I need you girl
Why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone
I need you girl
Why do I keep needing you when I know I’ll get hurt?

(I NEED U, BTS)

"For someone going through a breakup, you're holding up pretty well."

Hyuk ignored Gook Doo's remark, despite it being a compliment. He was too fascinated with the results on his computer screen. 

"I mean, it's been only  days and here you are, calm as a cucumber," continued the other detective, "Well, you are a man. Why would I expect you to break down in tears?"

The past two days revealed the kind of friend (yes, Hyuk already considered him as one) Gook Doo was when one went through a breakup. Despite having gone through heartbreaks himself, the other detective was a bit awkward at trying to console Hyuk. To be fair, Hyuk broke the news quite awkwardly as well. He didn't intend to tell anyone the station about it, but when Gook Doo entered the station, so confused with why Kim Sun Hee pulled out her case, of course Hyuk had to explain. 

It was really fortunate Gook Doo was the only that night; otherwise, he'd have to explain everything to everyone. Hyuk figured he could tell Gook Doo some of the details: of how Sun Hee said their relationship could disrupt their schedules in the future, of how she did what she had to so he wouldn't end up hating her -- all that stuff. 

But not the emotions, of course. 

Until now. 

It was already 11 PM and the station was somehow empty. In the Violent Crimes department, it was just him, Gook Doo, and Soo Ok (who asleep on his desk; poor kid). They were supposed to be wrapping up a case, but they ended up discussing Hyuk's broken relationship. 

"Aren't you supposed to be out drinking your feelings?" suggested Gook Doo.

"I don't have to."

"Why not?"

Cause I've done it last night already.

"Because I don't think it's necessary."

Gook Doo scoffed. "Ah trust Lee Hyuk to still be rigid despite a breakup," he remarked, "But come to think of it, I can't really come up with any other proper response. I sort of did the same thing when I got my heart broken."

The other detective started keeping his files as Hyuk went about his business. He typed fervently on his laptop, clicking on his mouse. These were the only sounds anyone can hear inside the Violent Crimes unit. 

"Are you emailing?" asked Gook Doo, "Because I already sent you the last batch."

"Yeah," replied Hyuk absentmindedly, "Doing that."

In reality, he was far from checking out the last batch of emails. His fingers typed letters on the search bar.

FIND. KIM SUN. HISTORY.

[ LAST NIGHT ]

Unlike the previous nights when he had troubles and a drinking buddy, Hyuk was very much alone in his favorite bar. Even the busiest patrons were gone for the night; it was just him and the bartender who served him his fourth bottle of Soju. His choice of drink astounded his bartender (who knew very well that beer was Hyuk's go-to drink); the latter thought that maybe his customer needed something stronger.

He was right: Hyuk needed something stronger. 

The detective easily opened his fourth bottle and clumsily poured himself an nth shot of Soju. He secretly wondered how his body coped with the excessive alcohol. He was a cop so he knew that if he drove home, someone would flag him down for DUI. He doubted that he could even drive.

I'll just walk.

It's only been a day or two since Sun Hee broke the news. Hyuk could barely remember how he got home that night: he recalled dropping by the nearest grocery shop and bagging 7 can of beer to take home. His self-control got the best of him so while he walked, he drank one can after the other. The next thing he could remember was waking up in his bed on a Sunday, head hurting and soul aching.

The reality that she left hit him hard that next day. When he saw no texts from her, it hit him even harder.

When night came, that's when he decided that a day of drinking or trying to forget isn't enough. He needed more time to detoxify his emotions with intoxicating alcohol. Fortunately, he still had plenty of reserves in his fridge. 

This was already the third night of his drinking splurge and he was drinking something stronger.

His surroundings were already becoming hazy, but Hyuk didn't mind. He was so torn-up whether he liked it or not; instead of facing it without the influence of alcohol. He took another piece of nut and chewed away, trying to drown himself.

"I don't want you to hate me."

I already hate you for doing this to me.

Unlike the previous heartbreaks, Sun Hee's goodbye was the most painful of them all. Hyuk couldn't understand why that was the case: they had only been dating for two months and only knew each other for nearly a year. The past girls took years out of his life; so why did Sun Hee's leaving hurt him so much...to the point that he just wished he could roll over and die?

This doesn't make sense.

He poured another shot and drank it all at once. 

"Everything about me is wrong."

He set the glass down and chuckled.

Everything about Sun Hee seemed wrong when he first met her: loud, obsessed with her looks, and too needy for her sake. It was one of the reasons why he cringed at the idea of protecting her. But for some strange reason, he got past these flaws and saw something else about her: she was the fresh breath of change he never knew he needed.

Why did she think she was wrong?

"It's not going to end well."

He poured another, remembering how she sounded so pessimistic, like she knew it was bound to happen. Hyuk should've seen this coming: didn't he already think that he was doomed for relationships? But Sun Hee beat him; recently, she kept saying that they wouldn't make it...that she wasn't right.

He stopped pouring. 

"If you really knew me, will you still accept me?"

Looking up, Hyuk stared at the dimmed lights of the bar, thinking back to that fateful night he found Sun Hee on her bed -- all cold and sick. His mind took him further, back to those times that Sun Hee brought up that fact.

"I...I'm not who you think I am."

"There are plenty of things you don't know about me, Lee Hyuk."

He looked at the shot glass below him, waiting for him to drink. For some reason, the detective immediately sobered up when he realized that there was something off with the situation. 

Something odd was happening and he couldn't point a finger at it. 

Hyuk fervently read through the articles about all the Kim Suns in the district. He scratched his head as he went through each one and none of them was similar to the Kim Sun he was looking for. There was too much of them, he had to store some in his phone. The station was closing and he knew DA Park wouldn't appreciate him wasting electricity in the department. 

"Gook Doo, are you going out?" he called to his fellow detective.

"Yeah, give me a second. I just need to brush my teeth."

Hyuk sighed as he closed his phone and rubbed his forehead. He wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep everything off; after all, he didn't sleep for the past three days. Still, his speculations bothered him. 

There was a knock on the door. 

"Who could that be?" he asked, glancing at his watch, "It's already midnight."

Hyuk proceeded to open the door, which revealed Sun Hee's best friend/ new personal assistant Jin Hae, holding a bunch of folders. The latter was surprised at the appearance of the former.

"Oh, Hyuk!" she exclaimed, "I didn't expect to see you. Why are you here so late?"

"Overtime, as usual," he answered, "Why are you here so late?"

She fidgeted with the files in her hand. "I'm here to give the letter of withdrawal from Sun Hee," she answered, avoiding his eyes, "She told me to give it to Detective Gook Doo. I...didn't expect to run into you." She then looked at him. "How are you?"

He forced himself to smile. "I'm...okay," he answered, before hesitating to ask Jin Hae. "How is she?"

Sun Hee's friend smiled sadly. "She's doing okay too, Hyuk," she said, "I...I'm sorry this had to happen."

He smiled at her. "Me too."

"But to be frank...I wish it didn't," she continued, "I don't know what got into her head; she wouldn't explain to me either. But I can tell that she's not...happy with it too."

She leaned by the door. 

"Have you tried calling her?" she asked.

"I don't think she would answer."

Jin Hae nodded. "Fair point."

There was silence. Jin Hae sighed and handed Hyuk the documents. 

"Here are the letters," she said, "I...I hope you'll be okay, Hyuk."

"Can I walk you to the exit?"

"Sure."

They both knew why Hyuk wanted to walk her out. The detective placed the files on Gook Doo's desk before heading out of the department, Jin Hae walking ahead. There was silence, but he knew both him and Jin Hae were equally flustered with Sun Hee's decision.

"Are you eating well?" she suddenly asked. 

"Er...well...I eat."

Jin Hae glanced at him. "Have you been drinking?"

"Yes."

"Sleeping?"

"Not much."

He wondered why she asked so many questions.

"What's with the questions?"

They made it to the station's exit. Jin Hae looked at him knowingly. 

"The answers aren't for me," she answered shortly, then she glanced at the car waiting in front of the station. Hyuk stared at the car and he realized: Sun Hee must be inside. 

"Do you want to talk to her?" she asked. 

A part of him wanted to approach the car, to ask Sun Hee to come down and explain herself. He wanted to tell her that he wished she could take back her decision, that she didn't even let him have a say in it. But at the back of his mind, Hyuk knew this wouldn't be plausible. All those months knowing her, he realized that she was stubborn as a rock. 

He just smiled at Jin Hae. "You have a good night, Jin Hae," he told her, "And...I'll remind Gook Doo about the case withdrawal tomorrow so everything is finalized."

She nodded and patted him on the back, walking down the stairs. Hyuk shoved his hands inside his pockets as he watched Jin Hae approach the car, open the door, and immediately get in. Hyuk's eye, however, was trained to be fast. During those seconds, he caught sight of Sun Hee's sillhouette and her hair tied up in a ponytail. When the door closed, that was it.

The car drove ahead. 

Hyuk stared as the car disappeared in the distance. He wanted to run after it, but he knew he couldn't.

He had a lot of things to understand first.

Sun Hee bit her lip as she sat inside the car, waiting for Jin Hae. 

When she came in the station to see Gook Doo two days ago, she sincerely hoped that Hyuk wouldn't be in. She didn't know what she'd do if he was and she had no idea if Gook Doo knew about everything already. Jin Hae wasn't available that day and Sun Hee just wanted to get things over. So, she went ahead to file for the withdrawal herself. Fortunately, Hyuk was out on an operation so it was only Gook Doo.

The other detective was flustered with her decision.

"Are you sure? What if the stalker gets to you--?"

"I'm fine now, Gook Doo," she said, "Really. It's not a big deal anymore."

"Does Hyuk know about this?"

She was quiet for a second before she nodded. Once she set the paper, Gook Doo told her that she'll need to submit another letter for confirmation. That's when she decided she wouldn't do it without Jin Hae. 

Now, she sat in the corner of her car, waiting for her friend to return.

Part of her wanted to get out and walk towards the Violent Crimes unit, hopefully see him. She didn't have to talk to him; she just wanted to see him. She wanted to know how he was: did he eat? did he sleep? 

Because she didn't.

But she had to act like everything was okay. 

She caught sight of Jin Hae appearing at the top of the steps, the folder gone and all, but she wasn't alone. Sun Hee's heart caught in at the sight of Lee Hyuk, casually conversing with her friend.

It's only been days, but she noticed that he looked thinner and more tired. As he ran a hand through his mess of a hair, Sun Hee noticed those dark circles under his eyes. Was he working harder or did she do that to him?

For a second, he looked her way. 

All that longing flooded back inside of her as Hyuk gazed at ther through the tinted car. She knew he couldn't see her, but she felt that he was staring into her soul. She had to keep herself from going out. Thankfully, Jin Hae already bid her goodbyes and made her way back to the car, limiting Sun Hee's potential interaction with Hyuk,

The door opened and Jin Hae jumped in.

"Shall we go?" she asked.

Sun Hee bit her lip.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

Jin Hae stared at her. 

"Yes."

A second later, the driver stepped on the gas and the car moved. Sun Hee had to keep herself from looking back. If she did, she knew she would run back to him.

[ ONE WEEK LATER ]

"Okay, I don't understand what's going on, but I trust you're not going to get me killed, right?"

"How are you going to get killed?"

Gook Doo looked the building up and down. "Who knows? Heels? Hairdryers? Stuff like that?"

Hyuk smirked. "That's crazy."

His fellow detective looked at him. "I don't think you'd get killed," he said, "You might even get in."

"Okay, shut up. We should get going. And I don't want anymore complains about getting stabbed by high heels."

Gook Doo chewed his cheeks and shoved his hands in his coat pockets, looking at Hyuk with uncertainty. In all honesty, the latter couldn't blame the former for being suspicious and concerned. After all, he pulled Gook Doo out on a weekend for a supposed "extended edition" of their job. 

So when he found himself facing an entertainment agency, Gook Doo was naturally surprised. 

"Are you sure you're not dragging me because you need support for an audition?" asked Gook Doo.

"It's not that," said Hyuk, "You'll find out later."

Both detectives went inside Big Hit Entertainment Agency. Once they were frisked, inspected, and checked they passed the security and Hyuk immediately proceeded towards the information desk. Gook Doo was still astounded with the place; models and trainees kept coming right, front, and center.

"Wah, look at all these people," he said, "Do you know them?"

Hyuk ignored his co-detective and leaned towards the information desk.

"Hello there, I'm looking for a Jeon Hee Jin?" he said, looking at the receptionist. The woman was obviously astounded by his good looks; she fidgeted with they keyboard.

"Are you...auditioning to be a model, actor, or idol?"

Gook Doo chuckled; Hyuk flushed red. 

"Uh...I'm not here to audition," he answered, "I just...wanted to ask her something about previous talents."

"Ah, is that so?" asked the information secretary. She looked at him, probably wondering if he seriously turned down an offer to audition, "Let me check her schedule."

Gook Doo nudged him. "You sure you don't want to audition?"

"For the love of God, shut up."

Hyuk shook his head as he waited for the receptionist to answer. 

She smiled at him. "Who am I speaking to again?"

Hyuk took out his badge and ID. "Detective Lee Hyuk from the Gangnam Police Station," he introduced himself, "I'm here on a personal investigation. But don't worry, it's nothing big."

The receptionist's eyes fluttered at him; Hyuk knew that look. "Well, I hope it's not," she said, "Lucky for you, scouting director Jin Hee is in. You can visit her at the third floor." She handed them passes. 

"Are you sure you're not here for an audition?"

"No. Thanks."

He took the passes and gave one to Gook Doo. Immediately, they made their way. 

"So...why are we here again?" asked the younger detective.

"Going on a hunch."

"Is this why I couldn't talk to you yesterday or the previous days?" asked Gook Doo, "You were too busy with your laptop and searching for everything and anything in the database."

"To be fair, I did my fair share of the job," defended Hyuk as they proceeded to the elevator, "You didn't go out on that bust alone."

"But your head was in the clouds."

"Stop being such a baby."

A couple of models stopped beside them, giggling as they did. Gook Doo tried subtly to keep his amazement, clearing his throat and looking professional. From the corner of his eye, Hyuk could see some of the girls eyeing him. They were also probably wondering if he was about to join their little group. He ignored them, keeping his eyes on the goal.

If I'm right....then this is where it all started. 

As they got in the elevator, Hyuk pondered on Gook Doo's statement: of how he spent the previous days with his head in the clouds. His head really wasn't in the clouds; Gook Doo was just unaware of Hyuk's intensive research. He spent hours racking the database, as well as the Internet, for information to fill the gaps. He started with nothing and just blank spaces; as the days progressed, however, there was some sort of light peeking out of nowhere.

That's how ended up in this building -- to start his personal investigation on Kim Sun Hee. 

Just three days ago, he had a hit on her name. But it wasn't anything criminal-related.

If he heard the whole story, however, there might be some changes to the story. 

The detective duo arrived at the third floor, still ignoring the silent clamor from the group of models or trainees. Hyuk kept his eyes nailed ahead with one purpose. He needed answers; if he got pieces of the story, maybe he could make sense of what was happening. 

Jeon Hee Jin was a casting director who started her work ten years ago. As Hyuk walked towards her office (located at the end of the hallway), she could have some answers. He stared at the posters and announcements littered around them: a majority were callbacks, auditions for idols, and posters for their popular talents. Hyuk figured his sister would probably know some of these people, but he was clueless. 

"Is this it?" asked Gook Doo.

Hyuk remembered the days he typed in Sun Hee's name, trying to find her history. He then figured out he'd been doing it wrong.

The detective knocked on the door. 

"If this is an audition, it's tomorrow!" came a high-pitched female voice.

"No ma'am. This isn't an audition. It's a query," answered Hyuk.

There was silence. 

The sudden opening of the door startled both Gook Doo and Hyuk. The detectives stepped back as a tall and pretty woman in her 40s stepped out. She wore smart casual clothes that accentuated her curves yet did not hide the fact that she was a big fan of plastic surgeries. Hyuk would know; he'd seen photos of her before. She eyed both of them suspiciously and eventually softened at the sight of Hyuk.

"Are you sure this isn't an audition?" she asked, "Did you use that excuse so I'd see you?"

Hyuk got out his badge and so did Gook Doo. 

"No ma'am, this is a serious query," answered Hyuk, "Though I'm flattered."

The casting director was stunned. 

"Okay...what is this about?" she asked, crossing her arms. 

Please be the start I need. 

Hyuk looked her in the eye.

"I'm here to ask about one of your previous model trainees four years ago," he said, "I want to know more about Kim Sun."

A/N: Hey guys. Sorry I took long; life happened :D But here you go!

Also, sorry I used Big Hit hahaha! I couldn't get over the fact that BTS is so worldwide now. Yes, I'm too trash for them right now. But I hope I did a decent chapter today. Funny story: my dad recently finished Goblin and he said it's one of the best he watched. He said he could also relate to the Grim Reaper on some level; he said the handsomeness was so relatable.

Oh fathers. 

See you!