Taemin often walked by foot.

The statement would have been correct several years back when he was still running around campus with a pile of books at his chest and a goofy grin on his face whenever he’d shout ‘hi’ to a colleague. He penned his first novel a year after finishing college and while he hadn’t known better then and accepted the first publishing house that came to him with a contract, he had, fortunately, made the right choice. They were, to this day, the ones in charge of Taemin’s work. Since then, his editor would drive him around whenever there was some sort of event or meeting, partly because Taemin insisted he’d take part in everything too. Sort of like his partner in crime, even though his editor had several writers under his care. Taemin could bet he was his favorite though and he was sure that every time he’d ask him to be his personal driver, he cursed him. However, he never refused, which puzzled Taemin.

Because of that, he rarely went anywhere without a car. While Taemin’s body was still in shape on the outside, his insides had been spewing lava and ash for an hour. He almost choked from lack of air and the fire coming from his feet all the way to his ears was driving him mad. He barely breathed a greeting in the door attendant’s direction and forced out a thank you when he gave him a package.

With the box in hand, he hurried to the elevator, pressed his floor and boringly gazed at his reflection in the mirror adjacent to the control panel. There was less strength in his legs, so he almost lost balance when the elevator sped up to the last floor. Slightly dizzy, he dashed to the door all the way at the end of the hallway in a zigzag pattern and hoped no one would confuse him with a drunk. They might not be far from the truth, as he most certainly smelled awful from all the wine he had and he could very well blame alcohol for the way he reacted, too. Once inside, light flooded the entire apartment as he dropped the box, put his coat away, put his shoes away and slouched to the living room.

Then, a miracle happened.

He unhooked the belt to his jeans and tossed it away. Taemin shook his fist several times in victory. As if there was a combustion engine instead of his heart, a wave of energy pumped through him in an instant.

“I got a date,” he whispered at first, afraid someone might hear him. With no one living next door, Taemin’s voice became louder as he was frantically waving his hands. “I got a date!” He pointed at the sofa and winked. “That’s right, sir! I got a date!”

Next, he rocked his hips and stepped forward with his legs spread, still waving.

“I. Got. A. Date.” He yelled once out of the living room and into the narrow corridor leading to the bathroom. He ed his jeans and took a right into the bedroom. “Lee. ing. Taemin. Got. A. Date!” He shouted at the ceiling. Taemin sprang on the bed and did a small dance routine consisting of a couple of wobbly pirouettes. He hummed a random song and shook his shoulders to the beat in his head. “Boom baby! Who’s the best?” He pointed at the wardrobe and winked. “That’s right! I am! I got a date!”

Taemin lay down and stretched. He kicked the blanket, rolled from side to side and giggled. By the time the excitement toned down, he was a mess of pants and smiles. Thoughts raced through his head. An electrical current passed from his eyelids to his muscles. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach. He inhaled deeply and felt them flying up to his dry throat.

He still couldn’t believe how well the date went and, while he wasn’t sure he’d actually get that second call, he was happy to have lived in that moment more than he had since college. Also, at the end of the day, the guy was cute. He regretted not inviting him over, but he knew it was for the best. If he had wanted a fling, something periodical to dive in, he would have made his intentions clear.

Taemin the side. Chuckles slipped between his lips.

No, he wouldn’t have. He wasn’t the type. He took on the persona the play required, but he could never carry the role until the end. Maybe because Jongin was the kind of guy he’d fall for easily – tall, handsome, dark – that he’d suddenly been acting weird, not because he had some secret plan of ruining the night with his antics or because he was testing the other, to see if he had what it took to be his new lover.

Or something. Taemin was never sure what he wanted. He changed his mind more often than people changed their underwear, so, that night too, he wasn’t sure anymore why he hadn’t acted within the boundaries of normality. The more he meditated on the subject, the more he sank into the dark world he etched on the back of his mind.

Taemin got up and returned to his coat. He searched the pockets for his phone and returned to bed while looking a name up. Lying on his back again, he watched the ceiling and waited for the other to pick up.

“Yo,” a smooth voice replaced the ringing and it immediately improved Taemin’s mood. “Why so late?”

“I went out.”

“No way,” Taemin envisioned him. Tall, nicely built, always dressed formally during the day and with only a pair of sweats and a grey T-shirt in the evening. Black hair and deep eyes that often judged him appeared on the canvas in front of him. “Were you stalking people for your new ?”

“No, I got a date.” He instinctively lifted his hips and tugged at his jeans until they fell to his knees. Taemin placed the phone between his ear and shoulder. He struggled to pull them off his legs. The part around his ankles was too tight, so it took a couple of tries before it finally gave up on one side.

“Ramen guy?”

“No.” Taemin groaned, battling with the other half. He let out an exasperated sigh when he finally freed his leg. A pause stretched between him and the speaker. Taemin grunted as he threw the jeans on the floor and moved the phone to the other ear. “Are you still there?”

“Are you guys ing?”

“No!”

“Sorry dude. The sounds you’re making are kind of .”

“Go Taekwoon, you ert.”

“Can’t.”

“Seriously? You still didn’t get laid?”

“No. I’m not pushing him either.”

“Wow, playboy got a heart.” Taemin grabbed his pillow and placed it on the headboard.

“Says the .” As Taemin leaned back, he heard his friend laugh and it made him laugh too. “Now that we have settled my boring life, tell me more about your imaginary date.”

“First, it’s not imaginary. Second, why are we friends again?” He sweated too much. Taemin knew for sure as he felt the air in the room drop several degrees over the bare area of his body. It comforted him, somehow, his toes creating a canyon in the sheets as he pulled his knees against his chest. He was home and nothing else mattered. Well, nothing else and the sheer will to share with someone the adventure he had partaken in because of curiosity.

“Because you love me and my stupid jokes.”

“Right.” Taemin thought of how to begin. Should he mention Chanyeol and the entire debacle with his brother? They hadn’t spoken in a long while, maybe it was a good idea to put him up to date. Or should he keep the essentials? He knew his friend wasn’t the type to concentrate on the background details and jumped straight into action whenever they exchanged happenings.

“You sure you weren’t ing?”

“Dude, I was pulling off my pants, not pulling out my .”

“Oh, snap! The thighs are out!”

Taemin pulled the phone from his ear and gave the screen an incredulous look. Back at him stared a human’s blue shape with an unnatural expression and smile that shouted ‘please go away’ or ‘I will murder you’. Above, his friend’s name: Wonshik.  He scoffed and aggressively bit on his words. “And I’ll strangle you with them if you don’t let me talk.”

“Sorry, bud. You’re teasing material.”

“Go tease your .”

“I’d rather have your thighs. Perfect way to leave the world.”

“Okay. I’m hanging up.”

“No!” Wonshik wailed. “I’m so bored, please, tell me everything.”

“Go sleep then.”

“I’m not sleepy.”

“How about you come over, drink some beer and watch Zootopia with me? I can give you a BJ after and we can throw up all over the house.”

“Haven’t we already done that?”

“Yeah.” Taemin chuckled. “We had.” Another pause followed. Taemin listened to Wonshik’s audible breath. The other had lied. He was as tired as Taemin. He tilted to the left, all curled up, and closed his eyes. “I can’t sleep either.”

They met in University. Different majors, different cliques, different status among teachers and peers, yet, connected quickly. He forgot exactly how and when. Most of that period was a blur and the pieces he gathered afterwards were the ones he had been trying to erase or idle scenes that held no value whatsoever. That night, too, he felt them creep into his consciousness and he knew he’d have a nightmare if he had gone to sleep right away. He wished Wonshik would keep him longer on the phone. At the same time, he wished he wouldn’t.

He was contradicting himself again.

“Should we try together then?” Wonshik’s voice brought him back to the present. He smiled.

“Yeah.”

“You still owe me a story. Want to meet tomorrow for lunch at our sandwich place?”

The room was too empty, too cold. The only source of heat was coming from the phone warming up in his palm. He grabbed the blanket and slowly covered his body. It wrapped from the top of his head, down the line of his neck, the arch of his back and across his still bent legs in a colorful cocoon.

“Yeah.”

“Taemin.”

“Hmm?”

“Good night.”

Taemin murmured his goodbye.

He really couldn’t sleep, not yet. Like a child afraid of the monster hiding under the bed, Taemin wasn’t ready to drift away. He opened his eyes and glanced at the phone. He placed it with the screen down and focused next on the windows. Brown curtains blocked any scenery. He saw nothing else unless he’d make an effort and change his position for a better view. But, just like that child, he didn’t want to upset the shadows.

Instead, he lifted the phone again and checked for any new messages. Surely, he made a nice impression. Or, maybe, he wasn’t Jongin’s type. He was ready to move on and go over some of the things that cuffed him in place if Jongin offered him the chance. Taemin put the phone down.

He checked again later. And again. He repeated the sequence with almost clockwork precision, exactly every five minutes. As his wrist weakened, five turned into ten, ten into twenty, until his eyelids too gave signs of fatigue. With the last of his strength, Taemin rolled on the other side, took the headphones from the nightstand, connected them to the phone and let music flood his worries away.

All my dreaming torn in pieces

Taemin struggled to keep awake. He reached a point where all he could see was a sliver of light. The music was soothing enough to succumb into serenity.

All the while, Jongin had been doing the same.

He unlocked his phone and stared at the screen. He locked it back and stared at darkness. Both pups were next to him, fast asleep. He wondered whether he’d seem too desperate if he had sent Taemin a message. He yearned to meet him again. He didn’t know why. He typed a cheesy text, deleted it. He tried something more serious. He deleted that too. He added emoticons next and made another tasteless joke, only to completely exit the messaging application and abandon the phone on its usual spot.

Jongin didn’t want to rush things, but he was also afraid of losing the opportunity the universe gave him.

Finally, duty weighted heavier on his mind. He had to wake up early. They had a meeting in the afternoon and he had no plans of cosplaying a zombie in a suits-only party. Chanyeol would bombard him with questions anyway. He planned to pay the bookstore a visit too and pick up the title Taemin had suggested. He wrote it down not long before getting home, just in case he’d forget (he doubted it). He should also buy dog food, maybe some groceries, cook something nice for the heck of it. Or check out that new café two blocks away from his workplace.

Maybe he should bring Taemin there.

A/N

The “Dude, I was pulling off my pants, not pulling out my .” line goes to my friend Cat because that was her first reaction after reading the scene LOL also, Koemi is out digging victims. Excuse the lame, there's no one else to look over the entire chapter until she returns u_u /bye.