[CHAPTER 29]

"Nostalgia"

It was rather awkward.

It's been three days to be exact since Taekwoon have started living with Hyuk. He didn't particularly like the kid and in fact, he's often thought that Hyuk was getting in his way even when he was still a kid. 

Taekwoon ate his dinner in silence while Hyuk was not even giving him any attention as he watched the television. 

Taekwoon was supposed to have died. Even Hyuk was there during his 'funeral' but Taekwoon changed that. He changed the younger's memories but he didn't change how the younger felt about Hakyeon.

"How was school?" Taekwoon asked.

"The usual," Hyuk didn't even look at him.

Taekwoon rewrote the younger's memories with the same method that he used in order to erase Hongbin from Hakyeon's memories. Once more, he was alive again but only in Hyuk's book. The younger have forgotten that Taekwoon have died but instead, he took Taekwoon in while the older was hiding from Hakyeon. Taekwoon lied to the younger, saying that he and Hakyeon had a huge fight a few years ago due to a misunderstanding and he's been meaning to make it up to Hakyeon. Hyuk believed in that lie, at least he was written to believe in that lie and thought that the only reason why Hakyeon was so broken at one point was because of this 'fight'. Taekwoon told the younger that he had no where to go and he wanted to make it up to Hakyeon. 

Taekwoon knew that Hakyeon was Hyuk's weakness even since he was a kid. He was so easy to manipulate whenever it comes to Hakyeon, so as irritating as it was to be next to the younger, Taekwoon decided to endure the awkwardness. 

"It's golden week right?" Taekwoon tried his best to get the younger talking.

"Yeah," Hyuk was acting very indifferent towards him.

"How's Hakyeon?" 

That got Hyuk paying attention again. Just the name of the older made Hyuk turn his attention towards Taekwoon finally.

"He's good. It's the usual," the younger answered in hesitation.

"Really?"

"Yes really. He even brought some friends over to visit the school grounds," Hyuk said with a rather annoyed tone.

"Jealous?" Taekwoon hit the mark.

"I-" Hyuk stuttered. "It's annoying. People coming into Hakyeon-hyung's life and stuff... you and those guys..."

"If we annoy you so much, why'd you take me in? You could've turned me away when you had the chance," Taekwoon challenged him despite the fact that he knew very well that the younger couldn't refuse him no matter what.

"If it wasn't because of Hakyeon-hyung, I wouldn't even care if you die somewhere but Hakyeon-hyung would be heartbroken if you died so... I can't do that," Hyuk said in defeat.

The younger was indeed too in love with Hakyeon and anyone could see it, even Taekwoon who is usually oblivious about how other's feel knew exactly how Hyuk felt. He managed to make Hyuk be unable to refuse him and have him offer his hospitality towards Taekwoon but it was obvious that Hyuk was regretting it a bit.

It only took a small push, a bit of rewriting and soon, Hyuk's story took a different turn. His memories have changed and the paths of his fate was beginning to shift. 

Taekwoon knew it was wrong, that it was illegal and that he would definitely be reprimanded by the council if he's caught but he's willing to take all risks in order to set Hakyeon's fate to where it should be.

Once more, Taekwoon was going to end Hakyeon's life and he'll be the one putting an end to everything. 

~

Hongbin was left on his own accord at InGuk's place to hide while InGuk went back to retrieve Hakyeon's book. Since he had nothing better to do, he decided to clean up the place even if he wasn't certain how long he was going to stay there for. He started with the room he was staying in, dusting out the room, mopping everything and even washing the sheets. Then, he began sweeping through the entire house because he couldn't bare looking at how dusty and untouched the entire house was.

What am I doing? He thought to himself as he continued cleaning. He knew it was ridiculous to be cleaning up someone else's home but he couldn't help it, he really couldn't leave the place in such a state. 

After he finished cleaning, he flopped down onto the couch and looked up at the chandelier hung high above in the living room. It reminded him a lot of the one he had back at the bookstore and he couldn't help but reminisce the past with Hakyeon. He knew what Hakyeon liked even before he met Hakyeon because he's always read about the older's story. He knew that Hakyeon was particularly interested in vintage interiors and even longed to find a bookstore that fits that aesthetic. So, Hongbin hunted down every store around Gwangju in order to decorate it to Hakyeon's interest.

"I miss you," he said in a voice that almost wanted to break down.

How long has it been since he's been separated from Hakyeon? It's been so long yet there was no way he could forget. During the time in which Hakyeon have forgotten about Hongbin, the older was able to live peacefully like all day was the same. However, Hongbin on the other hand was in despair. He lost the will to continue doing anything at all except think about Hakyeon everyday and how powerless he was with the entire situation. If only he had the power to fight back, was all he could think of. It was only a what 'if' that he kept thinking about yet he couldn't put those words into action. It was harder said than done especially when he knew that the entire facility was against him. How could he fight all those people alone? And with what?

But now, he was given another reason to try once more. He's still as powerless as ever but the difference now is the fact that there are people who stands by his side. Both Jaehwan and Wonshik, who had such a bright future ahead of them, decided to ditch it all and fight for Hongbin's happiness. That's the one thing Hongbin never thought the two would do, yet there they are, inside of Hakyeon's story and helping Hongbin meet Hakyeon once more. Just when Hongbin thought he was all alone, both Jaehwan and Wonshik remained by his side. Even since he was a kid, Wonshik never gave up on this useless friend of his and Hongbin is forever grateful of that. 

However, the one person who allowed all of this to be possible is Seo InGuk after all. It's true that InGuk is still as careless as ever and probably is doing all of this for his own ego and resent towards the facility but if it wasn't for him, none of this would be brought to light. Hongbin might have shut himself inside of his room forever and one day, die of regret for not being able to do anything to fight for himself and see Hakyeon once more. If it wasn't for InGuk, neither Jaehwan or Wonshik would have realized that there was so many hidden secrets within the facility that's unknown to all the fools inside. 

It's true that Hongbin is powerless alone but now, he was given a reason to fight because there are people by his side. 

And more importantly, Hakyeon remembers him. Hakyeon is crying out for him and longing for Hongbin just as much as the younger is longing for the latter as well.

"I miss you," Hongbin said once more. His tears almost fell until he heard the door suddenly opening.

He popped up from his seat in alarm but only to realize that InGuk have finally returned.

"Catch," InGuk said immediately as he tossed a case straight at Hongbin.

"Woah! Watch it!" Luckily, Hongbin's reflex allowed him to catch the case right away but it was definitely not a safe thing for the older to have done. "What's this?"

"Open it."

Hongbin opened the case and immediately, he could feel his hands trembling with nostalgia. 

"This..." he felt his voice stuttering in surprise.

It was Hakyeon's book. But something was rather strange about the older's book. It was no longer the book that was covered completely in black ink and smudges, the pages were no longer ripped or scratched. Instead, it looked as if the book was slowly returning to the way it should have been.

'How?" Hongbin asked.

"Don't know either. Last time I opened it, it was still covered in black and gave me the creeps but when I went home earlier to retrieve it, this happened," InGuk said.

"Did anything strange happen?"

"Read it for yourself."

As instructed, Hongbin opened the book but he couldn't help and caressed the pages that were of his beloved's story. The words that were written on the page felt so nostalgic and it's been so long since Hongbin has even seen the book. 

Just how long has it been, Hakyeon-ah? Hongbin thought as he got teary-eyed.

He read every word carefully on every page without missing a single detail about Hakyeon's story. As he read through every happening, Hongbin could feel his heart aching little by little. He never thought that Hakyeon missed him so much, just as much as he missed the older. The two of them were suffering on their own, worlds apart and no way to contact one another for the longest time. But Hongbin was thankful, he was thankful for his friends Jaehwan and Wonshik who stayed by his side this entire time even if his decisions were wrong. Now, the two of them are on the other side along with Hakyeon and trying to figure out a way to help the two lovers reunite. 

"There's so much I want to say to him," Hongbin's voice broke out as he tried to recollect his feelings and stay calm.

"Like?" InGuk asked as he watched the younger break down next to him.

"So much I don't even know where to begin..."

InGuk stared silently at the broken Hongbin for a minute and let out a deep sigh.

"The two of you are so foolishly in love that you're helpless," the older said and dug something out from inside of his chest pocket. "Here."

"What?" Hongbin turned around to see what it was and to his surprise, InGuk handed him a piece of paper and pen. "This is?"

"Write what you want to tell Hakyeon in his book. Even though you can't enter inside of Hakyeon's story just yet, the least you can do is reassure him that you're doing fine right? He misses you just as much as you miss him after all. Cha Hakyeon's suffered enough just being played by fate so you should at least help him feel better by sending him a message right?"

"Is this the same note paper that I used before to talk to Wonshik when I was on the other side?" 

"Yeah. So knock yourself out but you better stop your tears after you're done," InGuk said as he left the younger alone to think for himself.

"I'm not crying," Hongbin said as he wiped his eyes stubbornly. 

Hongbin laid the piece of notebook paper in front of him and thought about every word he wanted to convey to Hakyeon who is on the other side. He wanted to make sure that every word he wrote on the paper counted and that he wouldn't waste it. He had so much to say yet was only given so little space at a time to do so. As he brought the pen closer to the page, his hand couldn't stop shaking with anxiety. 

Calm down, he told himself. I have to say it. I have to tell Hakyeon how I feel... tell him how much I miss him and how much I want to be with him again... this time, I won't run away. 

~

As promised, Hakyeon went to the supermarket with Jaehwan and Wonshik after work. Once again, Jaehwan wandered ahead by himself with excitement. 

"Hyung, wait up," Wonshik chased after the older.

"Hehe," Hakyeon couldn't help but find himself chuckling away watching those two play catch in the supermarket. It's been awhile since Hakyeon was really enjoying himself and it's all thanks to Hongbin's two friends. 

"I want to get this," Jaehwan waved at Hakyeon to join them.

"Coming!" Hakyeon went.

After a long time at the supermarket and their hands full of grocery, the three of them finally went back home. 

"We bought so much!" Jaehwan said excitedly.

"Sorry about this," Wonshik said to Hakyeon and sighed after knowing how much he must have spent of Hakyeon's money. They knew that Hakyeon doesn't have a lot of money to use for himself and yet, he's got two extra guests at his house.

"It's okay, don't worry about it," Hakyeon reassured him.

"We'll help make dinner," Jaehwan suggested.

"Sure."

"Just don't burn down the kitchen, hyung," Wonshik said. 

After dinner, the three of them gathered around the television and watched tv shows together. They laughed and talked about many things without a care as the night grew darker. Each of them took turns taking the shower as well before bed time but just as Hakyeon left the showers and ready to go to bed, Jaehwan and Wonshik rushed into his bedroom.

"Hakyeonie!" Jaehwan stormed in.

"W-what's wrong?" Hakyeon was completely flustered as he was still in the midst of putting on his pajamas on. 

"This."

Jaehwan handed Hakyeon a piece of paper with an expression of anticipation and maybe even excitement.

"It's from Hongbin," Wonshik said calmly unlike the other.

"Really?" Hakyeon took the piece of paper immediately and his heart beated loudly. "What is it?"

"A message for you. Here, take this too," Wonshik handed Hakyeon a pen.

"Hmm?"

"Once you have read the message, you can also write back to him. Give that idiot a reply or he'll be worried to death about you."

"I-I will!" 

Both Jaehwan and Wonshik smiled at Hakyeon, happy for the latter because he was finally able to talk to Hongbin who's still on the other side. There's so much that Hakyeon wanted to tell Hongbin about that he really didn't know where to begin. But he wasn't the only one feeling that way, because Hongbin was exactly the same. Even the first sentence of the letter was exactly that.

Hakyeon-ah,

I don't know where to begin or what to say. Honestly, even as I write this message for you, it feels so unreal and hard to believe. Do you really remember me? Everything about us? How have you been? You must have been sad and I'm sorry for not being able to be there by your side when you needed someone the most. I wish I had the power to get to you right away and I wish I could just tell you exactly how much I miss you.

I miss you. I love you. And I really wish to be by your side. 

Ever since I discovered your story, I have become intrigued by what kind of person you really are. Your story is full of mysteries and full of sorrow, that I unknowingly wanted to do something to help you. I knew that it was wrong to be curious and it was wrong of me to interfere with your life. But... it was the first time I've ever felt this way about anyone or anything for that matter. You're the first person who I've met that made me want to change and give my everything to. At first, I thought about just finding out the answer behind your story and leave afterwards but the more I knew about you, the more I fell in love. Before I could even stop myself, my mind and my heart could only think about you. I wanted to cherish you and give you everything you deserve because you've been through so much even though you never did anything wrong in the first place. 

I never knew that fate could be so cruel and painful. They had no right to decide your fate for you and change your story to however they wanted. It's unfair and unjust. 

When they erased your memories of me, I thought about finally giving up and moving on because there was no way that I'd be able to contact you again. I even thought that it would have been for the best that your story reverts back to how it should have been in the beginning. I continue to tell myself that but it's impossible after all. It hurts every time I thought about you and it hurts even more to realize that you're not by my side. I never realized just how much I have fallen for you. So much that I'm willing to throw away everything in order to be with you again. Are you the same as me? 

Is Jaehwan and Wonshik behaving properly? Jaehwan-hyung hasn't given you too much trouble has he? He doesn't ever act his age and sometimes can be annoying too because he's always so energetic but he's a really good guy. He tries to hide it but he's probably the one who worries about us the most. He's always been like that, nosy but caring at the same time. Then, there's Kim Wonshik. He and I don't really get along much even though we've known each other since we were kids. He's always nagging about me and my decisions, strict and demanding but at the same time, he really feels like an older brother. I guess that's just his way of caring. Don't let him know this but I really appreciate it. 

Those two can be a handful at times but they're both really good people. I can guarantee it. Although I'm unable to be by your side right now, just know that those two are people you can rely on and soon, very soon, we'll be together again. I promise.

As Hakyeon read the letter, the tears in his eyes flowed endlessly. He really did miss Hongbin. So much that his heart ached uncontrollably. His feelings were all over the place, happiness, sadness, and longing for the younge'rs warmth. There was so much affection poured into Hongbin's letter that Hakyeon couldn't help but caress the piece of paper with care and love. 

"I'm just the same as you, Hongbin-ah. I miss you so much," Hakyeon said as he caressed Hongbin's writing on the letter. Every word, every letter was so precious to him. 

Hakyeon really wanted to reply to Hongbin right away but he couldn't resist the urge to reread the letter over and over, so many times that he was lost in his own world - a world where he was reunited with Hongbin again. 

It's true what the younger said, fate is cruel and his fate have been played with over and over again. But Hakyeon couldn't resent fate for any of that because as cruel as fate was, he believes that it was also fate that allowed him to meet a young man named 'Lee Hongbin'. All of the sorrows and pain that he once had to endure, felt as if it was slowly washing away as he read the letter once more. He's never been more thankful to fate as he was now because it made him realize just how precious his love for Hongbin was and that he was indeed treasured a lot by Hongbin.

A/N: I know the updates are slow but it's December and there's a lot of lessons within a day before the end of the year. My students have increased these past few months and I've started to teach kids as well. So I'm fully booked to the point I have almost no time to sneak in a chapter or two for updates. Please be patient with the updates and I promise I will finish this story ~