IN NEED OF HELP! inferiority issues between siblings

I'm currently writing this chapter where I am supposed to explain how my character ended up the way he is at present. The reason is mainly because of insecurity towards his other sibling.

What I am aiming for is to be able to convey the character's feeling as realistic as possible so I am in need of help. My character's name is Seokhwee and he is the eldest in the family. Me being the youngest in our family doesn't really help me have a clear view of an older sibling's perspective so I want to read about what it's like to be the eldest in the family, if not, just being one of the older siblings. What does it feel like to have a younger sibling? Do you ever feel insecure/jealous? If your parents treat you and your sibling/s differently, in what way do they show it? Do your parents compare you to them openly or not? Do your parents have favorites?

Some questions, might be wrongly constructed, but I hope you could understand. English is not my native language :)
If you want to check out the story, it's and mpreg (sorry), featuring SEVENTEEN: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1228326
[deactivated] 6 years ago
I think a key difference between younger and older siblings is their independence level. This might not be true for everyone, but in my case, I have significantly worse "life skills" than my brother. Even though after my brother came I had to mature quickly, I think that since I was the first child, my parents were obliged to do everything for me. And my brother was spoiled, but my parents were less inclined to do everything for him. Now my brother is a lot more independent than me in terms of life skills. But that may also be because I'm lazy, lol.
eeyore97
6 years ago
Hmmm, honestly, yes, at times I do feel insecure and jealous of my younger siblings. Being the eldest at home, you're kinda expected to do well at almost everything. Expected to set a good example to the younger ones, be responsible for not only yourself, but for the siblings as well. It kinda made me develop this sharing habit cos, as the eldest, its known to share things with the younger ones, so.. HAHA.. oh, and you're expected to be more independent and mature. (ugh, i just wanna be a kid)

Being average in my studies, and my sister being better at them, its kinda obvious that my dad likes/favours her more. Its pretty obvious with all the praises and the way he treats her. But then again, I'm not that close to my dad so.

All in all, being the eldest is tough as your actions are being watched by so many other pairs of eyes. :')

Good luck on your fic! ^^ *I support dem couples in your foreword XD*
MissMinew
6 years ago
I'm the oldest of four. I used to compete a lot with my brother on an "invisible" basis. Nothing really warranted the competition but it was there. I have, if anything, felt inferior to all of my siblings at one point because they're just that good lmao. I took on all these "ideal" traits I needed but no one ever told me I really did need that. My siblings never did anything to tell me I was worse than them either. In fact, my youngest sister has openly expressed how much she admires me (for reasons still unknown to me). I don't know if I can recall all the feelings and/or relate them to my siblings because I think most of the reason I was feeling inferior was because I saw myself as needing to be more, needing to be better, needing to be successful. It wasn't because my siblings were mocking me or telling me I was a failure. But if you want to ask more questions, just send me a pm.
_Roxas_
6 years ago
Ah, yes. I'm the oldest of three. This is just my experience, but I've found that being the oldest places you in the position of the most responsibility. I was pushed the hardest to succeed and was put under so much pressure in high school that I actually developed a minor case of depression due to the intense amount of stress I was placed under by both my parents and myself as a result. Additionally, it was not uncommon for my siblings to be compared to me, "Why can't you be like _Roxas_," and it's a horrible feeling, actually, because your siblings then harbor resentment for you. Not to mention the fact that my siblings were very close in age to me, and so they never saw me as an authority figure. Actually, they demeaned me more than anyone simply because I was older than them. And oh, God, they won't tell me anything because they are sure that I will rat them out, even for insignificant things, and that hurts too, because as an older sibling you want to be trusted. Hope that helps. (BTW, I'm in a much better situation with my siblings now XD We're a lot closer now that we're older)
KaiKuzco
6 years ago
Older siblings are generally more responsible, independent, and affectionate/understanding towards their parents than their younger siblings. They can express their insecurity and jealousy through bullying, bossing/telling their younger siblings what to do, passive-aggressive comments, etc. Even when older siblings get a bit abusive, they become motherly and protective when the parents are away or serious happens. The youngest usually gets spoiled. The middle child is usually stuck in the background while the oldest or the youngest create the drama. In big families, siblings who have less s have closer relationships compared who are much older/younger than them. So usually one child gets isolated due to their age. Parents wouldn't openly compare their children against one another unless their intentions are to have them compete with one another. My parents knew we had different talents and are capable of doing different things, and they never pressured us to best one another.
lejeuparfait
6 years ago
@sunflowerpots No problem :)
worldominvtion
6 years ago
It depends, honestly. I'm in my 20s, but my brother is a teen, so we are pretty much like cat and dog: we bicker a lot. Also, my mum was much, much stricter with me. More often than not, the oldest will carry a larger amount of responsibilities along with the burden/pressure to succeed while the youngest will be treated more preciously; parents will let things slide more often.
sunflowerpots
6 years ago
@lejeuparfait He's seventeen in the story ^_^; I forgot to mention. Thanks for this information!
lejeuparfait
6 years ago
Hi! I don't know how old your character is (I won't be checking out your story: I don't particularly enjoy and mpreg) BUT my younger sister and I are in our twenties. I like having a younger sibling although I also wonder what it'd be like to have an older sister too. I think I treat my sister well: I tend to pay for meals when we go out and I willingly share most of my food/clothes/etc with her. I've had people tell me that their younger sibling is annoying, but I'm actually the one that bothers my sister by poking her and hugging her and kissing her randomly. She didn't used to like it when we were younger (like when we were 9 and 10 yrs old) but now she just rolls her eyes when I do it. I think I used to be jealous of her when we were smaller, but nowadays I know our personalities and opinions can be opposing so I don't mind our differences. I thought our parents treated us differently before, but now they don't. I know my parents "cherished" me more when I was a baby, since I was their first. Like there are a lot pictures of me as a baby and I have my own photo albums, hand/footprints, home videos...There's probably more that I had done for me but I can't remember; if you look at my sister's baby stuff however, there's less photos of her alone and more with the two of us together and she doesn't have much else in the way of baby keepsakes since we basically shared everything. HAH, not much comparing between the two of us, because we're both lazy butts. Mostly my mom would compare us to our cousins, which is the worst because we grew up in different situations and she has no right comparing us. And right now, no favourites between us two. We're not that great daughters at the moment XD I hope some of that was helpful! Super long, but I couldn't break them into paragraphs since this is a discussion ^^