Chapter 17

 

 

My past…. And my hope for a future…

 

 

SNSD play at FUNDae Radio….

            “Last night the member of Nation’s Girl Group SNSD was the guest and it was pure chaos as they all fight for the attention of the youngest DJ… Little Dragon Jiyeon…”

I really like their interaction… I saw how they adore the kid… Jiyeon even called the young girls of SNSD as Aunty Princess. Jiyeon as the 9th member… We Sones approve of it. Beside she did say that she dance Gee for her mom once. Jiyeon is perfect… she is perfect as a radio DJ the girls even fell in love with her.

 

Little Dragon has a suitor?

            “… As the last caller of the night was a little boy, netizens can’t help the fact that it was cute how Jiyeon call the boy Oppa and how the boy wanted to be Jiyeon’s friend…”

Jiyeon was so cute… she didn’t know that she is flirting hahahah. That boy is in deep . Jiyeon has now fanboys he will surely be grilled. They are not flirting stop with that erted thoughts. Jiyeon just respect the kid because he is older beside they are too young.

 

Breaking news! Kim Taeyeon aka Little Dragon’s mom was spotted auditioning for KPOPStar…

            “… According to some netizens they saw Little Dragon’s mother auditioning for the show. According to some reports the shows PD was persuading her to be part of the show as a contestant…”

Wait is she using her daughter’s fame to her advantage? So she wanted to be famous too? Yes!! We can now hear her golden voice. I will be cheering for her. So this is what Little Jiyeon when she wishes her mom to chase her happiness… she really is a good child.

 

 

 

 

Jiyong’s pov…   

 

 

Denial this is what I feel whenever I see Taeyeon. I know that I like her it is just that I don’t know if I have the right to love her. The guilt in the past prevented me from getting closer to Taeyeon and it really taking a toll on me.

I have tried to avoid her, though not deliberately but from time to time. I reverted back in staying at my studio and it was making my friends and labelmates worried.

“Okay this should stop!” Youngbae said to me.

Excluding TOP hyung all of the main producers in our company are here in a monthly meeting and it seems like they are looking at me now.

“Jiyong what is the problem now?” YG hyung ask me. “Since it’s been days since you went home early I am suspecting that you and your girlfriend are fighting?”

“No we are not fighting and she isn’t my girlfriend either.” I blurted out.

“So the secret is out! You do have a girl hiding from us.” Sean hyung said to me.

“Hey spill it.” Kush and Jinu hyung said as they try to arm lock me.

“I won’t talk! You can’t make me!” I said resisting.

“But Ji if you do like this girl why not try and date her?” Psy hyung maturely said.

“Hyung is right.” Tablo hyung agreed. “It’s been years since I saw you like someone.”

“Hey Ji… I’m not really against you dating but… are you really over her?” YG hyung said.

With that everyone felt silent and I just bow my head. “I haven’t gotten those nightmares hyung.” I confess to them. “I also don’t need to drink just for me to sleep.”

“Are you serious Ji?” Youngbae said happily.

“Yeah… it’s just that I don’t know if it is okay for me to be like this.” I said to them.

“Hey Ji… it’s not your fault, practically speaking we are the one who try to meddle with your life and we are really sorry for that.” YG hyung said.

That’s right 4 years ago… that dreaded day… when I lost her completely.

 

Flashback:

 

She was like a natural disaster. She wasn’t even a fan or someone who love music. A year from the day Youngbae and I debuted as a duo, I met her. She goes by the name Erica, but her real name was Kwon Taehee. She is a brash girl who wonders in YG one afternoon to look around.

“Hey do you know where the office is?” She suddenly asks me.

“Who are you? I don’t think I have seen you here before?” I ask her.

“I’m not a saesang okay…” She said avoiding my eyes.

“Then why are you here?” I ask again.

She then looks around and then saw the flyer “I am applying for a position of a manager.” She said to me. “But it seems that I am lost.”

It was blatant lie but of course I am amused of her attitude. I then guided her to YG’s office and then my boss told me that she will be the new manager. I can’t even comprehend why such girl will become our group manager, I was just doing it as a joke but he took it seriously.

“Hey are you seriously applying for the job or are you just some idiot who just barge in here?” I ask her.

“I am seriously applying for the position okay?” She said. “Uhmm by the way what’s a manager?” She asks with her innocent eye.

That day was our first meeting and the day continuing that was filled with unfortunate events. She became our manager per say, and she isn’t good at it for the past 3 months, she even forgot my schedule personally. We bicker but that made us grew closer. She is the same age as me, and the reason she was at YG was because she was task by some fans outside to take some souvenirs from their idols. In other words she is a thief for saesang fans. Truthfully she is quite a beauty but she hid it with her thick glasses and unorganized hair. She is also witty and very easy to talk with.

A year pass and something unexpected happen… I fell in love with her. Normally I would court her and ask her for her to be my girlfriend but… it didn’t fall exactly like that. I confess to her and she just said ok just like that. An unromantic thing actually. We did laugh though like confessing was just a funny thing.

So for almost a year we dated secretly. It was good thing that she was my manager so our secret is kept. But after that we got found out by YG himself. At first he was furious since my image as an idol is worst that your average idol but hey we are still famous in Korea and Japan…so he isn’t complaining, though he congratulate me he did change my manager and Erica was station to 2NE1 who was debuting, it is also for us not to be caught by the media. It was a good since we met once in a while in the agency and sometimes at the concert. Our relationship also been known throughout YG. But something happen… it was our 3rd anniversary when Erica left without even saying anything… At first I ask YG hyung about it but he only said that she went to him to request a vacation. She said she need to rest for a while since she was getting sick every day but days turn into months and it became a year but she never came back

“What do you mean you couldn’t find her?” I ask furiously. I just came back from our Japan tour and the people I hire to find her said that they give up.

“Jiyong calm down.” Youngbae tried to restrain me.

“Sir the information she gave was all false. Even her birth place.” They said to me.

I was about to say something when Gummy noona suddenly came in. I look at him and with his sad eyes he said. “Ji… Erica…”

“What about her? Did she contact you?” I said with hopes.

“Erica… she is…” Gummy noona suddenly cries.

I ran throught the hospital corridors. I don’t even care if they recognized me. As soon as I receive the news, I rush to the hospital where she is not even listening to the words of friends, and my Boss. As I saw her lying on the bed I held her lifeless body

“Yah! Wake up.” I said trying to wake her up. “This is not a good joke… Yah!! Erica!”

But she didn’t move I shook her body but only silence…

That is when it finally sinks in. tears suddenly formed in my eyes and I cried because the hand of the one I love was now dead.

“Erica.” I called out as I cry in front of her lifeless body.

My boss came just a few minutes afterwards. He was also shock of what happen and felt sorry too. According to the report Erica was involve in a car crash along with a truck and another car. There were no survivors.

That is when I learn about Erica’s life. She was an orphan since birth and went to different poster parent until she’d reach adulthood that is why she treated the people at YG as family. As her employer, YG hyung prepare her funeral, as for me I didn’t accept it so easily. I went to clubs drink and cause trouble. I didn’t even attend the funeral or went to her grave to visit her. Until a letter address came to me. It was from her. She said she was sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, that I should forget about her and also sorry for her being a coward and not protecting our child. I grip the letter as I read that she had a miscarriage and was afraid to face me. I was overcome of guilt and anger that I couldn’t protect her and my unborn child. After that I was involve in a drug scandal. YG was furious but still understand me and what I am going through. He made me go on hiatus while Youngbae go on as solo. That is when I met Kiko and she became my psychologist.

After 4 years I then met Taeyeon, a goddess drenched in rain…

 

End of flashback…

 

 

 

 

After the meeting I went to my studio and open a lock drawer here. There I saw the pendant it was the one she gave to me for my successful solo debut. It was nothing special not even worth a thousand dollar but the memories it have were priceless.

After a while I went back to my apartment to see that the two have already gone to sleep. As usual I went to their room to see them.

“I’m sorry… but I like you Taeyeon-shi…” I muttered. “I like you but… I don’t know how confront this feeling for you. I’m sorry… please wait until I face my sin first.”

I then went to my room, and remember Erica but the thing is I dream of her… for the first time since I have those nightmares.

“Erica!” I called out to her but even though I wanted to get close to her I can’t.

But surprisingly she went towards me and hugged me, the warm embrace that I remember, I just cry infront her and then she said something to me. Something that I will try accomplish…

And then she went in to the light and vanished. That is the time I wake up with tears in my eyes and when I raise my hand I saw the pendant in my hand. When did I bring this?

Then I remember what Erica said. “I should properly visit her…”

As I went out I then saw Jiyeon and Taeyeon properly dress and eating breakfast. I then notice that it was already 6 in the morning.

“She doesn’t have school today?” I ask as I joined them.

“We will be visiting Halmeoni, and Hal-aboeji.” Jiyeon said smiling.

“You are going to visit Umma?” I ask.

“No… we are going to visit my parent’s grave today.” Taeyeon said to me. “It’s the anniversary of their death so we will go and pay some respect for them.”

“It is in Jeonju right?” I ask and she just nodded. “Then let me drive you there.” I suggested.

“But it is far away… We can grab a bus you know… I don’t want to trouble you.” Taeyeon said.

“You are not troubling me; beside I have someone I should visit there.” I said to her. “Wait for me, I will change quickly.”

I hurriedly went to my room and find something comfortable and a more appropriate for me to wear. In other words something that G-Dragon won’t wear. After a while I went out and saw Taeyeon with a bunch of lunch boxes in toll.

“Some of them are offering for my parent’s grave.” She explained.

Before we went down, I texted my manager and said that I will be going on a road trip today and also don’t contact me today. Of course my manager called right away but I turn off my phone and I get my other phone. The one which I use for family emergency, Taeyeon and Jiyeon’s number is also save there.

“Okay let’s go.” I said to her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taeyeon’s pov…

 

 

I couldn’t look at him in the eye. Last night I heard his confession. He said he likes me but was he was sorry for it. He even asks me to wait for him! I don’t understand why he says that but since last night his words linger in my head. It is not helping that he will accompany us today.

Jiyong seems a little weird today. He is somewhat gentle towards me and his aura seems like those I have seen on male lead of drama. Also, I might point out that he is extremely handsome today. This natural look of him is extremely suits him, but of course I don’t want to say it to him exactly.

“Ajushi do you have a friend there?” Jiyeon asks.

“Ahh yeah… this will the first time that I visit her?” He said.

When I heard that it was a girl I felt disappointed. Maybe this girl is his girlfriend.

“She is a friend that passed away.” He said to me.

“Sorry…” I apologize and Jiyeon apologize too.

“Don’t worry about it beside it’s my fault that I haven’t visited her grave.” H