How long was it since the last time I had a crush? Was it during highschool? I don't think so. Was it during middle school? I don't know. What I know for sure is, it's a long time ago. This time, I have to mark on my calendar the day I finally have a crush on someone since like forever so that when I get old, I won't forget this day and tell to my kids that I once had this ridiculous feeling towards someone that I didn't have a chance with. Sounds sad and pathetic but whatever.

However, I never expected the guy to be Oh Sehun. Yes, you heard me right. I have a crush on Oh Sehun.

He's that one guy who was so awkward back then in high school (that's right, I was his sunbae). He was barely noticed due to his failed social skill. I, myself, didn't even know his name until it was my graduation day where Sehun was one of the committee who arranged that graduation event.

No one would expect that awkward guy from school could become a hot gorgeous boy when two years later he enrolled to the university I go to as a freshman. So that's not my entire fault, okay? Who wouldn't fall for that kind of guy? On his first day of college, girls already stared at him as if seeing an angel with, eyes practically gawking at him as he walked to his respective class. But he's still the same awkward Oh Sehun I knew-this time a hotter version-that could be seen on his uncomfortable face as he walked through the corridor.

Oh boy, so how many percent is the possibility for him to like me? I'm sure it's anywhere near zero. Though, after what seems like one year, I still can't get rid of this ridiculous feeling.

Having a crush on Oh Sehun means one thing; trouble. As cliche as it sounds, Sehun has his own, I repeat, his OWN fangirls. It is them who call themselves fangirls. I'm sure they have a secret fanclub where they talk anything about him.

That's crazy. I mean, yeah it's normal to have a crush on Sehun because he's hot as hell but despite having a crush on him too, I refuse to push myself to him like some girls. That's just not my style. Is it that hard to just keep calm about it instead of pushing themselves towards him so shamelessly like what those girls are doing right now?

I walk past him who's obviously having a hard time to stand those looks and winks thrown at him when he suddenly calls me by my name. I repeat, my name. Oh boy, he does know my name.

"S-sooyoung sunbae!" He cries. I stop on my way and arch an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"I know you! You were my senior in high school. Uhh... so, we go to the same university!" He flashes me an awkward-but still handsome-smile. Now I can feel pairs of eyes staring at me like I am a murderer caught by cops.

"You're Oh Sehun, right?" He nods at me and while all of their attentions are thrown at me, Sehun rans away with a ridiculous speed.

Sheesh what's his problem? I looked at those girls who's eyes still on the vanishing Sehun. Right. Those girls are the problem. I quickly walk away as I know that standing there with thirsty girls won't do me any good. Though, their eyes are like peeling my skin off, I know it that they won't dare to do anything bad to me. That's right, I am their senior. That's right, be afraid of me. Now should I flip my hair while I walk?

***

Today is another day when Sehun walks to his next class that morning with his buddy, Jongin when girls obviously staring at them. Whispers like "Look look. He's so hot." "That hoodie looks good on him!" "He's even getting hotter day by day" "Ey, Jongin's so handsome too! How could I just notice that?!" can be heard too clearly to be even considered as whispers. Sheesh these little rascals.

Poor boy, he can't even have a normal day when he can go anywhere without people looking at him. It's ironic how people barely noticed his exsistence two years ago. Anyway, I'm lucky enough that we go to the same classes sometimes. That way, I can steal glances at him once in a while during lecture.

I walk beside my little cutie Taeyeon to my next respective class which is the same way as Sehun's. That explains why I can observe people silently.

As soon as my class has ended, I step out of the class and hurriedly go to the library. I go to library everyday. It's my habit since high school. I decide I'll just get my second lunch later with Taeyeon.

I open the door and go to the shelves and pick one book. As cliche as it sounds, I go to the desk in the corner of the room, that's like my favorite spot. No one sits here other than me, because it's too far from the door but I can always observe people from here when I get bored with the book. Like this time.

I throw a look through the whole room and see my crush looking for books in one of the shelf. See? That's why I love to sit here and love library too much. Once he's done, he returns. And out of all the desks and chairs in this big room, he chooses the desk in front of mine which is the closest to me. Oh, thanks God. Instead of his back facing me, it's his face that faces me. Oh God why? Now I'm so done with my book.

Despite being done with it, I open my book anyway and pretend to read while once in a while, I steal glances him. I'm a pro at this because I've been doing this one year, kay? As much as I want it I can't just stare at him the whole time, right? That will surely freak him out and he's probably gonna think I'm a creep. No freaking way. I wonder what he's reading, though. Do we have the same taste for books? Or rather, do we have at least one thing in common?

He looks so immersed with the book he's reading. Ah, this place is the only place when he can have some peace because no one knows that Sehun loves reading book, even his so-called fangirls. It's only me who knows. Of course I know it. Who else comes to library everyday other than me? None. I'm not a stalker or anything. One year is enough for me to know his schedule of visiting library. He comes only in Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Sometimes he reads, sometimes he sleeps. My favorite one is when he's sleeping because yeah I can stare at him for God-knows how long. Sheesh I sound like a teenager but whatever, your opinion is invalid to me.

Feeling hungry, I pick out two sandwiches from my lunch box in my bag. What I love most about this library is that we're allowed to eat inside. Gosh, whoever invented that rule, I love you so much! I continue to read my book while eating my sandwiches. I decide to check on Sehun this time so I look up only to earn shock from what I'm currently witnessing right now just before my eyes. It's freaking him sitting in front of me just across the table.

Am I seeing things? Gosh, do I need to make my schedule to a psychologist?

I gasp and quickly realize that it's so uncool so I pretend to be shocked by his sudden appearance, okay that's truth, I'm pretty shocked to see him this up close to be very honest.

"Uh, hi?" I squeak, afraid to be scolded by the librarian. Okay this is the second time Sehun and I encountered. Gosh, is this the beginning of everything when I and Sehun will live happily ever after like those on novels? Guess I should really stop reading, nope scratch that, believing what novels tell me.

"Sooyoung-sunbae," Sehun says, "I've noticed that everyday you're here, you always have your lunch." My eyebrow arches as I look at him, trying to guess what's his point. "Ye