Chapter 21. Jessica : A Nightmare Ends.

Why was it so hard to breath? Pounds of invisible weight pressing hard against my chest. My eyes felt like they were glued shut. I nearly gave up if wasn't for the sad crying of a baby coming from somewhere far.

I struggled to take a deep breath, forcing my eyelids open.

Then I saw him.

Yuri. My Yuri.

Despite the blurriness. Despite the aches I felt all over my body. I could tell it was him hovering over me. The face I missed so much.

I tried to lift my left hand, needed to touch him to make sure that this was not just another nightmare, but I couldn't. I moved my other hand, realizing that I was gripping something. Turning my head and blinked, I saw a tiny arm coming from a bundle of blanket. A baby. I had a small wrist of a baby in my right hand.

“Yul....” I could hear my own voice, hoarse and weak. But the question in my mind was loud and clear. “Baby?”

When no immediate answer came, I asked again. “Our baby?”

“Yes.” He had tears in his eyes.

Somehow, a heavy breath of relief escaped my lungs. The movement, the smooth skin, I could feel it all. This was real. This was not a dream.

“Our baby.” Tears fell unbridled. I felt so relieved. I didn't lose my baby. My daughter was here.

I tried to move some more. I wanted to see my baby. I wanted to hold her. But people started coming into the room, pressing, prodding, asking questions.

“No!” I tried to yell when one of them tried to whisk Yuri and my baby away. I could feel someone pried my baby's hand from my grip.

“No!” I tried again. I couldn't risk falling into another nightmare. I couldn't risk being away from my baby one more time.

Loud beeping came from somewhere near my head, piercing my ear. And people, that I now recognized as doctors and nurses, started to speak loudly to each other.

As if triggered by the noise, I could feel my self-awareness shrunk. My eyes was becoming heavy again.

This was madness. I needed to wake up. I clawed the sheet underneath my palm. I tried to move my legs and my arms. There were cables and tubes around me, with all my might I tried to break free from all the restraints.

“Mam, you need to calm down.”

Yuri was nowhere to be seen but I heard my baby crying. I had to to get to them. The beeping got louder. The people around me getting aggressive. One of them even pinning my right hand onto the bed.

“No! Yuri!” I felt something strange coursing through my vein. Drowsiness engulfed me, my eyes couldn't be opened.

“No! Please! No!” From behind the wall of darkness, I sobbed.

“Please....” Begging was the only thing I could do upon being able to open my eyes again. My eyelids, they still felt heavy. I refused to give up though, prying them open with all my might.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to call for help. But then I recalled how people didn't really let me had my way the last time. I closed my eyes, trying to breath evenly.

One.

Two.

Three.

After I was sure of some semblance of control on myself, I opened my eyes again. My gaze roamed. My mind whirled. Every time I tried to think hard, my head hurt. So I just stayed still, breathing, observing.

The ceiling was painted blue. The source of light coming from above my head was too bright. There was some kind of humming from a machine somewhere. I saw two IV bags hung from the a pole on the side of the bed, probably connected to my hand. I was definitely in a hospital.

I tried to move my left hand. I couldn't. I tried the other hand then I noticed another person in the room. Someone laid his head on the bed beside me. His hands were clasping my right hand.

With great effort, I tilted my head to see. The shining black hair. The strong arms and broad shoulders. It was him. My dear Yuri. I waited for a few moment before moving my fingers, hoping that he caught the signal.

He didn't. A familiar soft snore reverberated in the room, bringing a tinge of happiness to my heart. It was definitely my Yuri, sleeping beside me.

I decided to wait, afraid of changes, fearing another sudden separation. My mind was busy, trying to ask myself of why, when, and how.

Jumbled images flashed and flashed relentlessly. None was clear enough to tone down my curiosity. I saw Yuri, rubbing my big belly as he drives. I saw cute baby clothes and tiny crib. I saw the list of names we made on a sheet of pink paper and the ultrasound picture I attached on it.

My baby. I had to use every ounce of my resolve to stop from screaming, asking for my baby. I had seen her in Yuri's arms before. Tiny arm stuck out from the bundle of pink.

Was my baby in this room?

I focused my hearing, eager to hear the cry of an infant. There was only the soft humming of machine. I tried to crane my neck to see, but it hurt so much to do so.

My inability to move, was this mean something wrong had happened to me?

What about my baby? Was she okay?

As the distress bothered me the machine started to beep a little louder.

No! Calm down, Jessica! I ordered myself. With my eyes closed, I started to count again.

One.

Two.

Three.

Exhaling a slowly, I opened my eyes.

“Jessica...” Yuri had waken up, eyes looking at me worriedly.

“Yul...” I croaked.

“You wake up.” He kissed my hand.

“What's.... happened...?”

His eyes gazed into mine for a moment before his answer came along. “A little incident. How are you feeling, baby?”

“Hurts.” I sighed. Incident he said? What kind of incident it was? I tried to remember but my head hurt so bad. “Heavy.”

“I'll alert the doctor.”

“No!” I tugged at his hand. Panic started to built up in me. “No.”

“But...”

“No.” Trying to shake my head for emphasize hurt me even more. I cringed at the sudden jolt of pain creeping from my neck to my back.

“You're in pain. Doctor-” He rose up from the chair.

“Yul. No!”

“Okay... okay...” He gulped, watching me closely. “Calm down, baby.”

His hand moved to caress my forehead. The loving gesture warmed my heart. I relaxed on the pillows, counting my breath again. “Our baby?”

“Our daughter? She's sleeping. In other room.” Yuri didn't stop moving, caressing, kissing, holding my hand tight.

“She okay?”

“She's wonderful.” He smiled. Despite the nagging pain, I smiled too.

“See....” I coughed. My throat felt so dry. It was so hard to string words into sentence. “See. Our baby.”

“You want to see our baby?”

I tried to nod.

“I'll bring her here.” To my horror, Yuri stood up again. I clutched at his hand. Crippling fear surged back inside of me.

“No. No go.”

“Let me alert someone, okay? Your mother? My mother? Our family are all outside.”

I gave it a quick thought. If I let Yuri disappeared through the door, who could guarantee that he would come back? What if the doctors and nurses came aga