PLEASE READ!!!

For the 15 millionth time, just because I'm alive right now does not me I haven't tried to commit suicide. All I hear is people saying "If you really wanted to commit suicide you would've done it by now." But I've tried...SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many times. Just because it didn't work doesn't mean I'm here looking for attention especially this kind of attention. And I only posted it on here cause, yes, I did think there was a chance and maybe someone can give me help but it's usually either things I've already tried that obviously didn't work or just the same stuff people always tell me. And the suicide hotline...? Pft please. I've called there like 16 times. It . I've been hung up on, told to call back later, or they just simply never answered the phone. And when they do answer the phone they don't really help. It's just another person sitting on the other side of the phone, nodding and agreeing to everything I say. Once, a lady even told me that my life really bad and never helped me try to fix it. She just said that's how things are sometimes. Like wtf is that. So obviously, as you can see, I'm not meant to be here. A lot of people just are really ed up about it and just make it a thousand times worse. Just ignore it then. Y'all ain't say this when Jonghyun died. And I bet if you could've talked to him one on one and he came to you everyday for years saying he wanted to kill himself, you wouldn't have a single problem with it. It's always "Oh they're happy and they're in a better place now" when it's an idol but when it's some regular person then it's "Stop looking for attention!" or "You're gonna go straight to hell." Honestly, can hell be any worse than this? And none of you can really answer unless you've been there. I just don't wanna feel anything anymore. I will never accomplish anything just like I never have. I'm just a waste of oxygen. A waste of space. I don't need attention from people I don't know cause all that's gonna happen is y'all blowing up my phone which at some point gets really annoying. So yeah, thanks for caring (the ones that did). And to the ones who don't, don't comment just leave cause you're gonna end up killing me sooner if you don't.

Seohyun-forever 6 years ago

I've tried to suicide a few times... I thought it would hurt more but it didn't. I may have died then but I stopped myself to a reason I don't even know right now. All the counselors that I have met had not been really much help, so I really understood Jonghyun's situation... I haven't tried the suicide hotline because it's just more people knowing what you've gone through and stuff... Honestly, I feel like there's no right answer. People tell me to think about the future and all the happiness I would experience, but it doesn't really work out when you have like a billion things that is hurting you... What I've been trying to do... is to try to change myself and all the parts I hate about me from looks to even my personality. I'm not sure if it'll work, but I hope that it will... I wish we can get through this stage somehow... somehow

Oreoyumyum304 6 years ago

There are many times where I thought life would have been better if just ended it all, but what kept me from doing it is the constant reminder that I have so much unfinished business left to do. I have really bad anxiety, and I have been a few counselor and my current counselor has helped me a great deal. It takes a while to find the right person to click with. It really does upsets me all the time when I hear a young person committing suicide, regardless their social status.

Kpop_nightcore 6 years ago

I'm pretty sure we all know that life is ty am I right?? And I might not know you personally but it'll be worth trying to help you.

I've been in the same situation before except I didn't call the suicide hotline, didn't wanna deal with that. Better to be with people who might actually care. Whatever you do with your life is up to you really, but don't do it. There's so many good people you could meet, amazing places to be. You can't miss out all of this yet, just wait and then you can see what's on the other side. You're a strong brave person for putting this up on here thought I don't really know you like I said earlier haha. Just because you leave doesn't mean that there won't be someone to miss you. If you need an ear or hand I'm here to help if you need it. So don't go for the sake of not experiencing the things you would miss, and all of the people who will make you feel so loved, ok.

shywol 6 years ago

@RealityIsCalling yep

shywol 6 years ago

@RealityIsCalling yep

shywol 6 years ago

@RealityIsCalling yep

Lucindaes 6 years ago

The fact that you actually wrote this is amazing, it means that unwillingly you're trying to save you from yourself so many times, that's really good. I had to deal with a friend who had a lot fo suicidal thoughts and what kills those people the most is not getting the recognition they deserve. you do deserve it. your problems are valid, you do matter. for real tho, don't see me as a single comment here on a social network, but as a real person. You do matter and i don't say that out of the blue. My friend thought she was the lonlinest person in the world, yet we all came running for her when we knew she was feeling sick. Don't let other people kill you, because it's their judgment that's making you ill. You're strong, and if you forgot how strong you actually are you need someone to remember you. You're not a waste of oxygen nor space, think about Trump. I think he's more of a waste lmao. The fact that you didn't accomplish anything now doesn't mean you never will. And it's PROVEN, this is something proven. I don't know if you like these bands or not, but I suggest you to check out Rise Against music video "Make it stop". It talks about people dealing with bullying and suicidal thoughts. I don't know if that will help you, but I think that's a good start.
I wish u all the luck, u can write to me privately if you feel like it.
A big kiss on your forehead. You're strong and you do matter, don't forget about it.♥

Jammi98 6 years ago

Hey! It's okay to feel like this once in awhile. Life is like that there are up n downs in it. Giving up on life doesn't change anything. Believe me. /hold your hands/ See~ you are still struggling to live n I see that as bravery. You are spending every single day n trying your best to spend it. /hug n rub back/
Is there anything you love to do? Think about that a little bit. Things you want to try? Why don't you think about it first? N I want you to ignore those ty people. They are the worthless beings living in this world not you! You are a precious person. To me, you looks like a nice friend to get along. So~ please don't go.

Jammi98 6 years ago

@RealityIsCalling Excuse me??? What do you think you are doing! She's trying to seek help! And its okay for anyone who have suicidal thoughts to seek attention! If anybody aren't helping her why can't she simply ask for help??? This place is like family n we all help each other. It's definitely okay to reach out other than hiding it in yourself! Don't ever say things like this to people. This world is made up for all the living beings to share. We all breathe the same air n use the same space. There will be another person to fill that space when u die too! So, don't talk like this! You just save them n show them what went wrong in their lives n comfort them. Not ing say go n die!

[deactivated] 6 years ago

i don't really know what to say here, because i've had a big relapse with my own mental health issues (yipee) due to personal stuff lately, so i tried not to get directly involved for my own sake bc sometimes talking about things triggers me (legitimately triggers me, not just makes me upset). but i've been monitoring and tried my best to get you help when i saw your first post.

i do want to say something, though.

there will always be people who have distorted or misguided views on suicide, depression, whatever, and say like what i saw that one person earlier say (i hope you've blocked them). i can't tell you not to listen to them because i know it's not that easy. i'm lucky because what people thought of me has never been the source of my strife (tho it does contribute sometimes). thus it's hard for me to relate to how you feel personally about people saying like that and i can't really say much to be reassuring or anything. what i can say, though, is that if you need help with a specific person or member harassing you, you can come to me and i can, to the best of my ability, help you take care of it. i'm also willing to listen if you need an ear, genuinely. i'm glad you're alive. really, really glad. and i want you to know more people are glad you're here now than there are es who just want to spread hate.

shywol 6 years ago

@RealityIsCalling Thanks for letting me know you're a and I hope you die slowly and painfully

[deleted]

damnationSUruck 6 years ago

Honestly, only you can find reasons to live. You have to look for these reasons yourself if no one else can seem to show them to you. It differs from person to person: family, religion, passion. A lot of people have been in very dark places at times, sometimes places so dark that suicidal thoughts aren't uncommon. In such times, it's good to remind yourself that there are people out there who would give anything for your health or circumstances no matter how dismal you may think your life is, that's just how bad it is for some people in the world.
There's a lot to appreciate, I feel. But only you can make that effort to realise what's worth living for. It's different for everyone. I'm not trying to preach, I don't want to be pretentious and say I'm here to help when I don't even personally know you or understand your circumstances, but the fact that you're sharing this in an open discussion forum compelled me to at least try and reach out in some way.

I hope all the best for you.

Next >