chapter two

Out of everyone, Jiwon was the last one I thought I'd drift apart from. I was always convinced that we'd stay in touch for the longest time. Strangely, he was the first one who walked away and that, even before we graduated from high school. Five years have passed by since we last spoke and honestly, up to this day, I still wonder how he's doing. I don't check his social media accounts anymore, I don't cry anymore and I don't feel bitter seeing our pictures in my phone gallery. I don't wish to turn back time (or maybe I do), but I just wish we could talk again, even if it's just for once. 

Ever since that Friday night at the club, all I have in mind is him. Jiwon standing behind the bar, in a black long sleeve shirt, his noodle hairstyle hiding his small eyes, his skin shinning amidst the multicoloured lights. He has changed, but I'm sure it was him. I could recognize him anywhere regardless of the amount of time that flew by. 

“You're spacing out.” Mino remarks, a sigh escaping his mouth. 

We're in the studio, Mino is working on a new song and he wants me to listen to it despite my lack of knowledge on music. I always wondered why my opinion matters so much to him, why he needs my approval before submitting the song to the CEO of the music agency. The only things I learned about music, melodies or lyrics is from Mino and there aren't much, both of us being busy with our own career. 

“Sorry, can you replay the song?”

“Not before you tell me what's going on.”

“Mino” I retort, ready to argue with him.

“You've been acting weird all week.” He snaps, cutting me off. “It's about Jiwon, isn't it? The guy you mentionned at the club.”

It astonish me that he remembered his name. Jiwon's name. After all, how many times have I mentioned him? Once and it was almost in a whisper, in a brief moment that should just have been long forgotten, but somehow Mino always manages to keep in mind the useless things. 

I'm not sure if I should spill everything or keep it within myself. Is there even something to say? Will Mino even understand the way I feel?

For a second, I contemplate telling him the truth. But that means opening up and opening up means attaching yourself and I don't want that. “There's nothing going on. I'm just dwelling over the past.”

The other members walks in and I mentally thank them, hoping it'll distract Mino from the topic, although I know it'll be just a temporary distraction. Mino will ask me again, he'll ask me until I tell him, because that's how he is. He's good with words and he knows how to get people open up to him. There's just something about him that makes you want to tell him everything. Several times, I had to stop myself from talking too much, saying more things than I should. 

“How's the composing process going on?” I ask Seungyoon as he drops himself of the chair next to mine.

“Don't ask” Seungyoon replies, sighing as he drops his head into his hands. “I haven't been inspired lately. 

“You should tell us a story Hayi.“ Seunghoon interjects in, from the sofa. “Last time it worked.”

I laugh, last time was a couple of months ago when I was drunk and mumbling incomprehensible nonsense. However, Seungyoon composed a song out of my random rambling. 

“Tells us about Jiwon” Mino voices lowly, his eyes full of curiosity. 

“Jiwon? You've got a boyfriend Hayi?” Taehyun inquires, finally lifting his head up from his guitar. Taehyun's not the type to involve himself in group conversation. He's usually the one who stays in the back and listen to everyone and while being in his own world.

“He's not my boyfriend and you guys are busy. I should leave you.” I declare before standing up from my chair, only to have my wrist grabbed by Mino.

“You can't leave without providing us inspiration.” He winks, leaning in more comfortably in his chair and leaving me no choice. 

I sigh, feeling defeated as I drop the straps of my handbag down and sit in more comfortably on my chair. “What do you want to know exactly?”

“Who is he?” Mino naturally inquires.

“Just a former friend from high school.”

“Seems like a first love story” Seungyoon teases, his chin resting against his hand and his elbow deposited on the chair's arm. “You have to be more detailed so I can put myself in your situation and find inspiration.”

“C'mon Hayi, it's just us.” Jinwoo encourages, his angelic face smiling and sending me warmth and signals that they can be trusted. 

"Fine" I concede. "He's someone I used to like. Happy now?" 

Admitting it out loud didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would have. Perhaps, I really succeeded in moving forward throughout the past years. “We were best friends and somewhere along our friendship, I began to see him as more than just a friend. It was silly of me though.” I conclude, standing up once again and making my way towards the door to exist the studio, only to be stopped by Taehyun. 

“You can't leave like that. You have to tell us the details. That's what matters.”

I sigh once again. “Really guys? I'm telling you there's no point in talking about that.”

“I can get you the list of