*this is a request by KumaIUGD as a present for my little game.. hope you like it

"I'm exhausted. "

Those words are words that Leo commonly hear from s and even he himself says it all the time. There's nothing wrong with those words; they're merely a statement. It hurts nor offends anyone. 

But when that statement comes from this one person, Leo feels horrible. This one person never complaint no matter how tired he is, he would always just endure everything all by himself and get things done in one way or another, regardless of his own exhaustion. 

So that day, when that person finally voices out his exhaustion, Leo feels as if his heart just breaks into a million pieces. 

"I'm home. "

It is almost midnight when N walks into the dorm, greeting the rest of s who are scattered in the living room, having a movie marathon since they have the weekend off. 

"Welcome home. "They say simultaneously but no one actually looks up at the leader as he enters, mainly because they're too engrossed in the movie rather than trying to ignore him. 

Leo, who was in the kitchen to grab some snacks for his dongsaengs, peek his head out to acknowledge N but then he notices that instead of heading straight into the bedroom like always, N walks over to their balcony instead, quietly sliding the door open and stepping outside into the coldness of the night. 

Curious and a bit worried, Leo immediately trails after him once he has given his dongsaengs their snack. 

When Leo finally steps outside into the balcony, N is leaning against the rail, staring off at the night's sky, his jacket lay forgotten near his feet. 

"Hakyeon? "He calls out softly, touching the leader's shoulder, which manages to get him some attention. 

"Hey. "N mutters, giving him a weak smile before returning his gaze back to the sky, as if it's that interesting to watch. 

"Are you alright? "Leo wonders, frowning. He couldn't read people's emotion like N does but he knows N isn't quite himself at that moment. To be honest, he was expecting N to say his usual answer, which would probably be 'I'm fine', or 'I'm just thinking' but he certainly didn't expect N to tell him that he's exhausted. 

"I'm really,really exhausted, Taekwoon. "N admits, voice barely a whisper as he glance back into the dorm through the transparent sliding door, making sure no one else heard him. "Everything is so tiring. "

Leo is so taken aback by the sudden confession that he goes quiet, not knowing what to say. It's rare for N to expose his vulnerability like this to him or even anyone so why now? 

"Sometimes, I feel like leaving all my responsibilities behind and just disappear to a place where no one can find me. Sometimes, I've just had enough of all the expectations, all the pressure that I want nothing but to be free of them. Sometimes, I wish I was just Cha Hakyeon, just a normal man instead of VIXX's leader N. "

N sounds so earnest, so weary that Leo feels his heart drop but still, he couldn't find the right words to say so he just stays quiet and listens as N continues to pour his heart out. 

"You know, Taekwoon? I'm so happy that I'm here now, doing what I'm doing, with all of you by my side. I'm so happy that we're fighting for our dreams together, as one. But I can't help but wonder what if we never met? What if we never crossed path? What if I'm never VIXX's leader and instead, just a school teacher like what I dreamt to be? Will I be happier then? Will I feel less pressured then? Will my life be more enjoyable then? "

Leo's heart continue to sink further at that. Listening to N's words, it makes his feel like N regretted meeting them and it scares him if that's true. He can't never imagine life without N, life without the person who broke his ice shell and allow him to shine, life without the person who let him show the world the real him, life without his leader, life without his life long friend. Life without N, he realises, probably wouldn't make him feel like living at all. 

"Do you regret it? Do you regret being our leader? "

The question is blunt and N chuckles as soon as he heard it. 

"No, I don't. I don't regret it. "He answers simply. "But I wish my life as your leader isn't so lonely like now. I wish there's someone whom I can share my responsibility with, share my worries with. "

"You have us. You have me. "Leo says immediately and N just smiles. 

"I share my happiness and sadness with you but that's all. My responsibilities as a leader, my worries as a leader, the burden I carry as a leader, I can never share all that with you. You'll never understand. "He says and Leo knows he's right. He can't never understand but that doesn't mean that he can't try. 

"I may not be a leader like you are, I may not be as strong as you are, I may not be the perfect person that'll ease your loneliness but I'm your friend, Hakyeon. I'm your life long friend. I may not understand your worries, I may not carry the same responsibilities and burden as you but I'm your friend, I'm here for you. You are not alone. You have me. You  can lean on me. I may not be strong enough to hold the weight of the things you carry but I'm strong enough for you. I can carry your weight. I can hold you when you feel bad, when you feel exhausted, when you feel like giving up. I'm here and you can lean on me as I swear I'll never let you fall. "

At those sincere words, the tears that N has been holding in finally drops and his knees goes weak but before he can even touch the floor, Leo has catch him and holds him tight, just like how he said he would. 

"You can lean on me, Hakyeon. "