I stared at the television for a while. I honestly do not understand what I am feeling right now. So what if she’s now partnered up with another man? It’s not like I ever had any hold on her, especially now that our virtual marriage had ended.

“You’re jealous” I’m not. I shrugged. It’s a good thing I’m home alone or my hyungs will keep teasing me.

“I wonder if she remembers me. I wonder if she thinks of me every now and then.” Probably not. I can’t blame her. It’s my fault anyway, I was the one that stopped contacting her after our WGM ended, not that I wanted it but… I sighed. I miss her… I really do.

xxXxx

It’s been three years since we debuted but we’re still nowhere near the top. It’s not that I am being greedy; I just think my Hyungs deserve more recognition. Of course, we had our hits, people love our songs but our genre isn’t really that big of a thing in my country.

Most people love dance music, and although we have a few dance music, we love singing ballads… and we’re really good at it: my Hyungs even wrote and composed the songs, we sometimes even produced our own songs, and my Hyungs do everything they could to promote our group. But even so, I think they’re not receiving the love that they deserve… and I want to help them, that’s why I’ve been polishing my acting career, then I can promote our group. I still want to do more…

So now, I’m here…

“Are you sure you want to do this, Sungjae-ya?” our manager asked.

“Yes, Hyung. I really want to know what marriage life is like. Also, I want my Hyungs to be envious of me cause I was the first one to get married.” I teased. Manager-hyung and I laughed.

“Well, okay then… I’m going to bring this contract to the management. Make sure to prepare yourself for a married life.” Manager said with a smile before taking off.

‘What was that about?” Minhyuk-hyung asked. I almost jumped in surprised. Minhyuk-hung is eyeing me with concern and doubt.

“It’s nothing.” I said, but Minhyuk-hyung keeps staring at me as if I’m going to do something stupid, which might be true, this might be a stupid idea.

I smile reassuringly at hyung, “I’m going to announce it later once manager-hyung is back and once all the hyungs are awake.” Then I walked towards my bedroom, trying to avoid further questions from Minhyuk-hyung.

“What was that?” Ilhoon-hyung, who just came out of his room, asked. I saw Minhyuk-hyung shake his head before I got inside my room.

Damn. I wonder if I did the right thing.

-x-x-X-x-x

I woke up when a I heard a loud banging at my door. Irritated, I went to answer the door. I saw Ilhoon-hyung and Changsub-hyung running away while laughing hysterically when my door opened, leaving Peniel-hyung behind to explain what just happened.

“Breakfast.” Peniel-hyung said with a sheepish smile. Aish… I can’t get mad with this hyung, he’s so sweet.

“Who cooked our breakfast?” I asked, still quite sleepy.

“Minhyuk-hyung and Eunkwang-hyung.” Peniel said

“Ahhh… I bet Eunkwang-hyung made eggs for breakfast again.”

“As long as it tastes good, I’m okay with it.” Peniel-hyung said. Aish, This hyung is really cute.

“Good morning.” Hyunsik-hyung said once we’ve entered the kitchen. He’s sitting at the table alone and quietly checking his phone, while chaos is around him. I’m not surprised though… this is the usual scene at our dorm.

Eunkwang-hyung is busy preparing the food. Minhyuk-hyung is helping him, but he keeps nagging on with Changsub-hyung and Ilhoon-hyung who are both making a mess around the kitchen. Peniel-hyung joined Hyunsik-hyung at the table. I went to the chaos.

“Shut up you three..." Eunkwang calmly ordered. “We’re making too much noise, our neighbors might complain.” But of course, the three of us did not stop.

“Aish… you three, help me put these foods on the table.” Minhyuk-hyung order. Maybe, it’s because he’s the mother of the group, but all of us helped him to prepare for breakfast, even Peniel-hyung and Hyunsik-hyung. We were all chatting and eating happily when Manager-hyung came back.

“Hyung, where have you been?” Eunkwang asked.

“Come on and join us eat, hyung.” Peniel said. Manager-hyung smiled and joined us. He grabbed a chair and sat beside me.

“They said you’ll be filming in two weeks.” He told me happily.

“Filming what?” Changsub-hyung asked. I saw all the members looking at me.

“You didn’t tell us you were going to film something. When did you audition?” Eunkwang-hyung asked. His expression was a mixture of happiness, confusion, and worry. So does Minhyuk-hyung. Why is everyone worried about me?

I really couldn’t answer the question. I saw Manager-hyung asked me with his eyes, ‘Why didn’t you tell them yet?’ I sighed heavily. They usually let me do what I want, but I don’t know how they’ll take this news.

“What’s with this serious atmosphere?” Ilhoon-hyung commented to ease the tension. Why is there a tension anyway, it’s not like it’s a big deal. Okay, here it goes…

“I’m getting married.” I announced.

“WHAT?” everyone, except Manager-hyung, exclaimed. I can see so many questions in their eyes. I can’t help but laugh.

“Calm down.” Manager-hyung said, he too was laughing. “It’s not a real marriage.”

“Wait… what?” Changsub-hyung asked dumbfoundedly.

“Do you mean he joined We Got Married?” Ilhoon-hyung asked.

“Yes.” I answered, still laughing at the funny confused faces they’re all making.

“Who are you going to be married to?” Eunkwang-hyung asked.

“I don’t know yet. Besides, shouldn’t you know it before I do? You’re one of the hosts.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Minhyuk-hyung asked.

“I want to laugh like this because you’re all making funny faces right now.” I laughed again.

“I wonder who will be your wife? Maybe Soo Hyun-shi.” Changsub-hyung suggested. Then the talk about my possible wife continues. They all seem excited for me; I guess I did well.

x-x-X-x-x

I feel nervous. Is this really the right decision?

Earlier, I was notified by the We Got Married Staff that I’ll be able to hear my wife today. They planned for us to call each other.

I’m nervous. What if I don’t like my wife? What if my wife won’t like me? What if we’re not compatible? What if we would not get along?

“What’s with the face?” Minhyuk-hyung asked. I saw all the members are around me and looking at me. We just finished practicing, and the WGM staff are preparing to film me talking to my wife on the phone.

“Are you nervous?” Eunkwang-hyung asked. I did not answer, but still Eunkwang-hyung smiled teasingly, ‘Ehhh… don’t be too nervous, it’ll be alright.”

“Maybe you’ll be married to a noona.” Ilhoon-hyung suggested. I smiled sheepishly, I like that idea.

“He smiled just by the word noona. Sungjae really likes older girls.” Hyunsik-hyung commented.

“Well, he’s childish. He needs someone who will take care of him and so a noona will definitely fit the bill.” Ilhoon-hyung stated.

“Well, whoever she is, let’s support our maknae’s marriage.” Minhyuk suggested. Right then, a WGM staff signaled that we’ll begin to shoot. Here goes nothing…

x-x-X-x-x

I definitely liked her personality. We kind of have the same humor, and she really seems cute and friendly. I wonder who she is… I can’t sleep.

x-xX-x-x

Okay… so I’ve read an article about who my wife will be? I don’t think I’m disappointed. I was indeed expecting that I’ll be partnered up with a noona, but Joy is definitely pretty. Plus, we’re both idols, she definitely understand the nature of my work.

I’m kind of nervous. I’m sure she had read about her husband too. What if she’s disappointed? What if she does not like me?

Ahhhh… I feel like I’m going crazy. Even though we’re already filming, I can’t seem to calm myself.

x-xX-x-x

I definitely look like an idiot today. I can’t still stop smiling.

“You look definitely happy.” Changsub-hyung stated teasingly.

“Well, he’s married to Joy! Of course he’s happy.” Minhyuk-hyung commented, “I envy you!”

I laughed. Minhyuk-hyung is the biggest Red Velvet fan I know. Or maybe the whole group is crazy about them. I can tell by the way my members are dancing and singing happily to Red Velvet songs.

“So, how was your first meeting? What was your first impression?” Hyunsik-hyung asked, his eye-smile showing how interested he is.

“SHE’S PERFECT!” Eunkwang-hyung exclaimed, answering before I could even talk. Minhyuk-hyung, Ilhoon-hyung and Changsub-hyung keep singing in the background.

I guess I’m glad Eunkwang-hyung answered for me. I don’t think I can maintain my cool, nonsensical image if I talk about Joy.

I mean she was not what I expected to be my wife. But she definitely makes me feel nervous and comfortable at the same time. I… I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’m just happy that my wife is her.

xxXxx

What is she doing right now? Is she thinking of me the way I think of her?

Gosh… I miss her so much.

I wish I can see her without having to think too much of it.

I wish I can hear her laugh and her voice speaking to me again.

I wish I can be with her once more.

I wish… I wish she’s still my wife.

I wish she was really mine.