The walk wasn’t as intimidating or unbearable as Baekhyun initially thought that it’d be. It just felt like how it once was. The contradicting cool ocean breeze and the setting sun that showered them in its warm, golden rays somehow complemented one another in making the walk seemingly peaceful. Baekhyun had no complaints.

Chanyeol broke the silence by asking a question. It seemed inaudible at first, but Baekhyun soon realized that it was due to the fact that his mind was so preoccupied with other things that he was beginning to tune things out.

Giving the giant an apologetic look, Baekhyun waved a hand. “Ah--I’m sorry. Could you repeat your question?”

“I asked if you had any plans tonight.” Grinning at the shorter male, Chanyeol rubbed the back of his neck. “If not, do you want to come and eat dinner with my family? You know, like the good old days.”

Laughing, Baekhyun politely rejected. “Thanks, but no thank you.”

“And why not?” Chanyeol asked, tilting his head. “Mother’s making spicy fish soup. Your favorite.”

“It’s fine, Chanyeol,” the brunet said again. “I just feel like it isn’t appropriate.”

Raising a brow, Chanyeol blinked. “Family dinner between friends? What’s not appropriate about that? I get that we used to date, Baek, but it’s really nothing--”

“Exactly. It’s nothing--we’re nothing. I just… I don’t know, Chanyeol. Somehow, it feels weird to me.” Baekhyun paused for a second before he took one look at the giant’s face and knew that he needed to explain a bit more. “Don’t take this the wrong way. I want to catch up with you and know how you’re doing, but...acting like we’re actually still close is just kind of...unusual.”

“No, I get that. I don’t know. Maybe I just wanted an excuse to talk to you, like you said.” Chanyeol sighed, frowning. “I’m probably being a little too forward.”

“Yeah… Plus we didn’t exactly end things between us very nicely either,” Baekhyun added quietly, his hands gripping the handlebars of his bike tightly. “But that’s the past. I’m okay with moving forward, just not this fast and casual.”

“Right, right…” Chanyeol mumbled. However, he sounded distracted. Unable to ignore the urge to confront the topic that was bothering him, he turned his head and looked straight at the brunet beside him. “About that… I’ve been wondering about this for years--well, not really years. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m still haunted over this, but we didn’t actually break up, right? You just left in the middle of the night and never contacted me again.”

Baekhyun halted, stopping in his tracks as he gaped at Chanyeol. “What?”

“I didn’t mean it in that way,” Chanyeol said, quick to defend himself. “I’m not trying to make myself look like some kind of victim. This happened over seven years ago.”

“I know, but what’s your point?” Baekhyun asked, his gaze locking with the giant’s. “Yeah, we didn’t actually sit down and talk it out… I didn’t want to and you...you couldn’t. There was no point in talking back then, Yeol. Even you should know that.”

“I’m really not trying to dig up any bad feelings, Baek,” Chanyeol said adamantly. Oddly enough, Baekhyun felt he was being genuine and relaxed. “I just want to know why you did that. All these years, I kind of felt like I needed some kind of explanation.”

Biting his bottom lip, Baekhyun asked, “What kind of explanation would satisfy you, then?”

“I barely have any recollection of that night… I want to know why you never, in the very least, properly broke up with me… Why did you just leave in the middle of the night after we made love?”

The recollection of that night was enough to bring about a heavy feeling in Baekhyun’s chest. It was something he refused to talk about or mention. For the last seven years, that night was his only kept secret, and yet, the look in Chanyeol’s eyes was enough to coax the truth out of Baekhyun’s lips.

“Is that how you remember that night, Yeol?” he asked softly, bearing no grudge or anger in his voice. Only, perhaps, sadness.

Chanyeol was hesitant, but he nodded anyhow. He gave a hard sigh as his fingers ran through his dark, messy hair. “I knew I wasn’t treating you right around that time. You probably deserved better, but for years, I was already kind of mad at you because of how you left. I don’t know. My early twenties was a blurry mess.”

Pursing his lips, Baekhyun could just feel how breathing was somehow becoming more and more difficult. His eyes never left Chanyeol as he spoke with a voice that tried so hard to remain steady.

“Earlier that night,” Baekhyun started softly, “I came home from the diner. I had a late shift, but my boss let me off early… For a good minute, I felt happy because I knew that you didn’t have a schedule with that...manager of yours.”

God, how he had hated Chanyeol’s former manager. Granted he got the nineteen year old the fame and music career that he had been dreaming of since he could learn how to play the guitar, but Baekhyun knew that he was the root of all of Chanyeol’s personal problems from there on.

Shaking away thoughts of that disgusting man, Baekhyun continued on. “I went back to our apartment expecting, I don’t know. A quiet night together, maybe? But, looking back now, you and I both know that I was better off praying for rain in the desert… What? What’s with that look on your face?”

“My face?” Chanyeol looked as if he was put on the spot at a time when he least expected it. “Nothing. I’m just trying to see if I remember anything that then--”

“No, I don’t think you will,” Baekhyun said, offering a small smile. “You weren’t yourself that night. As usual.”

Chanyeol could feel the dryness in his throat. Without a doubt, he was excessive at the start of his career. Often drinking and getting drunk with no thought about the consequences. With his newfound freedom came the neglect that Baekhyun endured. Even in his wayward, drunken mind, Chanyeol was somehow aware of the situation, yet he never addressed it. He felt better pushing his guilty feelings aside rather than to deal with them properly. However, it all proved to be detrimental in the end.

“I walked in the apartment and I knew that something was wrong… I heard noises and I saw pieces of clothing scattered around.” Baekhyun stopped. For the first time, he dropped his gaze and focused on the ground. “It honestly didn’t take more to convince me that you had brought someone back home with you to our apartment, having with them on our bed.”

“Baek...”

“Honestly, though,” the brunet said, cutting him off, “I wasn’t as hurt as I probably should’ve been. Maybe it was because I kind of already knew that you were probably cheating on me whenever you went out with your friends or you were at some party your manager wanted you to go to. I think the thing that hurt me the most was the fact that this time, it was in our home, our bed.”

Chanyeol stayed silent. He didn’t try to defend himself. There was nothing to defend. All of it was true. Despite the hazy state that he always seemed to be in during those times, there was a part of him that was subconsciously aware of all the decisions that he made and the lack of care Baekhyun received.

The transition from being a nobody to a full blown mega-star with the power and money to do anything that he could ever want was overwhelming. Alcohol seemed like his best friend at the time, helping him make new friends and new connections at every party he attended. It was the gateway to everything from a good buzz all the way to a good . It helped him fit in, be one of the guys… It never occurred to him back then that while he was lavishing in his newfound power and friends, Baekhyun had to slowly watch the boy that he loved slowly disappear with every swing of the bottle.

“I’m sorry I put you through that,” Chanyeol said slowly. He reached over and gently raised the brunet’s chin upwards. “Believe me when I say that I really don’t remember that night… At least, not in this detail, Baek. I’m so sorry--”

Shaking his head, Baekhyun smiled softly as he reached up and gently grabbed Chanyeol’s hand. “It’s fine. I really don’t--”

“It’s not fine, Baekhyun.”

“I know, but it’s in the past. I forgave you a long time ago.” Giving Chanyeol’s hand a slight squeeze, Baekhyun sighed. “Anyways, the answer to your question about why I left in the middle of the night is because I knew that if you had the chance to try and convince me to stay, then I would’ve stayed. I wasn’t brave, Yeol. That’s why I never asked you if you were cheating on me. I couldn’t confront you because I was scared of the truth even though in the back of my mind, I already knew the answer.”

Dryly laughing, Chanyeol clenched his jaw as he looked up at the sky. “Even though this is a ed up kind of situation, I’m, at least, at peace knowing why you left… And I don’t blame you for leaving. I never did… I just simply wanted to hear what made you finally leave my stupid and immature .”

Sympathetically, Baekhyun rubbed Chanyeol’s hand between both of his own. “Like I said, I’ve forgiven all of that. I mean, not too long after, I found out I was going to have Kyungsoo, and, to be honest, holding grudges and being angry about you became the last thing on my mind even if thoughts of you still lingered here and there.”

“And by that, you mean old memories of me, right?” Chanyeol asked, watching as Baekhyun eventually let his hand go, leaving behind the drifting feeling of warmth. “Before you and I left for Seoul?”

“In a way? Yeah,” Baekhyun admitted. “We were just a bunch of stupid country boys who had no idea what the world outside these tiny ship ports had in store for us.... I don’t think either of us were ready.”

“Especially me,” Chanyeol said, adding a bit of dark humor that he didn’t expect the brunet to take kindly to, but was rather surprised when he did.

Snorting, Baekhyun rolled his eyes at him. “No doubt about it there,” he agreed. “I already forgave you and you just apologized to me. A lot of people probably wouldn’t think that’s enough after all you put me through, but it’s enough for me, and that’s all that matter’s.”

Chanyeol pursed his lips, staring at Baekhyun as a whole. “Honestly, how’d you mature so well?”

Baekhyun shrugged. “I had to grow up if I was going to raise Kyungsoo.”

“Oh… Right.” Chanyeol turned his attention to the ground and suddenly realized that they hadn’t taken a step since they began talking about the past. “We should probably get going. The sun’s not waiting for us”

Baekhyun turned his head, looking at the the way the setting sun was reflecting its dying rays above the vast sea. “Even the sun got tired of waiting for us to finish talking…” he muttered under his breath before pushing his bike forward once again. “Kyungsoo’s probably going to be surprised that I’m picking him up on time. Usually, I run a bit late after running last minute errands and favors.”

The change of subject somehow lifted up the heavy atmosphere that was once present, at least, in Chanyeol’s opinion. With his mood lightening up, he kept pace with the brunet, looking forward along the pathway. “Do you always leave your son with your parents?”

“Yes--well, not always,” Baekhyun said, correcting himself. “Sometimes, I leave him with your parents.”

“My parents?” Chanyeol glanced at him. “Why?”

“There are times when my parents have to be out of town for the day. Most of the time, it’s to go to the clinic in the nearest city for health reasons,” the brunet told him. “Your mother offers because she’s fond of Kyungsoo… If anything, Kyungsoo practically considers her his second grandmother.”

Chanyeol stayed quiet for a moment, absorbing the information before asking, “What about his father? Why doesn’t he help you with raising Kyungsoo?”

Just as the question was asked, the giant could tell that he had struck some kind of sensitive nerve. Baekhyun was visibly uncomfortable, though he tried his best to appear fine. However, the way his eyes seemed to widen in the slightest was enough to alert Chanyeol.

“He’s not part of our lives.” The answer was so simple, and yet, Chanyeol knew there was more beneath the surface that Baekhyun was showing. “I mean, I don’t even know who he is, so that would make contacting him a little difficult, don’t you think?”

Chanyeol couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of Baekhyun’s mouth. He looked down at the brunet who glanced over without a care for the apparent shock that was written all over the giant’s face.

To ask why his ex didn’t know who the father of his child was seemed rude and direct. Chanyeol wanted to ask despite the fact that he knew he would be digging his nose into business that wasn’t his in the first place.

Baekhyun relieved him of any burden that the unasked question was placing on Chanyeol’s shoulders as he quirked his lips and looked away, eyes focusing on the two houses standing next to each other off in the distance. “You weren’t the only one who was a mess after I left Seoul… I had a minor phase in my life where I made a couple of ty decisions, too. Having a one night stand with some guy I met in a bar was just one of them.”

-

-

Chanyeol watched as Baekhyun hugged Kyungsoo on the porch of his parents’ house as he stood by the gates that led to his own. The boy said something to his dad as the two conversed before his big eyes looked over and made contact with Chanyeol. It was then that he paused, his small hand grabbing Baekhyun by the arm before looking away.

Then for whatever reason, Baekhyun turned his face just enough to look in Chanyeol’s direction. The sun was gone with the world around them too dark for him to fully see the brunet’s face and decipher the sympathetic look encrypted in his eyes.

Forcing himself to leave the lingering feelings of curiosity behind, Chanyeol raised his hand and waved the two good-bye as he entered through the gates of his childhood home.

-

-

“The station’s not the same without you! The boss has been on my lately to try and get the audience numbers up, but what can I do? Your following’s better than mine!”

The connection was poor as hell and half the time, leaving nothing but static melted in with Jongdae’s voice.

Sighing, Chanyeol poorly attempted to close the curtains to his window. It was windy and raining, and quite frankly, the insulation in his room was never great, leaving him a little chilly. “Shut up. I’ll be back in a week and a half. Things can’t be that bad.”

“You’re right. It’s not. Maybe I just miss you--Oh, and your assistants, too. They miss you a lot more than I do, if you know what I mean.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “Remind me to fire them after I get back.”

“Too clingy for you already?”

“Hn.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.” Jongdae laughed. “You go through more assistants in three months than most celebrities I know. Maybe you should stop sleeping with them.”

Scoffing, Chanyeol walked over to his bedside table, curious as to what he left behind years ago that he had forgotten about until that moment. “As if I do,” he muttered. “Is my fault they get too infatuated?”

“No, but it is your fault for hiring them more for their looks than for their actual qualifications.”

“If they’re going to be in public with me, they should at least look nice,” Chanyeol replied, making a face of disgust at the amount of dust that had collected in the drawer. “Anyways, reception here is pretty bad so my emails haven’t been loading. Can you check later to see if I got anything from my management? Or anything important, to be honest.”

“Sure thing.”

“Okay. Listen, I’ll talk to you later. This storm’s not really helping this call. You’re still picking me up from the station when I’m coming back, right?”

“Yep. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“ off,” Chanyeol said, chuckling. “Alright. Bye.”

“See ya.”

Ending the call, Chanyeol set his cell phone on the surface of the side table as his other hand reached down the bottom drawer and pulled out something that caught his attention.

An old year book.

--------------------------------

a/n: I contemplated for a while to release this part or not. I was very unsure about this part of the story. Sorry if it's BAD, I think we should all know by now that I'm trash (heheh)... There's a reason why I put this part of their story out in the open already and it's because why they broke up is not my main focus. It's not the main conflict. It's simply a backstory.

Anyways! My next update will not be soon but it will not be late. College is making me trash. Still waiting for ABS-CBN to contact me so I can revolutionize the PH industry with quality stories.

ps: thank you for all of your comments. i read and I appreciate them all ❤