel them through coughs. The seeds take over your body from inside and you became a terminal patient, unable to breathe properly or eat. Your condition worsens as the time passes and, eventually you can die from suffocation or malnutrition. You have three options of treatment:

Option1: since you’re in the early stage you can get over it by simply falling out of love, I know it sounds careless but there’s hope. You can try going to psychologist, busing yourself, spending less time next to the person you love.

Option 2: it’s a bit more complicated; you can talk to the person who is causing this and maybe try to have a relationship with her or him.

Option 3: Surgery, we take you to the operation room and remove all the seeds. You fall out of love immediately. However, if you choose this option there’s no turning back. You’ll forget all your feelings and memories of the person you love. You'll have a fresh new start, but if you’re friends with this person you will never be able to be as close as you are now, you’ll develop just superficial feelings. I won’t recommend this option unless you’re in stage 3. I can also give you some pills to diminish the symptoms.

JiaJia, think carefully about your options. Thank you very much doctor, please write the prescription for him now, I’ll buy the medicine and take him home- said He Jiong gege.

Jackson was speechless, he couldn’t believe it. The mythical Hanahaki was real, He was suffering from it. Jackson just let his gege to take care of him; he didn’t sleep in his hotel room that night. He was crying the whole way to the pharmacy. That night he confessed everything to his gege. He Jiong was an understanding brother, he swore to keep it as a secret. Jackson made his choice:

Option 1 it is gege, I’ll get over this soon. I’ll be going to the psychologist, I’ll be taking my medicine and busing myself, I’ll be a bit more distant from Mark and this is just going to be a nightmare from which I’ll wake up soon.

I’m gonna be with you every step of the way, JiaJia perhaps it would be a good idea to talk to Mark about it- suggested He Jiong.

No way!! Gege, he just started dating. He isn’t gay or bi, I won’t ruin his happiness for this disease, he isn’t guilty. As I said before I’ll get over this soon and I won’t ever confess my feeling to him because they’re not mutal gege, understand I don’t want to be a burden- confessed Jackson.

Whatever you want JiaJia, I’ll support every decision. I’ll be always here helping you. Maybe you can speak to your friend BamBam, you need an ally in Korea if you want to overcome this disease soon- added He Jiong.

That’s a good idea gege, I’m sure BamBam is going to be very helpful, I hadn’t thought about it before, he can be my ace card. He had his suspicions, and I can trust him. I’ll talk to him as soon as I land in Korea- Jackson had made his mind. His only plan was going to be put into practice.

 

Journey entry #17

I was dead tired after arriving from China. I felt so wrong about missing the fan meeting, it wasn’t my intention but I had already a schedule in China. I felt even worse imaging that ahgases saw only Got5 since YoungJae is resting at home.

I felt how my body was faltering the moment I saw Mark hyung with his girlfriend holding hands, he is happy with her, he spends his free time in hidden dates, going to restaurants, walking down the Han river with Sana. It used to be me though, some months ago it was me going to the movies with Mark, and it was me the one who used to walk next to him down the river. Not any longer. When Mark isn’t with her…Well, they are texting each other.

His happiness must come first. Above all, before this stupid disease I am his best friend, so I will always consider his feelings first. If Sana is his happiness I have no word on it.

 But every time I look at you it’s so hard, because I love you so much Mark. It hurts so much when you say I’m just a friend. I’m standing outside the line that I can’t ever cross. It hurts but why can’t I turn away?

J-

After finishing writing in his journal, Jackson took a deep breath and looked at it. BamBam was right: writing did help him to spill his feelings but it also made him feel sometimes miserable, lifeless, loveless, and hopeless.

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INFTINSPIRIT97
#1
Chapter 9: Okay, I didn't need my heart anyways T_T
Quotezdaily
#2
Chapter 10: My Markson heart : ( Your writing is so so so good that I can feel the pain of characters myself. I would love to read your stories please if you have time write more ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Quotezdaily
#3
Chapter 3: Why ? Π _ Π
starlight_1004
#4
Chapter 9: WHAT IS THIS OMG TELL ME U DIDNT JUST
Anonymouhs_Ahgase
#5
Chapter 10: OMYGOD
Ijami12 #6
Chapter 9: Omgggg ???
YixingsBaoBei
#7
Chapter 9: WHAT THE ?! Hell no! Boiiiiiiiiii what the is this!!!! My heart- Noooooooooooooo.!!!!!!
x_jigoku #8
Chapter 9: This was so good ? And the END!! Whyyyyyyyy, my poor emotional heart ?♥️
Irtayag #9
Chapter 9: Omg! Beautiful!
evilyoungest #10
Chapter 8: OMG. . i love it, please don't end It like this