Alice couldn’t believe her eyes as she read the letter repeatedly line by line. She has just got off her shift when she found the letter in her mailbox. Her hands were trembling with excitement. She jumped, she screamed and shriek in front of her house doorstep. She then sprinted across the street to share the awesome news with Seunghyun. She was tingling all over and smiling from ear to ear. Hastily she knocked on the door but was welcomed by Seunghyun’s elder sister, Hyeyoun. I bowed politely at her.

“Good morning unnie. Is Seunghyun home?”

“He is but he is sort of busy. How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Oh its ok I can wait. I’m good.”

“Sure. Come in. You haven’t been here these couple of months.”

“Oh well, Seunghyun is always busy and I wouldn’t want to disturb him.”

“Ha, busy.” She snorted sarcastically.

She welcomed Alice into their house. She was all too familiar with the house that she didn’t need help finding the living room. She sat on the comfy arm chair that faced the television.

“So, where’s abeonim and eomonim?”

“They went to the country side for the weekend.”

“Oh that’s nice.”

“Do you want anything to drink? I was about to make some toast, would you like some?” Hyeyoun politely offered.

“No its ok. I haven’t been feeling well lately and I’m afraid if I eat anything I might throw up.”

“Ok I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me. Make yourself at home. I’m sure you still remember where everything is and oh turn on the TV if you want to.”

Alice nodded knowingly at Seunghyun’s sister who then left her in the living room alone. She switched on the TV and flipped through all the channels. What’s taking Seunghyun so long she thought to herself? She sat lazily in the huge arm chair, fighting with the urge to vomit. She has been under the weather recently but nothing can stop the happiness she was feeling right now. New York was waiting for them. Alice was lost in her thoughts but was brought back by a creak of the floor. She turned her head towards the direction of the source, hoping it was Seunghyun. She pulled out the letter from the pocket of her pants. Her hopes were crushed when she realized it was none other than Bom. She was wearing what Alice recognized as one of Seunghyun’s white shirt. The way she was wearing the oversized shirt made it extra y.

“Oh Alice, I didn’t know you were here.” She flushed as she pulled down the shirt to further cover her legs. Alice was awestruck as she stared at Bom. Now she knew what was keeping Seunghyun so occupied.

“I had something I needed to talk to Seunghyun about.”

“Oh but Seunghyun is asleep right now. You know how tiring it is after you know what. He is just really good at it.” Bom winked and giggled cutely. Without saying anything more Alice stormed out through the door and back home. Sprawled in her own bed, she cried but also fumed in anger. She hated to admit it but she despised the way Bom talked, the way she smiled, the way how she would constantly make cute aegyos at Seunghyun. Everything about her made Alice’s insides churn in agony. Every time she opened Alice wished she could punch all her perfect teeth out.

Dear Ms Park,

It is with great pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted as a student at the Institute of Culinary Arts New York. ICANY is the world’s leading culinary experts in where you will be able to join a community of top class chefs and world renowned alumni. The term of your study with the institute is of full scholarship for international students. Registration forms are to be submitted online before the start of the semester on the 1^st of September as a sign of acceptance to this offer. We are looking forward to see you join our institute and that your highest potential is unlocked by our esteemed line of educators.

Thank you,

The Dean of admission,

The Institute of Culinary Arts New York.

Instant message from: Alice

Alice : Seunghyun I need to talk to you.

Seunghyun : Ok. Talk here.

Alice : No it’s something face to face.

Seunghyun : Can it wait? I’m about to have lunch with Bommie’s parents.

Seunghyun : Cool right?

Seunghyun : Talk to you later? Bye.

Alice : Bom, her parents, and you fancy lunch and YOU!

I was about to press send, my thumb hovered above the send button. I contemplated for a while but I decided against it, not telling him would probably be the best.

Alice : Never mind, it is not important anyway.

My head was buzzing, my heart was aching and my body was numb. Suddenly the future I painted for myself with Seunghyun was torn apart and ripped into pieces. I just couldn’t stop crying as I sprawled on the floor in my dark room. My future was dark and I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt as if I was being deeper and deeper into nothingness as I wept to my heart’s contain. My parents would definitely be really disappointed in me, being their only child I have messed up big time. The memories of that night flashed in my mind repeating itself like a broken record. How could I have let myself get thrown into this mess? I was beginning to regret everything in my pathetic life. Maybe dying would simply be better.