It was a beautiful Saturday morning. The winter breeze blew gently across the city. The streets were decorated with Christmas lights, red, blue, green and yellow. We walked hand in hand towards an art studio in the bustling centre of Hongdae. Youngsters were already taking out their guitars and drum, busking. The crowd was beginning to pour in. I pulled her closer towards me. We went on walking until we reached the glass door that had an amazing woodwork framing the door. A friend of mine, Jinjoo had recently set up an art studio here in Hongdae and she was kind enough to take us on a private tour of her exclusive studio. Jinjoo greeted us warmly as she pulled the door opened for us.

“Hello, come in come in.” she greeted.

“Nice to see you. It’s been so long. This is Alice, my girlfriend. Alice this is Jinjoo.” I said.

“I think I saw you once in New York but I don’t remember when.”

“I’ve been to New York a couple of times.” Alice answered.

“Yeah, Jinjoo was one of the artist I featured in the very first exhibition I curated, about Asian art. You went to that, remember?”

She nodded with a smile.

“How long have you guys been dating?” Jinjoo asked.

“It will be a year next week. But we’ve been best friends since we we’re 5.” I answered.

“How wonderful. So Seunghyun, Alice, I was thinking of doing an impromptu art class with you two. Just for try.”

“Sure, why not. Just don’t expect a nice picture from me.” Alice jokingly answered. Jinjoo ushered us towards one of the studios. It was a well-lit room with two canvases on an easel leaning against one another in the centre with chairs on each side, facing each other. A large black velvet curtain hung on the far side of the studio. It was then that I noticed Alice scrunch in worry.

“Relax, you can draw like a 5-year-old and I’d still love you regardless.” I whispered into her ears.

“Easy for you to say. There’s so many tubes.”

“Please have a seat.” Jinjoo instructed. We both obediently took our seats opposite one another, blocked by the huge canvas and easel.

“This is something I’ve been wanting to try for a while. It’s kinda like couples therapy. A psychologist I meet in Los Angeles introduced me to this concept of Art Therapy.”

“So, basically we are your guinea pigs.” I answered, smirking cunningly at Jinjoo.

“Seunghyun please. Okay, Alice please describe your favourite memory of Seunghyun. Seunghyun, you will have to draw out that memory.”

“Whoa, that’s hard. There’s so many. Let me think.”

Alice stayed silent for a while as she thought deep and hard.

“It was when we first started dating. We went for a long walk at the beach. We watched the sunset. The wind was blowing in my hair. We were at the beach so long that the stars came out and so we laid on the ground, he didn’t let go of my hand, not even once. For a while we watched the stars. But because Seunghyun had been in a really long flight and he was fighting his jetlag, he fell asleep almost instantly. About 15 minutes later, rain suddenly poured down and I was scrambling to get up and wake him at the same time. But by the time, he was finally awake and alert, we were both soaking wet. We were drenched to the bones. We were laughing like children. Then he pulled me into his arms and said “We’re already wet, why don’t we dance in the rain instead.” I was flabbergasted that I didn’t know how to respond. And he dipped me low, twirled me in the muddy sand and rain poured even harder but he just didn’t stop. I went along with it even though there was no music. We were dirty and wet but I had fun. He makes me feel young again.”

By the time, she had finished explaining, I had also finished my drawing. It wasn’t much but it was the best I could do. Alice stood up and made her way towards me. She stared at what I had painted and chuckled a little.

“It’s hard to admit that it’s nice. You did a good job.”

“Well, you will have a tough time trying to top this.” I answered mockingly.

“Okay, Seunghyun, now is your turn.”

“I’ve had a crush on her since forever, I can’t exactly remember when my feelings for you changed but throughout the years it became stronger. I wanted to be certain about my feelings that I went to your wedding and I couldn’t bring myself to face anyone. I actually made it to the resort. All I could do was watch from far as you walked down the aisle towards another man. I then turned around and flew back to New York on the next flight out.”

Alice reached out her hands to me, and I squeezed them lightly with a smile on my face. She mouthed an I love you at me. I cleared my throat and continued.

“But if I had to choose one memory that is my ultimate favourite, it would have to be this one time. It was New Year’s Eve and it was your first visit to New York. We had been walking at Central Park. It had stopped snowing and the weather was just nice. Then we made our way to see the Rockefeller Christmas tree and there was this bench facing the tree and the ice rink.”

Suddenly, the huge black curtain from the other side of the studio tore apart and revealed a scaled replica of the bench and the Rockefeller Christmas tree. The whole setup was beautifully decorated with fairy lights that hung from the ceiling. The tree stood magnificently as the centrepiece. I stood up from my seat and pulled Alice closer, leading her towards the bench. Alice gawked speechless at the whole setup. We both sat at the bench, not a single word escaped her.

ALICE

I was lost for words. As I stared admiringly at Seunghyun. He held my hands tight as he lead the way towards the bench. His soft brown eyes glistened under the stunning fairy lights. We sat there as he continued.

“And we sat at the bench eating hot caramel pudding. Then you freaked out at how tasty the pudding was and you said you wanted to make one that taste just as good. A thought came to me at the time and it was that no matter how petty the situation was that you freaked out so badly, my feelings for you were as strong as ever. And at that moment I realized that no matter how silly your shenanigans were, I still love you no matter what.”

Out of the blue he got down to one knee, still holding my hand firmly in his. I knew what was coming. He was going to propose. My heart was racing and thumping against my chest. My eyes became blurry as tears began flooding. No words could escape my mouth. All I could do was breath. A chill was running down my spine and a million butterflies were released inside of me.

“Marry me.”

“What?” I blurted out. Why did I say what? I was supposed to say yes. The small voices in my head questioned. Why did I spoiled the moment by blurting out what?

“Marry me. I don’t expect you to believe me when I say I love you just because I said it. I need to show you that I love you. Loving you is more than just , kisses and late night binge watching on Netflix together. Loving you means tossing and turning restlessly when you didn’t answer my phone calls because I worry that you might have gotten hurt. Loving you is about asking the details of your day and trying hard to remember the names of your staff and co-workers, so I could follow along with your ramblings and stories. Loving you means waking up to an alarm that goes off in the middle of the night because where you are, it was already time for breakfast. Loving you is yelling at you when you do something silly because I can’t imagine a life if I was forced to live without you. All those years wasted because I was blind and scared to realize that all I ever needed was right in front of me. All I ever needed was you. I want to grow old with my best friend. I want to help my wife raise her child and her child after that. I love you Alice Park, will you marry me?”

He was holding out a black velvet box open in front of me. Inside was a glimmering diamond ring with a princess cut that was held beautifully to a rose gold ring band. I could no longer holdback my tears as I nodded a yes. A huge smile cracked across his handsome face as he fastens the ring to my ring finger. A huge wave of emotions bubbled up inside of me. I loved this man beyond words. I pulled him by his collar so I could kiss him. He obliged. He pulled my petite frame into his arms and carried me ever so easily.

Suddenly a crowd of people burst into the studio with balloons and loud cheers. I could see Lily running towards us and behind her were my parents and Seunghyun’s parents, his noona and Yeonjun. Lily hugged us tightly.

“We’re going to be a family.” She chimed happily.

“Wait, there’s something I wanted to give to you. I’ve been keeping it for a while now. I wanted to surprise you on our anniversary but I think now is a better time. That everyone is here.”

I rummaged through my bag to fetch a blue wrapped box with a red ribbon on top. I handed the package to Seunghyun.

“What is this?” he chuckled.

“Open it.”

Excitedly he tore through the wrapping paper and ribbon. A goofy smile formed on his face as he read the name on the box.

“Oh my God, the new iPad pen. Yeobo, how did you get this? It’s not even available here yet. Thank you.” He eagerly opened the box and suddenly his face changed. A puzzle looked painted across his face as he picked up the blue coloured stick. He gawked in amazement as he read the words on the blue stick.

“Is this?” His hands clasped to cover his gawking mouth. I nodded, nervously waiting for his response.

“I’m going to be a father? We’re having a baby?” Again, I nodded. I couldn’t help myself from smiling.

I could see tears trickling from his eyes. He jumped in joy, throwing his fist into the air. Our family began crowding as I heard gasp and awes escape them.

Tears came streaming down my face as he pulled me into his arms. Seunghyun gently rubbed my back as I cried tears of joy onto his chest. When we pulled away, he too had tears running down his face. He was so happy.

SEUNGHYUN

I was over the moon. Not only did she said yes to my proposal but we were going to have a baby together. I was going to start a family and grow old with my best friend. Initially, I suggested to have a wedding after having the baby but Alice wanted to be married before the baby’s arrival. Lily however, suggested that we should have a June wedding because of the summer holidays but Alice would be 7 months pregnant by then, and she didn’t want to ‘seem’ pregnant at the altar. So, in the end we settled for a Spring wedding in April. Alice has also finally agreed to move to New York with me on the basis that Lily was about to start college at NYU. A small part inside me swelled with pride seeing Lily follow in my footsteps, even though biologically she wasn’t mine, but we had things in common. I was spending my time back and forth between Seoul and New York. I still had to work but at the same time, we had to prepare for the wedding and I can’t leave Alice to handle it on her own. Especially not when her morning sickness was so bad. Most of the time, it would be so bad that she couldn’t even get out of bed and I had to go to open her restaurants. Every morning she would be hell bent, sitting on the floor with her face in the bowl, vomiting almost all the contains of her stomach. At times like that, as I held up her hair and rubbed her back, I felt both sorry and guilty for her. Guilty because she was going through so much pain, carrying our baby. Sorry because, if she was this sick when she had Lily, she must have been awfully lonely without anyone by her side.

It was late afternoon when she finally had the strength to get out of bed. I held onto her tightly as we made our way towards the bridal shop for our third dress fitting. Lily tagged along because she wanted to choose her maid of honour dress. And because it didn’t seem cool to walk with her mother and soon-to-be step dad, she paced two steps ahead of us. She would glance back towards us before turning a corner. Alice laughed at her daughter’s behaviour. I kissed the top of her head as we entered the shop.

“What was that for?” she asked, she was looking up at me with her dazzling hazel eyes.

“For marrying me.”

“You know, you are not allowed to see the bride in her dress before the wedding.”

“Oh please love, that’s taboo.” I answered with a chuckle.

We tried our outfits separately and as expected, by the time I was done she had only finish trying the hanboks. I slipped silently into the waiting room and sat on the big comfy couch next to Lily. When Alice finally stepped out of the dressing room, my eyes lit up immediately. She was wearing a diamond white satin dress with a high neckline. The empire waist dress trailed a few feet behind her. It fitted nicely on her body and barely showed her now bulging 4 months’ stomach. Her brown chestnut hair complemented the shimmer golden circlet she had on her head. She looked like a Greek goddess. I couldn’t help from staring. She was as beautiful as ever. My heart was drumming with all its might and I couldn’t stop smiling goofily.

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. The bright spring sunlight flooded into the room. Illuminating each part of the rustic décor inside. Her eye fluttered open and her eyesight was welcomed by the sight of Seunghyun’s broad shoulders. Alice turned her body to face Seunghyun who was still fast asleep. Her fingers traced his handsome face when suddenly a smile cracked on his lips and his eyes still closed.

“Good morning gorgeous.” He croaked as he swung his legs around her petite frame and wrapped his arms, pulling her closer to him. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Your breath stinks.” She protested as she pushed his face away.

“Fine I won’t give you morning kisses anymore.”

She was quick to respond by playfully pecking his lips repeatedly.

“Then I will.” She said.

“Babe, I have a surprise for you.” He said as he pulled out his phone from the bedside drawer. His fingers tapped lightly on the screen as he scrolled through his phone before showing it to Alice.

“Let’s wake up in Paris.” He exclaimed in excitement.

“Oh, my god! I’ve always wanted to go to Paris. Wait, but I’ll be 6 months pregnant by then.”

“Which is why it being the best time to go. It will be our honeymoon slash babymoon. Maybe we can make another baby too, while we are at it.”

“You’re crazy but I love you.” She uttered as she his hair lovingly.

“We can dance beneath the Eiffel. And I can show you all the city lights. We can kiss by the waterside or have wine beneath the stars.”

“You have wine, I can’t, that’s not fair.”

“I’ll have wine for you my love.”

“Oh, oh, we can have dinner at Chef Phillippe’s. I haven’t seen him in ages!”

“Alright. And you can wear your high heels and that favourite strapless red dress of yours.”

“I can’t wear that, it’s skin tight and I’m an elephant now.”

“Fret not my love, you are lovelier than ever.” He pulled her into his arms and squished her close to his broad chest. He caressed her soft delicate skin. They were so in love.

They stayed in bed kissing and cuddling a few more minutes until they were interrupted by a bang on the door.

“What is it Lily?” Alice shouted from the bed.

“Omma, I’m going to Yeonjun’s house. We’re going to study.”

Alice pouted to Seunghyun, irritated that they were rudely interrupted. He pinched her cheeks and answered, “Bye kiddo. I’m going back to New York tonight. Tell noona I’m going to swing by at her place before my flight.”

“I’m not a kid anymore Seunghyun appa!” she shouted behind the door.

“Is this how it feels like to have a kid?” he asked.

“Well, you haven’t felt having a 3-year-old waking you up in the middle of the night asking you to scare away the monster under her bed. Or a baby crying for no reason at 4 in the morning.”

“Well, I will. Soon. Isn’t that right little peanut.” He said, planting kisses repeatedly on her growing bump. She giggled, as she pushed away his head from her.

“Do you really have to go? It’s only 4 weeks to our wedding.” she asked, frowning and pouting at the same time. Deep down inside I wondered how she could look sad and cute at the same time.

“I know, I don’t want to leave you and the baby but there’s this Chinese Jade that just came in and they really wanted me to examine it first. I’ll be back in 2 weeks and that’s equal to 2 weeks before the wedding,1 week to the next ultrasound and 3 weeks until Paris. I’ll be back before you know it.” I held her soft hands to my lips and kissed them again and again.

“But I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll miss you even more my love. I’ll facetime you every night and every morning.” I cupped her puffed cheeks in my hands.

“The baby misses you too.” She replied with a sullen tone.

“Baby you be nice to omma. Don’t be too naughty in there peanut. Appa has a bit of work to do in New York. When you are big enough, appa is going to take you there.” Everyone that passed by us stared acknowledging. I was shamelessly down on my knees, talking to my fiancé’s belly. I rubbed and kissed my baby goodbye.

“Did you feel that?” Alice excitedly exclaimed as she pressed my hands even harder against her belly. A tingle of excitement seeped through me as we shared the very first moment our child moved.

“He kicked.” She said.

“He?” I asked.

“I have a feeling this is a boy.”

“I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, I just want you two to be healthy. Don’t forget to eat your vitamins and food. And stay at your mom’s place until I get back, arasso?”

“Ok. Ok.”

“I’m going to miss you more. I’ll call you when I reach there ok?”

“Ok, promise?” She extended her pinky finger at me. I chuckled at how childish this was but I excepted it anyway.

“I love you so much.”

She huge smile cracked across her face. “I love you too. Now go, or you’ll miss your flight.” She waved one last time as she took a step backwards and turned to walk back to the car. I looked at her back as she walked away.

“Baby, baby, baby!” I shouted as I dragged my luggage towards her. She turned and anticipated what I had to say. She looked puzzled.

“I forgot to do this.” I answered as I held her back and pulled her body against mine. I dipped her body low and we kissed, a long passionate kiss. Like one of those goodbye kisses in movies where they don’t want to be apart but they had to.

SEUNGHYUN

My legs gave up on me as the numbness flowed throughout my whole body. My heart hurt so bad but raced furiously at the same time. My judgement was clouded by the pain that stung my body. I couldn’t do anything, nor could I move my muscles. As I said, I was numb all throughout. I sprawled on the cold marbled ground of one of the world’s busiest airport, clutching onto my phone as tears wouldn’t stop flowing down my face. The pain I felt in my heart was as real as needles pricking the skin. I wanted to scream and shout the agony away but nothing came out of me except more tears. I was weeping like a lost child.