A/N: A small thanks to my supporters who've been patient and lenient with me (does anyone know where I can get graphics it's been forever). Let the New Year bring good times, good health, and good music!

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{Foreword}

Thousands of years ago, when the gods were young and the world was only just beginning, the power was shifting. Younger generations of deities were desperate to take over from their parents and start governing the developing world. However, no one was willing to part with their conquests. Original gods began to attack the less experienced in fear and reluctance to give up power. Soon, parents and children became divided and war raged in Heaven and Earth.

Battles were vicious with rage embedded deep in their hearts. As a start for power, it became a war for ego. Kingdoms became centers for heated debates and humans subject to the destruction of violence in their world. Who would crumble first? Who would surrender first? Who would perish first?

The young side called themselves Neaimos while their elders were Exovasis. Opposing sides didn’t entirely consist of young versus old. Some original superpowers found the young fire to be inextinguishable and supported the growing warriors. Other children thought it better to stay beside their parents, in both fear and confidence that they would be victorious. While the lines were clear for most soldiers, one was a notable double agent.

Her father controlled the skies and was the most powerful of his siblings. His daughter did not disappoint either. She followed her peers and pretended to strategize their advances while revealing plans to her father, including the number of forces, formations, and weak spots. After many years of stalemate, the daughter began to doubt her father and Exovasis’ abilities of winning the long war. The sense of camaraderie with the other young-blooded powers pushed her insecurities further. She eventually withdrew from her father.

With more effort placed into her own battles, the Neaimos overpowered and exiled those who opposed to a deep prison underneath the ground, labeled Kolasi. However, the traitorous ways of the certain goddess were revealed by her father as he was thrown into darkness, and her allies, after much debate, decided to send her into exile.

With the powers of the sea and land, they conjured an island unable to be perceived by humans, and sent this goddess to live there for eternity. Knowing that she had deceived them was a factor in her punishment, but so was her friendship, commitment and shared blood. They gave her as much luxury as they could without companionship: a beautiful home, plenty of provisions, and a safe island to live on. Being an immortal meant she was unable to kill herself. She was also unable to leave but other powers were able to visit as they had done few times.

As years passed the loneliness became crippling. The goddess knew her actions were wrong and that punishment was suitable, but her heart wasn’t prepared for the unmentioned aspect of her discipline: love.

The first man that washed ashore surprised her. He was human but she was told no human could’ve discovered the island. Though, she took care of him after learning that he had gotten lost at sea and nursed him back to health. It wasn’t difficult to develop feelings for him; he was intelligent, adventurous, and strong. He spoke fondly of his teacher and of the many land-ridden battles he emerged victoriously, proud of his empire. The former Neaimos strategist was enamored with his military prowess. Coupled with the fact that the goddess hadn’t seen another living being besides an animal for decades, she gave into his charisma and fell in love. He healed her lonesome soul before admitting that he had a family back home.

Not willing to part with the man that cured her desolation, she clung on and seduced him, telling herself that he wouldn’t be able to go back and that she might as well take him for her own. But the general insisted on going back, ridden with guilt and longing, and begged the woman to release him. After weeks of pleading, she finally sent him away on a wooden raft and spent an even longer time coaxing her heart to mend itself again.

She thought it was a fluke and that human would be the only man she ever loved, but after the second, third, fourth, and fifth man the goddess realized that this was intentional. She came to accept that fact but her heart continued to move for each person that washed ashore her island. There was no stopping the love she cumulated and there was no stopping the need for them to leave in one way or another. One of her cousins finally visited to subdue her anger. She yelled and wept and broke apart, causing the skies to roar and lightning to strike her cousin’s impenetrable body. Despite his attempts to rid her strength, he wasn’t able to control her. Her betrayal had forced her into a lifetime of loneliness and heartbreak. But there was still that sliver of hope inside that, if the right man appeared in her life, she would be able to keep him by her side.

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No more tears. No more tears. Goddammit why are there tears?! I wiped my eyes but the burn wouldn’t stop. Tears dribbled down my cheeks and chin, constricting my heart until it felt dry beneath my chest. Why does this stupid heart still beat? I thought that the others were finally letting up on their grudge; Peter was young with no baggage but a hot head. There were many excuses I heard, a family, a responsibility, a desire to just leave me. But no one had ever died on me. It should’ve been better to let Nero drain my powers. I sat on my legs, staring at the section of sand that was sprinkled with yellow and purple daylilies. My chest felt heavy as I stood up, imagining his sleeping face beneath all of the sediment. “You got a little out of control there, huh?” I whipped around and punched the intruder’s stomach, making him double over. He groaned. “Jesus.”

“What the do you want, Lee? This is not the time to rub my face into the ground!” I shouted and he held up his hands, sporting an obnoxious smirk.

“It’s hard to be a goddess and control your rage around humans, huh?” he noted and I walked away, twirling my fingers that had an itch to punch. “I’m surprised you’re not in worse shape, your lightning just struck him down—.”

“ you, Lee! Okay? Go yourself! I’m done with you and the rest of the others sending me here to wallow in self-hatred and unfulfilled loves. I’ve spent thousands of years here, when are you going to grow a pair and get over your damned grudges?!” I snarled and he flicked his hand, spraying me with water. Oh my God.

“Cool down, it was your fault for helping out Uncle.”

“Oh, it was my fault for choosing to help my father? He’s my goddamned father! And I’ve done plenty for the Neaimos; I dropped him and supported you wholeheartedly. Leaving me on this stupid island is one thing, but you keep throwing my emotions around!” I wiped my hand over my face, scowling at the salty sea water. I stomped back to the house, hearing footsteps follow me.

“Peter never got over himself, spending time with you made him more mature in the last five minutes of his life than the last five years,” he told me and I felt my heart sink into my stomach. He was quite childish at first, but it was refreshing. I loved the way he would make me laugh until I cried. I stared at my hands. I didn’t kill him with my hands, but I might as well have. It was my storm, my lightning that struck down that tree. Why did we have to fight so badly? Why couldn’t he accept that I’ve been with other people? But at the same time, Alex was the only one who wasn’t hurt by jealousy and Peter was the youngest I’ve been with. He was profoundly immature and while at times it made him endearing, it was vicious in arguments.

“Did everyone plan that I would kill him?” I mumbled and the brunette shrugged. I sighed deeply.

“You may have loved him but you know how much of a nuisance he was. It was either killing him or learning that he was a single father.” I threw my hands up, shaking my head. There’s always something to take him away. “And it seems that Belle isn’t letting up on you.”

“She hates me to the core; didn’t she give special attention to Alex?” I mumbled, thinking back to the first man that came ashore my island.

“Mm, she said that someone else is coming,” Lee warned and I bit my lips. I stared back, straining my eyes to see the makeshift grave. Dammit.

“I just buried the 8^th love I’ve ever had, she couldn’t wait another century?” I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged again. We walked up the beach and followed the stone steps that rose towards my home. It used to be bigger but I renovated the place so that it was only one story. The tall male lowered his head a little to get through the door.  

“I’ll talk her into letting up, but she was bragging a lot, saying that she’s got your type nailed,” he sighed, going straight into the alcohol cabinet.

“And what is my type?” I wondered, sitting down in my hanging chair.

“Um, she said taller, husky voice, and a smile that makes the eyes disappear,” Lee tossed a beer and I caught it, thinking about what Belle thought of my aesthetic necessities. Wouldn’t a girl always want a man taller than her? And low voices are a sign of authority and confidence, it’s assuring. And eye smiles are cute! Peter had a very boyish eye smile, as did Han…

“I’m not ready for another guy, there’s too many! My heart keeps splitting itself, trying to make room for the next, just leave me alone for the next few centuries,” I leaned back, popping open the can to drink from. Praise Dmitri for coming up with alcohol.

“You’re still family and what you did was painful. We can’t trust you, that’s why we put you here. Understand it, I’ll let you mourn then,” he patted my shoulder as I lazily sipped my beer and snapped his fingers, calling on Herman to transport him out. I leaned my head back. Time to mourn again.

I played with the butterfly knife Peter first came with, flicking it open and twirling it in between my first two fingers. Usually there was nothing left of the men that came, as if they never existed. The little tool in my hand said otherwise about Peter. I tried to love all of my men equally, but there was something different about each of them.

Maybe it was because I had something of Peter’s still that made the memory of him a little warmer. Maybe it was because he was the most recent love interest. Maybe it was because he died and didn’t leave. If he lived, would he have stayed? Would he have actually agreed to spend eternity with me? No…Lee said he had a child. A strong streak of guilt struck me. I just orphaned a child, who knows, he might have more than one! I held up the knife, blurring the image of the steel and the black ceiling together. Maybe if I just… I turned it around and clutched the handle in my palm, bringing the blade closer so it rested on my furiously beating heart. “I’m so done with this,” I breathed deeply, shutting my eyes. Alexander, Lomeli, Chris, Han, Julius, Yi, Richard, and now Peter. They just all leave me. I folded the knife into its handle with shaking hands and placed it on my nightstand. Pain won’t help when you’re immortal. Rapid knocks on the door made me jump up in bed, tilting my head. “No one visits so often...” Lee hadn’t left me for more than three weeks. Visits in general were uncommon. I walked a few steps to the door and opened it to stare into the barrel of a gun.