@Elley1040 I don't think you have true friendships because they wouldn't only last a year. I have to say I'm not that good with socializing but I do have some very good friends. I knew them from school and many years later we still keep in touch especially with WhatsApp, it makes keeping in touch easier. We chat about work, our interests, our goals but we don't necessarily talk all the time (that's why I say I'm bad at socializing). But we do meet up almost once a year to hang out or chat. In the adult world, you actually have less time to hang out with friends because you'd be working like 80% of the time. It's a chore to balance friends, family and work but it's actually something you learn to do throughout your whole life.

I think you may need to communicate with your mom that you need some "self time" vs. "family time". Were you assertive with your mom about the things you want to do and how what she is expecting you to do is interfering with what you want to do? If you haven't, you should; nobody is a mind reader. Sometime parents don't share their worries and concerns fully with their children because the children are not mature enough to understand the hardship of adult life. You may want to communicate with them rationally why you should be able to start making your own decisions. In the end, friends don't help you make a living, you and your family do. So you may need to prioritize what's truly important in your life before you start balancing social life, work life and family life.

In any case, you can always move out of your home and become financially independent then you can make all the decisions you want to make because you are now responsible fully for your own life. But if you cannot be financially independent, I think you need to be more understanding of why your parents may make certain request of you. Because you are dependent on them. But of course if you're not, then you have rational reasons as to why you should have more control over your own life.

And thanks for this question. ;)

I wish everyone here love and happiness in their life, though! <3

Letting me be. I don't know if it has something to do with me being a first born but I secure always that I am fulfilling my duties as her daughter like chores, errands, and stuff. However, when it comes to socializing, I think I lost track of how that goes. Being always beside my mother bec she needs me for the family is quite not okay every now and then, sometimes I find myself sad and really, really down. I wanted to have friends, but everytime I am happy with my friends there goes a problem here and there in our family and in her business making me run to her always. My friendships never lasts for a year. I wanted to know people. I wanted to experience other things yet she's unnoticeably not letting me. I may have my mind just clouded but I am sure I am desperate to have someone other than this quite toxic family.

Doesn't let me date until I'm 18 which is fine since I haven't really been looking for anyone. I plan on simply focusing on school and pursing my career so dating won't be on the to-do list for some time :)

@goldteacup She usually just gets mad. Like today when I told her I don't like it that she just comes to my room when I'm changing my clothes she got very mad and mumbles the whole day "why does she has to be so sensitive"

I think it's in the genes

I'm already past the age in which my mom could tell me what to do (yay adulting!) but it sounds like your mom is extremely overprotective. And a little bit too controlling. She's scared something will happen to you abroad, when she won't be there to watch over you, or that the boy/friend in question will hurt you, because for her you're too young to distinguish a dangerous person, or won't know how to defend yourself if this boy tries something.

Now for the studying and doing laundry..... I have no idea, perhaps it's a misunderestanding? Maybe you should try talking to her, or having another adult talk to her, because that's no way of keeping your kids out of trouble. Actually, it's a sure way to get them in more trouble, when they get tired and leave.

Plus, she can't expect you to be happy in HER way, you're not her. You have your own personality and dreams, and she has to understand being different isn't bad.

I hope you can honestly talk to her, at least try to fix your relationship before it's broken. And if you can't, hang in there, you'll soon be free to do as you please :)

@Rainbow76 Oh, we don't fight. We just don't talk because we don't like each other.

@Armyster Trust me you are going to be absolutely fine and achieve all your dreams.

You have a fighting spirit and it scares the hell out of your mom that she cant control you.

Just stay as calm as you can and smile around her and act like everything is fine and don't waste your breath getting into fights, it will make her more stubborn to discipline you and make you even more crazy.

The best thing about school and getting older is that you finally gain independence. When you get to about nineteen or twenty your parents cant make you do anything and thats when negotiations start.

Doing anything for the first time is scary but you wil travel as well as meet someone you like. Also parents do play favourites sometimes. its really cruel of us but we get into stupid moods and try and be nice to one child to make the other feel a bit jealous. I usually end up buying my kid something nice when I end up doing that, Yes also a bad parent but one that is learning everyday.

try to think of your mom as a person instead of your mom and you might start understanding why she does the things she does.

@Rainbow76 We can't do a thing together. Because she doesn't like me. And really doesn't hide it. She likes my sister the best and they always go to places and it kinda that she lets my sister do more stuff because my sister is 3 years younger than I am. We don't even like the same things or share any kind of values, I want to become independent and free but she thinks I should study cooking (she did, but I really hate cooking) and marry someone and make at least 3 kids with that (un)lucky guy, move to suburb, pretend to be happy, work long days in a crappy diner and do everything average. Eat at McDonald's once a week, own a dog, live on a street where every single house looks the same and have a nice car but not too nice, that kind of car that lower middle class owns.

Like no. I don't want to study cooking or live in a suburb or have a dog or a car. Husband, two kids and maybe a cat if my future hubby likes cats. My mom hates cats. An apartment, maybe a balcony, in the city near by a park and the office and a nice coffee shop which I see every day but never visit because I don't like coffee. But apparently the cat or the coffee shop will murder me.

I am so sorry I shouldn't laugh but this is so funny. I am a mother to teenagers and let me tell you a secret, the only reason your mother is saying No to a lot of these things is for two reasons.
1. She was an extremely naughty rebellious girl at your age and is trying to hide her past.
2. She had a strict upbringing and is scared of everything herself.

Parents are naturally cautious but she is a little extreme. Perhaps you should suggest doing these things together with her e.g. maybe no one wil murder you if she accompanies you :-)

Good luck you are in for an interesting couple of years :-)

@NutellaBreath Oh she doesn't like China, because 1) Chinese people WILL murder you -mom 2) China is far away 3) If I can't talk about it she thinks I stop liking it


For some reason I think no one in China is so obsessed about me that they'd want to kill me. She also got triggered because of pandas (http://nordic.businessinsider.com/china-is-giving-finland-two-pandas-for-its-100th-birthday---but-one-pensioner-is-jeopardising-the-whole-thing-2017-4)

- don't be rude
- don't get bad(failing) grades
- no dating until after i graduate college(which will be in soo long since i'm still in high school)
- no use of wifi during exam week
- don't reveal any personal information online, like where i live or my real age
- going out without her permission
- don't waste money on things i probably won't use

this is pretty much all i can think of? my mom's not exactly strict compared to other parents and lets me do most of the stuff i want, even though i'm just at home most of the time. xD i love her so much. <3

1. Don't drive outside country alone
2. Don't waste money on weird things (which is understandable since I do that a lot)
3. Dont go out at night alone
4. Don't give money to beggar who has all body part and still capable to work
5. Don't pick up stray cats/kittens and brought them home
6. Don't donate to the people who visit your home, they might lie. Better donate at the legit place directly.
7. don't do reckless thing

No tattoos
No smoking/drinking
No sleepovers at friends' house

I'm sure there's more...

1.) Be bi
2.) Be atheist
3.) Defend the LGBTQ+ community
4.) Talk about the LGBTQ+ community
5.) Look at anyone who looks mildly non-straight
6.) Question religion
7.) Watch TV shows or shows that feature queer people or couples
8.) Watch TV shows with scenes
9.) Kissing scenes
10.) Or swear words
11.) Watch Bob's Burgers >:-(

Why not talk about China..? That's kinda random

1. Don't do things you don't want to do
2. Don't marry just because you need to (especially not anyone within my father's clan, who is traditionally my fiancé since birth)
3. Don't hesitate to take a chance
4. Don't stop doing what you love
5. Don't live following someone or depending on someone
6. Don't forget where you come from

My mother never prohibited me from doing anything and just did negotiation with me so it would work for both of us.

Oh, and visiting South Korea or anywhere in Europe atm. She's insistent I will be kidnapped by ISIS or the North Korean government :/

Hmm, now that I'm in college, about the only thing that I can't do is get bad grades. When I was younger, however, here were some things:

1. No tattoos.
2. No dating until I was 16 (not that anyone wanted to date me anyway :c)
3. I wasn't allowed to go over to a guy's house until I was like 16, and that was only because my parents had met him and thought very highly of him.
4. Drive more than thirty minutes away (this was lifted when my grandparents moved an hour away from us)
5. Watch TV, play videogames, or be on the phone/computer during the schoolweek (except for educational purposes)
6. Stay up past 10 on school nights, and 12 on weekends (usually)
7. Discuss politics and controversial issues, mostly because it sparked debate in my controversial household. I was glad to follow this.
8. Have social media, except for Facebook.
9. Reveal information online, and chat online in general. My brother got his PS3 taken away several times for playing multiplayer.
10. Play online games. They believed it gave the computer viruses (in their defense, my brother ACTUALLY put 1000+ individual viruses playing unsafe platforms. Took my dad three days to clean up.)
11. When I was young, watch Cartoon Network (a cartoon channel) due to one particular cartoon. My delinquent self did anyway LOL
12. Going to parties. Not that I wanted to

There's more but I can't think of them off the top of my head LOL. My mom is very protective and EXTREMELY insistent I be successful (as well as my sibs). Anytime I did something wrong it was either I was lazy or a result of anime. Or, in their words, "Japanese cartoons" or simply "Naruto" (regardless of what I happened to be watching XD) I do understand all her rules though. Some were weird but most of them were trying to make me a productive citizen, though I do wish I could have been allowed to have a social life prior to senior year XD

@ScarletArrow I'm totally the opposite. A lots of my friend told me that I'm lucky, for being disallowed to drive and work. But I feel like I just want to depend on myself, which is not allowed :(

@Flawless-94 I actually wish I wasn't allowed to drive... I was forced to take Driver's Ed, Behind the Wheel, & take the test by my parents. I didn't want to do it, and I pretty much hate driving. I would much rather be typing a story on my phone in the backseat of the car.

1-no work
2-no driving
3-never go out alone
4-no boyfriend (this one especially, I don't care!)
5-no Kpop dancing (since I ruind the carpet of my room and became too skinny for her desire)
6- no dieting to lose weight, which I don't do, but she insist that I'm
7-no caffeine
8-no sharing personal information online, even my name!
9- no tight clothes !!!!!! Unless it Holliday, party or something special (she still not liking it, but all my clothes are tight, so .....yeah!)
10-no cutting my hair more than 3 inches (whichi will never do anyway)
10-no dancing in front of others, unless its so modest and no too much hip work (I'm shy person, so even she allowed, I won't)
11- no skipping meals!!!
12-no staying up late (this one is impossible!!!)

The list goes on and one, almost endless :|

what evokes me the most, that I never grow up in her eyes :/

I appreciate her presence in my life♡