2003

“Alice! Alice!”

He shouted as he threw pebbles to the window on the 2^nd floor. Seunghyun stood in the middle of the crisp white garden with his hands tucked into his black snow jacket. The white curtains on the window danced before it was opened and a head peeped at the window ledge. Alice opened the window and her head peeked through.

“What? Can’t you use the door like normal people?”

“I’m not coming up pabo. I want you to follow me. Come on it is so cold out here, I might freeze to death.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise. Come on. Please pretty please.” Seunghyun continued begging.

“Fine. Let me change first.” Alice said as she went back into her room. Seunghyun smiled and walked to the front door of her house. A few minutes later, she came down and greeted him at the front door. She was all geared up and ready. Alice wore knee high boots and a red bomber jacket with a black snow cap. She didn’t plan to go anywhere that night since the winter wind was only beginning to get colder but Seunghyun insisted so she followed through.

“Urgh, it is freezing out here. Where are we going anyways?” She said, zipping up her jacket to cover her chin.

“To my house silly.”

Alice pulled an irritated face at him. Seunghyun stuck his tongue out in his defence.

“My house is only across the street. You won’t die freezing just to get there.”

The two teenagers crossed the empty street towards Seunghyun’s house side by side. Out of the blue, Seunghyun pulled Alice back from stepping into his house compound.

“What?” she asked in annoyance.

“It’s a surprise so you have to close your eyes.”

“What if I don’t want to?” she disputed.

Without arguing further Seunghyun covered her eyes with his hands before pressing the pass code to his house gate. He guided her through the gate and into the front yard of his house.

“Tada! Happy Birthday!” he excitedly exclaimed.

The garden was beautifully lit with yellow, red and green Christmas lights and decorations. The ground was covered in thick white snow and in the middle of the garden was a telescope tied with a red ribbon. Next to the telescope was a red and white chequered blanket with two steaming mugs and food laid perfectly on plates. There was also a small birthday cake just waiting to be eaten.

A small smile formed on his face as he watched her face light up. Alice couldn’t believe her eyes that she laughed her heart out. She jumped in joy and hugged Seunghyun tightly before planting a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“But my birthday is next week silly.”

“Happy advanced birthday then!”

Alice smiled knowingly at him.

“Where did you even get the idea?”

“Well, I just had to top your star naming gift so I asked for noona’s help.”

“That’s cheating oppa.”

“Well, your mom helped you with your gift! Wait, oppa? and now you wanna call me oppa?”

Once again Alice burst into a laughing fit. She tiptoed in front of Seunghyun and pinched his cheeks.

“Ahh Hyunnie oppa, are you trying to practice for a first date? Who’s the unlucky girl?” she asked cheekily. Her brown doe eyes glimmered under the Christmas lights.

“No, oppa is trying to teach you how to behave your little head if some guy asks you for a date. I’m worried maybe you might scare the guy away or I might have put the standard too high for them.”

Seunghyun dived in, inching his face towards her. He smiled goofily in front of her, batting his eyelashes. He cunningly gave her a kiss on cheek.

“Euw, again full of yourself!” She teased pushing Seunghyun’s face away from her.

“I’m awesome right?” Seunghyun arrogantly complimented himself. Alice immediately made loud gagging noises as she bent over to the ground pretending to be vomiting.

SEUNGHYUN

Alice couldn’t stop thanking me for the birthday surprise I gave her but little that she knew that I would give her the world if she asked me. We enjoyed the hot chocolate and the cake together. I silently stared at her face as she went on talking. A million thoughts were running through my mind.

How can someone I’ve known my whole life make my heart flutter?

Alice stood up from her seat as she brushed off the snow from her pants. She looked through the telescope I built for her. She was smiling the whole time as she stared at the stars that night. It was amazing that somehow it stopped snowing that day and the sky above us was as clear as a summer’s night. She called me over to look through the telescope. I stood from my seat and approached the telescope. The stars were beyond amazing and it left me gawking. I went back to my seat and we both lay on the blanket as we stared at the stars above, side by side.

“I think that’s a satellite.” She remarked as she pointed to the sky.

“Maybe.” I answered. We stayed quiet for a while. We were enjoying the cold breeze as it blew through the trees.

I can do this. I’m going to tell her now.

My heart was beating and drumming against my chest. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. I felt the heat escape through my face in nervousness. My lips went dry and chapped. I felt short of breath as I was about to put my heart on my sleeve. I gulped hard, feeling the lump building inside my throat. Why was this so hard? I thought to myself.

“Alice, I think I like you. I might even love you.”

There, I’ve said it. Deep down I may have realized that what I was feeling has been there for quite some time.

I couldn’t look at her so my eyes were fixed on the constellation of stars above us. My hands that pillowed my head began feeling numb. Why wasn’t she saying anything? Slowly I looked to my right where Alice laid next to me. It was then that I realized that she was dead to the world before hearing what I had to say. So in actual fact, I was talking to myself. I stared at her sound asleep. I kept on staring at her sleep. I could clearly see the faint freckles on her cheeks and in my mind I was connecting them like dots or like the constellation of stars above. Suddenly it made sense to me. I loved all the little things she did, all those little details about her made me fall for her. It was then that I finally admitted it to myself that she was my first love.

Why does she even look pretty sleeping? We’ve had sleepovers before; her sleeping is nothing new to me. What’s wrong with you Choi Seunghyun?

I bit my chapped lips, thinking. I turned to look at the sky once again. I drowned myself in my thoughts. Every now and then the wind chime would ring when the wind blew. My hand unconsciously grabbed Alice’s who was still asleep next to me. The touch of my hand woke her up. She turned to look at me. I smiled at her and she smiled back, squeezing my hands that held onto hers. Again, my little heart began pounding against my chest and it was thumping hard. Was I the only one feeling this or was she too? I thought to myself. Slowly but suddenly crisp white snow began drifting down on us. I didn’t want the moment to end so I simply enjoyed the feeling of the snow falling on my face and stayed mimed.

“If we’re letting ourselves get covered by snow, I don’t think we will make it until Christmas.” Alice chimed as she sat upright facing me.

It was just another beautiful Saturday morning as the sun was just shyly peeking through the fluffy white clouds. The trees around them were beginning to lose colour as the colour of autumn began to settle in. The light September breeze was blowing gently causing the brown crisp leaves to rustle with each touch of the wind. The street was bustling with early visitors that hovered up and down the stretch of road looking at the things sold at the flea market. Seunghyun and Alice were among those early visitors. The two teenagers strolled through the street looking at the things being sold, stopping every now and then. Seunghyun was happily on his chocolate ice cream cone when suddenly Alice jumped in delight next to him as they passed by a tiny booth at the end of the road.

“Try this. It would look so good on you.” Alice picked up a black fedora up from the display. She tiptoed to put it on his head, styling it so a little clump of his hair would peek out the front. Seunghyun simply allowed himself to be experimented on without complain. Satisfied with her styling skills she paid the vendor for the hat.

“How much do I need to pay you?” he asked.

“Ney, this is on me. You’ll pay next time.”

He poked his finger into the ice cream in hand. He then suddenly touched Alice’s nose with his dirty hand, staining her nose with the blob of ice cream. He then laughed nonstop seeing her face dirty.

“Gomawo.”

She was taken aback by his sudden tease that Alice hit his arms with all her might. She glared threateningly at him.

“Kyaa!! Is that how you say thank you?”

“I was only playing. You don’t have to pout so cutely like that.” He said as he wiped the ice cream from her nose with his thumb. He even managed to pinch her cheeks lightly after that. Alice stayed mimed. Seunghyun then handed her his ice cream but she didn’t take it.

“Hold this for me please.”

He said as he bended down, giving his back to Alice.

“Now what are you trying to do?”

Seunghyun stood up and turned to face her. He then placed her free hand on his shoulder, once again crouching down and turning his back to her.

“My punishment pabo. Now get on.”

Slowly Alice hoped on his broad back with one hand holding onto his unfinished ice cream while the other hooked around Seunghyun’s neck. Without much difficulty he stood up with Alice on his back and he began walking away from the flea market.

“Feed me my ice cream.” He chuckled. A playful smirk was dancing on his face because he knew Alice was frowning.

“You do realize that we look cheesy like this right?” she asked.

“Look like what?”

“You piggyback me and me feeding you with ice cream?”

“It’s not like best friends can’t be sweet to each other.” He said nonchalantly and he continued walking as he carried Alice on his back. They went on like that all the way home, talking about his weird dreams and her insecurities, sharing every little secret together.