Woohyun floated to Yoomi's room again. Now not as a conscience, but as a ghost. He smiled softly as he watched her sleep soundly, her chest heaving up and down in gentle waves.
"Yoomi... Yoomi... Yoomi..." he kept repeating while watching her. Tears trickled down his cheek and he didn't care. He was the one who caused her this misery, he was the one who brought her nothing but more tears.
"I'm sorry Yoomi." Woohyun whispered as he caressed her hair. "I have to leave first. But it's for the better. After all I did to you, I want to make it up to you. I want you to smile, Yoomi."
He kissed her forehead one last time. "I love you." he managed to whisper, before his ghost form disappeared from the surface of the Earth.
Yoomi stirred, opening her eyes and squinting. She felt warm breath on her face, and a gentle warm kiss.
Just at that moment, Onew came into the room. He smiled at her hesitantly, even thought she couldn't see. "Jinki Oppa? Did you kiss me while I was asleep?" Yoomi asked.
Onew blinked. "Eh? I didn't."
Yoomi pouted. "I must have been dreaming then." she shrugged. She felt Onew come to her side and hold her hands tightly. "Yoomi I have news for you.." he said slowly. "The doctor found suitable corneas for your eyes."
"Jinki Oppa..." Yoomi's hands searched around her as her bed was being pushed into the surgery room.
Onew rushed to her side and held her hands firmly. "Yes?" he asked, caressing her cheek.
"Jinki Oppa, promise me you'll be the first one I see if my eyes get healed." Yoomi whispered. "Please?"
Onew chuckled and kissed her hair. "No problem. I'll be the first one you see okay? Now be brave. All of us will be waiting here."
Yoomi nodded and she was pushed into the surgery room. SHINee members, and Mrs shin were waiting nervously outside for the news.
After a grueling three hour operation, Yoomi was finally pushed out of the surgery room. She was still unconscious, but the doctor said that the surgery was a success. Whether she was able to see or not would depend on whether the corneas would adapt to her body.
But that was still unknown. Two weeks later when the bandages were to be removed, it would totally depend if the first thing Yoomi saw was Onew... Or total darkness.
Onew sat beside Yoomi's bed, caressing her cheek softly as he kissed her fingers one by one. "You were brave Yoomi. So brave." he whispered.
A tear trickled down his cheek. "But how am I going to tell you who the corneas came from?" he choked. "How am I going to you that your favorite Oppa.." he faltered.
A hand patted his shoulder in an assuring manner. Onew looked up and saw Hoya looking down with his red swollen eyes. They were all wearing black for mourning. "Take it easy Onew. If you put too much stress on yourself, you're going to collapse. For Yoomi, you must stay strong."
Onew nodded. He looked back his sleeping beauty and smiled. "For Yoomi."
Yoomi licked her lips nervously as the doctor began unravelling her bandage. When the whole thing was off, she didn't dare open her eyes. "Jinki Oppa?" she felt around. "Jinki Oppa are you here?"
Onew rushed to her side and held her hands. "I'm here. I'm here right in front of you." he whispered. "Open your eyes and look at me." he pleaded softly.
The Infinite, SHINee members and the parents took a sharp intake of breath, sucking the room off all oxygen, when Yoomi slowly opened her eyes. Her large round orbs blinked several times as they stared at Onew.
Onew gulped and watched her reaction. "Yoomi?" he looked at her with searching eyes. "Yoomi can you see m-"
Yoomi broke into a yell of happiness and pounced on him. "I CAN SEE YOU JINKI OPPA!! I CAN SEE ALL OF YOU!" she squealed, hugging him tight.
The whole gang cheered. They took turns hugging her, crying tears of happiness which Yoomi would wipe away.
All of a sudden, their moods changed when Yoomi spoke. "Mr and Mrs Nam, why do you two look so sad?" she asked. "And can I know who's the donor of the corneas? I want thank that person's family personally."
An awkward silence erupted. Yoomi frowned questioningly at them. "Is something wrong?"
Mrs Nam broke into a sob. Mrs Shin softened and patted her daughter. "Yoomi, we've got to tell you something."
3 YEARS LATER
Twenty three year old Yoomi stood in front of the mirror, patting her hair in place. She glanced at the clock, it was still early.
Her fiancé, Onew, was coming to fetch her in no time. She had a hard time recovering when she learnt of Woohyun's death. She couldn't believe a person that was well and alive one minute, was gone the next.
She remembered when they broke the news to her. It was horrendous.
"First of all, we have to tell you a bad news, Yoomi. We had no idea why as well, the doctors were puzzled, he was doing so well and he would wake up from his coma in no time. But Woohyun....he suddenly stopped breathing. It was like he gave up living all together. And with his parent's approval... his corneas were given to you. Yoomi, you're now looking at the world with Woohyun's eyes."
Yoomi sighed softly. She had to admit, Woohyun still bore a special place in her heart. Till now, it was still that: a little less than love, but much more than friends.
She missed him dearly, even though he hadn't been exactly good to her. But how can one forget their best friend and first love so easily? Yoomi thought of Woohyun everyday, even though he wasn't around anymore, he was living in her heart.
Yoomi glanced at the clock again. Two minutes till Onew would arrive. They were going to get married in a month, and now, they were going to Music Bank to watch Infinite's comeback. They were really successful, even though they were six instead of seven.
Sometimes, the empty feeling showed a lot and all of them would get into this quiet emotional stage where they wouldn't talk. But they strove even harder after they were missing their lead singer. Because they wanted to make Woohyun proud.
They won numerous awards over the years, and every single time, Sunggyu would make it a point to dedicate the award to Woohyun. You see, even though he was gone, he was still very much living in their hearts.
Yoomi was prepared to go down to meet Onew, when a tattered pink book at the corner of the room below the dressing table caught her eye. She wouldn't have seen it usually, but she didn't know why her eyes were especially sharp today.
She plucked it from it's dusty spot and recognized it as her diary. Memories of her past flooded her mind and she flipped through her entries, reminiscing her past.
She smiled a little when she recalled the young Woohyun and how sweet he was to her. Those were the happiest days of her life. Besides now.
She was prepared to close the book when something made her flip the book to it's last page. It was weird, she just had this urge. She just knew, there was something written there.
And there was.
Yoomi's eyes widened as she read, and soon tears were blurring her eyes so much that she couldn't see clearly. There came a knock on the door, signaling her fiancé Onew had arrived.
He came into her room, only to see the love of his life crying her eyes out on the bed. He frowned and gathered her in his arms. "Yoomi?" he asked. "What's wrong?"
Yoomi shook her head and closed her diary. She took a deep breath and smiled at him. "Nothing. Just..." she searched his eyes. "I love you, Jinki Oppa. I really love you a lot."
Onew was surprised, but it was soon replaced with a tender smile. "I love you too." he softened and kissed her softly. Their lips met in blur of emotions, and lame as it was, fireworks were bursting everywhere.
They pulled away and he leant his forehead on hers. "I love you." he smiled. He pecked her lips once more and pulled her from the bed. "Come on, we'll be late for the Infinite comeback. I think Hoya will kill me if I don't bring you there on time."
"And you're scared?" Yoomi teased as she followed behind Onew.
Onew made a horrified expression. "Of course not!!!" he fibbed. Yoomi gave him a look.
"Well okay maybe a little." he confessed.
They laughed and made their way out, and Onew didn't notice Yoomi look back at her diary once more before leaving.
*I'll be happy Woohyun Oppa. I promise.*
Dear Yoomi's Diary,
This is the first time I've written a diary entry in my entire life and I haven't even kept a diary myself before. This will be my first entry, and the last.
I always wondered what the hell Yoomi was writing in that pink book of hers. What silly Girly thoughts were being bombarded on the innocent pages.
I was wrong.
If I didn't read you, Yoomi's Diary, I wouldn't have known what suffering I put her through all these years. How ignorant was I, and I even thought I was such a great person.
Fame and popularity clouded my eyes, I couldn't see our friendship past her nerdy appearance. I forgot about her innocent nature I loved, and her laugh that could make me forget all my troubles.
And the worst of all, I couldn't see her love for me.
I threw her aside, I broke her heart countless times. I insulted her, I made her cry. But through all these times, she respected my decision, and stayed by me, supporting me.
I was such a fool, to not have known what I was feeling as well. No wonder I hated that fool Onew so much from the beginning. They just clicked from the beginning, Yoomi and him, and I admit, I was jealous. I wasn't that jealous of Hoya because the relationship was strictly platonic. But for Onew, I could always see the love radiating from him. I'm not kidding, RADIATING.
At a certain point in my life, I suddenly realized how empty my life was without Yoomi. I tried to get her back, and she willingly came back to me. But I was still foolish, and I sent her away again, not knowing what was good for me.
It wasn't until too late that I realized...I love her too. I love her more than life itself, and I will do anything to make her happy.
It must startle you, Yoomi's Diary, for all the incidents recorded in here showed how I was a jerk to her. I have no idea when I started, but someday, it was just there. The love that continued growing and I couldn't get rid of it. The guilt that followed didn't help much, and I was desperate to make her happier.
So I'm giving her colours in her life.
Everything is worth it, because her smile is more precious than any treasure. I'll do anything to keep it there.
Do you remember the lyrics from our song, Paradise?
A place without you isn't Paradise.
It isn't exactly true for me. To me, it should be:
A place where you're not happy isn't paradise.
I'm not going to continue living knowing however optimistic Yoomi might be, she still might get hurt because of her disability. I want her to smile when she sees the rainbows. I want her to frown when the thunder clouds over take the sun.
I want her to be happy. I would have given anything to be the one by her side right now. But I can't. The person that will make her smile now is someone else.
I want her to take my eyes, and create my paradise where she's happy.
If I have a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn't be greedy to want her heart anymore. She has suffered enough from loving me. But I would tell her I love her. Every single day.
That is my biggest regret. And I hope she'll not make the same mistake, and will tell the one she loves that three special words everyday.
This entry is long, and I should end it here.
Live happily Yoomi, my love,
The end! I struggled a lot through this fic when I read your comments. So many of you thought that she was going to end up with Woohyun in the end and I wondered if this ending was appropriate.
I know Woohyun's the main character, but that doesn't mean he gets to have the girl. This story isn't about how he defeated Onew in the end. This story is about how he learned from his mistakes. This story is about regret. Because reality is harsh and sometimes once you've missed the chance for things, they go away forever. .
I'm sorry if you supported the Woohyun pairing, whether it's because of the plot, the pity you feel for his character, or just plainly because he's your bias, I do not know. But I wanted to try something different in this fic instead of the playboy always gettig the girl and the faithful bystander getting his heart broken: a cliche storyline I'm sure I'm still using. Even if it's for a single fic, I want to break out of it.
This A/N is long, but I just want to justify my choice in the ending. The moment I wrote the foreword, I knew what I was expecting. I hope you guys understand. On the other hand, thank you for supporting this fic and letting it get featured. I can never ask for better readers. Thank you! (:
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