Into the mud

A Sin You Can't Sweat Out (April 8, 1990 – December 18, 2017)

"HEY! hey!! Hold on!! T-that's her! The most beautiful girl from our school, ow ow she's so pretty. ISNT SHE?!" Onew shouted excited, pointing his finger in the girls direction. 

"What's with that onew, are you a stalker?" i shook my head and stared at his 'crush'. 

Well, he is right. She is very very pretty, long light full brown hair, tiny waist, plump lips and  long graceful legs. My cup of tea.. but she can't compete with kibum. Kibum still has that grace over him. Everything about him is perfect, wait, what am i thinking? arg forget about this jonghyun!

what am i? gay? noway!

What am i thinking?! what was that?  i hit myself on the head to forget about these disgusting thoughts. So wrong, kibum is still a guy. 

"The hell is up with you? stop hitting yourself weirdo! yah! i'm so hating this, i am missing soccer training tonight because of this stupid school trip" Minho nagged like always and sipped on his juice,  hope he will choke on his angry juice.. just kidding. 

Miss Shin had planned a school trip to work on our project. She said that a new fresh environment would do us well, coming up with new and creative idea's. So here we are, waiting infront of our school on a saterday morning to get on a bus to eurwangni beach. 

I don't care spending my weekend somewhere else, no one's home anyway. So me waiting in front of our school or just wandering around at my empty house doesn't make a difference. 

"Btw stalker-Onew, forget about your dream girl because she's already dating someone from my soccer team. No chance mate, that guy is pretty popular and handsome!" Minho smirked guilty, trying to provoke an argument. My best friend is at it again. Just shut up Minho.. 

"Even though i'm saying this myself but I really AM popular with the ladies" Onew said with arrogance and a little heartbroken, don't worry onew. I feel you.  Minho crushed my dreams about my future wife sekyung as well.

"It's okay onew, i know how it feels to lose the girl of your dreams, my wife Miss Shin is scr*wing Taemin after class" i sighed deeply, disgusted by the thoughts of taemin and Miss sekyung ..I do not want to imagine them doing 'it' on her desk. I should be the one pinning her down her desk. ME not that taemin guy.

Minho couldn't hold his laughter and started laughing really loud, everyone was staring at us.

One word;. Embarrassing.

"Jesus Minho cut it out please, you don't have any sense of sympathy! you heartless person" i rolled my eyes and looked away, ashamed. 

"Oh c'mon Jjong,  i'm not laughing with your broken heart but with onews statement,  HE our ONEW  is popular among the girls? well tell me j*rk, what makes you better than me?" Minho raised his eyebrow amused, waiting for onews answer. Probably provoking an argument. 

 "My family is wealthy, which makes me wealthy as well and my appearance is better than anyone else, i can give my girlfriend a perfect life" Onew scoffed, folding his arms in victory. "that's true, if i was born a girl, i definitely choose onew over you, Minho" i just played along with onew to piss Minho off.

Minho sighed frustrated  "yeah sure, keep on dreaming, BOTH of you. Yuuna you like me? don't  you?" Minho suddenly grabbed a girl from our class by her hand, holding her in a thight grip. She was suprised by this sudden 'attack' "yah! what do you want from me, Minho?" she pulls her hand out of his grip.

"Isn't it obvious? your phone number ofcourse!" He gave her one of his seductive glances. 

"Are you still okay up there?!"  she pointed her finger to his head  "You've dumped me a few month's ago because i was annoying to you" she gave him a back slap against his head and walked away, extremely angry.

"Really minho?" i rolled my eyes rubbed my temples frustrated. Is he even my best friend?

"what?" He asked boldly and clueless.  NO Why are we even best friends?!

He shrugged " I did nothing wrong, don't look at me.  i can not even remember her! I don't care who it is, i can do anyone and btw your sister is also beautiful. Hmmm, this explains alot! mother nature gave her all the beauty, there was nothing left for you Jonghyun" He laughed with his own lame joke, just Pathetic.

"Miss Shin, when are we leaving?  We have been waiting for an hour" Minho shouted frustrated. 

"We are waiting for Taemin and Kibum" she smiled at him, my heart broke. What a beautiful smile, everything about her is pe- not as perfect as Kibum. Kibum still--oh god. Stop it Jonghyun. 

"Oh! sorry for the wait miss shin, Hello guys" Taemin showed up with a big smile on his face. Always, smiling brightly, that kid could be my best friend. I have to surround myself with positive energy. "Taemin be my best friends please" i shouted at him. Minho punched me hard on the back. 

"WTF Minho?!" i shouted back in pain and rubbed the painful spot on my back. 

"Ah bad things just keeps coming in" Minho sighed deeply at the sight of the innocent boy. Taemin tried to ignore Minho's comment and clenched his fists.  Such a perfect team, NOT!

But , where is Kibum? I scanned the parking lot. 

"where is kibum?  Isn't he coming? He is coming right?"I asked a bit in panic. Taemin smiled kindly to reassure me "He will arrive within 5 minutes, he is always late"

"Just like you taemin, we've been waiting for 20 minutes" Minho stood right in front of taemin. Of course he is way taller and stronger than the fragile boy.

 "I hate waiting but i hate the person i'm waiting for even more, so you know what that means right?!" This was the first time I heard Minho threatening someone and it scared me.

"Okay that's enough Minho! Leave him alone already, you j*rk. What's wrong with you? " i shouted angry. Minho only shrugged and backed off. Taemin sighed in relief. Poor kid..."pretentious *ssh*le" Taemin gritted his teeth.

Finally! 

Kibum finally showed up and i grinned like a child. "KEY!" i shouted at him, waving my hand to get his attention.  I may feel a little too enthusiastic but i've been looking forward spending time with him of course to work on our project . We have not seen each other after school the last few days. He is always busy with his dancing thing.. i don't like it at all.

 " i'm so hating this, it's saterday morning " Kibum mumbled, completely ignoring me. 
He looked handsome great without his school uniform. He wore a torn black jeans with a white t-shirt a leather jacket.
Kinda badass looking. I loved that outfit on him.

"Alrighty, we are heading out, everyone on the bus! " Miss shin said cheerily; maybe i could sit beside her. "Miss shin can i sit beside you? i have something to tell you" a small girl from our class came up to her. Miss shin nodded and smiled at her.

Why? why isn't luck on my side?! i'm feeling frustrated. 
"So annoying, i actually don't have time for this trip. Taemin forced me" Kibum nagged as always. Well he and Minho could become best friends. They are made out of the same wood. He doesn't look happy to see me though.
What have i done? did i do something wrong?said something wrong? 

Maybe he is having a bad day.

"Taemin is sitting with me" Minho said as he grabbed Taemin's arm without warning pushing him on the bus . "No way, are you crazy? you are out of your mind! you and me sitting next to each other?  it's the end of me. You will probably end up throwing me out of this driving bus, i'm going with key" Taemin tried to free himself out of Minhos strong grip.

"NO! you- sit beside me!"  Minho's eyes widen, full of anger. Taemin sighed frustrated but eventually gave in " i  ing hate you choi Minho" he whispered softly.  

"Onew, sit beside me?" Kibum asked onew with big sparkling eyes. I was taken aback. Why asking onew? why not me?felt like there was a hole through my chest. does he likes onew? I felt hurt in some kind of way.

"oh sorry kibum, i'm sitting next to Yuuna" he pointed at the girl from earlier.  wait? what? what a lady killer! That girl got dumped by minho a few months ago ,is he going after minho's left over? jeez! 

"okay, can't be helped, c'mon Jonghyun sit beside me and don't be so happy about this"  Kibum seems to be in a really  bad mood. I expected him to be happy and excited about meeting up again. We became friends right? who was i kidding? kibum excited and happy and being my friend? don't make me laugh. i'm just a fool.

To be fair,  i hate it when someone dislike me, even if someone hates me,  i want them to like me someday.
 

"What's up?" i asked him right away. We were sitting really close to each other. The seats are pretty small. 
"Nothing" he mumbled and avoided any eye contact. Nothing my , what's up with him?!
Has he become his normal self again? 

The smell of tobacco creeps into my nose. He smoked a lot and that on a morning.  I bit my lips nervously. The question why he did not wanted to sit next to me was at the tip of my tongue. Even if i asked him about it, he would definitely scold me. 

"How is dance class going?" A normal question, begging for a normal answer. 
He shrugged "good i guess" he sighed clearly annoyed.  "jeez key what's wrong with you today?  i don't feel like hanging out with you on this trip like that" that came out without thinking. 

"Then, Don't hang out with me" He looked me straight into my eyes. My heart stopped beating for a second and i felt like i couldn't breath. That bastard was smiling brightly while saying that. He grinned at my troubled face.

"what?" he asked nonchalantly.  what, what?  I was confused about his behavior. "never mind" I said slightly annoyed. 
I kept my mouth shut to avoid an argument and just fell asleep against the bus window.

--

"Great, just great Jonghyun" Kibum rubbed his temples in anger. "'Follow me i know the way, i've been here countless times!'" Kibum quoted the words i've said a few hours ago, he sounded anything but happy and that was my fault. 
We have been instructed to find the way to our hostel with only a compass and map. Miss Shin and her great idea's.

" we are so l-lost, oh my god! what to do, i can't read a map nor a compass. My phone is not working either"  kibum shouted, his voice containing a hint of the panic he felt. 

As a child I used to come here quite often with my babysitter, but everything has changed so much in the couple of years;
Honstely, I can't remeber this road we are walking on at all and by the way, have they planted a forest here? can't recall a forest around here at all..argg we are indeed lost.

'The follow me, i know the way' was a big fail.

"Shut up, key" I mumbled, of course I'm self-centered and don't want to admit that all of this is my fault. 

"YAH! shut up? shut up? all of this is your own stupid fault. it's getting darker and colder,  it's about t---" a few rain drops that fall on his face interrupted him from talking/nagging.
"oh my- don't tell me it's going..." before he could even finish his sentence it started to rain heavily. Well, the sky was pouring with rain.

He didn't say anything, He just stood there in the pouring rain completely soaked . The gel from his hair was rinsed out which made his hair hanging all over his face, yet he still looked stunning.

Kibum was on the verge of hysterics.

" I am so-sorry key--" He shook his head, gave me a simple middle finger and continued walking."Key?" i ran after him. He ignored me as i kept saying his name. "i hate you- " was the only thing that came out of his mouth,  gritting his teeth.I couldn't follow his steps and got behind, man he is fast! 

"KEY! wait up! Be carefull you might---" right before i could even finish, kibum (as expected) stumbled and fell into a mudpond right infront of me. He was covered with mud from head to foot. i couldn't stop laughing when i saw him taking that fall. I knew i was digging my own grave. But it's just way to funny.

Kibum glared up at me with an expressionless face.  " U done?! Help me up" He ordered me around, holding out his hand. I sighed and grabbed his hand, my biggest mistake ever. I should've know. 

With an enormous force he threw me to the ground. Before I could even say something, he slapped me round the face with enough force to knock my teeth together.

I was stunned and did not know what happened.

"What the hell key?!"i shouted, that actually stunned me good. Another punch caught my face again and  again. I could taste blood running down my nose into my throat.

I started to fight back, punching him over and over. "die bast*rd!"

--

There we were, completely covered with mud and bleeding faces, sitting against a tree in the dark after our silly fight;


We were still trying to catch our breaths, kibum was moving alot beside me trying to find something in his pocket. 
"finally" He pulled out  a pack of marlboro from his pocket and slid out a cigarette. He clicked his lighter twice before lighting it. "Last year, at a party i was so drunk i was trying to smoke my lighter" Kibum laughed as the smoke escaped his mouth.

He let the ashes fall on his pants. "they are dirty anyway" he joked around. 

"you are a babo" i laughed with his story. "say .. key?" i didn't dare to look at him. He took another drag of his cigarette "Taemin is also a smoker " he said, ignoring my attempt to ask a question. I frowned in disbelieve "he is?"

"yeah, he learned me how to do it" key smiled staring at the small thing in his hands. He leaned closer to me, resting his head on my shoulder. My heart started to space out, beating out of control.  "Here" he handed me his cigarette. The smoke from his cigarette tickled my nose "it will keep u warm inside" 

Without using my common sense I took a drag. It's giving me a warming sensation. "hey! you ain't coughing this time haha have you practiced?" his laughter warmed me in a way a jacket couldn't. 

"Jonghyun, i'm sorry for being an *sswhole" he said and looked up at me from my shoulder with sparkling eyes. I held my chest, I think my heart stopped beating for a second.He is so perfect.  "i- i'm ge-etting used to it" I wanted it to make it sound funny but I stumbled on my words. "yah! what's up with that?" he gave me a soft punch on my shoulder. 

. Not good at all, this was feeling way to comfortable.

 "say jjong, do you have someone you like right now?" he grabbed the cigarette out of my hands. what's that for a question all of sudden? "yeah i do.. actually. I'm in love with miss shin" it was an honest answer. I really loved her.

"is that your type? you like the sl*tty types?"  my eyes widen. "what are you talking about?" Kibum smirked "she's banging my best friend after school!" he pointed his finger at me way to amused.   I rolled my eyes annoyed and was pissed off "so what? i'll wait for her until she get tired of taemin. It hurts okay? i'm feleing really edup about this.But how would u know? have u ever had your heart broken?"  i snatched the cigarette out of his hand and threw it away.

"haha, chill Jonghyun! of course, what's that for a question? and it was an unbearable pain, with a difficulty to breathe, like a constant heaviness on my chest." He sat infront of me, staring into my eyes as he placed his hand on my chest, the place of my heart.

 "here, it felt like my heart has been ripped out of my chest"  You can really feel all the anger, pain, sadness and depression in his voice. He still manages a beautiful smile on his face.  "i am gay, but that doesn't mean i can not fall in love right?" 

Without thinking, i grabbed his hand and pulled him into a tight hug. I buried my head into his chest and couldn't help but grin wide. I felt his heartbeat fasten, just like mine. 

This is wrong.

 

 

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shinee02
#1
Chapter 6: I haven't stopped crying since. You are not alone. Your whole SHINee World family mourns with you.
Rellamellow #2
Chapter 6: Please remember that during this difficult time, you are not alone. SHINee World is a family, and we are all by your side. We will get through this together, somehow. One day, we will stop bleeding. And we will never forget him, we'll remember him as an amazing person, a truly gifted one, someone who always thought of others first and who had a talent for making people laugh and also feel understood.
If you find that imagining him happy helps you, don't feel bad about writing more. Likewise, don't feel bad about discontinuing your stories.
Dm me if you need someone to talk to. ♡♡♡
reyaakoh
#3
Chapter 5: Woah there~ is it real? Tae and miss shin banginf? Is it consensual?
reyaakoh
#4
Chapter 4: Oooohhhh.... interesting
karkimi
#5
Chapter 2: Umm.. Have you read Adolescent days by any chance?
Ayame6 #6
Omg I really love this! Can't wait for more. I love badass Kibum so cool
Xiahnatica
#7
Chapter 3: Good progress I will wait for more chapters
Tae_minho
#8
Chapter 2: It's really gud .. waiting for update :)
yurashawol
#9
Chapter 2: I think jonghyun is jealous to minho. By the way, sad for onew's turtle. :'(