Before Daybreak

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Description

In the midst of a meadow was where low-key arrogant flower spirit Luhan found bashful Kris who was drunk as a sack but very ready to flirt up a storm. Deep conversations are shared under the moonlight but as a mysterious fog looms towards them, everything including their fateful encounter is questioned.

Foreword

Runner-Up in ⇝Synchronicity Monthly Writing Contest - November Round⇜!

Note: This is part 2 of my 2016 NaNoWriMo project - Goal: 5k (Click for parts 1 and 3)

"the fact that there's romance, but also not really romance makes my aro heart flutter ;D" - fefedove

"wow...this is beautiful. I think I was always craving for this kind of fic, one that's poetic in the AH it's written, a love story but not a love story, one where someone could actually get away with being cheezy as hell. I love all the things questioned here, love, life reality. How innocent the banter between Luhan and kris was. It WAS poetry, this whole FIc... Thank you for sharing your talent <3" - lockedoutofheaven96

"Philosophy major approves! :p great job incorporating the eternal methaphysical questions into this fluffy piece of perfection. Luhan's visual soo enables me to imagine him as a flower spirit, he is ethereal in his beauty! Well done, fantastically written, i love finding such gems here!" - vickymatters

"This IS poetry. It's so whimsical, cute, slightly tragic. I love it especially the part where they question what really is real and what isn't. I absolutely love your innocent style of writing, so keep doing just that!! ;)" - tykawa

"Truly, time felt endless in this created world. Whichever the case, both the boys' personas were distinct and well developed. You did an extremely good job at this. Still so beautifully written, beautifully done. I felt like it was a dream, the whole thing, like it was a memory etched in my own brain. That's how well you brought the story to life, and through mostly dialogue too. Amazing job, per usual." - veneficious

"I love the philosophical dichotomy between reality and fantasy that you explored. And the fluff was very well intertwined without taking away from the deeper aspects of the story, which I really liked. ^^ Solid piece and I love this flower spirit setting that you created. :)" - luv_kero

Entered into: LOVE FOR SINKING SHIPS A Short Story Contest

Credits to:

DISCLAIMER: Apart from resident flower boy Luhan and certified male god Kris whom I unfortunately do not own, everything that is involved in this story belongs to me. Any plot idea or dialogue that may resemble that of a fellow work is merely coincidental. Please respect the right of ownership and kindly refrain from plagiarism. Unless my permission has been given, please do NOT copy, print, repost, save, translate or redistribute this story in any way. Thank you very much! ♥

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

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Philosophies #1 Mar 13, 2017 02:50:30

Chapter 1: To be honest, I tend to run away from any story that has even a whisper of romance. But this story, I will fully admit, caught my attention and was both cute and philosophical simultaneously. Excellent piece of prose.

lilith9999 #2 Feb 16, 2017 17:34:37

Chapter 1: Merveilleux récit ! Il allie fantaisie, poésie, philosophie et style romanesque de façon exquise. A la manière de St Exupéry, l'auteur du Petit Prince, tu m'as fait vivre un pause enchantée en parlant d'amour, de la liberté, de l'aliénation à la société ; autant de valeurs et de concepts admirablement pesés et offerts dans ton récit. Merveilleux. Je l'inscris dans mes favoris.

joohyein #3 Jan 18, 2017 03:33:33

Chapter 1: A poetic style of writing is not really my cup of tea, but I think this story is good so far. I admired how you described about Luhan & Kris feelings although I am still confused on how quick Kris realized that he had grown some feelings, or love, for Luhan. At first, I thought it was slow since both of them only talked to each other about the flower spirits background & I could see Kris' eargerness to make Luhan believe him. But then after Luhan mentioned about how a flower spirit can die, then I noticed that this story was going to its end after a night(?). I like how you ended it, but I really want to know how Kris got in there. Was it just a dream? Or was he really dead? Did I miss any important hints up there? Thehehe~ anyway, keep on writing. Your story The First Time is still one of my fav so far but this story is amazing too. It's hard to find a writer who can write in this style. ^^

ellethereal #4 Jan 10, 2017 06:19:03

Chapter 1: Omg, kris is so deep! And like them, I don't believe in love at first sight either. How could someone love a person just by their first meeting? It wouldn't be loving them for who they are, but liking them simply for their appearance, for the fictional character they picture the person to be. I like what Kris said, "Everyone yearns for romance, but is love truly as perfect as it seems?" That's so true, love is never perfect, nothing ever is. Afterall, humans aren't perfect. But that's just the thing, love doesn't need to be perfect- it's the imperfection that makes love beautiful. I agree that we can't ever be free, we have lots of things pulling us down and keeping us from doing the things we want. But I truly believe that as long as you have no regrets and live your life the way you want it to, you might not be 'free' in the world, but in your heart, you'll feel free. Even though it's bit cliche about the arranged marriage, it's still really sad. Actually, I felt it would have been better without that. But omg kris is so lustful and bold lmao XD But i'd like to know more about the fantasy world, what kind of duties flower spirits do and stuff. Why must they do their duties only after daybreak?

Elythia #5 Dec 22, 2016 09:21:02

(P3)
This is especially so for the part where the 'turning point' of this story happened, if you know which part I'm referring to (not gonna state it since that's a major spoiler :3) Maybe it'll feel more natural if the transitional parts in between are more fleshed out (...or maybe I just want more of this story. Hehehe)

So yeah, thanks for this masterpiece! Btw, I was thinking that it would be really cool if there is flower language in the story. It would've added to the beauty that this story already has. Then again, I really like any sort of language (like seasonal language, gemstone language, colour language... okay I should just stop here before I get overexcited HAHA)

Elythia #6 Dec 22, 2016 09:20:52

(P2)
Luhan is adorable but I have to say that I like Kris a lot, surprisingly. His character isn't usually my type, but it's nice to see that behind all that flamboyant image, he is really reflective of his own life and the world around him. And I can really relate to him. Sometimes I wonder if we're all just fictional characters in another author's world (just like W lol), or game players in a MMORPG who are tackling the game that is life (there's an anime about this too, so I know I'm not a lunatic for thinking about all these things o.O). And who knows, maybe we are. We never know for sure ; u ;

Anyways, your writing style is very elegant and suits the magical atmosphere of this story. I can really imagine all the imagery surface vividly in my head. There are also subtle details that set up another sort of vibe befitting for the ending. Basically, your writing has helped my immersion into this fantasy world so kudos for that ; u ; Oh, and talking about the ending, I think it's cool. I honestly couldn't imagine how this story would end, but I think this ending is very suitable for the story.

Okay, so now, I shall give my criticism on what I thought wasn't so good, because I must be the rain on a sunny parade HAHAHA. Jokes aside, the flow seems a little jumpy to me. It's not that I can pinpoint what actually is wrong, but it just feels like it's jumping from one semblance of feeling to another. I think it started when Krease asked Luhan whether he had a girlfriend (a more humourous tone), and then he randomly started talking about his pessimistic thoughts about love. The randomness won't feel too out-of-place (since it's Krease, and it kinda makes sense in a weird way.), but I think the transition between a lighter to a darker tone is a little awkward. The transition just feels a little awkward in my opinion.

(...this is so long that it even needs a part 3. I'm so sorry for spamming your comment section. Not. xD)

Elythia #7 Dec 22, 2016 09:19:32

This. Is. Simply. Art.
To start off, I love how there's a layer of humour masked beneath the depths of this story, yet at the same time, it explores some philosophical themes (some which I have thought of before myself, although I don't have a soulmate to talk to unlike these two fellows haha). The story's plot is very simple and straightforward. It's just a little conversation under the moonlight. At the same time, I think this simplicity has really highlighted the main messages of this story. Oh, how I wish the flower field is an actual reality, or if the chaos the world is facing is just a mere dream. I guess it can be if I envision it to be so HAHAHA. Sadly, just dreaming won't solve the problems that have been plaguing humanity forever.

I honestly agree that there's no true definition to freedom, especially not in this world. There will always be rules binding us wherever we go, and even if those are not explicit rules, they may still be invincible rules that haunt us with every step we take (peer pressure, parents' pressure and even the pressure of keeping up with time ; n ;)

Now, let's talk about the lighter bits of the story hehe. 'what in the name of weeds'... 'For the love of daisies' HAHAHA omg I swear Luhan is such a cute flower spirit. I can't with the random plants references ; n ; That being said, that has really added some flavour into his character. Not to mention, the characters' chemistry is the bomb. They can have all those conversations which roll in the deep, but at the same time, Kris (or more like Krease) has no problem being kreasy and flirty with Luhan. Their dynamic is really entertaining to read, especially with how Luhan is just so done with Krease being kreasy (but we all know you secretly like it Lulu... don't deny it ^^ too bad you're still bounded with rules T_T).

(So I've exceeded the word limit with my ramblings... again. There'll be a part 2 to this long commentary *^*)

luv_kero ^{2443 streak} #8 Dec 12, 2016 23:28:52

Chapter 1: Finally had a chance to read this after completing my final exams. And I love the philosophical dichotomy between reality and fantasy that you explored. And the fluff was very well intertwined without taking away from the deeper aspects of the story, which I really liked. ^^ Solid piece and I love this flower spirit setting that you created. :)

GazettExoticfan12 #9 Dec 8, 2016 19:36:46

Chapter 1: I.Loved.IT!!!!!! Philosophical questions with the touch of fluff and romance and Kris' cheesy lines, yes I totally loved it. Is one of the other fics kind of like a sequel or prequel? Awww, now I have so many Krishan feels!!!!!