Undecided

Description

[One shot] He moved on, she moved on. It's already over, forever ago. 

They decided to meet again to attend the funeral of their dog named Haru.

Foreword

Author's note: This is a story written by an amateur so please bear with it. (Lol) 
-Originally Posted on WattPad-

It's 3:30 in morning when her phone went ringing. , she cursed under her breath. She's pretty sure that she already resigned from her job yesterday. Dara accepted the call without even knowing who the caller was.

"Hello?" She answered lazily.

"Hey.... It's me.... uhmmm...How should I say this...." The caller's voice somehow eerily familiar to Dara's ear. She didn't hung up and she wait till the caller to say something. "It's Donghae, you know as in Lee Donghae", She almost leaped out from her bed in surprise. It's Donghae! Lee Freaking Donghae! Her mind went screaming. It's been 5 years since they broke up. She already moved on and he already moved on.

"Hello? Uhh Dara?", she snapped back into reality when she heard him calling her name. "Uhh yeah... Sorry about that. It's just--"

"Yeah, I know you didn't expect that I'll call you again, after 5 years I think. If you're thinking about where did I got your number, I called Bom and asked her your new number". He said and he laughed awkwardly. "Yeah. Sure, why did you call?", she broke the awkward tension between them. "Yeah. It's about Haru, you still remember her, right?" He said and he cleared his throat. "Yeah, it's the puppy we bought on our 2nd anniversary. Why?"

"She died yesterday. I want to meet up with you, uhmm at least, attend the funeral..." He paused and took a deep breath which barely audible to Dara's ears. "If you can't attend the funeral, it's fine. I know you're busy and--" she didn't let him continue on what he about to say.

"I'm going. Are you still in there right? Meet me at the train station today. Be there at 6AM." She said and she stood up. "Yes, still the same place. Okay, gonna be there." He said. "Okay, bye" she said and hunged up her phone. She sprinted to her closet, what should I wear? She asked herself while scanning her clothes. She decided to wear white v-neck shirt and skinny jeans. When she's about to leave, a picture of her together with Donghae and Haru caught her attention, she picked it up and went outside. Maybe I'll bury this picture together with Haru.

After an hour and a half, she arrived at the train station and texted Donghae

|To: Donghae
         Where are you? I'm at the train station.

After a few minutes, he replied.

|From: Donghae
              I'm at the coffee shop near the station, you know where is it, right?

Dara didn't reply. She already knew where the coffee shop at, that's the place where they met 10 years ago. She gripped her shoulder bag's strap as she scan the place. She saw a man drinking coffee while he's staring at the window, she already recognized him. Of course, they were living together under the same roof for 4 years, in the past. She went to the table, Donghae shifted his gaze to Dara. He stopped drinking his coffee and stood up, he offered his hand for a handshake and she accepted it. They didn't utter a single word as they sat down. Dara is sitting opposite of Donghae's.

"So... How are you?" He asked Dara, he shifted his gaze again at the window. She rolled her eyes and she chuckled softly making Donghae to smile. "Fine and beautiful, as always. How about you, Mr. Lee?" She said as she wiggles her brow at Donghae, he laughed softly at her. They realized it's not that awkward anymore, time did fix everything. They thought that time really did heal their pain. "Still the same nerd you met here." He said and he smiled brightly. "So you're still writing a book? Or you already focused on painting?" She asked him as she sipped her hot chocolate drink. "Both, I'm currently working on my novel, and I paint on my free time", he said. She smiled, "Maybe I could read it after you finish the novel."

"Yes, you can read it. But it'll not be free"

"Ugh! Why?! That's unfair, we used to be together you know"

"Sorry but you need to buy it if it'll be published."

"Wah~ so unfair~"

They remembered the things they've done when they were still dating, they just laughed it off. They realized that it is not that painful to recall those memories, they really did moved on.

They went to the bus station after they finished their drinks. Dara suddenly remembered the picture she brought. "Oh yeah, I brought a picture of us together with Haru, I thought that it would be a nice idea if I'll bury the picture together with her." She said as she took the picture from her bag and gave it to him. He stared at the picture for a few seconds and he smiled, he remembered how happy they were when they're still dating. The bus stopped in front of them and they went inside, Dara sat next to the window and Donghae sat beside Dara.

"Oh I remember that restaurant" Dara said while pointing at the old restaurant. "That's the place where we had our first date." She said and she smiled. "Yes, I heard a rumor that the restaurant will be demolished next month." He said. She frowned at him, he gave a confusing look to her, "What?" He asked. "You only said that because that's the place where we had our first date, are you still bitter? Or could it be that you still have feelings for me?" She said and she stared at his eyes, after a few seconds she laughed. He smiled, "Oh darling, I know how your mind works." He said and they both laughed. "Well, your jedi tricks won't work on me tho." She said and shifted her gaze at the window.

They can't help it, they asked theirselves. Did we loved each other that much?

The bus stopped and they realized they're already there. They went outside and walk to Donghae's house, she closed her eyes and feel the cool breeze caressing her face. She felt like she's finally home. They didn't exchange any words nor glance until they reached Donghae's house.

He opened the door and turn on the lights. Papers scattered around the living room, messy desks, unfinished paintings everywhere and a scent of mint air freshener welcomed her. 

"Still messy, huh?" She asked. "Yeah, sorry about that, I don't have time to clean." He said as he picked up the small box on his desk.

"What's that?" She asked him while eyeing the box. "Haru's ash box." He said, still holding the box. "C-can I...uh...hold her a bit? Uhmm just..hold her before we bury her..." She said, he silently gave the box to Dara. She hugged the box and whisper, "Sorry, mommy's not here for you. Sorry for leaving you, mommy loves you, I'm sure daddy loves you too. Go to a nice place, Haru" Donghae is staring at her, listening. Donghae walked inside of his room, he took the pictures he have with Dara, stuff they bought together and their couple ring. He decided to bury those stuff together with Haru. He went to the living room, he saw Dara is still hugging Haru's ash box.

"Let's go, I already dig a hole for her." He said and they went to his backward. He let Dara to sat on the bench, he placed his box on the bench. "What's that?" She asked Donghae while pointing at the box. "That's the stuff we had when we were dating, I decided to bury those together with Haru, so that she can remember us." He said while placing the ash box on the hole. "Oh yeah? Can I take a look?" She asked him, he stood up and sat beside her and opened the box. "Woah, our pictures." She said as she grabbed the pictures.

"I looked like a kid here. Too young~"

"I looked like a little piece of here"

"Look it's Haru."

"It's a waste to bury this picture, she looks cute here." He said and took the picture from Dara's hand. "Hey! I want that picture!" She tries to reach Donghae's hand but she can't reach it. "Come and get it, shortie" He said and he suddenly run, Dara can't chase him. Damn he's fast, she muttered. "H-heyy... Haru's waiting here...ha..." She said as she catches her breath. "Oh yeah.." He said and he retreated back. Dara suddenly grabbed the picture from Donghae's hand and said, "Thanks" she smiled brightly at him making Donghae to growl. He turned his back and started to bury things, she noticed the couple rings they bought on their first anniversary. "Ya! That's our ring, you're gonna bury that too?" She asked. "Yeah" he said to Dara, still not turning his head to her. "Why?" She asked making Donghae to turn. "It's because we're somehow connected, well, until now, because of Haru." He said. The place went silence.

The funeral is over, they both stood up in front of Haru's grave. "Something's missing", she whispered. She picked up the daisy she found near the fence and placed the flower on Haru's grave. "Uhh, do we need to do some ritual or something?" He asked her while eyeing on the grave. "Nah, I think we should say good bye or something." She said. They stared to each other. "Ok" he said with a smile.

"Bye Haru~ Go to a nice place~"

"We will miss you~"

"Mommy loves you and daddy l-lo-ves y-ou...too" Her voice cracks and soon she realized she's crying. Donghae pulled her closer and gave her a warm hug, to his surprise Dara hugged him back. Feeling each other's warmth, his tears began to fall too.

Why did I cry?

Did I cry for Haru?

Did I cry for myself?

Did I cry for her?

****

It's 5:15PM and Dara decided to go home, they went together to the bus station. While Dara is waiting for the bus, Donghae said something.

"You know, I think it's better if we didn't broke up" He said, Dara stared at him waiting for his explanation. "Why?" She asked. "Maybe if we didn't broke, maybe Haru lived longer, maybe we were married today, maybe we'll having a baby or maybe we didn't have to feel those emotions." He said. Dara turned her head up and stared at the sky. "I'm sick of having 'what-ifs' thoughts or 'maybes' thoughts, I sick of regretting things. That's why we decided to move on because we don't want to feel the scariest feeling, which is regret." She said, she still staring at the sky. Donghae looked at her for a few seconds and he shifted his gaze at the sky. "Yeah, I think so." He said and he chuckled. "Our ending " He added. Dara laughed at him, "Endings meant to be . I hate endings" she said. "You know there's happy ending and there's sad ending, but our ending is somehow in between" she paused, Donghae stared at her, letting her to continue. "We're sad and happy at the same time, I don't know, undecided feelings, I think?" She added, "Yeah" He agreed quietly. They're both miserable and happy at the same time.

They heard the bus is approaching and Dara stood up. "So this is a goodbye, then" He said and he smiled at her. Dara rolled her eyes, "what's good in goodbye? I hate goodbyes" She said, Donghae laughed at her. "Then take care, Dara" they smiled at each other. Dara turned her back and proceed to the bus. Donghae stood up and walked away.

He realized that the moment when Dara entered the bus, it'll going to be late, it's gonna be the end, he's fighting his urge to run after Dara and stopped Dara from leaving and tell her to start over again, but he didn't. He didn't take the chance to start over again, he walked away. He chose to be a coward.

He went to his messy desk and started to scribbling his idea for his epilogue.

Making big life decision is scary but we didn't realize that regret is scrarier. We, humans, are afraid to take risks. We are afraid to feel disappointed, we are afraid to lose face and we are afraid to do something new, something new that would break the stereotype. But because if we didn't fit in on our society, we became what they called "losers".

In the end, we will regret the relationships we afraid to have and we will regret the decisions we afraid to do.

We are all undecided.

"I should stopped you from leaving" He muttered at Dara's picture. "Haru, your dad is an idiot." He whispered. "Our ending is a piece of "

He started to write his dedication;

To Dara, thank you for the memories.

He smiled as he recalled his memories with her, those fights, tears, joy, laughters, endless arguments, kisses and warm hugs; they're nothing but memories, but still those memories have a special place to their hearts.

Fin

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Author's note: This is my first oneshot/story in AFF, sorry for the grammatical errors. Thank you for reading xx

Comments

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daraxxidonghae #1
OH MY GOSH
KaHyun #2
Thanks for this!:)
teukilicious2010 #3
Thank you.
RoyalBlackELF
#4
Awwww. That's just too sad. You should've just run after her. Call her. Text her. 5 years already. Aigoo donghae and dara. T_T

Thank for the one shot!!! :)
Crazy4dara #5
Ending isn't always bad. An ending means a new beginning.....may be some day they will find their happy ending may be not with each other but with some one else...or if they are really fated well then...thats another story...