Have you ever seen something for the first time again? Like your old lunch box when you were in Pre-K and remembered that your mom personally picked it out for you even though you never liked its design, it became to your liking since your mother loves it so much. Or maybe you saw a letter from your childhood sweetheart and how you'd laugh it off because you just saw one another last week in a coffee shop. She still wears the promise bracelet you made for her when you guys promised that you're gonna get married to one another but then you'll know she has a great life along with 4 kids. Or maybe you're experiencing something like me... Like seeing your first love for the very first time in a very long time and how you thought that she was the one you'd be off with for the rest of your life- but now you're just like me, thinking what the hell happened to all of that.Seeing her again- made me remember the very first time we met...

"Hello, my name is Kwon Yuri nice to meet you all."

"Yah, don't enter with your shoes on."

"Oh, I'm so sorry I really am! I just thought that-"

"Yah, junior where are your shoes?"

"Oh I thought-"

"Hahahahahahaha."

"Kim Hyoyeon, Choi Sooyoung and Jessica Jung. Stop messing with the junior!"

"Dae..."

"Hey wassup, I'm Hyoyeon."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Choi Sooyoung."

"I'm Jessica. Welcome to practice."

I remember all the things about her that day. Her thin brown hair with curls in the middle down to the tips of her hair. How she was bare face that day, her baggy pants, tank tops and Adidas superstar footwear and with all the bandage on her hands. She was extremely thin back then. I also remembered her facial expression when the staff announced that she and I were going to debut along with other 7 girls.

"Are you girls ready? This is your first debut stage. Good luck to you guys."

"Okay girls huddle around. Let's make this memorable okay? Shake all the nervousness away I know we can all do it. Alright hands in! Jigumeun-"

"So Nyuh Shi Dae!"

Together as 9 we became one as we travelled a new path for all o0f us. As we reached for the stars we also gain frienships and more bonding moments that made us all so close with one another. We even told one another that we're not just a girl group. We're a family already... We are unbiological sisters. But out of all my 8 sisters, one of them became more than that... Just remembering the time when we confessed to one another would put a smile on my face. Who would ever thought we'd be together all because of a fight?

"Seriously?! This late at night and you're with Taecyeon?! Again!?"

"So? What is it to you anyway?"

"What is it to me? Sica you're my best friend! And hanging out with a guy all alone arriving 2 in the morning would really make me worry about you! I thought you were already over him but then here you are again! If I didn't waited for you to come home, I wouldn't even figured it out that it's him you're seeing because you never tell me a thing!"

"Why? Just because we used to date doesn't mean I'm not allowed to see him right? And don't get me started with all the 'secrets' thing Kwon Yuri. What about this secret crush you've been telling everybody huh? You tell Yoona, you tell Hyoyeon or Sooyoung but never to me! You just said it so yourself- I am your best friend! And not telling me something I deserve to know is completely rubbish!"

"Has it ever occured to you that maybe I didn't tell you because I can't? I can't tell you because you might think I'm weird!"

"Weird? You're always weird! Which is why you're more comfortable to be with now just tell me whoever this person may be and-"

"It's you okay?! It's you I've been telling them about. Hell, I don't even think it's just a crush or a phase. It's been more than a year and yet here I am still feeling the same towards you. I am in love with you... Now tell me that it's not weird to hear those words from your best friend- who's secretly hoping that you'd see me in the same way I see you."

"Well a little heads up Kwon Yuri! I was only hanging out with him because I want to make you jealous! I broke up with him because I realized that you're the one I love!"

Ever since then we were never the same. We became better because finally we don't have anything to hide to one another. We were always doing things together, having dates together, we were inseparable because she would always support me in my solo activities as well as I with hers. We've watched each other grow and every morning I would see her face and I'd say to myself that this face is the one I wanna wake up with every morning for the rest of my life. That there are no other better mornings than waking up by her side. We were strong and that's what I've always believed in. Even when huge trials are coming right at us.

"They- they kicked me out. I don't know why but they removed me. I practically gave up my youth to this company and to this group but they still decided to remove me. All those 14 years... Gone... Like me."

"Baby listen to me. It's not gone. This was the result of your 14 years. Us, do you remember? And it was just not us that you gained throughout those 14 years. But you also gained 7 unbiological sisters who are also hurt right now. Believe me they are. They are as shock as me, and angered that even though we've received such a sad news, they still want to push through this event. Trust me, you've gained so much more than you can imagine... So it's not gone believe me."

"But we can't be beside each other anymore... All those plans we made to do in China..."

"It's alright, China will still be there. You don't have to worry. We can do those some other time. And yes, to answer your question. We can't be beside each other. But you will always be with me, in my heart don't worry. You will always be with me."

"But I'll miss you, I don't think I could handle a day without you beside me. I need your warmth."

"It's just a little bump in our way princess."

"More like a huge rock." 

"3 years." 

"3 years."

But just like what other say, there are some people that you're better without. I guess I just didn't see that she was better off without me. Because I was never better off without her. She was practically my everything but I didn't wanna drag her down. She needs to grow even if means letting her go.

"There's a difference between somebody who wants you, and somebody who would do anything to keep you. Remember that."

"But... But she promised me. She promised me she would wait for me... Hyo, we got everything all planned out. She said- she said we wou--"

"Everyone promises until they found someone better." 

"What am I going to do now Hyo? Is it really over? Where am I gonna go right now? I'd be so lost without her."

"You will not be lost. You're just in a road with no directions. But you'll find the place that you'll like, and you will stay there. You are not lost, you are on your 
way... It's over Yuri... You can't keep watering a dead flower."

"...."

"I know, it's sad for me too. When you try to pick up a conversation with someone you really want to strat a conversation with- but you notice they don't put efforts in the conversations, and you feel like they are pushing you away, to the point that you'd realize that things have changed and it'd be better if you let them go. You'll realize that people come and go, sadly, even the ones we thought we never lose."

"Will you let me go?"

"What?"

"Will you?"

"I don't get it."

"I can't do this anymore Sica. We need to stop this."

"Stop this? Stop what? This relationship?! NO!"

"Please..."

"But why?! Where did I go wrong?! Tell me!"
 

"We're just different people now. Too different to be still together."

"How are we different?!"

"It's because you changed!"

"I changed!? You changed! You were the one who didn't update me! If it wasn't for that reporter I met earlier- I never would've guess that you'd be here!"

"Me? It's me who changed? It's you! You said you were gonna be a phone call away or a text away. You said you will always be there with us as long as we leave a space for you. You said we will always be in your heart! But let me ask you! Are we still in your heart? AM I STILL IN YOUR HEART!?"

"Can't we stay together seobang? Give me another chance... I promise I won't mess up... Please?"

"I don't think so..."

I don't think so... Ever since that happened- I began to hate that statement.

"Y-yuri?"

"Jessica."

They say every person who comes in your life is not accidental. It was planned by God. And each person can only be either of the two in your life. They can be a blessing or a lesson. The first time I met her, I was definite that she was a blessing to me. 8 years later the tables turned and she became a lesson. But now, even after 5 years we've met again. Under the beautiful Autumn season- Jessica Jung came back to my life... But what is she to me now? Is she gonna be a blessing? Or a lesson?

"It's been so long."

"Yes, it has."

"It's been like what- 4- 7-"

"5 years."

"5 years? That long?"

"Yeah... That long."

She did nothing but nod to my statement. After that short talk she sips down her favorite cold drink that has been her fave ever since we've met. She tells me that it was the taste that she likes the most even when she was a kid so ever since then, I started buying that drink for her. I wanted to continue the conversation by saying I didn't notice that 5 years has passed because when I looked at her face, she's still the same. She still has the same set of eyebrows that always matches her brown eyes along with her brown hair with the curls from the middle down to the tips of her hair. She still has the same complexion of her skin, and she still puts the same lipstick shade that she found in New York when we were doing Factory Girl. There were a lot of things that remained the same on her, there were a lot of things that I wanted to say to her, a lot of things... But in the end I decided to keep it all inside and drink my own cup of drink.

"Mommy?" I turned my head to the small figure who had spaghetti sauce all over her face.

She blinked and turned to the precious one. "Yes princess?" Princess? That's what I used to call her too.

"Can I have ice cream?"

The latter showed a displeased expression on her face. "But you can't. You have a cold baby."

The little figure furrowed her eyebrows and had a sulking aura. "But mommy I'm okay. I ain't even sneezing anymore."

"But-"

All of a sudden the sulky aura was gona as she crossed her arms. "I am gonna have my ice cream today mommy." She glares. "Give me my ice cream."

The person right in front of me could do nothing but sigh. "Fine, but only a little." She says in a mother tone.

The kid cheered as she hops down the high chair, skipping her way to the ice cream bar. We both looked after her as the kid in a very chic dress and classy shoes tip-toed to see the different kind of flavors that she could eat. After a little while of choosing she smiles widely as she taps a lot of flavors. I suddenly hears a very loud sigh coming from my left ear and when I turned to that direction, she just shakes her head as I turn my attention back to her.

"I should've known." She says to herself.

"I guess you have a rebel." She looks at me and smiles.

"Yeah I guess." She takes a glance on her. "But she's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

You used to say that a lot to me too. "What about the husband? Isn't he suppose to be the best thing?" She was surprised. "So, who's the father?"

She looks at me with a very disturbed expression. She lowers her head and plays with her fingers, a habit I have come to know whenever she's nervous or she's uncomfortable with the situation. Why should she? She knows that I am gonna ask that question. After all, she deserves to marry. She deserves a man who sees every bit of perfection with just one look of her eyes. That type of guy.

"It's Tyler." She answers. "My business partner."

"Oh."

Why do I feel so surprised? I shouldn't be... I should've seen this one coming from the moment I broke off with her. How can she not fall for someone who's always with her 24/7? Someone she could related to, someone that can understand what kind of hardship she was going through. Someone that she could rely on, someone that can be her shoulder to cry on and take good care of her. I shouldn't be surprised. I shouldn't think of him that low. I shouldn't also doubt that he can't give her the happiness she wants in life because he did. He gave her a wonderful marriage life and a wonderful baby girl. What more could she ask for in life? She has the business, the daughter, the husband, the family, the riches, the support- everything about her life seems to be going so well now. I really don't have to worry about her anymore. She's in good hands now.

And I shouldn't be affected by this. Whatever happened between us, it happened a