Most of the people whom you have told about your problems always say that 'Hey, move on now.' 'Be happy.' 'It's alright'. To be honest, it sometimes doesn't help you in getting better. Surely you need someone who understands how you feel, and who's going on the same situation; someone who's lost as well. You need and prefer someone who says 'I can feel you.' 'I know you're in a difficult situation right now like I am.' 'We need each other's shoulders.' It sounds selfish just to think of it but that's the reality. Human beings need to be selfish in order to survive; it's our instinct. People would feel better when thinking that 'I'm not the only one who's suffering.' 

And well, basically I'm butthurt about the news with Tiffany and Nichkhun. I like Khun, I like Tiffany. Butcseriously I ship them with other persons. And the worse is... I'm too much of a fan of Khuntoria...especially Sifany. It really hurts that KhunFany is real. I see them cute and compatible with each other but really... I'm too much of a Prophet to be happy. Not that I'm saying I'm not happy for them. But really, sometimes I wish that they would somehow break up and yeah-- crackship will be sailship after some time.

Yes, I'm here to vent out my emotions. This is a selfish blog. There will be lots of immature and stupid stuff in here because I can't keep them all to myself ok. I have the freedom to express my emotions. I'm not gonna bash anyone. Don't continue anymore if you're not interested. I don't care if this post remains unread. I just really want to let things out.

 I know I'm overreacting about the things that are happening and it seems like I'm really depressed as if I got cheated or broke up. The feeling that I don't want to accept the reality is happening right now and I can't do anything to change the world. I'm very sad and anhedonic. The couple that you've been loving so much won't come to reality anymore. I just... It's hard to accept and I get internally upset when someone ships the new couple. I don't even know why I'm too close minded right now. I'm so bitter and my pride eats me up that I'm not happy for the both of them. This is life, I guess? Not all things will go according to my plan and what's left for me is acceptance...which I don't want to do right now. A little part of me hopes that Sifany will be real, somehow...somewhere. Maybe in a parallel universe? I don't know. I'm lost. I'm in pain. I don't know why. I don't want to go to the right path right now. I want to rant, my feelings out. I want to write. I want to cry. I admit I got obsessed over Sifany. I know what I'm doing right now isn't good but this is how I deal with sadness.

I went to stalk khunfany months ago and the fan accounts seem legit. I say they're cute and I'm okay with them but I know to myself that deep inside I'm hurt, upset, angry at some weird reason, and also, I'm very very far from happiness.

Back to Sifany,

When you're a hardcore Proohet and you see Tiff smiling and in love with someone else, you couldn t help yourself but to be upset and annoyed to the other guy, right? Like how we feel when we're reading a sifany fanfiction. But the difference is, in fanfiction, we're sure that sifany will end up together while in reality, there will be no assurance. Dang we don't even know if Siwon feels something for Fany. Still, we ship them together cause we know they're fine and their personalities really suit each other. I just wish...they will get real. Or will be given any interactions or something that we, Prophets, could enjoy. But seriously I have to ban Khun in my mind. /sighs/

I'm never leaving the fandom, though. I will continue to write sifany fanfictions and i will continue to ship them. I hope other prophets will do the same as well. Go blind from reality and focus on fan fictions. I know later on we're gonna move on but really, not now. Prophets amd Khuntoria fans need time to digest the reality and the process would be difficult. Some might move on easily and some won't. Each individual is different from the other but there will be reactions that are going to be the same. We all want to talk about sifany, right? They've given us happiness and we felt like we were the ones in love. 

After some time I'll read this blog and I'll laugh at myself and think of me as an immature jerk. Future me, I have something to say to you :)

Yes, you are very immature and obsessed to Sifany to the point that you even cried for them. Yes, you are embarrassed as now but that really happened to you. You even wished for their break up and unhappy relationship so they would break up although you don't want fany to date a guy who's not really handsome and caring. You even wanted her to be gay for Taeyeon because you were hurt to see her in another man's arms. For Siwon, you just wanted him to have feelings for fany so he'll be strong wnough to go for her. You even wished to pluck them out of earth and put them on moon so they'll become like adam and eve. No third parties. Just siwon and tiffany.