Unexpected

By the time you arrived at the boutel, you were already drained of tears and you seemed to become a mindless zombie, dragging yourself up the stairs, refusing to speak or even look at Sungyeol. He kept trying to get a word out of you, but your mouth was shut tight. You could see nothing, hear nothing but the memory of Sunggyu’s angry face and the venom in his voice.

“I’ll buy you ice cream if you just talk,” Sungyeol offered.

Silence.

“Come on, ~~~~-ah, don’t be like that!” he said in frustration as followed you to your room. “Don’t just keep it in! Say something!”

Still, you refused to say a word as you swiped your key card on the door’s electronic lock. Liar. Liar. Liar. Sunggyu’s words were drumming through your ears incessantly, and Sungyeol’s wails were drowned out by its repetitive drone.

“Are you seriously not going to speak?”

Silence.

The following seconds seemed to happen in a flash, and the next thing you knew, Sungyeol had pinned you to himself, one arm wrapped around your waist, the other holding you by the neck. It took you a few seconds to realize what was happening.

He’s… kissing me?

Your first instinct was to push him away, but something made you stop. Some strange sorcery appeared to have made Sunggyu’s voice stop running through your mind. It was as if the repetitive Liar that kept pounding in your head disappeared the moment Sungyeol’s lips touched yours.

You couldn’t be sure when it started, but it was like something inside you snapped, and you found yourself clutching at his shirt, pulling him closer. Everything was in a haze, and it felt like you were being spun in a tight circle. However, you were surprised to find that, even if every second made you more and more dizzy, you were actually liking it. You had no idea why you were kissing him back; all you knew was that, as long as his lips were on yours, Sunggyu’s angry voice stayed away. After a while, every thought in your head had already disappeared, all strength sucked out of your system, and you were just clinging to his lips for dear life. You didn’t even know how you ended up inside your room.

After what seemed like an eternity, Sungyeol finally broke the kiss. You were literally gasping for air, and when you opened your eyes, you saw that he was also doing the same. For a moment, you were just both panting, trying to steady yourselves. Suddenly, Sungyeol leaned in, and for a split-second, you braced yourself, thinking he’d kiss you again. However, he turned his head, his lips almost touching your ear.

“This is the part where you slap me and beat me to death.”

And that’s exactly what you did.

SLAP!

“YOU FREAKING BYUNTAE!” you yelled as you beat your fists against his chest. “HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME?!!!” At the back of your head, you knew that it wasn’t entirely his fault because you were also kissing him back, but the thought just made you beat him even harder. Whether it was because of anger for what he did, embarrassment for what YOU also did, or something else completely, you couldn’t tell anymore.

You kept pushing him, shoving, punching his chest, but he wouldn’t do anything to stop you. He just stood there, letting you beat the crap out of him. You didn’t stop until it felt like your arms were about to fall off from exhaustion.

“Well, you’re talking now, huh?” he said. He wasn’t even grinning, but he might as well have been. The words were enough to make you ball up your fists again.

“How dare you do that just to make me talk! How dare you! How dare you!—“

At that moment, he grasped at your wrist and pulled you to him, your cries muffled by his chest. You continued pounding at him with your free hand, but you weren’t really accomplishing anything from it.

“That’s how you do it,” he murmured. “If you’re frustrated at something, don’t just keep it in. Cry, scream, beat things up. Don’t keep torturing yourself.”

By this time, you were already crying again. It was only then that you realized that the anger you had wasn’t simply caused by the kiss. For some reason, a part of it was still because of Sunggyu. And it occurred to you that Sungyeol did that to break the ice you made around yourself – to make you pour out your anger. And although it was a twisted method, you had to admit that it worked. Somehow, you felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders now that you had released the steam.

When you had finally stopped crying again, you and Sungyeol sat sprawled against the foot of your bed.

“You know what? Stop stressing over it,” he said. “Sunggyu hyung’s bound to come around sooner or later.”

“And what makes you say that?” you asked, not believing him at all. After Sunggyu’s outburst earlier, it just seemed too impossible.

“The Great Master Yeol said so, therefore, it will happen.”

That, of course, earned him a whack at the head. 

Well, what did I expect? Of course he can’t be serious for more than ten minutes. He’d die before it happens.

“Oww! What was that for?” he whined. “Don’t you still believe in me?!”

You just rolled your eyes at him.

“Yah! Didn’t I say it before? The other members would forgive you! And look! It really happened, didn’t it?” he said indignantly.

“Whatever.” But you had to admit, he was kind of right.

“Aisshh… Fine. Don’t believe me,” he scowled and crossed his arms over his chest.

You were both silent for a while.

“Thanks,” you said, finally breaking the silence.

“What?”

“Earlier at the studio… Thanks for standing up for me.”

Sungyeol looked like he was about to say something but changed his mind. Instead, his signature mischievous grin stretched on his face again. “As I said, you owe me a lot, slave.”

You fought the urge to give him a karate chop.

“Well, I’ll be going now,” he announced as he stood up. “Manager hyung might kill me if he finds out that I’m not at the dorm yet.”

“I hope he does,” you muttered under your breath.

“Bwoh?”

“Nothing! Go on, annyeong, goodbye, sayonara!” you said as you pushed him towards the door. He had already started walking down the hall when he suddenly turned his head and looked back at you.

“By the way, that was one wicked kiss.” He snickered evilly before running away to safety.

“That jerk!” you muttered as you went back inside your room. But the damage was done, and your mind had already started wandering back to the incident. Involuntarily, your fingers brushed through your lips as the kiss flashed through your memory. Oddly, it felt… good.

WHAT THE HECK AM I THINKING???!!! You quickly shook your head in an attempt to clear your thoughts. I must be going crazy. I’m thinking too much. I should probably sleep this off.

+

As Sungyeol walked down the stairs, the grin on his face slowly faded. He stopped in his tracks, fists clenched. Without warning, he hit the wall beside him.

Why did I do it?! He hit the wall with his fist again. Why did I kiss her?! Why did I let myself lose control, dammit?!

He kept hitting the wall, again and again, regardless of the pain that was searing through his knuckles. 

You should’ve just pushed me away. Why did you have to kiss me back? Now it’s even harder for me not to—

Not even allowing himself to finish the thought, he quickly walked out of the building. And without another word, he headed back to the dorm, completely ignoring the streaks of blood that now decorated the back of his hand.

+

Before hitting the sacks, you decided to take a long comforting shower to clear your mind. When you finally finished, you headed towards the bed and was just about to sleep when something caught your eye. Curious, you walked over to the door and picked up the tiny piece of paper that someone had apparently slipped inside. A short message was scrawled through it, and your eyes widened when you saw the familiar handwriting. Hurriedly, you dug through your bag to confirm your hunch. When you found the thing you were looking for, you almost gasped. It did match: the handwriting on the tiny piece of paper was similar to the one on the note that Sunggyu left you weeks ago when he left the boutel after your first meeting.

This means… Sunggyu oppa… He…

Without thinking twice, you changed your clothes and headed out, still clutching the tiny paper tightly in your hands - the paper which contained a message so short but meant the world to you:

I’m sorry.