May 2, 2016

Dear Diary,

It’s been weeks and I still haven’t slept well. Whenever I try to sleep, I couldn’t help but think of what could’ve been. Just dying would’ve been easier for me.  Ever since I lost her to Tzuyu, my life isn’t worth living anymore. I have nothing but regrets. I don’t want to live in a world wherein she doesn’t know our memories together existed. That’s why I’m writing this as my final letter to myself. These will serve as my final words in this world: “Chaeyoung, forgive me, and I love you.”

I wrote those words unhesitant. I don’t even have second thoughts. I have made up my mind. I stared at the page for so long before I put the two diaries on my chest beneath my shirt. I have no tears left to spare and I don’t have the slightest regret of what I’m about to do right now.

I stood up from my desk and walked towards the door heading the rooftop. As I open the door, I could feel the breeze that bounced on my cheek. The once grey sky that I gazed at before I try killing myself is now blue. That’s weird.

I reached the edge of the rooftop. Once again, just like that day, I looked down at the tiny cars and people that pass by. It seems like an ordinary day for them. Nothing changed for them.

I don’t think destiny will play another game for me again. I’m sick of it.

I took a step closer at the edge. I stood straight and spread my arms.

I closed my eyes. I let out a single teardrop.

I was about to let myself fall when I felt someone back hugged me.

“Don’t do it.”

I immediately recognized her voice.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I said don’t do it!” Chaeyoung shouted as she tightens her hug.

“Okay let’s talk. Let go of me now.” I told her calmly. “No. I’m scared.” She started crying.

“Trust me.” I said. She suddenly paused and loosened her hug and eventually put her arms down. I turned around to face her.

“How did you know I was gonna…” I asked.

“Nayeon Unnie.” she answered.

Nayeon must’ve remembered the date that I’m supposed to jump off the rooftop when she read my diary. I sighed. “Then what are you doing here?” I asked.

“I love you.”

Those words shocked me. It’s been so long since I heard such words from . “What? I thought Tzu—“

“I was confused. When I met Tzuyu, I started believing we were fated together. I was so sure we we’re meant to be until I m