Of course, nothing answered except for the sweet sound of silence. Not that she expected an answer, anyways.

The sky was a gloomy shade of blue and gray now. To Airi, it was the color of her memories; fuzzy, melancholy, and unclear.

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

By the time Airi woke up, Jinyoung was nowhere to be found. At first, she panicked at the thought of him abandoning her. However, she let out a pent up sigh of relief when she found a yellow sticky note plastered on the kitchen table.

“I’m off to work. There is food in the refrigerator and money in the drawer of the cabinet to your left. Don’t bother to work or do chores,” Airi read out loud. Simply put, he wanted her to leisurely hang around in his house. Her eyebrow twitched; she was not going to stand around and be taken care of. She placed her hands on her hips, her lips forming a knowing smile.

Airi set off to clean the apartment. It was the first thing that came to her mind as she saw the piles of unwashed clothing, bags of garbage, and stray wrappers and bags. She dusted the tabletops with a feather duster she found on the floor, hand-washed the clothes with a tub of cold water and a meager amount of soap, and then tiredly walked around the apartment picking up trash.

Days passed just like that.

In fact, she didn’t know how long she stayed here. She hated to admit it, but she grew rather fond of Jinyoung; he always saw her as his priority. His actions became warmer, and the rare but quiet smiles he gave always lightened up her heart.

Nevertheless, everyday was the same old routine.

He would be off the work, she would be cleaning up the apartment. Their meals were always eaten separately; Airi hardly saw Jinyoung at all. Today was no different; wake up, clean, eat, sleep.

“Instant noodles again?” She was amazed at the amount of instant food Jinyoung ate; he had no “real” food except for the take-out box in the refrigerator that was meant for her. Clicking her tongue in disapproval, Airi wrote a mental note to herself: buy groceries.

“Cracker bag, shrimp chips, seaweed strips…” Airi crouched down next to a bookshelf to pick up a plastic wrapper labeled “seaweed strips”. She stuffed the wrapper into the trash bag with no hesitation. Suddenly, something faded and colorful caught her eye. She bent down lower, angling her head so she could catch a glimpse of what it was.

A photo?

Airi stretched her fingers out under the bookshelf, struggling to grasp the edge of the photo. She squeezed her eyes shut, wiggling her fingers further. She bit her lip and endured the pain in her shoulder, stretching even further. She let out a gasp of air as she finally managed to capture the photo between her fingers. Massaging her sore shoulder, she dragged the photo out from under the bookshelf.

It was a picture of her in her school uniform, standing next to a boy. The boy had his arm wrapped lovingly around her waist, his eyes full of warmth.

She could recognize herself immediately. It was her; she just knew it. By instinct, she knew that the boy was her first love and boyfriend. He was the only thing that she remembered; yet, she didn’t know what his name was.

She snapped her head up and quickly stood up as soon as she Jinyoung’s footsteps on the driveway. She frowned; it didn’t sound like he was alone. Mustering up all her courage, she slowly tiptoed to the window and peeked. It was Jinyoung walking next to a younger male. Her heart started to hammer, sweat forming on her clammy hands.

The boy was the exact replica of the one on her photo. He looked exactly like him.

It had to be him… right?

Airi quickly ducked out of sight from the window, hiding the photo behind herself just as Jinyoung and the boy entered the apartment. The boy was around 17 or 18; his handsome features made grow dry. She must’ve let her gaze linger on the boy for too long, for he gave her a look of utter disgust.

It perplexed her.

Why was he disgusted?

Jinyoung quietly nodded a greeting to Airi, who slowly bowed back.

“This is my nephew,” He nudged the boy in front of him. “His name is Gongchan.”

“I’m Airi,” She brightly smiled, eagerly offering a hand to him. He only scoffed in return, making skin contact with her hand before quickly withdrawing his hand. Airi’s smile faltered; his cold actions hurt her deeply. Tightening her hand, she tried to ease the pain in her chest.

“I’m going to get the tea,” Jinyoung quietly mumbled, hastily walking into the kitchen. “Airi, can you wait with Gongchan in the living room?”

“Yep,” Airi grinned. Gongchan brushed past her, ignoring her very presence. They sat down on opposite sides of the living room; Gongchan stiffly seated in a chair while Airi sat on the couch. The silence grew heavier as Gongchan refused to look at Airi.

“Uhm…” Airi cleared , hoping to break the silence. Gongchan glared at her, slamming his fists on the table.

“You’re disgusting.”

She couldn’t believe what she just heard. A seed of doubt was planted into her mind.

Is this the boy that she always knew?

“Sorry?” Airi cracked a smile, hoping that she heard wrong.

“You’re disgusting. You’ve been lazing around in the hospital for ten years, then you choose to be a bother to my uncle?” Gongchan shouted, furiously shaking with anger.

“I… I… don’t understan-“

“My uncle! He’s ruined his entire life and future just for you! You made him miserable too many times! He may have saved your life, but he sacrificed his in return! And just look at yourself in the mirror; what are you wearing?! You’re not a teenager anymore!” Gongchan slammed his right fist on the table one more time before standing up and briskly walking out of the room. He slammed the door of the apartment, causing the flimsily built apartment to shake.

“Airi? What just happened?” Jinyoung tilted his head as he hastily entered the living room. Airi hid her pale face behind her curtain of hair.

“Nothing, Jinyoung.”

“If you say so…” Jinyoung approached Airi, gently patting her on her head. Airi ducked her head even lower as tears threatened to spill out of her wide-open eyes. His gentle touch only made her shake with even more emotion.

“I- I need to go to the restroom!” Airi suddenly exclaimed, swatting off Jinyoung’s hand as she dashed to the restroom. She quickly closed the door and locked herself in as soon as she entered the dimly lit resteroom. Her breaths came in short as she fell limply onto the floor, her hair a mess. She realized that all this time, she didn’t even know what she, herself, looked like.

Ten years?

Not a teenager?

She was losing control of herself as she hungrily searched the restroom for any mirror or shiny object. Airi clawed away at the floor tiles, her eyes open and mad. She didn’t feel the pain in her knees as a stray needle pricked through her skin, the blood slowly rolling down her leg. She was in a state of delirium, her clawing feverish and growing more impatient by the second. Soon, she inhaled shakily once she tightly found a shard of glass. The broken edges of the glass cut into the soft skin of her hand, yet she ignore the warm blood trailing down her hand. Eager, she tilted the glass down to catch a glimpse of herself.

“What?” Airi breathed, letting her fingers graze her cheek. “I…”

She wasn’t the mere girl she thought she was.

Although she was dressed up in clothes that any normal high-school girl would wear, there was no doubt that she was not a teenager.

She was an adult.

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

Jinyoung’s eyes hardened as he saw what Airi had dropped during her flight to the restroom. He bent down and picked up the photo, his expression emotionless.

“It was because of this, huh?” He gave a hollow laugh that quickly died.

“Of course,” He muttered, falling into a chair. “Gongchan. My nephew. Of course she did.”

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

When Airi finished collecting her thoughts together, she discarded the piece of glass into the trashcan and washed the blood off her knees and hands. Certain of herself, she opened the door and returned to the living room. To her surprise, Jinyoung was sitting at the chair, his head buried in his hands.

“Jinyoun-” She called out. He cut her off before she could tell him about what she just discovered about herself.

“Leave,” He roughly commanded. “Just… go.”

When she didn’t move an inch, he violently pushed his chair away. His eyes were filled with sorrow and rage, an expression that embedded itself into Airi’s mind.

“Go! Don’t bother me anymore!” He roared, throwing a crumpled piece of paper at her. Trembling, she bent down and smoothed out the piece of paper. Airi swallowed when she saw the wrinkled picture of her and the boy staring back at her.

“I can’t stand this anymore,” He in a breath, and started to walk out of the room. Airi looked up, and was sure that she heard a faint sentence coming from him.

Something that sounded suspiciously like, “I’m sorry. I love you.”

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

When Airi woke up the next day, it was already in  the afternoon. Not only did the bed feel colder; her heart felt heavier and her fingers were stiff and refused to bend. She wrapped her blanket around her like a cocoon, her chest painfully throbbing when she remembered yesterday’s events. She shook her head, telling herself to go back to bed. The frostiness of the air refused to let her sleep as she uncontrollably shivered.

She was an adult, not a child.

As soon as that thought rang inside her mind, she threw her covers off herself. Airi immediately headed for Jinyoung’s room, not minding if it was an invasion of privacy. She needed to know. She needed to know about her past. She needed to know now.

Airi started to clumsily open all his drawers, uncaringly throwing out the papers and random office items inside. She knocked over his lamp, the ceramic base shattering once it fell. She created a jungle out of his room; his covers thrown back, pens on the floor, puddles of spilt coffee staining the carpet. She laughed to herself when she realized how crazy she was acting, yet she didn’t care. Her mind only had one goal in mind, nothing else.

Dissatisfied, she resorted to knocking his bookshelf over, watching as the books tumbled down onto the floor. The books fell into a heap on the floor, their covers starting to get stained by the spilt coffee. Frustrated, Airi let her legs give way as she fell to the floor, staring hopelessly at the ceiling. A piece of paper was still hanging off of the bookshelf, fluttering in the air. Airi pushed herself into an upright position, snapping the piece of paper off the bookshelf.

“Hospital fees?” Airi muttered, her eyes feverishly scanning the piece of paper. She let out a grunt of pain  and squeezed her eyes shut as a sudden string of memories were released into her brain.

Laughter of a boy and girl.

The screeching of tires, the sounds of an ambulance.

Screaming and crying.

“We'd like to cut her life support off.”

“No! You can’t do this!”

When Airi opened her eyes, her vision was hazy. She blinked a few moments, waiting for the blurriness to fade. She smiled, holding the hospital document close to her chest. At that moment, she knew exactly what she had to do.

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

“Good job today, Jinyoung!”

“See you tomorrow at work again, Jinyoung!”

“Thanks guys,” Jinyoung gave a convincing grin as he patted his fellow co-workers on the back. Stepping out of the company door, he blinked in surprise when he saw snowflakes dancing gracefully in the sky.

“Snow sure came early this year,” He mumbled, reaching out to catch a snowflake. “If she was here, she’d definitely be saying-“

“Jinyoung! Look, the sky is crying tears of happiness!”

Surprised to hear the familiar voice, Jinyoung turned around to see Airi. Before he could open his mouth to deflect her, she started to drag him away.

“Taxi, please!” Airi happily raised her gloved hand in the air, waving for a taxi to come over. Jinyoung put his hand over his chest as he remembered how hurt he felt yesterday; his hear hurt even more when he remembered how he yelled at Airi.

“There you go!” Airi pushed him into the taxi and slid into the seat next to him. “310 Pogok-eup Cheoin-gu Yongin-si Gyeonggi-do Kore, please!”

The taxi driver grunted in affirmation, and immediately started the engine.

“What are you doing?!” Jinyoung hissed. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” Airi playfully stuck her tongue out.

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

“An amusement park?” Jinyoung scrunched his forehead in confusion. “Airi, look, you really need to-“

“Two, please!” Airi cheerily handed an employee two pre-printed tickets. The employee lifted the metal bar, enabling Airi to push Jinyoung inside the amusement park.

“Look, Airi, you don’t understand-“ Jinyoung tried again, but gulped as he realized that he was being pushed onto a ride of some sort.

“In you go!” Airi gave one last heave before successfully pushing Jinyoung into the carriage. She smiled to the employee sitting in a chair next to the ride before stepping into the carriage herself.

“Is this a Ferris Wheel?” Jinyoung quietly asked.

“Yes, it is,” Airi cocked her head, observing Jinyoung’s every movement. The Ferris Wheel started to move, their carriage slowly being lifted intot he sky. Being Jinyoung’s shadow was a majestic view of the entire amusement park and its colorful lights and rides. Soon, the laughter coming from the amusement park slowly disappeared, replaced by silence and the occasional sound of shifting clothes. Airi patiently waited for their carriage to reach about halfway to the top.

Jinyoung’s shoulder twitched.

Airi smiled.

“Jinyoung. You’re afraid of heights,” Airi proudly remarked.

“That, I am,” Jinyoung quietly replied in a voice of disbelief. There was no way. After having false hope for ten years, he dared not to hope for any more.

“You’re blood type A, you’re born on November 18^th,” Airi quietly whispered. His fists began to shake with both anticipation and fear as she peered up at him with a look of hope. The carriage was still moving slowly but steadily, the view beneath them growing smaller with every passing second.

“And...” Airi raised her head to meet Jinyoung’s. “I loved you.”

“You…” Jinyoung uttered, his eyes locked on Airi’s “Loved me.”

“No, not loved,” Airi hastily corrected herself. “Love. I still do.”

She opened her arms wide, letting Jinyoung shakily rise from his seat and slump into her arms, his knees on the floor of the carraige. She his silky, brown hair as he shook in her arms. Airi rocked back and forth, tightly holding on to Jinyoung.

“How… how did you know?” Jinyoung buried his face closer to Airi’s chest, taking off his scarf and wrapping it around both of their necks.

“Hospital documents in your room,” Airi replied, sliding down from her seat to join Jinyoung on the carriage seat. 

“I… Your parents wanted to cut off your life support,” He croaked, gently tucking a strand of hair behind Airi’s ear. “I couldn’t let them do it. I told them that I would pay for your hospital fees. They told me I was being foolish.”

Jinyoung swallowed, taking a moment to calm down. This was like a dream to him; the moment that he had always wished for.

He had dropped out of high school as soon as he declared that he wanted to continue Airi’s life support. His parents and friends shunned him for that, and Airi’s parents laughed at him for his determination. Jinyoung would work multiple jobs at the same time, sometimes never resting even in the night. He knew that she would wake up from her coma one day. That day was the only thing that he always dreamed about, the only thing he strived for.

This was the moment that he lived for.

“And I thank you for that,” Airi scooted closer to Jinyoung, wrapping her arms around Jinyoung’s broad shoulder. She pulled him in and locked him in a tighter embrace.

“I wasn’t being foolish,” Jinyoung sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. Airi let a laugh pass through her lips; Jinyoung was just like a child.

“No, you weren’t,” Airi agreed, soothingly patting him on the back. She let her eyes wonder to the glass window, noticing that they were nearly at the top of the Ferris Wheel.

“Still scared?” Airi poked Jinyoung’s cheek, causing him to look in the direction of the window. He gave a small squeak, before quickly whipping his head around. The tip of their noses touched, their eyes never leaving each other’s faces.

“Not with you here,” He wiped his nose again before giving a small but mischievous smile, leaning in further. Airi squeezed her eyes shut, her heart’s pounding becoming so loud that she wondered if Jinyoung could hear it. She clenched her fists as she felt Jinyoung slowly coming in closer and closer.

“Chu!” Jinyoung quickly pecked Airi on the cheek, surprising her.

“Huh?” Airi immediately reached up to touch her burning cheeks.

“I love you too,” Jinyoung whispered, slightly tilting his head so their foreheads touched. “I’ve loved you before, I love you now, and I always will.”