I. Was. Here. My fangirl self and my what the self. All of me was here. 

P.S, B1A4 and Block B are my favorit k-pop groups.....ok then....bye

Lets skip all of the backstory...I may not be the happiest person out there. I may noy choose my feelings or words carefully. I may not even express my feelings but hay I'm still here. I live in a tipical American family but that doesn't say that I am a tipical American girl. I have my flaues and imperfections. Heck I'm probably like alot of people. A battle between myself with seven or maybe even more people in the ring. How can I be normal? Nobody really is "normal". Well past all of that ish my story of ups and downs acually started very early. Maybe first grade? I dont know. Born with a mental "disability" nobody really wanted to be around me. The girl that is full of just smiles, laughter, and words. They tried to brake that and they did. I was already depressed in the fourth grade but I started to get over it when I got a rabbit named Pancake. I loved him so much. I played with him, I did everything with him, but he died of liver cancer in the fith grade. Even though it sounds stupid I blamed myself. I was shot right back into a very deep depresstion that even now it is hard to avoid. I thought many times what if I died? What would these people do? Would I feel at peace? I was finnishing my planes of when I would die and all of that ish when I saw my first k-pop video. It was Super Junior's Sorry Sorry and G-Dragon's Heartbreaker. I know that it sounds cheesy but I was saved by them, somewhat. I was still depressed when I reached Middle School. Smiling hafe-heartaly. Crying myself to sleep. Causing myself pain. Everyday after coming back from school I would listen to k-pop, disconecting myself from my dark world. I lived like that until I met my friend. She was a weird, clumsy, bright girl. It sounds weird but she lighted my dark world. Around then I saw B1A4's video What's Happining. I smiled that day. My future friend and I sat near eachother during science. That is when she told me she loved anime. I did too and we started talking. Smiling felt good. I showed her k-pop and everything was handy dandy. I laugh at myself for not realizing sooner that my so called "friends" caused some of my depresstion. They made me feel bad about myself. Their words still haunt my mind. I make my life sound like one of a sad k-drama but some times someones life can be like that. Now that I'm moving on from all of that I feel like I can breath. I am starting to except myself for what I am. My friends are good ones. I'm starting to take interest in new things. I'm learing another language despite my learning disability. I am happy but no one can be 100% happy nor healed and I can live with that 1% sadness and depression. I have people that love me. Walking down my road many  people might have given up long ago but I will not. The stories I read make me laught, smile, and cry, many things I have forgotten how to do. If you made it this far in my About Me I clap for you. I thank you and even though they arn't my bias, Super Junior, G-Dragon, and Shinee thank you. You prolonged my planes of death and made me wait just a bit longer. I met friends and began to laught. I think sometimes what would have happened if I had not seen your videos...would I be dead? Would I be in the hostpital? What would my life be like? However I would never go back. I would never want to change my past. My past makes me me. With all of my imperfections and my best qualities I slash through my obsticals not run away. I sing, dance, and act because of you guys. People that read these fanfictions on this website all come from different backgrounds and tragities nobodies is worse or better than otheres. We meet here and come together with a fangirl or boy selfs and that is something that I am proud of. This is really cheesy but who cares this is me.