I've been scanning through one of my fanfictions, and I couldn't help but be frustrated.

My goal when beginning that fanfiction was to make Alex and Kyuhyun become friends first, rather than lovers. But I rushed it too much and just..ARGH.

I'M SO FRUSTRATED!

I wish, I just wish I could go back into the past and wrote jokes that they could use as inside jokes, and I wish I could go back in the past and write moments where they could just talk to each other as friends, and I wish I could write small tidbits of Kyuhyun's frustration with Alex in focusing on nothing but studying, and gives her things that she could focus on so that she doesn't stress herself out as much.

I wish I could had developed their friendship as an actual friendship rather than just a fanfiction friendship where everyone knows that they'll end up together. And it bugs me greatly that I didn't.

I could have written about how nerdy those two actually were. I could had written about how close they were, not as lovers, but as friends. 

BUT I DIDN'T. AND THAT FRUSTRATES ME.

IT MAKES ME WANT TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE GERDANG STORY.

BECAUSE THE THING IS, IT'S POSSIBLE TO ONLY HAVE A FRIENSHIP BETWEEN A GUY AND A GIRL, AND ONLY KEEP IT AS A FRIENDSHIP.

BUT I DIDN'T.

BECUASE I WAS YOUNG, AND STUPID, AND DIND'T BELIVE IN THAT.

WHY.

URGH.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M REWRITING IT ONCE IT'S ALL DONE AND OVER WITH.

I might just rewrite it all! Because I'm just absolutely frustrated with how it came to be.

Becuase I have no life. And I'm going to college soon, which means I might have more free time (It sounds weird, but it happens) and I have my friend as a roomate who understands fandom stuff.

So my point is: I'm frustrated in my writing. And I'm going to change it.

Ohh, ohh, I'm going to change it.