Endings and Beginnings

Of Gold and Obsidian
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“Sehun. We need to talk.”

 

Sehun’s face remained impassive as he stared straight ahead at the road. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying to pretend as if he had not heard Baekhyun. Baekhyun looked at him pleadingly with bloodshot eyes, a product of his intense bout of crying earlier on. It had taken a lot of coaxing and pacifying on Sehun’s end before Baekhyun’s tears would stop, and even then, Baekhyun still couldn’t stop sniffling here and there.

 

“Sehun,” Baekhyun tried again to elicit a response from Sehun.

 

Sehun let out a huge sigh, a torn look on his face. “Not now, Baekhyun. Not now.”

 

Baekhyun bit his lip nervously. “I’m sorry I lied. I went out to meet Chanyeol. I should have told you.”

 

“I should have stopped you,” Sehun said lowly, a hard edge in his voice. His voice was strained, and Baekhyun knew that Sehun was doing everything in his power to keep himself from exploding. “I ing knew that you were lying to my face, and I knew who exactly you were running off to, and yet I didn’t stop you. Look what happened. That bastard made you cry again. He does it again and again, and I don’t understand why you always go hurtling towards him like a moth to a flame!"

 

Baekhyun stared at his lap numbly, feeling a fresh wave of tears start to fall. Sehun took a glance at Baekhyun and his heart softened.

 

“I went to meet him because I wanted to end things between us properly.”

 

“Good. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? Now you are free from him,” Sehun commented, offering Baekhyun a piece of tissue to wipe his tears. “So why are you crying? Are you that reluctant to let him go? Don’t forget this, Byun Baekhyun, that guy made you go through hell. Have a little bit of self-respect and stop pining after him!” Sehun exploded finally, his expression contorted in a mixture of pain and anger.

 

At Sehun’s harsh words, Baekhyun sobbed harder. “I’m sorry, Sehun. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Why are you apologizing to me? Apologize to yourself for making you go through this self-induced hell!” Sehun gritted his teeth. “I just… I can’t understand you, Baekhyun. This toxic and sorry- relationship between you and Chanyeol has changed you. Have you ing thrown away all sense of rationality? Wake the hell up! Stop hurting yourself, I’m begging you,” his voice broke on the last syllable, and Sehun felt his own eyes moisten with tears as well.

 

“I don’t understand myself as well!” Baekhyun shouted back. “Just like you said, it is as if I have thrown away all sense of rationality. It has always, always been like that when it comes to Park Chanyeol. I told myself to stay away from him the first time we met. I knew he was bad news. But look what happened,” he chuckled darkly. “Don’t ing remind me of how stupid I am because I know. I know and yet I can’t seem to reconcile my conflicting feelings. This is what kills me inside. Every single day,” Baekhyun mumbled the last part, burying his face in his hands.

 

“I’m so tired, Sehun. I was holding on to something that brought me so much pain. Now that I have let go, it still hurts. Am I supposed to rip the heart out of my chest before I can stop hurting?” Baekhyun shook his head bitterly.

 

“Look, it’s like holding on to red-hot coal for months. The moment you let go, of course you will still continue to feel pain. It’s not like your hands are going to magically heal itself within seconds, just because you finally decided to let go. In fact, your wounds will certainly fester and worsen, but that is a necessary phase. Once you get past that stage, you will be okay again,” Sehun replied evenly. “This pain you feel right now? It’s transient. You will feel this all the way up till you begin to truly heal. Now that you have already dropped the coal, don’t go picking it up again. Allow yourself to grieve the loss. Give yourself time and space to work through your emotions. And never ever mistake this pain that you are feeling right now as love. You have decided to give up the feelings that you have for him, so don’t you dare disrespect yourself by even thinking of returning to his side.”

 

Baekhyun shut his eyes tightly. “I know, Sehun. I know,” he whispered. “And this is why I have decided. It isn’t fair for us to be together while I go through this phase of healing. I know this hurts you, Sehun, and I don’t want to make you go through this with me. Let’s break up, because I don’t deserve you at all.”

 

Break up.

 

These two words made Sehun feel like he had been punched in the guts. He pulled the car over to the side of the road abruptly, struggling to keep his breathing even.

 

“Don’t,” he whispered, sounding broken. “Just… let me stay by your side while you grieve and heal. I don’t mind that. I promised that I would always support you. I don’t want to break up,” he shook his head adamantly.

 

“You say that I am a fool, but aren’t you being a fool yourself?” Baekhyun chuckled bitterly. “I know how much this hurts you. This relationship between us is unhealthy for you. I don’t want to see you in pain. I don’t want you to be all noble and torture yourself just so you can make me happy. Perhaps it is also time for you to let go. Just like how I have decided to finally let go of Chanyeol.”

 

“I cannot accept that,” Sehun replied stubbornly. “I am never letting you go. I love you too ing much, Baekhyun. I have loved you for so many years! I made a promise to myself that I will be the one to make you happy. So can’t you try? Can’t you try to love me?” Sehun finally broke down, choking on his own heartbroken sobs. “You said that you have already let go of Chanyeol. This means that you will have room in your heart for me after you get over him, right? So why can’t you let me stay by your side? Please, Baekhyun,” Sehun begged, his voice sounding small and defeated.

 

Seeing Sehun so upset made Baekhyun feel awful. Everything was his fault. It was selfish of him from the very start, when he agreed to date Sehun. He entered into this relationship thoughtlessly, thinking that Sehun might help him get over Chanyeol. However, as time passed, he began to realize that their relationship was hurting Sehun on a subconscious level. It was unfair and unhealthy for Sehun.

 

Which was precisely why Baekhyun needed to end this. For Sehun’s sake.

 

“Let’s break up,” Baekhyun repeated, this time more confidently. “It’s the right thing to do.”

 

Sehun stared at Baekhyun with glassy eyes. “Please, Baekhyun. Let me remain by your side.”

 

“I promise you, Sehun, that when I finally and eventually find peace within myself, I will open my heart completely. You can court me after I have truly moved on from this entire fiasco. I promise to give you a chance. But right now, it isn’t fair for us to continue being in a relationship. You understand, don’t you?” Baekhyun said gently, wrapping Sehun in a tight hug.

 

It seemed like an eternity before Sehun responded, sniffling into Baekhyun’s shirt. “I will hold you to your promise. When you are done healing, I will put in a hundred percent to win your heart,” he said with conviction, wiping the tears off his face.

 

Baekhyun smiled, feeling a sense of renewed lightness take over his entire being. “Of course,” he said kindly. “But maybe by the time I’m done healing, you would have found someone else to love already,” he chuckled.

 

“Nonsense,” Sehun mumbled. “My heart will always remain with you,” he managed a small smile, pressing a tender kiss against Baekhyun’s cheek.

 

 

--

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sehun was right. The first three months after letting go was the most painful. It was the hardest and most arduous part of moving on, and Baekhyun struggled every day to make sense of the conflicting thoughts in his head. It would be a blatant lie to say that he didn’t think about Chanyeol at all, but at least he was too busy with work to really preoccupy himself with depressing thoughts. He had begun working at Byun Enterprises, and his father seemed to take a sadistic glee in piling him with tons of work.

 

“It’s for your own good. You need to learn the ropes quickly,” he had told Baekhyun.

 

And thus Baekhyun buried himself in piles of paperwork, meetings after meetings, and presentations after presentations. Every single day was so packed that time seemed to fly by at an amazing speed. His father would never admit it upfront, but that was his way of helping Baekhyun cope. If Baekhyun kept himself busy, he wouldn’t have time to dwell on unhappy memories.

 

And his strategy proved successful.

 

Nine months down the road, Byun Baekhyun declared himself a free man—a man free from the shadows that used to haunt him. It certainly took time, but he managed to transform that debilitating pain into an immense strength. Baekhyun had been changed irreversibly by the pain, but not necessarily in a bad way. He chose to perceive that dark period of his life as a positive catalyst—one that catapulted him into deeper self-growth and understanding. After all, Byun Baekhyun had always been an optimistic person who believed that everything in life happens for a reason, be it good or bad.

 

Sehun remained a devoted constant in Baekhyun’s life. However, he was cautious about pushing Baekhyun’s boundaries, especially in the period when Baekhyun went through his grieving and healing phases. Now that Baekhyun was finally liberated from his emotional shackles, Sehun was more than ready to put his A-game on.

 

“Flowers for the fairest and most beautiful person in the whole wide world,” he said, surprising Baekhyun at his office with a huge bouquet of red roses. “To start off my formal quest to win your heart,” he announced proudly with a wink.

 

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Sehun,” Baekhyun smiled, bringing the bouquet to his nose.

 

“But flowers will earn me brownie points with you,” Sehun retorted cheekily, knowing full well that Baekhyun was a er for botany and plants in general.

 

Sehun plopped himself down in the chair opposite Baekhyun and toyed with the decorative ornament on the desk. “How’s work?”

 

“Busy, as always,” Baekhyun sighed, loosening the tie around his neck.

 

“But you’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?” Sehun looked at him knowingly.

 

“Well, I guess? I do feel a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment when I complete my tasks,” Baekhyun mused. “Work really gives me a sense of direction in life,” he laughed.

 

“So you are all poised to take over the reins of Byun Enterprises together with Baekbeom, huh?”

 

Baekhyun blinked at Sehun, his expression thoughtful. “I don’t know about that… But we’ll see.”

 

Baekhyun enjoyed helping out at the company, but was he really ready to take on a responsibility as huge as running the company? Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel that he wanted to do something different with his life.

 

Once upon a time, that dream was to become a professional violinist, but it has now become a dream too far beyond his reach. Baekhyun glanced at his hand with a mournful look. After his injury, and after completing the entire course of his physiotherapy sessions, Baekhyun had tried to play the violin again, but it just wasn’t the same anymore. The violin was an instrument that required precision, dexterity and speed—something that his right hand was now unable to deliver.

 

He was bitterly reminded of Irene, who had swiftly escaped to the States after the party to hide from the shame and negative scrutiny being placed on her. The Bae family name was permanently marred, and the public saw them as sly and untrustworthy. As a result, their business took a terrible hit, and there were recent rumors that the Bae Group was preparing to file for bankruptcy. Of course, Baekhyun was sure that part of the reason for their business troubles were due to certain actions on Byun Enterprises’ end. Byun Jihoon had his connections, and he knew how to use them to get what he wanted. Baekhyun decided that he didn’t really want to know what his father did.

 

“You know that I’m going with you, right?” Sehun asked, breaking Baekhyun out of his reverie.

 

“Huh?” Baekhyun tilted his head to the side in confusion. “Going where?”

 

“You’re g

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fauxglitter
I can't believe this story got featured, thank you all so so so much! :)) It is an incredible feeling and I am still in disbelief :') To all my old and new readers alike, thank you from the bottom of my heart and I hope y'all will continue to enjoy the story! <3

Comments

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XiaoShixun #1
Chapter 26: Sehun and luhan
laurelynn98
#2
Chapter 16: you can just say han river lol

hangang isnt the name, it literally means "han river" in korean 한강

lmaoz that actually took me so long to figure out after i moved here too
laurelynn98
#3
Chapter 5: most places in korea have a door code, not keys

hence why the boy who always hangs around is always in my house too lmao
laurelynn98
#4
Chapter 5: NOT HONGDAE XXX
applesandcookies #5
Chapter 30: I think the reason Chanyeol gets so much flack by readers is because it’s hard to see him believe Irene so easily when the evidence to the contrary is right in front of him. Baekhyun played hardball for so long by ignoring his money and resisting his attempts to befriend him, would a gold digger do that? If someone hired people to stage a mugging, why was he injured so severely? Like Chanyeol saw how Baekhyun was suffering PTSD, physical pain, and psychological pain from being unable to play the violin. You can’t fake things like that. If Baekhyun wasn’t actually the secret son of a rich family, what would it have took for Chanyeol to believe him?
It’s just hard to see Chanyeol feeling like he’s the victim while Baekhyun literally can’t hold chopsticks right anymore… Though I did find that you did a good job of justifying Chanyeol’s reasons for having insecurities in his letter, and I like how he recognized his faults and apologized genuinely. But Baekhyun’s suffering was a little too severe for Chanyeol’s distrust to feel reasonable.

However, I do like how the characters in your story suffer REAL consequences. Like most authors wouldn’t have Baekhyun suffer a permanent injury and Chanyeol suffer a limp like that, but you make the characters deal with that, which makes the story more realistic. In life, not everything heals up perfectly, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find happiness in other ways.

Also, I like how it took some time before Chanbaek were able to rekindle. I thought for sure that they would make up right after Irene’s exposing, because most authors would do that. But I like how you let Chanbaek spend some time apart, calm down, and grow without each other. It really shows how they both matured.

I see a lot of the people in the comments feel sorry for Sehun… but I don’t. Sehun suffers from the same kind of possessive entitlement as Chanyeol in this story. At one point I thought it was best if Sebaek were together, especially in the mid story when Chanbaek were separated, but towards the end, it just shows that Sehun’s love is, as LuHan puts it,“selfish”. When Sehun told Chanyeol off after the carnival, that’s when I realized Sehun’s “protection” of Baekhyun crossed the line into possessive territory. Sehun purposefully manipulated Chanyeol into leaving by convincing him that Baekhyun didn’t want to see him, even though he didn’t know that. At this point, Sehun was selfishly projecting his desires and jealously into the situation. He deprived Baekhyun of his agency to decide what he wants. I can’t believe the story didn’t address how Sehun indirectly caused the accident? I really wanted Sehun to apologize and acknowledge that his love for Baekhyun also became toxic. I guess having to see Chanbaek get back together is also punishment for him though.

But don’t take this comment to mean i didn’t enjoy the story. I am leaving such a long comment because this story genuinely enthralled me and made me want to analyze a bit more. Overall, I am satisfied by this story and it really subverted a lot of expectations so thank you so much for sharing with us :)
eray612 #6
Chapter 30: Why this story is stuck in my library? And today i just read it within 18 hours non stop and my expression be like 😊🥰🤨😡🤬🥺😢🤯😭😭😭😭😭😌🥰🥰
Vampirella77 #7
Chapter 30: I'm reading this story for the third time. I love it so so much.
cycynyny #8
I keep coming back to this Masterpiece.
MyLipsOnEXOs
#9
Chapter 29: The letter never fails to make me cry
kworld320 #10
Chapter 30: Amazing, amazing, amazing.
The story is so interesting and well written!!!
Great job here dear writer!!!