Wonwoo's POV

I want to clarify some things before starting this story:

First of all, I did not know I was gay when I became a trainee. I probably wouldn't have auditioned if I'd known this before because frankly, it's hell to be in a boy group when in fact you're into boys.

Second, I'm not in any way socially disabled or overly shy or whatever you might call it. You could say I'm introverted and don't like talking that much, but it's not to the point of me fearing to be around other people. So don't go assuming I have a mental problem because I don't.

Third, I'm not emo. Whoever started this rumor should go to hell for thinking I am because I'm not. Just because I like wearing black, don't show many emotions (which actually is the opposite of being an emo, so get a grip guys) and am not as cheerful and excited as other member doesn't mean I sit in our dorm and cry my eyes out every night. Just because I'm not as outgoing as other members it doesn't mean I'm some kind of deep and dark person. That's simply my character and if you knew me enough you'd realize that in fact I can be happy and cheery too, just like the other members.

Lastly, I'm not writing this story because I want anyone's simpathy or because I feel like clarifying what's been going on in my life. I simply do because I've actually always liked reading and writing and since my life has been pretty interesting these last few years I guess I felt like sharing it with all of you.

So enjoy this overly subjective story of how I, Jeon Wonwoo, managed to stay in the boy group Seventeen after realizing that I was quite into the tall, handsome and let's not forget straight, Kim Mingyu.

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A/N: I'll keep the Foreword simple because I just want it to be a quick introduction, nothing more. Wonwoo's character is kind of extra so I felt like making sure you guys don't misinterpret him later on, if you get what I mean. As you've probably realized by now, this story is completely in Wonwoo's POV and kind of written as if he's writing a book himself. Just so you know, Mingyu's POV won't appear here.

And I have one important topic to talk about!! This story is probably going to be nerve-wrecking and heartbreaking. I don't plan on making the usual "Mingyu secretly likes Wonwoo too" thing happen because it's way too unrealistic and it annoys me so much. So yeah, if you're searching for that kind of fluffy and uncomplicated fanfic then this is nothing for you. I'm going to create lots of drama, I'll make Wonwoo cry tears of blood and yes, Mingyu will be a total at some point of this story.

Warning: Since this story contains emotional abuse, depression and suicidal thoughts, I decided to put it into the M rated section. If you don't think you can handle any of the named issues, I'd like it if you don't read this story. 

Also, thanks to Neverland Republic and LILBXTCH for the amazing poster!