home is far away

E4SE
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It amuses him how despite facing the worst situation a heartbroken person could be in, he still feels like laughing. Baekhyun and his husband remain lying there on their loveless bed like two breathing corpses. No words were spoken; only a few intakes of breath could be heard from time to time because they were both suffocated. Two pathetic men pretending that no hearts and dinner plates were shattered from their last argument.

 

Baekhyun hears Chanyeol shifting on the bed, but he’s still so far away, just like he has always been. Chanyeol is about one arm stretched away, yet Baekhyun couldn’t deny the amount of disgust settled in his palm for him to have the guts to reach out. It seemed like Jinah has left an hour ago, slamming the door of his house like it’s her own, but the way the front door slammed doesn’t make him flinch just as much as their bedroom door did when Chanyeol dashed out after her.

 

His own mouth tastes the hopeless lies Chanyeol slipped under his tongue when they kissed that evening, how Baekhyun’s unfaithful husband easily lets his tears fall and beg, and beg, and beg for Baekhyun not to leave, only for him to walk away the moment he hears his hidden lover walk out that door. It’s a harsh reality that slammed Baekhyun in his face harder than the front door did, and he could not do anything but laugh when Chanyeol returned with two broken hearts in his hands, panting harshly.

 

Baekhyun is exhausted. Slapping his hands and hitting his fists on Chanyeol’s chest wouldn’t make the man bend down and gather his crystal glass of a broken heart when all Chanyeol has done was polish the trophies of secrets he has on his shelf the moment Baekhyun’s disability somehow burdened him. He hears Chanyeol breathe, and in that second, he feels silly for even hating the sound of his husband inhaling.

 

“I want to go home, to my parents,” he murmurs in the dark. “Take me home to my parents.”

 

Chanyeol doesn’t protest like he did earlier that day. He doesn’t cry, he no longer begs, he doesn’t try to hold Baekhyun’s hand. It seemed like giving up when Chanyeol simply complies without a fight. “Okay... I will.”

 

“Is that it?” Baekhyun asks, attacked by a sudden surge of anger in his spine. “This evening, you begged to stay before she walked out of that door and now you want to let me go? That was all it took? For your… your lover to leave…?”

 

“Baekhyun, I don’t know where she is…” Chanyeol whispers.

 

“I’m your husband!” He snaps, so loud that his own voice rings in his ears and he hates himself for it. “How can you lay there and worry about someone else when your husband is sitting next to you trying to wonder how did the love of his life fall in love with someone else so easily…? Chanyeol… Chanyeol, how… just how did you fall out of love so easily when the only person I love is you…?”

 

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Chanyeol says, sounding helpless as though he’s the victim of the situation.

 

“At least pretend like you care! That’s the least you could do for me when I gave up my whole life just to marry you!” Baekhyun curls up at the corner of the bed, digging his nails into his knees. Chanyeol’s breath hitches. The man moves on the bed, shifting closer to him before Baekhyun pushes him away. “I’m your husband, Chanyeol… but who is she to you? Just how much does she mean to you to the point where you left your husband to run after her…?”

 

Baekhyun is left hanging when Chanyeol falls into total silence. It’s useless to be speaking to his husband like this, when his questions go unanswered and Baekhyun feels like he’s being abandoned all over again because the bedroom is too quiet.

 

“She’s my fiancée…” Chanyeol finally hands him an answer, voice so soft that Baekhyun almost doesn’t hear him.

 

But he manages to. And he regrets asking that particular question in the first place. Baekhyun is out of tears by now, breathless when he tries to speak. “What…?”

 

His fiancée. His husband has a fiancée, the one he brought home and introduced to him as his new caretaker. The beautiful girl whose scent resembles Chanyeol on sleepless midnights, the one Baekhyun dismisses as Chanyeol’s temporary pleasure turns out to be someone who mattered more to Chanyeol than Baekhyun does.

 

“Your fiancée,” Baekhyun says, more to himself, like he’s trying to comprehend how much this girl means to his beloved husband. “Did you even think of how I would feel when you proposed to her…? Does she know that you have a husband when she said yes?”

 

Chanyeol doesn’t have to answer him. Baekhyun knows the truth by now, only disbelief and betrayal hovering over his shoulders. He scoffs as he cries once more, wiping his cheek before the beads of tears could drop.

 

“All you do is hurt me,” Baekhyun covers his sobs with the back of his hand, too tired to swat Chanyeol’s hand that’s resting on his knee. “You could’ve just told me that you didn’t love me anymore. Tell me the truth, Chanyeol; when Jinah wasn’t home the other day and we spent the whole day together, when you held me in your arms and told me you loved me, did you even mean it at all…?”

 

He’s hesitating, Baekhyun could hear whispers in his head. He’s hesitating, he’s not answering, he’s hesitating, he’s hesitating, he’s hesitating...

 

“Of course I meant

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baekyeolangst
e4se: featured. thank you so much! the suffering will end soon(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Comments

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yeolibeun #1
Chapter 13: hi!! i came here again after 5 -6 years omggggg. hi if you there, please kindly give us update about this fic. i hope you dont give up on this fic because this is my favorite fic :( and pls end baekhyun's suffering i want to see him happy again and away from that criminal K pls plsss :(
ellip-sism
#2
Chapter 13: pls pls pls don't give up on this fic i already had multiple imaginative outcomes but i want something definite u_u
viumin #3
ill wait forever for this story to end. the first time I read this in 2017 and I will come back everytime til its over
Beau1996 1306 streak #4
This is one of my favorite stories - ironic how Kris ended up in prison in real life...
Mioshin
#5
Chapter 13: Still waiting
Kaeixx
#6
Oh my I remember reading this as it was being updated 😭😭 I miss it pls finish it if you get the chance it was a really good story
kangchaerin #7
Im still waiting TT
pianobaek #8
Chapter 2: will die to read an update from EASE T___T
Thinking of an ending where baek can see again without chanyeol knowing and seeing all of this bull lol. chan you don't deserve him, not even a single bit
Beau1996 1306 streak #9
Chapter 13: Rediscovered and definitely deserves an ending!?
Beau1996 1306 streak #10
Chapter 8: This episode always makes me cry - Baek is so mistreated by Chan