Now I gotta live life!

Description

Hey! I'm Anny!

Let me tell you something: I'm sick. I have cancer.

But I'm fine with it. I mean, there are a lot of people with cancer. We are like a big fat community of sick people.

Don't get me wrong. It to be sick and to go every month to the hospital and getting a new diagnose. But I managed to cope with it...not like my mom, but this is another story.

But let's start were my...let's call it interesting story began.

Foreword

"You have cancer Anny. I'm really sorry."

"Uhm...I-I'm s-sorry...but what did you just say?"

"You have cancer.", reapeted my doctor. 

"Are you sure?", I asked quietly and scared.

"We need to do some more tests, but it's definitely cancer Anny. I'm really sorry.", he looked down at his clipboard and waited for me to proceed what I just heard.

"But I can't have cancer! I mean...I'm a good student. I get straight A's and rarly B's in my assignments...I-I'm supporting Unicef! And I go to the church with my mom every sunday! I can't have cancer. I haven't done anything wrong!"

I didn't realized that I was already crying and getting hysterical.

"Please! Please! I can't have cancer! Please!", I started crying louder and louder, begging the doctor to tell me that he was lying...just joking, so I wouldn't do something stupid like smoking, because people who smoke get cancer. Not me. People who don't care about their body get cancer, but not me!

"Please! Please!", I reapted, already choking on my own words, but he wouldn't tell me that he was jocking. He wouldn't even look at my face.

"Maybe you did something wrong...I mean...yeah...something must have gone wrong. You said you needed to do some more tests, right? Some more tests...yeah...I'm not sick...I'm not."

"Anny-"

"When is the next test , Dr. Frank?", I immediately interrupted him.

He looked at me with sad eyes, but he answered my question nonethlessly. " Our next appointment could be next week if you want to."

"Yes. Next week is fine.", I whispered and rised from the chair.

"Is your mom waiting outside?", he asked me before I reached the door.

"She is."

"Should I or will you tell her?"

"Tell her WHAT?!", I yelled the last word and turned around angryly. I whipped my face with my sleeve and stared the doctor down.

"I'm eighteen! Do you hear me?! EIGHTEEN! It's impossible for me to have cancer. I am to young to have cancer! I haven't done anything in my life! ANYTHING! I always said yes! I did everything everyone was expecting from me! And now you are telling me that I have cancer?! NO!...Just no!"

That was the first time I ever yelled at an older person.

Dr. Frank keept quiet for a few seconds. I thought that he was probably upset by my stupid behaviour, but then he said calmly.

"Then go and live your life Anny."

"Excuse me?"

"Go and live your life. Enjoy yourself. Go out. Get drunk. Go clubbing. Meet new people. Go and have fun for the first time."

I looked at him shocked for a few seconds, but then I started laughing and two seconds later, tears were streaming down my cheeks.

"It must be that bad, huh, Dr. Frank?"

"I'm really really sorry, Anny"

"See you next week, Dr. Frank."

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