Yeonhee looked at her phone screen, taking a deep breath as she did something she’d promised herself she’d never do.

With a sharp tap of her thumb, she squeezed her eyes shut and prayed that the wifi in the lecture hall wouldn’t cut out – or maybe even that it would, so she wouldn’t have to worry about the consequences of this – as the internet connection worked its magic and started to download the Easyl app.

There were a number of reasons why she’d decided it was something she wasn’t going to do when the app had first come out.  One of the chief ones was that so she wouldn’t always be online, wouldn’t always be distracted by notifications, wouldn’t be tempted to procrastinate instead of getting on with work.  Easyl was part of her hobby time, time that she could set aside to enjoy herself without worrying about anything else.

The first and most important reason was so that Baekhyun would never find out.  Or any of their friends, for that matter.  They all knew that she drew, but it was nice to have just a little something that was private, especially when her friends had seen her at her lowest and most vulnerable more times than anybody in her family ever had.  She also knew that they’d be disappointed that she’d never told them she was one of the best known amateur Hanmi artists in the country, not least because they’d lose the bragging rights that came with it.  As well known as “pencilmania” was, Easyl was one place where she could completely let loose without any cares in the world.  She didn’t want to lose that.

Now she just needed to make sure that none of her friends got hold of her phone ever again.  Especially Baekhyun.  God forbid any of them ever discovered why she’d decided to download the app, too.  The vast majority of app users weren’t artists because the facilities for uploading images were much slicker and easier to navigate on a computer.  It would be one thing for her friends to figure out that she was Pencilmania (if they were even aware enough of the art world for that to ring a bell, but Baekhyun was nosy enough to look that kind of thing up and bragging rights were bragging rights), but it would be quite another if they discovered she’d downloaded an app purely to talk to one person.  Baekhyun would probably compose a eulogy to the dead love between her and Juan.  Mihae would likely lecture her on internet security and talking to strangers.  She actually wasn’t sure which one was worse.

Yeonhee felt bad, though.  After Lonelyblues’s rebuke – which she was still trying to determine whether it was blunt or kind (or both) – three nights previously, she’d left her hanging.  It had been like somebody had doused her with a bucket of cold water: unpleasant, unwanted, and possibly needed, depending on the situation.  It had also killed her artistic mood.  All in all, it just kind of that the entire world, whether they knew the details of the situation or not, agreed that she’d handled the entire situation with her ex badly, and her annoyance at it showed that she still hadn’t moved on.

Lonelyblues’s comment on her speaking out against the royal family – which, of course, Lonelyblues didn’t know was the actual case – Yeonhee felt vindicated in ignoring after spending an hour chatting on the phone to her sister about it, since it was coming from a philosophical standpoint rather than a flaw in her personality, as far as she and Minhee were concerned.  Of course, not everybody would agree with that, but Yeonhee didn’t particularly care.

Her phone vibrated, telling her that the app was fully downloaded, and she quickly logged in and opened up her messages.  She winced as she brought up the thread with Lonelyblues.  Radio silence on Friday had been a bad move.  It had fundamentally altered the way Lonelyblues treated her, which was now with uncertainty and with far less comfort, and that wasn’t what Yeonhee wanted.  She didn’t want to gain a reputation as a person who shut down at the first sign of criticism.  The impression that gave off was just awful.  And the other thing was that, despite it only being a couple of days, Lonelyblues was very pleasant to chat to, and it had been nice to log into the site with the notion that there was somebody there who didn’t really expect anything of her.  It had been an absolutely stupid move to bring up her personal life.

There were only a handful of messages from the weekend.  Saturday morning, Yeonhee had woken up to a tentative one that read:

Nov 11th two days ago, (what Lonelyblues was doing up at three thirty in the morning was anybody’s guess) lonelyblues wrote:

My apologies.  Was I wrong in assuming you wanted an honest opinion?

For the whole of Saturday, she’d assumed it was a dig.  On Sunday afternoon, she’d realised it was an actual apology accompanied by some tongue-in-cheek humour that Lonelyblues was probably trying to use to thaw the suddenly frosty relations.  Her response had been to finally send the finished sketch she’d promised.  When an instant reply had come back with does that mean ‘apology accepted?’ she’d freaked out and not returned to the website. . . until now, via the app.

There were two messages from Lonelyblues that she hadn’t yet read.

Nov 12th a day ago, lonelyblues wrote:

Yo, senpai?  You’re not still mad at me are you?

Nov 12th a day ago, lonelyblues wrote:

Okay, all joking aside, I really am sorry if that offended you.  I clearly misjudged the situation.

Yeonhee scrunched up her face, trying to work out the best way to respond.

A pencil bounced off her forehead and she squeaked, automatically clamping her hand over the afflicted area.

“Yo,” whispered Mihae, leaning back from the row in front.  “You look constipated.”

Glaring, Yeonhee hastily shoved her phone under her thigh.

“I’m fine,” she grumbled.

Casting her a dubious look, Mihae passed her a handout that the professor had just started circulating.  Yeonhee glanced at it and realised that she’d spent at least the last ten minutes not paying any attention and consequently had no idea what on earth they were supposed to be learning.  The words on the page in front of her made little sense.  She understood them all, but gleaning collective meaning was a different kettle of fish.

The professor started to drone again and Yeonhee decided it was a lost cause and returned to her phone and the app.  Mihae would lend her any notes later if she asked.  She spared a quick glance at the professor to make sure that she wouldn’t be caught and then tried to figure out what to say that didn’t make it sound like she’d been sulking all weekend.

Nov 13th one minute ago, pencilmania wrote:

Don’t worry, I’m not mad.  Just had to think a few things through and I’ve been really busy these past couple of days.

Mission very much not accomplished.  She frowned at the phone, as though it could have come up with something better by itself.  The wifi was also slower than she’d anticipated.

Seconds later, there was a loud ding! and Yeonhee jumped, only just managing to bite back a curse and shove the phone under her leg again as several people looked up to see what the noise was.  The professor, thankfully, didn’t notice at all, and once her classmates had settled again, Yeonhee hastily put her phone on silent and tried to calm her pounding heart.

me, she typed back before she’d even looked at the response.  Are you permanently online?

Nov 13th four minutes ago, lonelyblues wrote:

Let’s just pretend I believe that.

Busy with what?

Nov 13th a few seconds ago, pencilmania wrote:

me, are you permanently online?

Yeonhee barely even had time to frown at being so easily seen through before another message popped up.

Nov 13th a few seconds ago, lonelyblues wrote:

Saving myself for marriage, sorry.

Yeonhee was unsure whether to laugh or stare.  The usual cheeky response was “no thanks”, and she couldn’t help finding Lonelyblues’s more original wit attractively charming.  It made her wonder how she’d get on with Baekhyun, if they ever met in real life.  She immediately scrapped that thought because Baekhyun would ask where she’d managed to find herself such a normal friend.

She was still trying to think of a comeback when she got another message.

Nov 13th a few seconds ago, lonelyblues wrote:

Wyd rn?

It took a few seconds for the initials to compute.

Nov 13th a minute ago, pencilmania wrote:

I’m in a lecture.  Why?

There was a distinct pause and Yeonhee took the opportunity to glance up at the slides her professor had put up.  There was still absolutely nothing that she understood.

When she looked back down at her screen, there was a new message.

Nov 13th two minutes ago, lonelyblues wrote:

Senpai

You should be paying attention to your lecture

I’m going to stop distracting you now

Bye!

Nov 13th a few seconds ago, pencilmania wrote:

Wait, no, you can’t just ditch me like this!

The lecture’s really boring anyway

I also don’t understand what’s going on, so it’s not like it’s a loss

Nov 13th a few seconds ago, lonelyblues w