Summary: Taeyeon makes a promise to herself.

Category: Angst

Title Source: Never Let Me Go by Florence + the Machine

Taeyeon slams the steering wheel in frustration. Once, twice, thrice.
 

She is at war with her mind. Her heart isn’t part of the equation because as far as she’s concerned, she lacks one. A good one, at least.
 

She has been sitting in her car outside Tiffany's apartment building for a good half hour now. The engine is off, the lack of a heater makes her shiver, goosebumps breaking out of her skin, but she can barely feel the cold.
 

She’s never chased after someone before. It has always been the other way around.
 

She can stick to her ed up principles and keep doing what she has been doing with her entire life, but it’s been half an hour and she’s still here. Staring up at Tiffany's apartment windows, seeing the light coming from inside, and wondering what the other woman could be doing up there.
 

Her gaze snaps back to the entrance doors when she catches sight of a woman walking out. Heels, skimpy dress, pretty. No. y. able. She wore those clothes because she wanted to be ed. Taeyeon brings her gaze up and her curse echoes throughout the car because . She knows that woman. Has seen her in some of the cocktail dinners Tiffany had invited her to. Tiffany had introduced her as her co-manager. Soo-something-or-other.
 

She’s coming closer, and Taeyeon notes the slightly smudged lipstick, the messed-up hair. Her mind stutters at the sight because Taeyeon's not ing dumb, and she knows what the woman had just been up to.
 

Her cruel, ed-up heart has the audacity to clench in pain.
 

Taeyeon barely registers leaving her car after the woman is out of sight. Doesn’t remember waving to the slightly confused doorman who recognizes her but doesn’t question her frazzled aura as she climbs the stairs two steps at a time.
 

Within seconds, Taeyeon is standing in front of Tiffany's second-floor apartment. She swallows down the rancid taste of guilt and panic and tries to block out her thoughts, because they’re telling her to run the away and stop messing with Tiffany's head because she sure as hell doesn’t deserve it.
 

Taeyeon doesn’t listen to herself and pounds on the door. She only wants one question answered. That’s it. She’ll leave immediately after.
 

Hearing slow, light footsteps, her blood pumps loudly against her ears.
 

Her heart drops to her feet when she sees Tiffany in a bathrobe, hair mussed much like that woman’s, her lips flushed and swollen.
 

Normally, Taeyeon loves that look on her. Loves it so much that at every ample opportunity, she tries to mess the usually-prim-and-proper Tiffany Hwang up with and hands so that she can look like that. But she hates how Tiffany looks tonight.
 

“Why the are you here?” Tiffany spits out venomously.
 

Taeyeon looks up and she’s met with seething anger and raw pain. Usually, Taeyeon is casual about this. A sarcastic retort here, an aloof statement there, but this time, when she opens , nothing comes out.
 

It takes her too long, because she sees the door begin to slam shut on her face, but thankfully, her reflexes kick in and she wedges her foot and traps it inside. “Wait!” And it annoys her how she croaked that word out, like it was filled with desperation, an emotion that Taeyeon thought she has already lacked.
 

Cruel cheaters like her lack desperation.
 

At least until someone like Tiffany Hwang comes along and shakes their world right to the core.
 

Her foot is starting to ache because Tiffany is still trying to slam the door shut, so she uses her hands to pry open the door wider. She inwardly sighs in relief when she feels it give, and she’s met with stormy eyes and a tattered soul once again.
 

“Please. Leave me alone,” the girl begs of her, and Taeyeon chokes back the guilt and steels herself.
 

“No.”
 

“What more do you want from me?!” Tiffany yells at her.
 

“D-Did you her?”
 

The brunette gapes at her in disbelief. “What?!”
 

“I saw her leave. Did you guys each other?”
 

Tiffany gives a hollow laugh, and it scares Taeyeon how emotionless it seems. “I can’t believe that you even think that you have the right to ask me that.” She backs away from Taeyeon and clutches at her hair like it’s her lifeline before turning around. “Leave. Now. I won’t say it again, Taeyeon.”
 

Taeyeon doesn’t move from her position as she tries to think of what else to say.
 

And then she hears it. Soft, heartbreaking sobs coming from the woman facing away from her.
 

Taeyeon hates tears. Hates it when people cry in front of her, or even anywhere near her. She doesn’t know how to comfort people, and she thinks it’s because she lacks the empathy to. But she keeps surprising herself tonight, because she moves forward and turns Tiffany around in her arms. Pulls her head down and lets her bury her choked sobs against her neck.
 

Tiffany clutches Taeyeon's shirt tightly as she relents and breaks down.
 

And somehow, Taeyeon doesn’t find it hard to comfort Tiffany that night. She doesn’t feel grossed out by the tears staining her neck and shirt, doesn’t mind the piercing cries Tiffany lets out.
 

Once the sobs have died down to hiccups, Tiffany pulls away, as if she has just remembered who she was clinging on to. She quickly wipes her tears and snot and doesn’t meet Taeyeon's eyes.
 

“You didn’t kiss her, right?” Taeyeon asks timidly. She needs to know. She’s ing desperate and she needs to know if Tiffany has been with someone else because she finally registers the hurt and the confusion she’s feeling and she’s not supposed to be feeling this way—not anymore—but she is and the pain is reverberating throughout her entire body and she just can’t seem to stop it.
 

Tiffany meets her eyes, and she sees the defiance in them again. “I did,” the former responds calmly, casually. Taeyeon gets it. She gets that Tiffany wants her to hurt.
 

Taeyeon clenches her jaw before continuing. “D-Did you…did you her?”
 

As much as Tiffany lets the defiance fill her, a crack in her façade makes its way through her eyes, and Taeyeon inhales sharply and holds her breath as she waits.
 

“…N-no. I…we…I c-couldn’t. I wanted to. I needed to. To forget you and your ing—“ Tiffany breaks off in the middle as she tears up all over again.
 

Taeyeon swallows audibly, and she takes a chance and steps forward. Tiffany doesn’t move a single inch, so Taeyeon takes another step, and another, until only mere inches separate them.
 

“Tiffany…” she breathes out, lifting a hand to brush her fingers against a tear-stained cheek.
 

Taeyeon's mind is shutting down. She feels like she’s acting on autopilot right now, succumbing to weird emotions that seem instinctive and so foreign to her that she doesn’t really know what to do with them. The only common thread that ties them together is the girl in front of her.
 

Still, Tiffany doesn’t move. And Taeyeon feels like she wants to run away, but somehow, she’s stuck just as much as Taeyeon is, trapped by feelings that don’t seem to be healthy nor logical, but are so powerful that they just pull them in and leave them hanging dry once they’re done with them. Once they’re done playing with two messed-up souls in one ed-up universe.
 

Taeyeon's fingers glide down from her cheek to her lips, and she notes the smudged lipstick that mirrors the other woman’s a while ago.
 

She presses the pad of her thumb hard and wipes it away, and Tiffany just stands there and lets her remove traces of somebody else on her body, like they don’t belong there.
 

Taeyeon wants to kiss her, stake her claim, and usually she just goes for it, but for some reason, she looks up and meets Tiffany's eyes beforehand.
 

She sees the damage that she’s done reflecting in the beautiful, dark brown orbs, and she wants to wash it away. Just for tonight, she wants Tiffany again.
 

Without any more hesitation, Taeyeon yanks her in and crushes her lips into a reckless kiss that vows to take away any traces of that other woman until all that’s left is Taeyeon's scent and her marks against Tiffany's skin.
 

Just for tonight, Taeyeon promises to herself.

FIN.

A/N:

3 AM Angst Demons season 1 episode 2. Heh.

I've always had this self-prompt in my notepad that literally just states "Taeyeon sees Fany with someone else and kisses the taste and smell of the other one away."

I don't condone cheating and cheaters, but they definitely make for good drama. Up to you to decide if you think Taeyeon would've kept her promise and/or stayed true to this messed-up AU. (: