May 2, 2016

Dear Diary,

It’s been weeks and I still haven’t slept well. I could hear her voice wherever I go, and even when I try to sleep, I would hear her murmurs. Ever since I lost her, my life isn’t worth living anymore. I have nothing but regrets. I don’t want to live in a world wherein she doesn’t exist. That’s why I’m writing this as my final letter to myself. These will serve as my final words in this world: “Chaeyoung, forgive me, and I love you.”

I wrote those words unhesitant. I don’t even have second thoughts. I have made up my mind. I stared at the page for so long before I put the diary on my chest beneath my shirt. I have no tears left to spare and I don’t have the slightest regret of what I’m about to do right now.

I stood up from my desk and walked towards the door heading the rooftop. As I opened the door, I could feel the breeze that bounced on my cheek. I stared at the sky that seemed grey. It seemed like it’s mourning for me. I reached the edge of the rooftop. I looked down at the tiny cars and people that passed by. It seemed like an ordinary day for them. I wonder if there is someone like me among those people who already gave up.

“Tss. Why would I care? I’m going to die anyway.” I said to myself.

I stood straight and spread my arms. I felt the strong wind trying to push me away that seemed whispering at me saying: "Don't do it."

I shut my eyes.

I willingly lost my balance and slowly let myself fall. I let out a single teardrop as I was falling. Gravity was pulling me so hard.

Then everything went black.

I felt lost.

It's dark and cold.

"Where am I?"

Then slowly I could see the light approaching me.

I can feel the sunlight hitting my face.

“What is this?” I asked myself.

I slowly opened my eyes. I gazed at every corner of the room. The cabinet, the desk, the bed, the lampshade--- I’m in my room.

Was everything a dream? Everything seemed so real. I tried to get up slowly since I feel a little nauseous. I scratched my chest as it felt itchy. Then my eyes grew big as I felt my diary beneath my shirt. I immediately took it out and checked the last page.

“May 2, 2016

Dear Diary,

It’s been weeks and I still haven’t slept well. I could hear her voice wherever I go,