Chapter 2: I'm really intrigued by this story. I've never read many office/work aus before, and this one was really interesting. I like how you developed the relationship between Jongin and Kyungsoo. I really like the twist you added in Chapter 2, and it really explains why Kyungsoo is so good at helping out Jongin. The first chapter made me so happy inside, but also confused, and I think that the second chapter really clears things up. However, I found it strange that Jongin could fall in love with Kyungsoo so fast. It was kind of confusing to tell when Jongin met Kyungsoo and how they had been keeping up this relationship for. Perhaps you could specify on these kinds of details so that readers don't think that it's instalove? Also, there are some grammar mistakes here and there, including run on sentences and a missing comma. Also, you should refrain from calling characters "the taller" or "the shorter". Replace these with their real names or just a simple "he". Another thing, I would've liked it if there was more description so that I could properly paint a visual of what the places look like. This will help you improve your story with imagery. Overall, I really enjoyed this story, I wasn't ready for the angst. Are you planning on continuing this story?
How could you do this to me!? You got me feeling all fluffy inside, and then not even half an hour later, you just go and decide to hit me with that angst?! This is why I have trust issues.
On a totally unrelated note: I LOVE THE STORY! I literally LIVE for angst, and I felt that the story did a wonderful job at really getting through to my heart! I do have to say however, that although I would've appreciated more closure to the ending, it was still beautifully written. The open-ending kind of adds to the mood and tone of the story. Thank you so much for writing this! I would also like to thank you for requesting me to read this from the comment shop! If you didn't, I wouldn't have been able to read this beautiful story! Thank you again and have a nice day!~
Chapter 1: This is a really interesting story so far! I've never seen a fic with this kind of scenario before, so I can't wait to see what happens next! Thank you for writing this chapter!
Chapter 2: Well...okay. I suspected this at the beginning of the chapter but that sorrow thing? Jongin come here and let me hug you. I dont like it when people are sad. Anyways, I think I can be friends with Kyungsoo in my afterlife since I want a soulmate or lover so bad but I am probably gonna die alone. Kyungsoo is so relatable. I really hope Jongin gets over everything and finds happiness again.
Chapter 1: I love how you portray the relationship of Kyungsoo and Jongin without going too deep or making it long. And the fact that I can actually imagine their relationship in my mind thrills me! Kyungsoo is so cute, Jongin is kinda oblivious(?) and Yifan is annoying.
Chapter 2: This was beautiful and sad at the same time. From the beginning i knew there was something odd about soo s existence. I thought it was adorable that jongin referred to him as kiddo, that soo was always there with sweets and baked goods for jongin, how soo even helped him with his prototype. It was an inevitable falling in love for both of them. But then jongin turned really happy and he loses the ability to see soo. It s so twisted. On one hand we know how much jongin is willing to give up an entire happiness in his life f sorrow means he still gets to see soo, but on the other hand we know soo doesnt want that for jongin at all.
One day, theyll get reunited, im sure, and they can love each other happily then
Thanks for writing and sharing!!
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