I want your opinions

First, I have to excuse myself for the foul language that I will be using, so excuse me. If you don't like the usage of foul language, please leave, and this is a very long rant. You have been warned.



There is a family who likes being attached to my family. (FYI: I still live with my parents.) They are homeless. They have a very young daughter, four maybe, a son who is in his early teens, and of course there are the parents. They have lived with us for three to four months and finally moved out, but they have returned. I don't know why they returned. They just did. They're still homeless, and I know for sure that they want to move back in with us, but my mom says they can't, so of course they're not "living" with us, but they practically live in our house. They eat with us and stay with us almost everyday. The only time that they are not in the house is when it's time to go to bed. They sleep in their car in our driveway. You might be asking, "Why don't they go buy a house?" Well, only the mother works. The father can't work because he is not a citizen in the United States and his green card is expired, but his wife won't renew it for him. So why don't the mother go buy a house for them to sleep in? She loves to spend money. She spends money on everything that she likes. She buys purses, jewelries, clothes, make up, totes, towels, and so on. She pretty much buy items that her family doesn't even need, and they have no place to put them, so they sometimes leave it at our house, and let me tell you, the house that my family lives in is very small. The kitchen and the living room is separated by the sink, we have three bedrooms, one for me, one for my brothers, and the other for my parents, and we have one bathroom. Their son is living with us though because he needs to attend school, and I understand that. They want him to have an education, but having their son here means that one of my brother must sleep in my room, and you guys know how uncomfortable that is? I always have to be careful about what I wear to sleep. I usually wear very little to sleep, and now I have to be fully clothed just to go to bed, and that is very uncomfortable, but I have to it up because my brother is in the room with me. (I'm a girl.)

Winter is here again, and my dad is thinking about having the family live with us again, because he feels bad for them, and their little girl is going to suffer if they don't sleep somewhere warm, but my mom says no. My mom doesn't want them to sleep here again because if they do, my mom has to wake up very early just to get ready for work (3:30 am), but here is what I dislike. Even when my parents aren't home, they are still in the house. Even if it's just my siblings and I at home, they will stay, and I honestly don't like that. Like today, one of my brother and I were at school, my dad went to work, and my mom took my other brothers to the doctor, but they still lingered in the house as if it was their own, and I feel like my mom and my dad don't mind that at all, but I hate to think that some people is in our house touching our things. We don't know if they're going to steal anything.

My mom acts like everything is fine when they are around, but when they head to bed, she starts complaining to me about them, so I tell her to stop being so nice to them, but she says she can't help but be nice to them. Which I understand. If you're nice to someone than you'll only receive positive outcomes from life. I say screw it because what is the point when they're not even trying to help themselves? And my mom speaks badly about them behind their backs. My question is: are my parents being too nice (is that even a thing)? Or am I just being a selfish about this? The thing is, I wouldn't mind if they're actually trying to find a house, but they're not! They rely too much on us to feed them, and they have very little manners. They spoil their daughter, and it's like they don't know how to censor, so their little girl is learning bad words, and she cries all the time when she does not get what she wants. I also have a sister, but she is married. I feel that my sister and I are the only ones who hate this situation. How will you guys react to a situation like this because I hate it.

There is so much more to this, but I won't write about it.
watercherry 2 weeks ago
@goldteacup My mother is such a huge believer in that saying. I think it's ridiculous sometimes.

You know, I'm pretty pissed too, but I really can't voice my opinion since I'm just "the child." My opinion doesn't really matter, because if my parents agree on something, we go with it. They really don't. They will cook dinner, but they're not hygienic. They're not consistent with their showers, and they don't brush their teeth, so we don't join them for dinner. Plus, they don't wash the plates and bowls that they use. They leave it in the sink for me to wash, and they don't pick up after themselves. Every time they eat, the dinner table is always a mess. They won't do anything unless we ask them.

The thing is, it's like they don't see that we don't like how they act. We can give them ten thousand signals, and they'll miss each and every single one of them.

Thanks! I just hope this ends very soon.
watercherry 2 weeks ago
@Shirakuen I'm not a fan of my mother's behavior either, but what can I do? She's my mom. It irritates me that she does that, and I have confront her about it, but she's obviously not going to change because she believes too much that doing good will bring goodness into our lives. Also, both my parents have confronted the family. My parents have told them to save money, so they can buy a house, but they just never listen and latch onto us, and I can tell that the mother hates it whenever my parents bring that topic up.
goldteacup 2 weeks ago
"If you're nice to someone than you'll only receive positive outcomes from life." Not really, no. Perhaps in the afterlife, but certainly not in this life.

They're clearly irresponsible and are relying on your parents. If they were desperately trying to improve and saving every penny they could for a house, the story would be different, but as you're saying it, they sound like jerks who only care about themselves, and I wouldn't be surprised if they hurt your family in the end in some way. Helping the kids is fine, they're kids, but not 2 grown people who aren't doing anything.

I would be sooo pissed at my parents if I were you. Do they at least clean your house or help in some way?

The thing is... The house isn't your either, it's your parents', so there's not a lot you can do, besides trying to make them see what they're doing D:

I feel so sorry for you because I value my space and privacy so much!
Shirakuen
2 weeks ago
I have never been in a similar situation but I think I'd be just as annoyed as you are. Your parents are obviously very kind-hearted and good-natured for letting them stay with you in the first place but I think that there is only so much people can give and give without taking anything. Now, I do not want to accuse them of taking your hospitality for granted because I do know that life is certainly not always easy and things can end up being very difficult but you always have to try nevertheless. I cannot comprehend how the wife can square spending money on unnecessary things with her conscience when she has two kids waiting for her and a husband who is very much dependent on her due to his situation. Family comes always first, especially when you have two little children with needs, and it would be the right thing to go get his green card renewed so that they have the chance of a more stable and high income to secure the right living environment for the family.
I personally am not a fan of your mother's behaviour but my grandma is actually exactly the same - always saying yes and complaining when the one she said yes to isn't there anymore. She really should voice her thoughts to the family. Maybe a push like that combined with a heart-to-heart talk is exactly what they need to get everything in order again because things certainly cannot continue to go the way they are right now. Their children should not be your responsibility but theirs.