"Love your neighbor as you love yourself," Jesus said.

And I swear it's reaaaally difficult especially when that person is annoying. I'm a work in progress, but seriously, this is a simple illustration of just how much I need grace. This blog post could be difficult to follow. My mind's all over the place right now. There's so many things I want to say and making sure I've punctuated each sentence correctly is a hefty task.

No joke.

Okay, so where was I? Oh, right: loving your neighbor.

You know, this is what I find so amazing about Jesus. He's this radical savior who took the Jewish world by storm. And he's still doing it now. Jesus loves people, and from the eyes of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, it's evident. He ate with tax collectors, talked to es and touched the lepers. We're talking about the underdogs here. What they did, and what they had, did not stop Jesus from reaching out to them. From loving them. I think that's awesome. I think it's crazy.

I can only be amazed.

To know he took time serving people, directing them where to go in order to reconnect with the Father, despite knowing how he'd end up.

Fully God, fully human. He turned water into wine and flipped tables in the temple.

And to think we all can have this intimate relationship with someone like him, just...wow.

So, as I was saying! Loving your neighbor.

Not just the nice (or grumpy) family that lives next door. The word 'neighbor' in that passage transcends its literal meaning.

By neighbor, Jesus meant people.

People who hurt you.

People who reject you.

People who do not share your own belief.

People who seem to live in a different world from you.

I'm going to be honest here. I consider myself to be pretty laid-back. But once someone burns me out, I would have a difficult time getting along with that person again. Once that someone crosses the line, I would just turn apathetic towards them. I'm not even kidding. But thank God because he has been refining me. I swear, he's the strength of my heart.

Some days would go like this:

"Summer, I want you to approach her. Ask how she's doing. Maybe get some coffee, too."

"Abba, wait wait what?"

"She needs a friend right now."

"But have you forgotten what she did to me-"

"Well, love, I don't remember your sins no more, too. I love her just as much as I love you, but she doesn't know it yet. I want you to approach her and show what I think of her. Now, go."

"Does it really have to be me because to be honest I am not emotionally prepared."

"Don't worry, I got you. I'll be your strength and I'm stronger than your heart. I am with you, all right? Go."

And I swear sometimes it's uncomfortable and weird and all awkward things put together and I do not feel safe at all but God's good.

That's what really gets me, though.

Before walking with Jesus, I used to utterly detest myself. I can't seem to love others the way I wanted to, because in the first place, I did not have any love to give away. But God loved us first. We love, because he loved us first. And once we really understand that, it wouldn't be difficult loving others, no matter who they are; no matter where they come from; no matter what they believe in.

It'll just flow naturally, because we know we are loved.

Let that sink in.

We are loved by the Star Breather. So it's time for us to love ourselves.

But don't get me wrong.

It isn't the conceited, I-am-so-amazing-only-look-at-me kind of self-love. It's the Godly kind of love.

The kind where we understand we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Where we understand that while we were at our darkest, God has already been loving us. So much, that he sacrificed his son so we could reunite with him once again.

Where we understand nothing--and I mean nothing--can separate us from God's love. Not death. Not life. Not our victories or failures. And it's because of the way Jesus has embraced us.

We're all messed up and broken and unlovable, but Jesus still wept and laughed with us and went through the things we go through and I swear he gets the human heart so much.

What's more, in Christ, we are made new.

God has lavished his love on us. The very one who balances the cosmos and accurately sets the distance between the heavenly bodies, loves us. Richly. Relentlessly. Wholly.

Personally speaking, knowing God kept on loving me even when I didn't even know about it...encourages me to love others the same way. Of course, I'll be tired and I'm sure I'd end up telling on God on some days, crying and thrashing about, wanting out.

But I know he's strong enough.

My heart is weak, but he is not. My emotions waver, but his love does not.

My soul, anchored to him; my eyes, fixed on him; my heart, set on his will.

And I'm marking this to remember my stand, because sometimes, I forget.