Jaemi Eobseo! (It’s Not Funny!)

SINCE 1765
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Express Way 25

City of Nonsan, South Chungcheong Province

 

Half hour has passed since he drove away from Seoul, yet Kwon Jiyong’s passenger was still silent. From time to time, he glanced at her, and he saw that she was just peacefully watching the rural scenery. Jiyong didn’t mind the silence, and so he just hummed to the music while he was driving.

 

Then, he finally processed the reality. He was driving his Maserati in a provincial freeway, with SNSD’s Kim Taeyeon beside him. He remembered the council meeting, and the silly reminiscences caused him to laugh. Without realizing it, he was giggling to himself, a little too loudly.

 

“I'm sorry, but what's so funny?” inquired Taeyeon, astonished that after forty-five minutes of not talking, the driver was chuckling all of a sudden.

Still laughing, Jiyong answered, “What if the paparazzi caught us in this car? Can you imagine tomorrow's headlines?”

 

Jiyong hooted even more, shaking his head. Oddly, the thought was very hilarious to him. However, Taeyeon only found his reaction pretty offensive.

“Jaemi eobseo.”

“The hell it is,” the young man insisted, grinning.

“Stop it,” Taeyeon begged to differ, now heated up because Jiyong even howled. Clearly, this man found enjoyment in teasing her ever since they met this morning. “I said it’s not funny!”

“Come on! Find the light in this dark tunnel.”

 

Taeyeon just sneered at him and shook her head in displeasure. Recognizing she couldn’t tell him what to do, she just went back to silently observing the farm scenery of the South Chungcheong Province.

“What about this scoop? SNSD and Big Bang's leader are arranged to marry by the village elders because of The Great Pact. That's like... Jeon Jihyun being the modern day Arang, or Kim Yuna as a 21st century gumiho. You don't find that hysterical?”

 

Taeyeon preferred to ignore him, because she believed that he was probably just seeking her attention. But her nonchalance certainly did not shut Jiyong up. He continued laughing to himself, and even came up with the most childish and preposterous thoughts.

“It's Jumong and Jewel in the Palace happening in 2015. It is damn funny!” Jiyong still claimed, desperate to get a response from the mum idol. “Man, I used to be so obsessed with Goong and Queen Seondeok, and now I'm the star in our own historical drama. What shall we name our show?”

 

Taeyeon found comic, not in the idea of them starring in an epic, but in Kwon Jiyong’s shallow happiness. He sounded and acted like a teenager, amazed in something as puerile as a shaman superstition.

“The Great Pact of the Eight Provinces.” God, he’s really stupid.

“The Idol Heroes.” I can’t believe G-dragon is this dumb.

“The Calm and the Dragon.” He really finds this funny, doesn’t he?

“I like the last one, it's badass,” he remarked, but he was just talking to a wall. He glanced at his passenger, and saw that he was still being bluntly snubbed. Taeyeon’s face was turned to the opposite direction. How could someone be so passive? Then, he realized something. “Yah, you're not crying, are you?”

 

The question finally broke Taeyeon’s apathy. She looked back at him, tear-free, then scoffed, “What do you think of me? A crybaby just because I'm a woman?”

“No, why do you keep assuming that I am insulting you?” Jiyong wondered, unappreciative of Taeyeon’s ill-mannered treatment of him. “Contrary to your popular belief today, I'm not that bad of a person.”

“Then does a good person laugh at other's misery?” Taeyeon fought back.

“You don't think I'm miserable about this too?”

“Well you have a damn good way of showing it!”

 

Jiyong’s amusement faded, and his happy bubble completely burst. He now found offense in Taeyeon’s suppositions. He turned off the music so they could talk more freely.

“What do you want me to do? Cry about it? Whine? Complain? Would that change anything? I'd rather make fun of a bad situation than spend my time being miserable!” he exclaimed. Although he didn’t intend to, his voice got raised.

“Some people want to spend their time being sad and worried about the problem, okay? So please, keep your jokes to yourself while you are with me!”

“Why are we yelling? Why are we fighting?” Jiyong asked, still shouting.

“Because your cheerfulness is so infuriating!”

“So is your pessimism!”

“Then let's both just shut up, you drive quietly, and let's go home without talking or laughing!”

“ALRIGHT!” cried Jiyong in defeat.

“GOOD!”

 

They ended their shouting match watching each other, measuring up one another’s expression. Jiyong was the first to stare back on the road, and so Taeyeon followed. Without the music, they could hear each other breathe, especially since they got a bit restless from all the yelling. Much to Taeyeon’s content, silence prevailed once more.

 

But only for a few minutes. Kwon Jiyong snorted again. Taeyeon was taken aback, totally offended. She looked back at him, fuming and roaring.  “WHAT. THE. FU--”

“I'm not the enemy, okay?” he calmly reminded her, amused. “Let's not fight. We're in this together.”

“WHAT?” Taeyeon asked, yelling, and quite surprised.

“We both want, or actually not want, the same thing. We don't want to marry each other. Would you agree?”

 

This calmed her down. “Yes. Yes, of course.”

“So let's not spend time hating each other's guts. Rather, let’s make use of our time making sure we both get away from this. The world could do without a G-dragon/Taeyeon controversy. Dang, it's not even going to be a dating scandal, but a marriage scandal. Imagine that nightmare!”

 

Finally, Jiyong was talking reasonably. Without his playful media and pop culture references, Taeyeon was pleased they could finally talk about the problem at hand. She thought for a minute, and decided to entertain his attempt to have a matured conversation.

“My career might not survive that. SNSD might not survive that,” she silently muttered, saying the words like she meant it.

“It wouldn't do me, Big Bang, or YG Entertainment any good either.”

“You’re right,” Taeyeon agreed, “We both want, and don't want, the same thing.”

“Like I said.”

“So what do we do?” she probed, hoping to the gods that the silly man had something up his sleeve.

“Solve the problem together.”

“But how?”

“First, let's start over,” Jiyong suggested, talking earnestly this time. “We haven't introduced ourselves properly without being either awkward, or spiteful, of each other. Outside the music stage or that council room, we have to actually know one another.”

 

What he said made sense, and Taeyeon agreed. For some reasons, although the young man was making silly jokes earlier, he ended up leading the dialogue about their problem-solving.

“Hello, my name is Kim Taeyeon, and I am your god chosen wife-to-be. Please call me Taeyeon. It's nice to meet you,” Taeyeon entertained his proposition, holding out her hand to him.

“Nice to meet you too, Kim Taeyeon. I am Kwon Jiyong, or just Jiyong, your god fated husband-to-be,” Jiyong replied, accepting her hand.

 

For a few seconds, they shook hands rather awkwardly. It lasted a little too long, and Taeyeon was the first one to pull out because of the dangers of his driving with one hand.

“Next, we study our options to get out of this arranged marriage,” Jiyong continued problem-solving. They have just merged to another freeway, this time entering the provincial line of Daejeon.

“Easy. As far as I know, there's only three options for us,” Taeyeon contributed, recalling intently what her grandfather shared before. “Either we become legally adopted, sick and dying, or married to somebody else. Which of the three?”

“There’s actually a fourth one.”

“What is it?” Taeyeon couldn’t remember a fourth option as the elders only asked them about three valid grounds.

“Just say No together and let the elders act sickly all they want. Worst case scenario, they become angry at us.”

“No. Worst case scenario: war really comes,” Taeyeon reminded him about the stupid superstition.

“Oh please, Kim Jongun has been threatening us year after year. A quasi-war is not news. The question should be when is he going to stop threatening us, or when is he actually going to attack us. They're all talk! And besides, do you really believe all these shaman shizz?”

“Of course not. But our grandparents do. They believe it enough that my Grandpa Kim even faked a heart attack.”

“Look, we can't bridge a generation gap. So they don't talk to us for a few months. They love us, so it wouldn't take them long to forgive us. I say let's choose option four and just stick through the denial together. We have to be firm.”

 

Taeyeon pondereed through the new option that Jiyong presented. She didn’t speak for a while.

“Hey, say something,” Jiyong egged.

“I'm thinking,” she answered. She was indeed thinking. The fourth option still wasn’t a great escape as it involved fully disobeying her elders. If she could just pick option four, then she wouldn’t even have worried about anything since day one. The very reason why she was having a tough time was her good-child-complex.

“You're a perfectionist, aren't you, Kim Taeyeon?”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“You're an uptight and a goody-two-shoes daughter. You can't stand disappointing your family, especially your elders. You're the perfect child, everyone's ideal daughter and sister. Am I right? And please don't go

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LoveTwentyFour
#1
rereading this bc tbh, this was the first fic that i felt like i was submerged in its universe :'D the dealbreaker was seeing daehan, minguk and manse as their kids :'D but overall, one of my favorite fics (alongside scandal!!)!!
FannyChoi #2
Oh and also. Actually Tiffany has several interactions with Nuthang, on and off cam. She was partying with GD at Teddy’s headphones launching party, and together w Nuthang at then controversial (for some people who always against YG-SM interactions) picture at 10 Corso Como Seoul. She even called Gd Oppa at the memorable interactions in Mama 2016 if I’m not mistaken as well. Too bad there’s nothing more on cam. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tiffany is close with GD considering her outgoing bubbly personality & the alleged fantasy of her & Top since the 5 minutes glance at 2010 Gayo Dajeun. Dreamy
FannyChoi #3
Chapter 33: It’s 2022 and I’m coming back to read this again! Loving Gtae as always and you’re perfectly portrayed their personality as I would’ve imagined. My no 1 OTP always is TopFany. They would look so good together in terms pf physically & personality. Top would be so shy but underneath the shyness there are layers of secrets & player acts. In RL I’m sure he’s a lady killer🤣
lalalavieenrose
#4
REREADING THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN
reihansharif #5
Chapter 5: ah u know i love taeyeon character in this one fic..i mean i havent reach even the middle of fic but till here, i just lover her persona..its so cool and different from "just really" and "scandal"..i mean i prefer and love THIS TAEYEON thats not crybaby and the first one who falls in love..i bet and wish she dosent change my mind lol !!! i bet this continue ...i love this side of her persona
GTae4EVA
#6
Chapter 32: Great story
leegiieyeon
#7
one of my fav gtae ff ♥️
Chamyungna
#8
Chapter 32: Wow triplets! Daehanminggukmanse!
Knight_09
#9
Chapter 28: oh my ing gods. we've been suffering with the summer heat for a long time and as i read this chapter, it started to rain. what the heck is this?!?!