Taemin did his best to keep his promise to Jongin, but found that it was a lot more difficult than he had expected. It was like stripping the very foundation of his existence.

Whenever they passed each other in the hallways, Taemin sometimes tried to make eye contact just to say hi but Jongin would keep his eyes straight, not even acknowledging him with a glance. If Taemin entered the same room, Jongin would leave. At events or performances, Jongin made sure to leave a noticeable distance between them so there wouldn’t be a chance they’d bump into each other. The two were rarely seen together anymore.

Others noticed.

“Did you guys fight?” Taemin’s members would ask worriedly, to which he would shrug nonchalantly. But internally, Taemin was struggling without Jongin.

Every morning, Taemin stopped by the local mart and bought two banana milks. He would leave it outside of the practice room when he knew Jongin was finishing up his morning dance practice. Sometimes, he would find another EXO member to directly give it to him.

Other times, he would purposely position himself in places he knew Jongin would see him, hoping the other boy would lose his resolve and decide to talk to him. He failed every single time. It appeared as though Jongin was determined to keep Taemin out like he said he would.

More recently, Taemin drank alone at the local pojangmacha, making the owner wonder where his friend was. The two usually came together and drank merrily, loudly expressing their affections for each other so openly everyone thought they were a couple.

On nights he missed Jongin the most, he drank more than he should. Not in the right state of mind, he once called Jongin 11 times, none of which Jongin picked up.

“Jongin… It’s Taemin… I just… Can you pick up? I want to hear your voice again… I feel so alone without you. I miss you… Please…”

Jongin listened to the voicemail, tightly clutching his phone. It took everything in him to not call Taemin back or to run to the pojangmacha to see his face. It was an internal struggle he hated, willing for himself to stay put, no matter how tempting.

He needed to take more drastic measures.

The girl trainee kept trying to stop Taemin after practice and ask if he wanted to grab coffee at a cafe nearby, but Taemin would just look at her blankly and keep walking. One time, he flat out rejected her. He couldn’t help but feel bitter towards her - as if she was the reason why this rift occurred between him and Jongin.

One morning, Taemin saw EXO members walk into the building for practice and searched for Jongin like a lost puppy. But his friend was no where to be found.

“Suho, where’s Kai?” Taemin asked, still looking.

Suho had a wry expression on his face. “He has a schedule. Lately he’s been begging our manager to schedule back-to-back events for him.”

Taemin furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Back-to-back events? But he’s already so busy. When does he have time to sleep then?”

Suho shrugged. “I honestly don’t know what he’s thinking, sacrificing all of his free time like that. Even I’m not doing that and I’m the leader…” He sighed. “Alright boys, let’s go practice for next week’s show.”

The members obediently filed into the room, leaving Taemin alone out in the hallway.

From that day forward, Taemin never saw Jongin in person. He only saw the other boy by monitoring him on all of his TV programs. He noticed Jongin had dark circles that could no longer be concealed by makeup and his face looked gaunt as if he wasn’t eating well.

After much deliberation, he sent Jongin a text.

Avoid me all you want but don’t make me worry about you. Take care of yourself, Jongin. This is my request. If you don’t follow through with it, I’ll track you down and force you to eat and rest.

Jongin turned his phone off. He couldn’t stop.

The less time he had to sleep, the less he would have to dream about Taemin. The less free time he had, the smaller the chance he’d have to run into Taemin. With this logic, he kept running through event after event, giving his all into everything. While s were initially grateful that they could finally sleep in on some days, eventually, more and more, they were getting worried that Jongin was overworking himself. Jongin told them to stop fretting. He joked that he had become part machine - unstoppable.

But what he actually meant by the analogy was that he had become numb to all pain ever since he made the request to Taemin.

And one day, in the middle of one of their performances, Jongin collapsed on stage.

He was immediately rushed to the emergency room. Minho, the MC of the music program, called Taemin as soon as the ambulance drove away. “Taemin. Don’t be alarmed but Jongin just collapsed - ”

Taemin dropped his phone and ran.

He had to steady himself on a nearby chair as soon as he saw Jongin lying in bed, unconscious, hooked up to an IV. He looked so peaceful… too peaceful, as though he was finally getting every minute of rest Taemin stole from him.

Tears welled up in his eyes. This was his fault. He caused Jongin to struggle like this.

Since the other EXO members were taking up too much space in the room, the nurses asked that only one stay behind while the rest leave. They decided Suho would be the best option since he was the leader.

“Suho hyung. Can I have a moment with Jongin alone?” Taemin asked quietly.

Suho nodded and lightly tapped Taemin’s shoulder, vaguely knowing this whole situation was between Taemin and Jongin. One by one, the other members filed out after saying their quiet goodbyes to an unconscious Kai.

“I’ll be right outside.” Suho said. Taemin nodded.

After Suho closed the door behind him, Taemin sat on the chair beside Jongin’s bed.

“Jongin… It’s me. I know I’m the last person you want next to you, but I swear this is the last time I’m going to break my promise so don't hate me.” He bit his lip, tempted to grab Jongin’s hand, but stopped himself because he knew he would never let go once he did. “Jongin... I... is it selfish of me to want us to go back to the way we were? Is it too late to tell you that I feel the same way you feel for me?”

Taemin smiled bitterly. “You know I’m always slow on things. It took me awhile to realize it, but when you’re not around, I feel like I lost my other half. But I guess this is my punishment for coming to my senses too late… I hope you move on. You deserve better than me, Jongin. Just… be happy. Stop overworking yourself, you punk. I’ll stay away.”

Swallowing back tears, he stood up and looked down at Jongin’s face one more time.

“I love you, Jongin.” He whispered before he quietly walked out of the room, missing Jongin’s hand twitch.