Is it love?
I peeked into the living room and saw Heechul in the Young Masters arms. He had a smile on his lips which said how happy and comfortable he was.
I know that this means very much to him.
I know that he loves the Young Master. Even if he doesn't believe it yet. Even if he declines it. He does. It's the way he smiles at him, the way he looks at him. The way he wakes him up. The way he glances at him when the Young Master doesn't notice.
I'm sure, since he isn't aware of his own feeling completely yet he does this all unconsciously. But as soon as he realizes his feelings he'll notice that his feeling were there for much longer than he thought.
I sighed and walked back into the kitchen where I slumped on a chair and rested my head on the table.
It was hard to see him with the Young Master. He was happy all the time but hell I was jealous.
I wanted to be by his side. But well. Heechul does love him. Not me.
I'm just his 'sister'.
The next day Heechul and me were as always preparing breakfast. He was very eager to make the food as good as possible and as good as he could. Miss Sunny and Miss Jessica stayed until it was really late yesterday. When they left, Miss Jessica seemed to be very upset while Miss Sunny was smiling all over her face.
Anyway, Heechul was very happy. He was whistling along to the radio which kept playing in the kitchen. He was chopping some vegetables. He pulled my sleeve and grinning started to form faces with the vegetables. I laughed at the smiley he made out of paprika, tomatoes and carrots and started to form my own one. Together we laughed at the ridiculous forms the faces had and the different expressions.
It was fun. A peaceful Saturday morning you spent with the person you loved. I enjoyed it very much.
The rice was steaming hot when he lifted the bowl out of the cooker. He tasted the rice with his chopsticks before holding some rice up to my face to try it too. I stared at the rice he held with his chopsticks and slowly shook my head
"Nahh Heechul it's ok I don't have to try." I said and stepped back a bit .
"Say Ahhhhh" he said and raised the chopsticks higher encouraging me to finally open my mouth. Eventually I gave in and let him feed me. The butterflies in my stomach were active like never before. He smiled satisfied and shoved another small amount of rice in his mouth. I watched as the rice disappeared behind his plump lips. He munched on it happily while singing along to a song and dancing through the kitchen. He gripped my wrist and pulled me along spinning us through the room. I was laughing while holding onto his dress tightly and his arm was around my shoulder.
Both of us started to get dizzy and we stopped spinning. Heechul tried to stand straight but he was way to giddy and slowly stumbled backwards until a pair of hand held his shoulder tightly against his chest supporting him. "Heechul watch out." The Young Master said looking into Heechuls eyes while he looked up at him with a bright smile. "Yes!!"
"Don't do this anymore."
"But" Heechul turned around and looked at him with big eyes while pouting his lips adorably "It's fun!!"
The Young Master laughed at his behavior and poked his pout with his index finger "Fine. Just don't hurt yourself ok??"
Heechul gave him his bright smile again while nodding his head eagerly.
Anyway we continued to prepare the breakfast for the Young Master and his cousins who were still here.
Two hours later I was observing all of them sitting at the grand table in the living room eating together. Heechul was sitting next to Henry while the Young Master and Kyuhyun sat opposite of them. They were talking and laughing all the time. Still I noticed how often Heechul would look at the Young Master and how he would smile whenever their looks would meet. It was so different from his other smiles.
I felt my heart ache as I thought about him being so happy with the Young Master and suddenly it overcame me again. This incredible sadness.
I would cry every night when I come home after a long day of work. I would just lay in my bed, close my eyes and lay there trying to fall asleep. But whenever I closed my eyes images of his smiling face would appear. I would smile and sometimes even giggle or laugh when I remembered funny happenings. And just when I was happy, images of him being by the Young Masters side would appear and my heart would feel like it got torn apart every time.
I started to cry every time this happened.
It just really hurt to see him so happy with the Young Master.
I couldn't help the jealousy that would come over me again and again.
And I don't know how long I'll be able to see him love the Young Master anymore.
How long I'll manage to bear the pain I feel every time.
How long I'll be able to cry myself to sleep and act as if nothing happened the next day.
How long I'll manage to smile in front of him without thinking about his feelings for somebody else.
I leaned against the wall and held my chest while a tear ran down my cheek.
"Nana??" Suddenly I heard his voice and opening my eyes I saw him standing right in front of me. He had a worried expression as he was looking at me with those big beautiful eyes of his. My heart immediately started to beat faster.
"Why are you crying??" He asked placing the dishes onto the table and looking back at me.
"It's nothing Heechul" I said and smiled at him. Taking a step closer he lay his hand on my cheek and wiped the tear away with his thumb.
"You sure?" He asked again and I smiled the best smile I could give him in that moment.
"Ok then. If you need something just tell me." He said and turned to walk back to the rest but stopped and looked at me again with a serious expression "Talking about this..." He stopped and looked into the living room for a moment before looking at me again. "Can we talk?"
"My room? Later?" He asked and I nodded again after which he disappeared.
Three hours later when both of us found time to talk he took me to his room. We sat on his bed facing each other, not saying anything. I was looking at him waiting to say something.
After a long time of silence he looked up from the mattress with a stern expression "Nana" he started and looked up to look into my eyes with what seemed to be a confused and sad expression.
"Have you ever been in love?"
"I have" I answered after a long moment of silence.
"How does it feel like?" He asked again with that expression. He seemed so lost. So confused.
Even though I felt nervous about the questions I managed to keep my calm.
"Why do you ask??"
"Because... Because I don't know how I feel." He said and played with his fingers.
I nodded my head and swallowed the feeling of dryness in my throat away. "About the Young Master??"
I saw how his Adam's Apple moved when he gulped. He bit his lips and closed his eyes before finally nodding his head.
"You know there is this special feeling. Whenever you are around a certain person, everything around you becomes unimportant. The only thing you see is that person. You see his gestures in a new way. The way he smiles, talks, walks, moves anything. You think constantly about him. You like the way he treats you in comparison to others. You like the way he looks at you, the way he smiles at you. And you get hurt whenever he ignores you while interacting with other persons. Especially persons you don't like. Whenever he touches you, you feel the place getting warm, or you feel shots of electricity which are so addicting. In your stomach you feel a fluttering feeling which is breathtaking."
"Exactly what I feel"
I sighed deeply and fought back the tears "Heechul, I already told you once, but you didn't wanted to believe me. I think that...."
"That you are in love.. With the Young Master" I whispered the last part.
"Heechul. The fluttering feeling. It's called having butterflies in once stomach. The hurt feeling and dislike towards the person he spends time with, it's called jealousy."
"But how can I be sure that it is really love??"
I shrugged my shoulders "If it really is, You'll know. You'll just feel it. You feel how your heartbeat fasten every time you see him. Just the way he looks at you can make your body heat up. You could stay at his side all day long just watching him. He makes you smile and laugh constantly. You behave differently in front of him. I can't tell you what you feel Heechul. But the way I see it, you really do love him."
"How can you know?" His voice was so desperate "How can you be so sure about it?"
I shook my head sadly "It's the way you look at him. The way you smile. The way you behave. The way you react to his words. The way you talk about him. The way you respond to his touch. The feeling of being comfortable around him without needing words. I can see it. And It's so different from when you talk to any other person."
"So what should I do now??"
"... I don't know. I think you need to accept these feelings to figure out whether it really is love or not."
He crawled over the bed and embraced me tight nuzzling his face in my neck. I ignored the shiver of excitement that went down my spine "Nana... Will you help me?"
I hesitated but nodded "I will."
"I... I don't know how to figure my feelings out." My hands drove through his soft hair.
"You've kissed right??" He nodded his head straightening his position and looking at me.
I looked at his beautiful face and got lost in his eyes. I raised my hand and lay it on his cheek while looking at his lips. My heart was beating incredibly fast.
I don't know what happened with me but I leaned in and closed the gap between us.
I kissed him with closed eyes for a few seconds. The butterflies in my stomach were nearly exploding while my brain seemed to have stopped functioning. I was silently enjoying how his lips felt on mine and wished that this moment would never end.
But suddenly the door flew open "Heechul I---- What the hell?!?!!!"
The sound of Young Master's shocked voice made us break apart.More like him push me away. I looked at Heechul with sad eyes while Heechul was looking at him shocked.
"H-Hankyung!!! It's not like it looks like!!" But he just raised his hands and excited the room. Heechul looked after him with incredibly sad eyes.
"Why did you do that?!!" He yelled at me with tears in his eyes.
"Did it feel the same way when he kissed you??? Did you feel anything when I kissed you??" He was still looking at the door.
"No Nana. I didn't feel anything right now."
"What did you feel when he did?"
He thought for a moment looking at the mattress. With a slight smile he answered "I guess butterflies and comfort. And warmth..."
I nodded my head. The same as me just moments ago.
"You are in love Heechul."
It's been a long time guys.. I didn't plan to update before I finish my exams but since this chapter is quite boring and not interesting I decided to upload a more exciting chapter when I finish my exams..
Anyway I have to say, I had real problems with this chapter. I'm not satisfied with it at all but I think the main things are clear. It's just really important for the story to show Nana's emotions towards Heechul too since there will be a change soon!!
The gif in the last chapter and this are made by me. I'm glad you like them ^^
(Btw.. I have updated Kiss and Kill.. There is smut.. kkk Read if you like :D )
There is one more thing.
Let me tell you like that. You know that in the beginning I wanted Siwon to fall for Heechul right?? But then I thought of Sibum.
Not long ago I was starting to think of SiChul again and then making it develop to Sibum..
But a few of you actually want KyuChul as a longer chaptered relationship. So I am asking you... SiChul or KyuChul?
I just want to know your opinion.
And one more thing..
Would you mind telling me your fave Hanchul story?? Or Eunhae??
I don't have anything interesting to read right now and am quite bored.. So send me the link please!!
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